Scream Queens (TV Series)

Scream Again (2016)

Emma Roberts: Chanel Oberlin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cathy Munsch : Alright Chanels, your job is to follow the doctors around and observe them. You just stand there silently. Something I like to call ghosting.

  Chanel #3 : Point of order, I don't think that's what ghosting is. Ghosting is when you leave a party without saying goodbye.

  Zayday Williams : That's French Exit.

  Chanel #5 : Okay, you guys are all idiots. Ghosting is when you've been texting with a guy for a long time, and you know, things are going really, really well and you think that's he's really into you, and then all of a sudden, one day he just stops texting back because he finally saw what you look like, and so you just text him, and you're like, "Hey sexy, where'd you go?" And then he just doesn't answer because he ghosted.

  Chanel Oberlin : Wait, isn't ghosting when you do a number two and you look down at the paper and there's nothing there, and so you stand up and you look in the toilet but there's nothing there either because the turd somehow got shot down the hole before you even flushed? I mean, that's ghosting.

  Cathy Munsch : Alright! There are a lot of uses for the term ghosting. The usage I am describing is where you stand silently and say nothing!

  Chanel Oberlin : That's not ghosting.

• Chanel Oberlin : Dammit #5, no network would ever hire you! Your face is what they in the business call "a channel changer."

• Chanel Oberlin : It wasn't so long ago that *I* was on the fast track to becoming a network news anchor. *I* had a dream, and that dream was to be the next Diane Sawyer and now I realize that's never gonna happen!

  Chanel #3 : Sorry, what did you say? I zoned out for a sec.

• Chanel Oberlin : #5 got a job as a receptionist at a dentist's office. She said it was because they provided free services to the poor, but I'm convinced #5 did it to get free braces for her vagina-teeth.

• Chanel Oberlin : Come on, Chanels. It is appletini o'clock.

• Ingrid Hoffel : Hello, Chanels. Still dressing like sluts, I see.

  Chanel Oberlin : Hello, Dean Munsch. Hello, Nurse. I thought I smelled something "Hoffel".

• Chanel Oberlin : It turns out, I love blood! Love it! It's 92% water and contains hemoglobin, which transports oxygen throughout our circulatory system. Where did I learn this? In a course I took to become a certified phlebotomist that I passed with flying colors. It turns out, I'm really good at poking people.

• Chanel Oberlin : What's stopping us from becoming special medical correspondents for Fox News? We'll become TV doctors! We'll have our own doctor TV shows like Dr. Drew or Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz or The Doctors! Just imagine the amazing TV show I could do! I mean, I could have segments like, How to Swallow a Tapeworm with Dr. Chanel Oberlin!

• Zayday Williams : I hope you all learned a valuable lesson about how fulfilling being a doctor can be.

  Chanel Oberlin : And I hope you learned a valuable lesson, Zayday, about how EASY being a doctor can be. And maybe now, we can put to bed all of your righteous lecturing about hard work, and accept the fact that through the power of the internet, anyone can be an M.D.