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Mitchell (1975)
Porkapalooza!
What's the attraction of this movie? Why do I keep popping MITCHELL into the VCR? Surely it can't be the title character, as portrayed by Joe Don Baker, is appealing. He's not. Mitchell is a complete slob. He's dim and slipshod. He slurs, he slouches. He's inert, unkempt, and lagging. Dozing at will, drinking scotch by the quart, Mitchell is the very antithesis of the classic action hero. So why do I love this movie? Episode #512 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is arguably the funniest experiment ever unleashed by the evil Mads on poor Joel and the bots. It's through their painful struggle that we find the courage to laugh in the face of this terror. On its own, Mitchell is a bad, bad film blurred by unclear subplots and even hazier characters. As an action movie, there really isn't a whole lot of it. The sluggish car chase, for example, makes "Driving Miss Daisy look like Bullitt." And the beery sex scene between Baker and Linda Evans in which Mitchell rings a six-pack of Schlitz with his toe is easily the film's most uncomfortable, queasy moment. But in spite of these obstacles, Joel, Crow and Servo are relentless in their onslaught of insults and wise-cracks. Bloodied but unbowed, Mitchell keeps coming back for more; the abuse never stops. By movie's end, Mitchell is a broken, beaten man. Hoyt Axton's songs offer little relief. There are no apologies. That's why I love this movie. However... This is NOT the MST3K version. This is the real thing, kiddies. No bots, no Mads, just Joe Don Baker and you. Kinda scary, eh? Well, if you loved experiment #512, you've got to see this "unplugged" version if only to answer the question, "Wasn't John Saxon in this movie?" There are all sorts of scenes not covered in the MST3K episode that will have you laughing and/or squirming on your daktari stool. And you can't help riffing at the TV when something stupid happens. Get it, I say, and have a party. Break out the Schlitz and porkrinds and get ready to porkapalooza! Who's the puffy guy that's a big, blurry sex machine? MITCHELL!