The Mysteries of Laura (TV Series)

The Mystery of the Unknown Caller (2016)

Debra Messing: Laura Diamond

Photos 

Quotes 

• Captain Nancy Santiani : What the hell were you doing?

  Laura Diamond : I was simply...

  Captain Nancy Santiani : No! That was a rhetorical question! Do you want to know what I was doing at 3:30 this morning?

  Laura Diamond : Is that a real question or a rhetorical one?

• Laura Diamond : [Voicemail message]  You've reached Detective Laura Diamond, NYPD, 2nd precinct. If this is an emergency, you should be calling 9-1-1, not me. Leave a message

• Jake Broderick : Jennifer and I are taking all of the boys for Chinese. You mind if I keep ours for tonight?

  Laura Diamond : More Xbox time for me

• Laura Diamond : [Whistles and waves the Meter Maid who is about to give them a parking ticket]  Hi. By the power vested in me, I hereby deputize you to secure this crime scene. Congratulations

  Meter Maid : Does that come with more pay?

  Laura Diamond : Eh, that is an HR question, but there is a dead body in there, so no one comes in or out, until the cops come

  Meredith Bose : The other cops

• Laura Diamond : Hello Reynaldo. You're awfully buddy-buddy with the 82nd

  Reynaldo : Fun fact: I actually work with the entire NYPD, not just you, Diamond

• Laura Diamond : [Looking at her father's phone]  Ugh! FYI there is an incognito browser for if you're gonna be looking at adult content

  Leo Diamond : Whom am I hiding from? I'm an adult

• Max Carnegie : There you are! Sorry to interrupt whatever this is. Ehm, I found what you wanted on Lucy Diamond. It's so funny, this woman has the same last name as you

  Jake Broderick : [Grabs the folder from Max]  You're not supposed to be working your sister's case and you got Max working it too?

  Max Carnegie : [Acts surprised]  Oh, so she's your sister. That makes so much more sense. And why don't I know you have a sister?

  Laura Diamond : Half

  Jake Broderick : That's enough Max

  Max Carnegie : Fine, but there will be conversation about this at a later date. Page two is the rap-sheet for what I now assume is your brother-in-law

  Laura Diamond : [sighs]  They weren't married

• Laura Diamond : [to Lucy]  And don't even think about lying, cause I will smack the living...

  Captain Nancy Santiani : Diamond!

  Laura Diamond : Sisters can smack sisters

  Captain Nancy Santiani : Not in a police precinct they can't

• Laura Diamond : If you're just gonna sit there, judging, I can go back to my seat

  Captain Nancy Santiani : What? Did I say a word?

  Laura Diamond : I'm a mind reader

  Captain Nancy Santiani : Oh, you should spend less time reading people's minds and more time reading them their rights

• Laura Diamond : Paranoid much?

  Captain Nancy Santiani : It's true in parenting as it is in police work: you hope for the best, but you plan for the worst

• Laura Diamond : If I'd known I would be riding in a trash bin, I wouldn't have showered