Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Balto (2017)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Steele - voice, Creepy Father, Chester A. Bum

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : They're watching a sled race led by a dog named Steele, who is so mean that literally every frame is determined to convince you he's pure evil!

  Steele : [to Balto]  Get out of here, wolf-dog. You'd better get back to your

  [Spits] 

  Steele : pack.

  [to Jenna] 

  Steele : Well, maybe your taste runs more toward... wolf.

  [Carrying sausages in his mouth] 

  Steele : Jenna, join me for dinner.

  Nostalgia Critic : I've never seen a bad guy where, every second, he's moving in some sort of obviously diabolical manner.

• Boris : Not a dog, not a wolf. All he knows is what he is not.

  Nostalgia Critic : Wow, that was actually pretty heavy. How are you gonna follow something as complex as that up?

  [the next scene shows Balto looking forlornly at a squeaky toy of a cat rolling by him. The Critic looks slightly stunned] 

  Nostalgia Critic : So that just happened.

• Steele : I'm gonna fold you five ways... and leave you for a cat toy!

  Nostalgia Critic : [as Steele]  Then you'll be a part of awkward punchlines like this!

  [the clip with the squeaky cat toy plays] 

  Nostalgia Critic : SHAAAAME!

• Nostalgia Critic : Oh, and there's also these... I think polar bears, though they look more like Moogles if they ate Chien-Po.

• Nostalgia Critic : Is this like when Pluto's on a leash but Goofy can walk around? We just don't question it?

• Nostalgia Critic : It looks like the sled is missing in the storms. Well, okay. I'm sure a slight delay won't be a major issue...

  [child sized coffins are built] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, GOD! Shit's gettin' real, man! I'm just assuming the other coffins are for Tiny Tim, Little Matchgirl and Fullmetal Alchemist spoiler

  [Nina Tucker] 

  Nostalgia Critic : ! Don't act like that can't happen! There's dogs in this world.