Reviews

The Mole leaves other "reality shows" like Survivor or Big Brother for dead.With its highly addictive combination of mystery, excitement, and viewer involvement in trying to figure out who is trying to sabotage all the missions, it's not to be missed.The missions are elaborate and very clever, and it's almost too long to have to wait between each weekly episode!The second last episode, in which the mole was finally revealed, and so was the winner and loser, and the final episode, where all of the mole's sabotage techniques were revealed, were simply brilliant.This really shows what monotonous viewing Survivor and Big Brother are.

This film is a perfect target for such accusations as poor acting,poor script and poor directing,but people have to understand that these films aren't made to win academy awards.Do people really imagine that a film about bikini-clad girls on a beach is going to have an in-depth,intelligent script?Films like this are made for an hour and a half of fun,nothing more,nothing less.Melinda Armstrong is fantastic,by the way!

Inane dialogue,hilariously bad acting,cheesy music,bad special effects and Van Damme's over the top facial expressions all combine to create one of the most enjoyable unintentionally funny movies I have ever seen!We get our first unintended chuckle literally five seconds into the film with the opening narration;"First there was the collapse of civilisation,anarchy,genocide,starvation,and then when it seemed things couldn't get any worse we got the plague.The living death,then we heard the rumors that the last scientists were working on a cure that would end the plague and restore the world.Restore it?Why?I like the death!I like the misery!I like this world!!!"Absolutely hilarious!

If anybody out there knows why the characters in these awful,Hollywood-drenched 'horror' movies are always too stupid to be alive,please let me know.Could anybody possibly be as stupid as the people in these "new age" horror movies?These days,horror movies are never about scares,they only exist to showcase the'latest hit from the charts'and the latest star from the cover of TV Hits;in this case,Sarah Michelle Gellar(gee,she can't act,I wonder why she was cast?)The release of Scream was possibly the worst thing to happen to hollywood since Sam J Jones.

Intense Perversions is a no nonsense X rated porno.It wastes no time with the usual flirting scenes,it's just hardcore action from literally the first minute to the last!And because it's rated X,you see way more than you would with your average R rated porno.A absolute classic...well,I think so anyway!

Horrible acting,badly set-up scenes,laughable situations and clich'es from possibly five hundred other movies all combine to create this turkey.But what do you expect from a film with Sam J Jones(Flash Gordon)as the hero and Linda Blair as co star?

This has to be one of the most poorly put together and cheap looking shows on television.Even the titles look cheap.Tim Ferguson tries desperately to liven up the proceedings,usually by saying things like"What you are about to see is the absolute lowest of lows,the bottom of the barrel.Now if I say it is bad and disgusting,that will only make you sit closer to your TV,so I'll just say it's good wholesome entertainment."The clip was of an enema competition.After the clip he just sat there with a blank expression on his face.

Most of the clips he shows are very tired and worn out,and they get worse every show.I advise you watch"Unreal TV-Adults Only".The format is nearly identical,and most of the clips are just as tired and worn out as Unreal Ads,but it is much more risqu'e.

V.I.P is quite possibly one of the most poorly made television shows in American history,right up there(or down there)with"Days of our lives",it has dialogue as lame as"Paradise Beach",action scenes that rival"Power Rangers"in their poor quality and storylines that are such obvious setups for gunplay(like a millionaire putting a price on his own head for anyone who can murder him,and then revealing to the team that it was all a setup to find out if they are"worthy adversaries")that are just laughable.And of course,Pamela's acting is just as convincing and believing as always.

However,V.I.P is strangely entertaining in a very dumb way.I just had to sit through the whole episode to see how much more stupid it would get.And it was fun!

All in all,V.I.P is definitely not a show that is intended to be taken seriously and thus does not try to hide its lameness.Its roots are clearly planted in fantasy,nothing more.

I didn't think Taxi Driver was as brilliant as it was made out to be.I had geat expectations of this film,as other teamings of Scorsese and De Niro such as Goodfellas,Raging Bull and Casino had been cinematic masterpieces,so obviously I thought this would be right up there with them.However,it just seemed to be a little empty.The storyline was a clich'e.The old 'Loner gets sick and tired of crime so he decides to clean up the streets'theme is something I would expect of a 'Death Wish' movie but not a Scorsese film.

There are many unanswered questions,like where does Travis go after the end of the picture?Back to life as normal?That is what is indicated,but it seems a little hard to believe after the events midway to the end.And we never really know why Travis decides to turn vigilante.We know he hates the 'scum' on the streets but we never learn why he takes the huge step of devoting his life to killing them.

The music in the film does not live up to its reputation.I have read in film reviews that Bernard Herrmann's score is"chilling" but it is nothing more than saxaphone music that sounds like a love theme from countless other films. The always fantastic De Niro is brilliant in his role,but his character would be more believable if he was more'depressed'.Here we have a guy that is generally a loser.He really doesn't have a life,lives day to day with little change, makes little money,and in the end,finds he has no reason to live.But he isn't totally convincing that he is depressed enough to want to commit suicide.

Taxi Driver does have its brilliant moments,but the film as a whole doesn't qualify as one of Scorsese's masterpieces.

Body Chemistry 2 adds nothing of interest to the series,or rather this entire genre.A totally sleep inducing movie,you will find yourself overusing the fast forward button.The front cover says"Uncut version" and promises it is"even hotter than the original",even though there are no sex scenes whatsoever(no,I'm serious!)This movie contained one good line:"A person's sexiest organ isn't between their legs,it's between their ears!"

I saw Copland at a movie marathon,along with Spawn and Scream 2.The only reason I reluctantly sat through it was because it was the first film shown of the three.If it had been the last,I would not be writing this review because I would have walked out in the first ten minutes.

And what,can somebody please tell me,was Stallone trying to prove when he demanded minimum wages for the film and gained 40 pounds of fat?To shake off his Rambo image?That he can be a serious actor that goes to great lengths to make his character as believable as possible?No,that he was trying desperately hard to CONVINCE us of those things.

The film as a whole is a complete waste of time.You get the feeling that all the time and money spent on this flick could have been used much more constructively.And you also get the feeling that all the talented actors in this film(Robert De Niro,Harvey Kietel)should have been somewhere else,making another movie.

There is really nothing good to say about Copland.It fails in all departments.Suspenseful action,interesting story and believable acting.

An interesting thing that happened at the the movie marathon that is worth noting is that as soon as Spawn began(the second movie)someone yelled out"THIS is a BETTER movie!"I think everyone in the cinema agreed.

There are just too many great things to say about Jerry Maguire to put in one review.It is simply one of the greatest films ever made.It is touching,funny,clever,thought provoking and brilliantly down to earth.The acting,directing,writing,plotting,dialogue and editing are perfect.There is no need to comment on single scenes from the movie,as they are all brilliant.A film experience I will never forget.

Paradise Beach is the most poorly acted and written Australian show of all time.I remember thinking how bad it was when I was eleven years old.It's like "Days of our lives" but this is much worse.The dialogue and situations are just laughable.At times you would swear it was a send up of soap operas.

This movie is not Jackie's style at all.He is born to play cartoonish,witty characters in far fetched situations like in "Winners and Sinners",but this is just a cold,heartless,clich'ed,dull and boring American action movie.I once read the opening sequence hailed as being"a rival for James Bond films for elaborate thrills".The scene,which is a speed boat chase,is one of the most boring and dragged out action scenes I have ever seen,and the outcome(Jackie beind lifted from a helicopter out of the boat and it crashing into the other boat and exploading)can be seen coming a mile away.I also once read that Chan considered this one of his worst movies.I agree with him wholeheartdly.The ending title song(called the protector)is the worst title song I have ever heard.(those that have seen it will know,as long as they didn't switch off by then).And by the way,who exactly is he protecting?

Any show that steals as mercilessly from "The Simpsons"as this crap does ought to be banned.Almost every single thing in the show is stolen fron The Simpsons.The baby is a complete rip-off of Mr.Burns with its psychotic rantings,and the constant flashbacks to 'humorous' occurences are obviously a simpsons rip-off.

The commercial for the show promises"a cross between South Park and The Simpsons".To even compare this shambles of a show to either of those great cartoons is a crime.The Simpson's greatest power is its ability to take any situation and make a joke out of it and it be funny for loads of different reasons.South Park isn't as funny or as clever,but its intended stupidity is often extremely funny.Family Guy doesn't even scratch the surface of either cartoons,and if it ever achieves either's cult status,I will be very amazed indeed.

Of the 3 late night talk shows,Leno's is definitely the worst.The problem is,he rarely comes up with any jokes himself,unlike Letterman and O'brien,who have the rare gift of being able to think of things to add to their material on the spot eg-the monologues and it actually be funnier than their given lines.Leno,however simply does not have this ability,and it is the writers you admire and not the host,which shouldn't be the case,as the most important thing is to love the host.

Another thing the show suffers from is that it feels more like a comedy show than a talk show.There are far too many unfunny comedy sketches and obviously set up occurences for it to have the unpredictable feel of Letterman,which thrives on its spontinaity.It tries much too hard for laughs.A very annoying and unnecesarry part of the show is the black band member(I can't remember his name)that is really only there to let out huge and put on sounding laughs at everything Jay says and to be the butt of a lot of Jay's jokes.

I don't hate the show,I mean if there's nothing else on,I'll watch it but it comes nowhere near its two competing talk shows.

A fairly ridiculous martial arts movie.I don't know if you would even call it martial arts as the fighting consists of a lot of special effects eg-leaping up and clinging to a ceiling,but most of the fight scenes are just preposterous,like blades being shot out of someone's back,limbs being cut off and blades coming out of them and guys that can make explosions by just pointing at things.The dialogue is laughable,with lines like"You're really crappy!!"which sounds like a funny thing to say in ancient Japan.It is clearly meant to be a comedy with lots of Monkey Magic-esque gags,which fall completely flat.

This could have been a great movie if it was treated more seriously,as the filmakers had some great costumes,sets and especially actors,but the end result is complete boredom

A dreary, threadbare comedy with some of the worst comic timing I've ever seen, but for some reason VA4 is still watchable. The best thing in the movie is definitely Julia Parton as Malithion, who is delightfully comical and over the top and is so gorgeous she virtually lights up the screen. Watch for the two prison guards!

An unbelievably lame attempt at a parody flick,with all the obligatory sight gags,except here they are completely lame-brained and usually have nothing much to do with anything,and most of the verbal gags are just plain desperate for laughs,like when a woman enters a room dressed completely in red and the narrator(putting on an extremely irratating french accent)calls her "the woman in blue".Hilarious.The rest of the jokes pretty much follow that form,simply changing key words in things and they are all completely stupid.Also,the usually fantastic Billy Zane is no comedy actor,and looks very uncomfortable here.A thoughrouly boring movie.Parody flicks are among the cleverest comedies ever made and if you want a good one,try Spy Hard,Naked Gun or Airplane but definatly not this!

Movies where one actor plays two different characters at the same time usually fares best in comedies because if it looks ridiculous,and it usually does,at least it will get a few laughs because of its corniness.It is not wise,however to do it in action movies,which are mostly intended to be taken seriously and is an even unwiser decision to use Jean Claude Van Damme as the actor playing them.

The results are laughable.The scenes where the two Van Dammes appear on screen "together" are very badly done.They usually comprise of Van Damme talking to an actor in the other "Van Dammes" clothing and hairstyle,with only a side view of their face.The actor chosen to play the other "Van Damme" looks absoloutly nothing like him an they couldn't even get the hairstyle right.There is a 'brief double' shot in which Van Damme actually appears as two people but he has no lines!The entire focal point of every scene is the two Van Dammes so you get completely distracted from the story,not that it really has a story though.

Van Damme again played two characters in "Maximum Risk" but was wisely not shown in the same shots.The film makers must have seen Double Impact.

A real art film,with bizarre music (especially the recurring music from the film's opening),great camera movements,and a film making technique that was truly ahead of it's time-you'll grin knowingly when you see the final scene.Unfortunately,the remake adopted none of the film's weird and bizarre stylings,instead only going for a straightforward reworking of the story.

The first time I saw this it was a fantastic movie experience for me,as I was a bonafide action fan at the time,now seeing all those action films I used to love,I see them differently,particularly the lack of logic.This is a perfect example.Like why are the two men at the front of the train smiling when they crash head on into an oncoming train?Did they have a death wish?Oh,that's right,they're evil.They're happy their scheme is working.And how come in one scene,it is dark outside,but the scenery in the background from inside the train is still day?And why does Seagal's gun reload itself and put itself back on the table after Seagal unloaded it and dropped it?Oh that's right,he's Steven Seagal.He has to look high and mighty all the time and the simple task of bending down to pick something up might make him look small for a second.

Also,the action scenes are ridiculously fake,especially the end where Bogosian is shot,falls out of the train then gets the strength to climb up a helicopter ladder,then he gets to the side door of the helicopter and Seagal shuts his fingers in the door,then Bogosian falls into the explosion from the train below(a very careless backdrop job,with the flames shuddering)and even when he is falling completely ingulfed in flames,he manages to shout"Ryback!!!".Is it really that hard to make movies with a little logic in them?!Seems like it.

I saw this ages ago but I still remember how realistic,gripping and thought provoking it was.The character of Joe,a social misfit and race driver wanna-be was brilliantly portrayed and is still probably the best performance I have ever seen of somebody truly at the end of their rope and the director gives the film a very nightmarish look.At first glimpse,this will come across as depressing and off-putting,but the performances are really brilliant and the film overall is magnificent.

I couldn't believe this movie didn't have a "goofs" section because it contains one of the clumsiest bloopers I have ever seen.A girl(I didn't learn her name) is to be picked up by some guy(his name either)for the prom.He shows up in his car,however he has unexpectedly brought some of his friends,one of which is sitting in the front seat.The girl gets in the car and sits in the front seat.However,in some shots the guy that was sitting between the girl and the guy isn't there!I can understand the usual movie bloopers like boom mikes visible and props being re-arranged and little things like that,but not when it is something as obvious and essential to the scene as that.That said,the movie is totally unoriginal,predictable and totally void of scares.

The worst Halloween of all.This is more like an episode of "Dawson's Creek" than a real horror movie.The director was obviously keeping in mind that the widest audience for this film would be teens.He was probably right,but that unfortunately cost the film it's life.It's full of those incredibly stupid "in-jokes" like Michael Myers getting kneed in the balls and then going cross eyed(ha ha ha), a completely inacurate portrayal of teens(they're not all party animals)and the same old predictable "shock" scenes.And when are film makers going to learn that horror movies with large hollywood budgets don't work?

Not that surprising really when you consider it was directed by the the inept Steve Miner,who was also to blame for the atrocious Friday the 13th part 2.