Fernando Lamas: Self

Quotes 

• Johnny Carson : The average woman thinks if a fella has an accent - whether it's French or, uh, Spanish, or whatever - is somehow mysterious and, uh... has more emotional qualities within him. That's true.

  Fernando Lamas : It also helps when they do not understand you.

• Johnny Carson : Have I ever...?

  Fernando Lamas : Been hit, by a lady?

  Johnny Carson : Well, it wasn't a lady.

  Fernando Lamas : She was not a lady?

  Johnny Carson : Well, no - because, see, if she would have been a lady, she wouldn't have slapped me.

  Fernando Lamas : Right.

  Johnny Carson : Right?

  Fernando Lamas : That's a - that's a marvelous way out.

• Fernando Lamas : Have you noticed that mysterious people are generally mysterious because they have nothing to say? And I think it's a marvelous way out. You stay in a corner - mysterious, serious; people say "very interesting man". Just dumb! Nothing to say. Grow a mustache, like this, and stay very serious. Maybe a patch on the eye, people say "really something".

• Johnny Carson : Who would you like to come - hope to come back, if you could come back in another life?

  Fernando Lamas : I'd like to be a kangaroo.

• Fernando Lamas : [on women being stronger]  You know what would happen if we had to give birth? Humanity would end in a month.