Community (TV Series)
Remedial Chaos Theory (2011)
Donald Glover: Troy Barnes
Photos
Quotes
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Jeff Winger : [doorbell buzzes]
[groans]
Jeff Winger : Okay. Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
Abed Nadir : Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating six different timelines.
Jeff Winger : Of course I am, Abed.
[swelling dramatic music]
Abed Nadir : [Abed grabs the die before it lands] I don't think you should. Chaos already dominates enough of our lives. The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness. Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it together, on the raft of life. A raft held together by those few, rare, beautiful things that we know to be predictable.
Britta Perry : Ropes. Vines. Vines? Let him finish!
Abed Nadir : Us. It won't matter what happens to us as long as we stay honest and accepting of each other's flaws and virtues. Annie will always be driven. Shirley will always be giving. Pearce will never apologize. Britta's sort of a wildcard from my perspective. And Jeff will forever remain a conniving son of a bitch.
[everybody gasps]
Shirley Bennett : Abed!
Abed Nadir : There's 6 sides to this die, and 7 of us. He devised a system by which he never has to get the pizza.
[Jeff smugly chuckles]
Shirley Bennett : Jeff! Really?
Troy Barnes : Dang, man.
Annie Edison : You crafty jackrabbit.
Britta Perry : Asshole.
Pierce Hawthorne : Pretty low, dude. It's called friendship, look it up. Encarta it.
Troy Barnes : I think we just found our pizza-getter.
Abed Nadir , Britta Perry , Shirley Bennett , Annie Edison , Pierce Hawthorne : Yes, we did!
[general agreement]
Jeff Winger : Oh, like it matters who goes.
[Jeff rises from his seat and is hit in the head by the ceiling fan]
Jeff Winger : Ow!
[all laugh]
Jeff Winger : What's so funny?
Annie Edison : Karma.
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Abed Nadir , Troy Barnes : Troy and Abed's new apartment!
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Troy Barnes : I demand to be housewarmed!
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Abed Nadir : Tonight we offer something far more than boobs and billiards.
Jeff Winger : What?
Troy Barnes : One word, two syllables.
Jeff Winger : Don't say charades.
Abed Nadir , Troy Barnes : Yahtzee!
Jeff Winger : Is charades off the table?
[pulls cork from bottle of Serbian rum]
Troy Barnes : [shakes dice in cup] Come on. And...
[rolls dice]
Troy Barnes : Okay. Now... "How to play Yahtzee."
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Britta Perry : Troy lost his larynx because, for some dumb reason, he tried to destroy a flaming troll doll by eating it.
Troy Barnes : [Computerized voice] Clearly you don't understand anything about defeating trolls.
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Abed Nadir : Guys, I've been thinking about that night over and over, and one thing has become clear: this is the darkest, most terrible timeline.
Britta Perry : Enough with the timeline crap, Abed! Pierce got shot in the leg and died! Shirley's a drunk. Annie is locked up in a mental ward because her guilt drove her insane. Jeff lost his arm in the fire. Troy lost his larynx because for some dumb reason, he tried to destroy a flaming troll doll by eating it.
Troy Barnes : [Computerised voice] Clearly you don't understand anything about defeating trolls.
