Ah! My Goddess: Bad Goddess The Anime Video Comic (TV Series)

The Bad Goddess Anniversary Special (2017)

Alan Smithee: Doctor What

Quotes 

• Doctor What : Perhaps I can be of assistance...

  Keiichi Morisato : DOCTOR WHAT! OH THANK GOD! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPPY TO SEE YOU IN MY LIFE!

  Doctor What : What are you talking about? I'm not here to help you. Fuck you, Morisato. I'm here to move the process along to help HER.

  Keiichi Morisato : But... but...

  Doctor What : Hey, man, I know I got magical powers when it comes to helping people and giving advice... but even with all of my amazing abilities, even I don't have the ability to "Unscrew the Lightbulb".

  Urd : How were you planning on helping us then, Doctor?

  Doctor What : Well, not many people know this... but in addition to being a real doctor, a movie star, and having the secret identity of a time lord on public access... I'm also a priest. I can perform this marriage in a lickity split, just like that.

  Belldandy : But we have to get divorced first.

  Doctor What #2 : Perhaps I can be of assistance.

  Keiichi Morisato : Buh, buh, buh...

  Belldandy : Aren't you both supposed to be the same person?

  Doctor What : We don't see the family resemblence.

  Keiichi Morisato : OKAY! DOCTOR WHAT NUMBER TWO! WHAT'S YOUR SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM!

  Doctor What #2 : My solution? Fuck you, Morisato. I didn't come here to help you, I came here to help HER. I know I have these magical abilities of persuasion and special advice... but even with all of my powers, even I don't have the ability to "Unscrew the Lightbulb".

  Urd : Okay, Doctor What Number Two... How were you planning on helping us?

  Doctor What #2 : Well, not many people are aware of this, but, in addition to being a famous horror actor, and suspected but never proven gay erotica adult film icon, I also happen to work for a law firm. I can help move along the process of Belldandy and Keiichi's divorce.

  Skuld : As fucked up as this sounds... watching Keiichi divorce my sister because he landed himself into a shotgun wedding situation may be the most entertaining spectacle I've ever seen.

• Belldandy : Oh, Keiichi, there's one other thing. When this whole mess is over... Doctor What Number Two and I are going to sue you for emotional damage. This whole thing is seriously stressing me out. And as a Goddess of Fate... I sincerely DO NOT LIKE BEING STRESSED THE FUCK OUT!

  Peorth : So, Keiichi... are you ready to step up to the plate and be a father. Because in the end, none of this distracting gossip bullshit matters. All that matters now is OUR child. Not the media, and not your firends and family... just OUR child.

  Keiichi Morisato : Oh my god... all of these years, I've been avoiding having children with Belldandy... and for what? It happened to me anyways.

  Belldandy : But Keiichi, why did you avoid having children with me? What were you so afraid of?

  Keiichi Morisato : Because I'm older now... and the thought of having a child that I might not live long enough to see reach adulthood... the thought of that kills me right down to my core. Think of all the life events I would be missing... I'm scared Belldandy. I don't know if I can take that. And now I have no choice... and it's with another woman...

  Doctor What : So maybe everybody who's watching this should take a fucking chill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's on the internet, so let's all make fun of a man's life and kick him while he's down. In the end, none of you matter in this man's private life. Because she's the one who goes to bed with him. She's the one who makes him happy. And she's the one who raises his child. You're just the people who buy his art. Does that mean you've bought his heart and soul as well? Everybody deserves the chance to settle down. The writing is on the wall. The sum of his life's work is out there for all to see. So let him enjoy his family life, because life is too short and precious to waste.

  Kevin from the Other Dimension : To Kosuke Fujishima. Life happens... and love isn't always pretty. So you better learn to laugh at yourself, for it is better to laugh with everyone than to be laughed at to the point of depression. So be sure to have yourself a "Super Happy Fun Time Marriage for a Lifetime"... and don't let the assholes of the internet tabloid gossip world get your down. Sincerely, Doctor What.