User Reviews

Should've been titled the, "12 Gruesome Deaths of Christmas."

Complete with killer Christmas lights that break from their shackles for the attack, a mysterious fog that makes that creepy noise while stalking its prey, and unlucky Grandma impaled by a giant icicle that missiles from the sky.

A small-town story of biblical proportions, of course character and place names gotta use biblical references. And finally, no good biblical disaster story is worthwhile without an evil nemesis, so toss in a Wal-mart clone and its megalomaniacal owner as the villain. I mean, the disaster has to have a purpose, right?

A sophomoric movie that I admit kept me watching just to see how it ends. The real end though, was me poking myself in the chest for losing two hours of my life.

" On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me ... " You know the song don't you ? And thanks to this movie from the SyFy channel I found out a few other other things . Thinking I was going to be watching a cheap version of something THE CORE or 2012 I found out so many things I didn't before . Watching THE 12 DISASTERS OF Christmas was a highly epistemological experience

The original song the 12 Days Of Christmas isn't in fact a traditional European Christmas carol but is a warning from Mayan Prophecy

A complete stranger aged in their seventies can turn up at the home of a teenage girl asking to see her and no one is reminded of TO CATCH A PREDATOR

Characters who are of of one hundred per cent European descent living in North America and who have never been near South America can still have a Mayan bloodline

I could go on but you see the point I'm making . Whenever a character says something or does something you're left scratching your head or rubbing your chin thinking " Hmmmm I don't think any of this is at all likely " When an audience member starts bigging them self up thinking they're more erudite than the screenwriter that's a fault that can't be overcome

The main problem of the movie is how inoffensive and family friendly it all is . It's not necessarily a bad thing because I did have the misfortune to watch CABIN FEVER 2 SPRING FEVER the previous night but THE 12 DISASTERS OF Christmas has the opposite effect . It's not much different from watching one of those disease of the week TVMs . It's summed by a scene where two characters find themselves in the middle of a tornado storm and a car falls towards one them . Cut to other character screaming and screen fading to black

I actually aim to be encouraging to be encouraging towards films with my comments, summaries and ratings, but only ones that really deserve it. The 12 Disasters of Christmas doesn't deserve it for me, it is one of those movies where a movie title is spot on in summing up the quality of the film. The 12 Disasters are not of Christmas or the disasters depicted in the movie to me, more like the 12 main disasters that contribute to the overall disaster that is this movie. List of disasters in regard to this regard(in no particular order):

Disaster #1- In regard to the special effects I wasn't expecting great ones considering the term low-budget. I did want to see some kind of effort, which is not what I got with The 12 Disasters of Christmas. These ones look really cheap and perhaps even unfinished, again not unexpected, but seriously these are among the worst I've seen in a while.

Disaster #2- The editing is very choppy. It does little to make the scenery and such interesting or striking to look at. But it also manages to actually make the effects even cheaper than they already are.

Disaster #3- All of the acting is poor. Everybody seems really bland, the very worst could be described as non-existent, and never once is there a sense of genuine peril or terror.

Disaster #4- A complete lack of atmosphere. Any scenes that mean to indicate any signs of suspense or a sense of genuine horror at the perilous predicaments fail completely.

Disaster #5- Which leads directly onto the story. Pacing-wise you know a film is dull when nothing compelling of the kind happens. To further disadvantage things, there is also nothing that comes across as a surprise, it is riddled with predictability that you know exactly what is going to happen throughout. It also suffers from taking itself far too seriously.

Disaster #6- There is some really awful writing in The 12 Disasters of Christmas. The whole dialogue throughout the entire movie is awkward and cheesy, and made even worse by the uninvolved line delivery of the actors. There are also far too many biblical references and names that are both poorly placed and very poorly researched.

Disaster #7- If you are looking for any likable characters, don't look for them here. And let's forget for a moment that the characters and many of the situations are clumsy and overused stereotypes. These characters are either obnoxious or non-descript and are nowhere near developed enough. Consequently I didn't care for them or their situation at all.

Disaster #8- Coming from somebody who has started a degree in music(vocal studies to be exact), I always do look for good music. And was the music good here? Not to me it wasn't. It wasn't the case for me of it being badly composed, it just came across as generic with a sluggish tempo, making the movie even duller for my tastes.

Disaster #9- With low-budget disaster movies and if you have seen enough, you are probably accustomed to some questionable science and geography. But you will be in for a shock at how many of these errors there are in The 12 Disasters of Christmas and how pushed to the limit of stupidity they are brought to.

Disaster #10- Likewise with the music, this movie has some lame sound effects as well. More often they are overbearing and bizarre even, but what is even more frustrating is that the suspense is partly ruined by the sound effects literally sounding out whether something bad or out of the ordinary is going to happen.

Disaster #11- The directing feels very flat here, breathing no life or energy to the proceedings. There is no sense of individual style or feel of the disaster movie genre as well.

Disaster #12- Bad pacing, it's all very leaden and lifeless, so everything underwhelms whereas it should thrill or shock.

So in conclusion, disastrous. If you do decide to see this movie, do make sure that you do watch it before Christmas(despite the title), otherwise you'll find yourself a Scrooge overnight. 0/10 Bethany Cox

Not only is the acting as poor as described, and seems to mock Mayan culture/ethnicity, but let's add that it's blatantly anti-Semitic (the character named Jude that betrays....not making this up....Mary, Joseph, Jacey (gee...J.C.?), and Peter.

By the way.....the 12 Days of Christmas start AT Christmas, not before. That inaccuracy should have been enough to clue me to avoid this thing altogether.

Geez, need to add more lines....this was really, really a bad movie. And a blatant rip off of Lord of the Rings. I'm honestly not sure why I'm watching to the end....

An end of days movie based on the Mayan calender that never came to be. A very old looking teen named Jacey is the fulcrum for the film. There is the misguided guy who thinks she must be sacrificed based on the last page of an ancient tome. He is wrong and pays with his life but not before others pay a price. So this girl needs to find five rings that will empower her to stop the end of the world. So she goes looking for the rings with her dad's help but runs into problem's. Of course she finds all five rings and stops the end of the world. Her whole family manages to survive, mother, father, and brother. Humm maybe a bit to much but I guess you can't a lot of angst in a ScyFy show now can you??

This one stank worse than the bathrooms in the Superdome during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Just have a few questions here and yes, there are spoilers with them so, let's get started.

Question 1 as the Mayan culture died out in South America would it not be impossible for both The of that culture's bloodline and all of the Rings to wind up in the same location, in North America? What are the odds of that happening? Question 2, on the mountain why did the steam dissolve Mr. Kane however Jaycee and her father had been hit by numerous steam eruptions and came through completely unscathed? Perhaps they had Nomex underwear. Question 3 with the laser-guided stalagmites why is it that no one in this town appears bright enough to get inside? Question 4 when Mary was summoned by the sheriff to the accident site on the road, no other passerbyers, no cops, no other anybody was present at the accident. There should have been someone there who made the phone call to 911 but likely they had something else to do. And in that regard, why did Mary not even check on the other victim in the overturned vehicle? Is it possible that it was that second person in the other car who made the phone call and was just in such a hurry they decided to walk into town? Or could it have been the man in the grassy knoll with the rifle? Question 5, how did this Mayan civilization thousands of years ago hide a ring in a mine that did not exist or would not exist for a thousand years? I'm guessing these guys were good! And Question Number 6 (my personal favorite) is how in perdition's flames did Kane, Mary, Jaycee, and everybody else involved in this fiasco in between make it through the impenetrable barrier of cursed Mayan energy to get to the mine, Grant's cabin, the mountain trail, the ranger station, the Christmas Farm and find the Rings? All of these locales we're outside of the town, you know that place with the impenetrable Death Dome that's sealed everyone inside?

Seriously, who writes this stuff?? Did they have a day off from KinderCare and did it in between recess and lunch period? It's like they're not even trying anymore.