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Pearl Harbor (2001)
1/10
Offensive, insensitive and bad dialogue too.
28 May 2001
Pearl Harbor is three hours long, and three hours stupid. I found it impossible not be offended by the movie, in part by its morals, and in part by its pathetic plot.

It is filled with wooden dialogue (the best being 'World War Two has just started!' - which might make a French, German, Italian, English, Polish, etc veteran wonder what he had been fighting in since 1939), and horrible moments of contrived comic relief. Such as a guy who has a stutter, which is obviously supposed to be something we can all laugh at. Like people with mental and physical disabilities perhaps.

Unfortunately, Pearl Harbor isn't just bad in terms of dialogue, acting, and romantic plot - it has a sour message. The attack was good because it let the U.S. join the war; the war was good because it allowed the U.S. to become strong and victorious and dominate the world. Japan's attack Pearl Harbor was sneaky and 'dastardly' - the U.S. attack on Tokyo was honorable.

The final voice over at the end was insensitive film making. A better ending would have been simply: 'Four years after the attack on Pearl Harbor which killed over 3,000 Americans, the U.S. dropped two atomic weapons upon Hiroshima and Nagasaki killing over 100,000 Japanese...' That would have been the 'honorable' thing to do.

If you have to watch this movie, watch it as an example of how awful movies can be, even with a budget this big.
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7/10
Bizarre...
8 September 1999
Warning: Spoilers
What a bizarre movie...With a simple plot and standard horror shocks, it still manages at times to be genuinely scary...Or maybe its just the clown that kills people...A mismatched group of schoolkids get bumped off, in a variety of amusing ways, and Lois Lane from the Superman movies gets an axe in her head. However, some parts of it are highly dull and predictable..mmm
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Halloween (1978)
10/10
Chilling
22 August 1999
Quite possibly the scariest film of all time, making Alien and Nightmare on Elm Street look tame in comparison. John Carpenter's soundtrack adds spine tingling atmosphere to the original stalker/slasher movie. The killer Michael Myers is silent and downright freaky. Jamie Lee Curtis screams with passion, and Donald Pleasance gets to say 'pure evil' in ominous tones. Don't watch alone in the dark, or you won't sleep at night.
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9/10
Under-rated
21 August 1999
In the post-Scream world of self-referentiality and Wes Craven guest appearances, its easy to forget what made the horror genre so good in the first place. Thankfully ISKWYDLS is an enjoyable reminder of how horror films can be straight forward, fast paced, frightening and exciting. It may be predictable, and slightly unbelieveable, but its GOOD!! It has a high death count, a good cast and some genuinely classic moments. In ways this is better than the original. Horror fans should definitely see this. Pretentious Tarantino freaks might want to miss it out, but thats their loss. Roll on part 3....
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Aberration (1997)
1/10
Dreadful is putting it gently
21 August 1999
This is in my all time top ten of the worst movies ever inflicted on an unsuspecting public. Aberration is exactly what its title suggests. The plot concerns an extremely unscarey lizard thing that eats someones cat. All the action takes place in a log cabin to try to create that claustrophobic Alien-esque atmosphere, but fails. Then after an hour some mad man in a designer suit turns up with two handguns looking like a reject from a Robert Rodriguez movie. What was supposed to be going on is something only the cast and director's knew. I actually didn't watch the end. Decided to watch Children of The Corn II instead, which was actually ten-times better - that should show how bad Aberration is.
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Modern Vampires (1998 TV Movie)
1/10
Life's to short to waste on this..
21 August 1999
This is quite possibly the WORST film I have ever had the misfortune to watch. What promises to be a funny, gory, vampire movie turns out to be a turgid, badly acted, scripted and directed pile of rubbish. The effects were awful and the plot was...well I couldn't work out what the plot was. Casper Van Dein's performance was one of someone trying to get it over with as quickly as possible. Why films like this are still made and still make money is one of the Earth's great mysteries. Avoid it like the plague.
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Wishmaster (1997)
8/10
Lightweight but fun
21 August 1999
Wishmaster is an uncomplicated horror film, with some silly gory moments and barrels of laughs. The concept is interesting, and the Djinn is kind of scarey if you are about five years old. Robert Englund and Kane Hodder crop up, and Wes Craven gets his name on the box for being the producer. Lightweight entertainment at its best.
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Donnie Brasco (1997)
Superb
21 August 1999
Donnie Brasco is in the same league as Goodfellas; a modern classic. Moving, violent, funny and with some great quotable lines, this is a must see for all fans of Al Pacino, or Mafia films, or simply great cinema. Johnny Depp does a career best turn as the FBI agent that gets involved too deep. Michael Madsen is quietly brilliant as Pacino's mob boss. Worth watching simply to see Pacino wearing a tracksuit and watching nature programs on the T.V.
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10/10
Quite amazing..
21 August 1999
The Hudsucker Proxy is a film that can be watched and enjoyed over and over again. Tim Robbins and Paul Newman are on top form in this bizarre feel-good tale from the Coen Brothers, which is hilarious, moving, and never dull. Jennifer Jason Leigh has never been more gorgeous.
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10/10
Classic...
21 August 1999
The Coen Brothers gangster epic is a film masterpiece with a superb ensemble cast, sharp dialogue and a plot so twisty and turny it leaves your head spinning. Better than their recent films Fargo and The Big Lebowski, Miller's crossing is an under-rated classic...
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10/10
So funny...
21 August 1999
Eddie Murphy has never, and probably will never make a better film than this. Beverly Hills cop is an 80's classic with a tremendous soundtrack, glorious car chases, and Judge Rheinhold and John Ashton fooling around as two dimwitted cops. Makes Lethal Weapon and all other imitations look bland.
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The Faculty (1998)
Superb
20 August 1999
Fresh, inventive, funny, scary, gory, exciting and enjoyable. Kevin Williamson's script and Robert Rodriguez's direction gel perfectly.

Also, this film has the power to make you suspicious of everyone else you meet for about six hours afterwards....A modern classic.
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7/10
Annoying Spielberg Epic
25 July 1999
I must admit I watched this with apprehension, as I firmly believe that Tom Hanks should stick to doing comedy (The Burbs, Dragnet) and Spielberg hasn't made film better than Jaws in his whole career. Anyway, this film is over-rated. Sure the opening scenes are shocking and brutal. This is to show what war was really like, apparently. We all know what war was really like, so who cares?

Spielberg cannot decide whether to make a totally serious war film or a sentimental heart tugging Oscar winner. So he tries both. The comedy of the bumbling interpreter is out of place, and the sniper's amazing shot through the sight of another sniper's gun is plain ridiculous. Even more so, the feelgood ending made me want to vomit.

Bizarrely, Saving Private Ryan seems to be a shameless rip off of the Eastwood/Sutherland/ Savalas classic Kelly's Heroes. The end scenario is too similar to be coincidence, with the tank ambush, the radio music and the sniper in the bell tower. I spent the whole 2 and whatever hours thinking 'its Kelly's Heroes, but without the humour or the superb acting!'

While Saving Private Ryan is highly watchable, it is by no means a classic.

Watch Kelly's Heroes instead.
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10/10
Simply amazing
25 July 1999
The best WWII film ever made, and for all the right reasons. Forget about Spielberg's drawn out, boring, pretentious epic, Saving Private Ryan, and go straight to Kelly's Heroes. Excellently acted and scripted, genuinely funny, exciting and repeatedly viewable. Superb soundtrack and a mindblowing ending. Treats war as it should be treated: something to make a mockery of.
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6/10
Whats the big fuss??
24 July 1999
Cannot see why this film is rated so highly. Sure, its watchable and nicely inoffensive, but its not really about much, and nothing really happens. Just a film about a bloke going to prison. Somewhere along the line I think I must have missed something, because I can think of at least a hundred better films. Saying that, Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins are flawless, though the latter's best film will always be the Hudsucker Proxy. (Which incidentally is a better film.)
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