Photos
Quotes
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Madalena : I'm bored, I'm leaving.
King Richard : Oh, my wife! I know we've had our ups and downs. Why, just a few days ago you made me cry so hard I could barely breathe - tell her, Gareth.
Gareth : Eight hours of my life I can't get back.
King Richard : I mean, but that's our thing. That's us! I'm not giving up on us.
Madalena : I want you to give up.
King Richard : No.
Madalena : Please give up.
King Richard : You can't make me.
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[King Richard looks upon the Valencian people]
King Richard : Really hoping for a better turnout.
King of Valencia : This is everyone we have left.
King Richard : 100% turnout! Fantastic!
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King Richard : Valencians, who's hungry?
[everyone raises their hands]
King Richard : Of course you are, my darlings. Now, as you know, I burnt all your crops. But what you don't know is that I saved a healthy portion for me. But if you can't have vegetables, neither shall I.
[Chef brings in a wheelbarrow filled with produce; a knight sets it on fire; the crowd gasps and screams]
King Richard : Oh, I see it now. That was a horrible idea.
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King Richard : Everyone, line up! Take a free shot at the eunuch!
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King Richard : Hey Gareth, did you see how excited Madalena got about this party? I should have shown her my magnanimous side weeks ago! Speaking of wife, is she still locked up there banging out jokes with the Jester?
Gareth : I suspect they're banging out a few things, yes, sir.
King Richard : Wonderful.
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Chef : My research shows that the Valencians have religious aversions to meat and they live almost entirely off their own crops.
King Richard : How resourceful!
Chef : It was, my king. Unfortunately, you burned all their crops during the invasion.
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King Richard : Chef, I've killed most of your family, right?
Chef : Wiped 'em all out, my king.
King Richard : Excellent. Tell me, what does a person do just before they die?
Chef : Well, my father cried.
Executioner : A lot of them do weep, actually.
Gareth : And they wet themselves.
King Richard : Oh!
Executioner : That's also true.
