Eisen goes to get his membership card, and mistakingly gets a medical prescription, Thomas Jefferson gets addicted to some hard pharmaceuticals and the Gurus must set off to save him from self destruction.
Jesus, depressed by the actions of the Westbro Baptist Church, decides to use his divine gifts to open a winery. When one of his experiments goes terribly wrong, the Gurus must scramble to save the planet.
Nikola Tesla installs a new security system, Sili, the original version of Siri. The Gurus become angry with their loss of privacy, and Thomas Jefferson is forced to flee the country.