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Reviews
Lipstick Jungle (2008)
Whoa! This was worst then I thought!
I watched this show hoping that it would be fun, edgy, and smart. If you consider poor acting, shrillness, and a "been there, done that" feel any of those things. Well, good for you! I have seen better chemistry and friendship is a Vagisil commerical. Brooke looks like she wants uncomfortable with everyone but the cat. Kim looks like she trying to go her best Cynthia Nixon impression and is failing miserable. Lindsay Price seems like she screaming, " Why couldn't I be on Cashmere Mafia?" The worst part is the humor! There is none! If I wanted to see a bunch of hags complain about there existence, I would turn on Lifetime. This show is so melodramatic! The viewers aren't stupid, we understand it's not easy to have it all. But, do you have to be so upset all the time. I would love to see these harpies have to work in a field picking berries for three dollars an hour. Then they would have something to cry about! Save yourself the time. Either rent some Sex and the City or watch Cashmere Mafia!
Birds of Prey (2002)
No soul, just greed!
This could have been one of the greatest sci-fi fantasy shows in the history of TV. The mythology of Batman mixed in with the X-men, add three parts Charmed, sprinkle with Buffy and boom...success! They forgot to add fun, humor, pathos, good writing, and high-quality special effects! The actresses were talented, the premise was even better but they just could not get it right! Why, why, why, why? The producers must have been asleep at the wheel! What really got me upset was how Mia Sara was so wasted in the stories. She gave a 100 and 10 percent and got zero! Her beautiful chocolate locks were replaced by spiky blonde hair. Her innocent from Legend and Ferris Buller's Day Off suppressed. Such potential, poured down the drain! The real weak link was Dinah! The actress that plays her is a very talented singer, athlete, musician, and painter. I guess she spread herself to thin when she decided to be an actress on top of all that! Another weak link was the lack of chemistry between the Huntress and the cop! Geez, are we really suppose to believe they would be a couple! I mean there is a seven year age gap, yuck! Poor Shemar Moore, a Daytime Emmy winner that was us not ready from prime-time! Ashley Scott has talent, I mean Spielberg put her in A.I, how bad can she be!? You can tell this show was put together because WB wanted to appease the creators of Smallville (also producers of BOP!) They wanted to make sure they didn't get bored so they approved this waste of paper. Never loss a cash cow is probably what they thought when they aired this crud. Oh, and to make sure to keep women 18-49 happy! This show had no soul! It was truly a demographic creation. Dc should slap itself for trying to make a quick buck of this! Oh, they probably wanted to make sure that there was another "girl's superhero drama" in case Charmed bit the big one this year! Again, no heart what so ever! Such a shame! Oh, well it's just a TV show (or was!!)
Band of Brothers (2001)
Excellent
This mini-series is possible the best thing I have ever seen on television! The writing is crisp and intelligence. The special effects and cinematography are outstanding. The acting is full of depth and power. Every elements comes together to create a masterpiece.
The best parts of this mini-series is how it is laced with sly touches of humor. Yet, it shows you the drama and the heart of these soldiers so it doesn't come off as whimsical or inappropriate.
The person that deserves an Emmy for his work is Scott Grimes. His portrayal of Donald Malarky is colorful, enriching, and shows his true range. Not that the other actors were bad or anything. It's just to me, Scott Grimes is the center jewel of this crown.
I urge you to watch this program! It's not just history it's a study of the human condition. Simply brilliant
Dying Young (1991)
Julia at her most boring!
In 2000, Julia Roberts finally showed her acting chops in the box office hit, Erin Brockovich! If your looking for a Julia movie..rent EB! Stay the heck away from a bland, little movie called "Dying Young"!
Dying Young is a boring movie devoid of thought and depth! The "romantic" scenes seem odd and pretentious! If decide to watch this movie ( please don't!) you will notice that everyone looks miserable. Not because it's a tragic love story, but because their under contract and they would have gotten sued if they left!
Rent "Love Story" if you want a sad and weepy ! Not this wishy-washy, tedious movie!
Valentine (2001)
Un-break my heart
Here is a recipe for a dumb, horror film!
1) Take four helpless ninnies without a brain cell between them!
2) Make sure their pretty, God forbid a killer attack plain looking people!
3) Add a bunch of beef-cake, steroid popping men!
4) Add a killer that mysteriously is un-trackable!
5) Watch in disbelief as the killer magical hides dead bodies that no body can find!
Sprinkle with a tepid flashback of injustice, poor acting, bad character development, and pathetic dialogue!
Watch for two hours
And bingo, Two precious hours lost forever!
Enjoy!
Things You Can Tell Just by Looking at Her (2000)
Things you can shove up your......
This movie was the most depressing, creepy, and boring movie I have ever
seen! Where did they conjure these characters from? Did the gates of "movie hell" open and release all the self-pitying ninnies into one annoying project?
Despite the wide array of talented actresses, the script and poor construction bogged down this movie. The jumping from story to story left you with a feeling of emptiness. The drama was way, way, way to heavy! A good storyteller knows that even the most intense drama must be balanced with subtle touches of humor. And, the ambiguous ending which with skill and craft can help a project. Was like the rest of the movie.... pathetic.
If you want a good "cry" movie, watch "Come Back, Little Sheba" or "Beaches." They may be sad, but at least you get a well established product!
This is a slap in the face for woman kind!
Vibes (1988)
Cheesy, 80's Fun!
This was suppose to be a silly adventure, not Dr. Strangelove!The movie is simply a fun movie to watch on a rainy day, or at a party with friends. Let go of your brain and enjoy the quirkiness of it all.
I loved Cyndi Lauper in this flick. She made the whole movie! No other actress could have pulled off the right mixture of cute, funny, sass and sex appeal then her! Cyndi has a real talent for comedy. She could have been the next Imogene Cocca if given the chance.
Remember to relax, laugh, and don't analyze.
3 out of 5 stars!
Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995)
Pointless
What a waste of 2 hours of my life! I was hoping for a story that
would inspire, intrigue, and captivate me..instead I was left depressed and empty. I was hoping that the movie would make me laugh but instead I felt like vomiting. Thank God I saw it on HBO, or I would have wasted 8 bucks. I was disappointed because I was unable to connect with the cast. Their was not one likeable person in this movie. You will wish you could drop an a-bomb on all of them. Even the misunderstood "heroine" of the story made you want to run away.
The worst part of the movie was how it tried to be realistic! Yeah, every school lets students write graffiti on other student's lockers (not).
Another problem was how vulgar the movie was! They were talking about rape and sex every three seconds.
In a nutshell, this movie was horrible, it's not even a movie to see if you want a good cry. ( i.e, Comeback, Little Sheba)It was annoying, repulsive, and unwholesome!
I give Zero out of 5 stars!
The Mummy Returns (2001)
Bury Me Alive!
The Mummy Returns sucked! This piece crud has been made over more times than Cher's body. The ONLY reason I was not totally bored with this movie was because I could count ( and laugh at) the number of movies the MR ripped off! The movie even had to rip off Star Wars. Did you see the part where the kid was talking with the mummy? Was that not cheesy? , the black mask, the sinister voice, eeck..I wanted to crack up! Oh, and since when did ancient Egyptians fight with sais? Boris Karlof must be rolling in his grave. Overall would rather jump in a pyramid and by buried alive than see that overblown "movie" again. Go lord, "Seinfeld" had more plot!
20 out of a possible 100!
Night Life (1989)
Not bad
This movie is by no means Shakespere material, but compared to the other stuff on the market..it's gold! I have to admit I enjoyed this movie because it was offbeat yet not total out of the atomsphere! Scott Grimes ( a favorite actor of mine!) is what really made this movie. If this movie had been done with a "pretty boy type" like Johnny Deep, it would have lost all value! The charecter of Archie, had to be played by a guy that had an unconventional look yet was not butt ugly! Scott was prefect for this role. As for the rest of the castings...perfect! Acting was very good, it helped move the sort of slow start of the movie to flow better. Everyone was prefect for their role. Sure, the story was a bit slow, but the directing ( especially for a horror flick) was subtle, quirky, and unobtrusive. I really like this movie, esspecially because of the mind tricks it plays on you in the second part of the movie! I urge you to rent this movie!
Mystery, Alaska (1999)
Not Bad!
Mystery Alaska was a a movie that could only be described as...."okay!" I admit the only thing I liked about the movie was it had two of my favorite actors in it ( Russell Crowe and Scott Grimes.) The movie just seemed to be lacking substance. Even with vets like Bert Reynolds it seem "incomplete."
Poor David E. Kelly! He tried to make this movie a two hour Northern Exposure , but he failed. All the great things of N.E ( the subtle brillance, the unique charecters, great dialouge and the over-the-top charm!)were not present. Over all this movie was a man's fantasy flick with a way over used plot device ( an under dog sports team..oy!)
I don't mean to get off of a tangant but I wish that a talented actor like Scott Grimes could find a really great role! The guy just dosen't seem to have any luck finding one. Maybe this up-in-comming HBO miniseries, Blood Brothers will finally give him a juicy role!
Mystery Alaska gets a 40 out of a possible 100!
Boxing Helena (1993)
A soap opera you can skip!
Boxing Helena was a piece of Hollywood tripe that wanted to be an artistic movie about a man's macabre attraction with a woman. You were bored to tears watching Julian Sands whine about how hard it is to not have Helena. Through out the movie you just wanted to reach into the screen and slap Julian Sands. I found myself screaming at my television " Get over it you loser!!!!"
The worst thing about the movie was how you were hoping that you would see something scary and twisted. Instead you got artsy-fartsy pseudo-psycho babble.
Bill Paxton was another notable flaw in this stale movie. His acting was horrible. He looked unwashed and unappealing. His performance came off as naive, uninspired, and total phoney.
In the end the movie was too one-note, bland, and "soap opera" like. Gosh, no wonder Kim Basinger dropped out of this picture!
I give this movie a 5 out of a possible 100!