Don't Fuck in the Woods 2 (2022) Poster

(2022)

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5/10
Let me deter you from the title
selfdestructo1 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I mean, it directly continues from the first movie, including a carry over of two characters/actresses, but the premise implied in the title is entirely abandoned here (er, at least it's severely downplayed, then promptly forgotten). Don't F in the Woods 2 falls somewhere between Slither and a zombie flick. Plus, they steal from a whole slew of horror movies. Offhand? Friday the 13th, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Alien, Evil Dead, and I'm probably forgetting some. When you're just borrowing stuff, frankly, the movie turns out not-so-memorable.

So, we learn the fate of the initial pre-credits girl (Brandy Mason) in part 1... totally out of left field, nonsensical, and it immediately produces a parasite? Which I suppose sets up the premise where parasites are now infecting various people (including camp counselors!), turning them into, I dunno, slightly deformed people with sharp teeth? AND (most) folks who are attacked, well, you know the rest. Where the first movie focused on a single horror trope, this one is just sort of a hodgepodge of them.

A bunch of camp counselors show up at a camp to set up for the season (in reality, they're just there to get into each other's pants, and provide catty "teen" drama). Then Jane (Brittany Blanton, who has refused to remove her shorts in both movies) shows up covered in blood, in shock, to warn everyone that there's still something out there... even though she clearly blew it up real good in the first movie.

I would say this sequel looks better and sounds better, but is frankly short on original (or coherent) ideas. There is some character development in this one... perhaps I'm being generous. One character has a backstory. Characters are kinda lame, horny, mostly just clueless victims.

SPOILERS Here are some major plot holes: There's a sheriff who likes to give the ex-con handyman a hard time. Sheriff plants evidence, ex-con catches him, so the sheriff promptly puts him in handcuffs and arrests him. Sheriff is killed by one of these zombies, ex-con goes: Get me the keys! And he... just unlocks the handcuffs!! Not only are they right next to an escape vehicle, but all known survivors were present. Holy oversight! In another scene, ex-con is attacked. Cue plugged in buzzsaw (with no cord) sitting on the ground outside. And don't give me 'That's a cordless circular saw,' it is clearly not modern (or colorful) enough to be one. Jane and ex-con go into the tool shed for weapons. Jane comes out with a chainsaw, guy gets... a wrench?! Come on. Hell, use the magical saw you just had!

As far as horror movie time-wasters go, this is a sufficient 90-minute waste, if you're not too picky (like I am). It's got blood and nudity, technical issues are fixed, and the soundtrack isn't as invasive. But to be honest, I found more charm in the novelty of the first movie. Also, bloopers over the closing credits should've died with The Cannonball Run. Like, they got it right once. Move on.
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5/10
They Normally die in the movies
nogodnomasters8 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The film opens showing us the creature from the first film raping and impregnating Meg (Brandy Mason) which we later discover leaves a small parasite larvae in the woods. We know they both died as the fake monster head is kicked by Jane (Brittany Blanton) who survived the first feature and is running and screaming. We do have about six minutes of opening credits so Shawn Burkett makes sure we see his name multiple times. Several young adults show up at the Pine Hills Summer Camp. While this film is made 6-7 years after the first one it starts on the very next day. The monster larvae crawls on the ground and manages to enter a host through a lower cavity. This turns her into a monster that must breed itself by biting the victim with fangs.

The film was longer than the first one and did some minor character development, something that was totally ignored in the hour long first feature. And like an adult feature, every woman in the film is required to take her top off at least once. Some twice. Thank you Kenzie Phillips.

Guide: F-word. Sex. Nudity.
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5/10
Go big or go home
kosmasp25 April 2023
No pun intended - and I am not talking about doing number two in the woods ... you know the question they ask about bears going ... potty in the woods - of course they do. Well this is about the making of this - going bigger than the first movie. You could have expected it I reckon - especially if you have seen the first one.

It's been a while so I do not remember much of the other movie. But we do have some ... well leftovers from the other movie. And as with any horror "franchise" you can assume (rightly) that there is more to come. The ending (and added bonus scene after the credits) do suggest that.

All that said, in case you haven't seen the first one (not sure why you are here, but that is up to you I reckon), than let me tell: there is a lot of blood and a lot of nudity. Since it still is a low budget (even with more money than the first money) movie ... do not expect too much. I think this is a step in the right direction. And it still is all made as labor of love - no pun intended. And you can tell by the few outtakes during the end credits too.
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2/10
The Pandemic Movie Collection
staunton-gary1 January 2023
Holy mother of god! Who the hell thought it was a good idea to dump some cash on this thing?

This movie must be highly listed on the Screenplay Highlighting Inferior Talent index. I have to warn you about this dribble, and I have to have a minimum of 600 characters.

You would be better off watching The Evil Dead (1981) or Evil Dead II (1987), at least they did it correctly.

Lot's of boobs, couldn't spot any plastic though. Only one scene where the thing entered a girls clacker and a bit of girly bits can be seen.

Bad acting, forgotten lines, bad set, it's all here. The story was passable, with polish and a decent budget, this movie could have risen in the ratings. Sorry, not recommending this one.
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5/10
I've seen worse...
Vaultfree9 September 2023
In fact, I've seen worse acting in major studio productions, even worse dialogue. The one thing that is definitive about this film is the effort and commitment put in by cast and crew. Kenzie Phillips has genuine screen presence while all the rest of the actors give it their best but aren't as convincing in their character portrayals. There is some dialogue that is misplaced, but most of it works and serves its purpose fine; the camera shots almost seem to get better once the action gets moving into the horror scenes, as before that much of the character-building feels standard film shooting; some humorous moments, not so much in the jokes or quips, but with special effects being overdone on purpose and splattering the characters.

The actual horror element beyond the gore and monster mutations is surprisingly well done, but it doesn't arrive until very near the end; the rest is a slow build-up but when the gore kicks in, it really kicks in!

I don't think you'll miss anything by not watching this film, but the next time you sit through a 2hr40m major Hollywood production that seems interminably boring, long-winded, and actors are just phoning in their performances, remember there are some films out there that offer simple 1hr30m enjoyment with far more conviction and genuine love towards what is being produced. It doesn't take huge budgets to make good films - just passion and commitment.
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4/10
Very generic writing holds the movie back...
paul_haakonsen3 January 2023
Whereas the 2016 predecessor was actually an okay horror movie ruined by an unnecessary amount of nudity and lewd scenes, then I must admit that I wasn't exactly harboring the biggest of expectations to the 2022 sequel from writers Shawn Burkett and Cheyenne Gordon. Yet, I still opted to watch it, as I had the chance.

The storyline in this 2022 sequel wasn't particularly thrilling or entertaining, so it was a step back from the original 2016 movie. And that was a shame really, because they had opted to tone down the pointless nudity and lewd scenes here.

Sure this movie was watchable, but you're not in for a particularly outstanding moment in horror cinema. The movie was, at best, forgetable actually. Yeah, it is one of those a-dime-a-dozen type of horror movies that brings nothing new to the genre, and just basically does what a thousand other movies had done before it.

But hey, if you enjoy semi-lewd 1980s horror movies, then you will probably find some enjoyment in director Shawn Burkett's 2022 movie.

The acting performances in the movie were fairly okay. And it was definitely nice to see a cast ensemble of all unfamiliar faces and talents. Just a shame that they didn't have a more solid script to work with.

Visually then this 2022 movie is a step up from the 2016 movie, no doubt about it. But special effects can only do so much for a movie, you know.

My rating of this 2022 sequel lands on a four out of ten stars. I watched all 87 minutes of it, but was only mildly entertained. And this is not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time, nor is it a movie I would recommend for horror fans to rush out to get to watch.
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3/10
slightly better than the first movie
SnoopyStyle7 August 2023
A naked woman gets raped and impregnated by a monster in the woods. Pine Hills is a rundown summer camp opening for a new season. The young camp counsellors arrive to get the place into shape although their focus is not always on the work. The final girl from the first movie is walking the woods. A tattoo lesbian couple is doing that thing and gets attacked.

The first movie looks like a DYI project with a bunch of small town friends. They decided to pick up a camera one weekend. It's barely a functional movie and not even a full length one at that. This sequel is a low grade sexploitation B-horror. It delivers the nudity and bloody gore. It's an actual movie and well below average one. The acting is passable to weak. The writing is simple. The filmmaking is poor although slightly better than the first movie. That's what this movie is. It's slightly better.
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5/10
But they did do it in the woods.....
okpilak16 August 2023
The rating is based on what it is, not what soaring movies can be as this certainly is not. There is plenty of nudity, and also plenty of tattoos. Some of the nudity one may wish they hadn't seen. There are copious amounts of blood flowing at the key points in the movie. It is a summer camp, and Gil is a caretaker, who is also a felon who served 5 years in prison, let out for good behavior. But a local sheriff (?) who is very fat wants him back in prison. The camp counselors are present, but none of the kids. There is something evil in the woods, and it is transmitted by a slug type creature, but that is not its only form. As expected, little of the acting is good and it has the low budget vibe throughout. Gil probably does the best acting job. They are isolated 50 miles from anywhere, and the sat phone got broken so they cannot call for help. And the body count increases. If one has actually been able to stay to the end, there are out takes in the credits that shows they had fun making the movie. Oh yes, it ends with the potential for a sequel.
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8/10
Quite good, for what it is
acedj19 January 2023
I stumbled upon the first movie in this series on Tubi. The title alone was enough to get me to watch it. I found the first one campy, yet fun to watch. Sure, there was not a lot of money spent on the effects, but there was not a lot of money spent on the movie period.

I was surprised to have heard that there was a sequel and had to watch it. The sex was cut down a lot versus the original, but they did manage to get every woman go at least topless in this one.

This movie took an unexpected turn where there is now a parasite infecting people and mutating them into what I can only guess were supposed to be earlier, not fully developed monsters from the first.

DFITW2 takes place at a summer camp that is getting ready to open. It has all the tropes that most horrors feature as far as characters, with ne development at all, but that is not why we watch these movies.

Sit back, shut off your brain and watch as the parasite and creatures try to kill off every person in the movie. For a low budget movie, it is really pretty good. There are even some people that can almost act in it. Oh and make sure you hang around for the after credit scene!
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6/10
Vast improvement over the original
Floated28 January 2023
Having recently viewed the original film and partially liking some of it, had low expectations for the follow up. Surprisingly it took six plus years for the follow up sequel to be released, considering these films are lower budget and don't exactly require much filming.

However as a film, this sequel is better. The quality and budget look noticeably sharper, the camerawork and sound quality is better and the acting by the cast is improved. The lead actress from the original returns as it turned out this sequel takes place the same day as the original (or a few hours later). The lead character of Gil also was one of the highlights.

There is more consistency of a plot where it does feel more enjoyable due to its more serious tone and more suspense. There is still some silliness but as a whole it is more consistent.

This is slightly a zombie/parasite film where the original is simply a creature killing people. This twist was definitely solid where people get infected and seemingly become these zombie-like creatures. There is a lesser tone of skin shown considering this film is quite longer, yet there does still include a few scenes.
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9/10
An impressive indie-style creature feature
kannibalcorpsegrinder21 October 2022
After barely surviving the night, the survivor of a vicious monster attack stumbles upon a group of counselors at a nearby summer camp, but when they learn her warnings that the creatures who attacked her before have followed her to the camp must fight the deadly creatures to get away alive.

This was a highly enjoyable and entertaining creature feature. One of the finest points of this one is the rather fun setup that enables this one to be a clear sequel to the original. Explaining how she survived and is able to get to the camp which is obliviously doing their own thing getting ready for camp while spending just as much time seducing or getting laid does this quite nicely, being able to generate some solid sidestories here. With several of the girls trying to seduce the guys to varying degrees of success, the backstory of the ex-con working with them, and the decent work of the counselors trying to get the camp up and running, the ground-work is there for this one to connect the two films together. Once that setup has been accomplished, this one manages to introduce the two stories fully with her arrival at the camp in hysterics. Even though this has a fine start with the attacks on the hikers or their own stragglers in the woods, this one brings about the most fun once the creatures possess the campers and set out ravaging the company left at the camp. The inclusion of a fine suspense angle with them being unaware of the possession and letting the friends run wild picking off several in the area with some pretty impressive and brutal encounters that not only generate some highly effective action scenes fighting off the possessed but allow for a slew of impressive make-up work on the possessed campers and the bloody deaths. These manage to make for a strong and entertaining indie effort. There aren't too many issues here but a few minor factors do come up. One of the biggest is a slightly jarring change to the creatures here which changes them around from a humanoid deformity like the first one to a parasitic being that possesses the host for no reason. There wasn't much to the original that indicated that was how it operated since it was a proper creature whereas here it feels like a weird change that does have a lot of impressive biological functions as to how it all works yet that does slightly change up how the original came together. The only other issue here is a few instances where the budget comes into play, which is namely the rushed finale or some questionable CGI that looks somewhat obvious, but thankfully neither of these factors is too much of a drawback to this one.

Rated Unrated/R: Extreme Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Full Nudity, and Sex Scenes.
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