Scream Queens (TV Series)

The Hand (2016)

Abigail Breslin: Chanel #5

Quotes 

• Chanel Oberlin : You wouldn't understand, #5, I mean, you've never had a boyfriend.

  Chanel #5 : Yes, I have. His name was Tyler and he was murdered, like *3 weeks* ago!

  Chanel #3 : So much weird stuff happens to us, I can honestly say I totally forgot about that.

• Chanel Oberlin : #3, #5, Neckbrace, my dear, sweet idiots, I need some advice. You know how Brock's hand sometimes tries to kill me because he got it off a murderer?

  Chanel #5 : WHAT?

  Chanel #3 : Um no, you never told us that.

  Chanel Oberlin : Okay, well it does and he did.

• Dr. Cassidy Cascade : Wait, so I'm not actually dead? I'm alive? Thank God, I'm still alive! But wait, how do you explain how cold I am?

  Chanel #3 : People psychosomatically manifest symptoms of a disease if they truly believe they have it. They've been known to develop tumorous skin conditions or even paralysis.

  Chanel #5 : Also, you sleep in a waterbed next to a giant air conditioner.

• Dr. Brock Holt : There was this song my au pair sang to me when I was a kid. She sang it to me when she put me to bed and it always calmed me down and helped my sleep.

  Chanel Oberlin : Okay, what's the song? The Chanels and I will sing it to you.

  Dr. Brock Holt : 99 Red Balloons.

  Chanel #5 : That song came out in 1983, which would mean you would probably be about 20. Why did you have an au pair?

• Dr. Cassidy Cascade : I can't go if you're watching.

  Chanel #3 : We need to test your urine. Patients with Guittard's tend to have a high serum concentration of CMMG and weak renal functions.

  Dr. Cassidy Cascade : But do you actually have to WATCH me give the sample?

  Chanel #5 : We need to be sure that you're not pulling a Lance Armstrong and secretly giving us someone else's pee.

• Chanel #5 : It seems like all of us Chanels are just doomed to a life of romantic tragedy.