chthon2's Reviews

Phone Booth (2002)

5/10

30 July 2003

Warning: Spoilers

The premise of this film is interesting - a man is caught in a phone booth by a sniper - but it just doesn't work. Like 'Liberty Stands Still', another movie that failed with the same premise, the movie has little action and rather flat dialogue, and this is coming from a guy who really doesn't care for action films. I feel a bit bad saying that, since I really can't think of anything better, but it's not my movie, so it isn't my job to make it better anyway.

Colin Farrell is an interesting person: an actor who is both good and overrated at the same time. Considering that most young actors his age are practically painful to watch, seeing Farrell display a range of emotions through his facial expression is refreshing and reassuring. He's not great, however; many people tend to gush about him a bit much. He's still young, and although he is good, it doesn't seem that he's gotten over that "I'm trying so hard and it will break my heart if people don't like me even though I pretend I don't care what people think" attitude yet. I guess that's not his fault, since he isn't as experienced as other actors yet; it's just that some people say he's going to be the next great leading man, and I say: wait. I think he has the potential to be, but only time will tell.

Also, I have to talk about the film's ending. So, this is the *SPOILER* warning here.

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I was very put off by the ending. This trend in Hollywood to have bad guys never receive retribution bothers me. In fact, in many popular films now we're expected to sympathize with robbers and thieves, who are often leading characters. Farrells character is by no means a good guy, but Sutherland should not have gotten away. He had no right to do what he did. I just had to say something about that.

Aside from that, the film is adequate. They didn't do as well as they could have with the premise, so I would say it's an average film.

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Fight Club (1999)

6/10

Overrated and trite.

30 July 2003

I do not understand why people seem to like this film. To me, it really just looks like a shallow whupass movie made for trendy fruits. Most of it focuses in illogical sex and violence which really don't seem to have much of a purpose. I'm glad this didn't sell too well here in the states; it's good to know that most of America isn't like people in Hollywood. Brad Pitt, as usual, seems to just be reading off his lines and Ed Norton has lost all the flame he had in American History X. Just a pointless, brainless mess of a movie. One of the most overrated I have ever seen, *ever*.

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The X-Files (1993–2018)

Jolly good show.

30 July 2003

I think that at this point, everyone knows about the X Files. Even if you're not into sci-fi, you know about this show. And what a jolly good show it is. Mulder and Scully are both so deadpan, it's practically funny. The writing for this was always fresh, too.

I think it was probably about time for the show to end, though. I'm sure no one wanted to be stereotyped as those characters, and besides, it's best to go out before the show gets stale. Jolly.

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Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

Flashback!

30 July 2003

Boy, does this bring back memories. I saw this in the theaters back when it came out. What a movie. This is one of those completely impossible kids movies that defies every standard of what a good movie should be, and yet, I like it anyway.

I would write more and make this a more informative review, but there really isn't much else to write. I mean, it's Adventures in Babysitting. Just watch it.

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One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

Wow.

30 July 2003

McMurphy is a convict who feigned mental illness to get out of working in prison. Upon arriving, though, he finds that life in the mental ward is not all it's cracked up to be. The staff seems to care little about the patients, perhaps even resenting them. He comes into conflict with the big nurse, who is intent on controlling the patients like puppets. McMurphy takes it upon himself to alleviate the situation.

This is a great movie, but it was very different from the book. Chief Bromden was originally the main character throughout the entire book, while in the movie, he only becomes the primary character near the end. The book was also filled with Bromden's bizarre hallucinations, which don't seem to come into play here.

Nevertheless, Jack Nicholson was totally rad as McMurphy. This is definetly one worth owning.

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Earth vs. the Spider (2001 TV Movie)

Interesting.

29 July 2003

I watched this last saturday afternoon along with a host of other unheard of B movies. It was alright. I like to see anything with Dan Aykroyd in it, and he was pretty good in this. I almost wet my pants laughing at some of the scenes in this movie; I really do hope it was meant to be funny. This will make a great episode of Mystery Science Theater one day.

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Sealab 2021 (2000–2005)

I love it.

29 July 2003

This is such a ridiculously funny short cartoon. I think it's better that it's not a full half-hour; the format it has now seems to fit better. You have to stay up real late to watch it, but if you're into faster-paced humor without those annoying laugh tracks, you will probably like this.

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The Powerpuff Girls (1998–2004)

A great cartoon.

29 July 2003

Powerpuff Girls is about the Powerpuff Girls (Bubbles, Buttercup, and Blossom), who live in Townsville and save the world from evil bad guys with names like Mojo Jojo and Fuzzy Limpkin. That's right, his name is Fuzzy Lumpkin. I mean, how cool is that?

Hanna-Barbera have been churning out good cartoons like this for decades, and this show does their legacy justice. I will watch Cartoon Network until the day I die.

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Whose Line Is It Anyway? (1998–2007)

Good, but...

29 July 2003

When you re-do something, you usually want to live up to the standard. This is funnier than 99% of the shows on right now, but still not quite as funny as the original. I'm a huge Drew Carey fan, but he just can't quite beat Clive Anderson as a funny host. I also love Wayne Brady, but I think they give him too many stereotypical black roles here. I guess that's because he can dance better than the others, but still, it's the principle of the thing.

Otherwise, the shows golden. On it's own, it really is a hilarious show. Too bad it only ran half as long as the original.

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Bio-Dome (1996)

Don't complain.

29 July 2003

This movie has Pauly Shore in it. You all knew what you were in for. So, quit complaining about the movie. What did you expect, Shakespeare? Look, every Pauly Shore movie is about seeing a loser stoner guy irritate intelligent people around him and somehow either cause their downfall or change their mind about him. I just summed up most of his movies right there. If you didn't already know that, then remember it from now on.

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Airheads (1994)

What did you expect?

29 July 2003

This is a movie with Brendan Frasier, Steve Buscemi, and Adam Sandler playing three heavy metal guys. I would elaborate, but I think I just summed up the whole thing right there. It is by no means a bad movie; just dorky (kind of like me). Trust me, you'll get exactly what you expect. Take that any way you like.

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Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Why is everyone taking this so seriously?

29 July 2003

This is a cheesy movie for people who play video games. I don't understand why some people adamantly insist this movie should never have been made. It's cute and entertaining. It doesn't stay completely loyal to the game storyline, but Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo are perfect for these two roles. Worth watching if you see it on TV.

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Encino Man (1992)

It's a caveman movie.

29 July 2003

Pauly Shore digs up Brendan Frasier in his backyard. Brendan Frasier is a caveman. A cool caveman. Antics ensue as they find themselves in ridiculous situations and still manage to have a happy ending. The end.

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Whose Line Is It Anyway? (1988–1999)

This made me pee my pants.

29 July 2003

That's right, I said it. I normally wouldn't be this honest, but this is the internet, so no one knows who I am anyway. Mike McShane said something about a German U-boat once, and I was already laughing so hard, that did it. I couldn't hold it in anymore. Luckily, I was watching it alone in my room at the time, so no one saw (this was when I was still in high school and in my parents house). I don't see how you couldn't laugh at this show. To do improv is a truly hard thing, but these people pull it off. One of the greatest shows EVER.

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Better Off Dead (1985)

The exact stereotype of an 80s teen comedy.

29 July 2003

Better Off Dead is about Lane, a depressed loser (95% of teenagers) whose girlfriend leaves him because, well, he's a loser. He tries to find ways to kill himself until Monique, an exchange student, changes his outlook. All the while, he must prepare to ski against Roy, the token high school jerk.

This movie started so many cliches it's not even funny. Many people don't even realize that a lot of jokes which seem overused now started here. South Park even recently made an episode that was like this and every other teen comedy in the 1980s. You can be seeing this movie for the first time and still recognize many plot elements now used ad naseum. A good early film for John Cusack.

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The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

Yes!

29 July 2003

Buckaroo Banzai is a totally radical musician who rounds of his band and a team of dudes to fight off the evil red lectroids, led by John Lithgow, who I suspect really is an alien. I have seen this movie over ten times and it never gets old. The material isn't genius or anything, but it's a cool movie. It reminds me of Transformers ans G.I. Joe and other things from the 1980s for some reason.

It's nice to see John Lithgow, Christopher Loyd, Vincent Schiavelli, and Jeff Goldblum in one movie. Four really good guys there. And I couldn't help but notice that Jeff Goldblum looks exactly the same now as he did twenty years ago here. I wonder how he does it.

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The Shining (1980)

The best version.

29 July 2003

These are prime examples of Jack Nicholson and Stanley Kubrick at their best. There must have been a majorly good vibe on the set of this film, because the finished product is fantastic. If you haven't seen this movie yet, then rent it. I don't care if you don't like to be scared, watch it anyway. At least for Scatman Crothers. God, I love that guy.

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Happy Accidents (2000)

8/10

A chick flick I actually liked.

28 July 2003

Ruby Weaver, a person who has made bad choices in the boyfriend department, thinks she's finally found a decent life partner in Sam. That is, until he claims he's a time traveler from the future. She plays along at first, but Sam's stories become increasingly weird, and Ruby questions his mental health.

This was such a cute little movie, I decided to by the DVD. The two lead characters were actually entertaining, unlike the cardboard cutouts in most romantic comedies i've seen in the last few years. Brad Anderson is a talented guy, and i'd like to see what else he's directed now.

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Solo (1996)

Don't take it too seriously.

28 July 2003

This was an interesting little B film. Mario van Peebles is a cyborg with a capacity to learn and have independent thoughts. The film is rather predictable, but on a weekend afternoon when there's nothing to do, it's nice to watch. This is the kind of thing you can find a lot of problems with if you analyze it, but if you do, you're really being too serious about it.

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Good Luck (1996)

7/10

Hilarious!

28 July 2003

Ole is a blind ex-NFL star. Bern is a crippled dentist who tutored Ole in math. And together, they're going to go white water rafting. That's right. It sounds ridiculous as hell, but it's a hysterically funny movie.

How this didn't get wide release, i'll never know. If they had cut out the brief nudity in the beginning, which doesn't seem to jive with the rest of the film, this probably would have brought in families with young children. Compare this to the drek that passes as comedy in Hollywood, and it really doesn't make much sense. Hines and D'Onofrio work better together than most duos i've ever seen.

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Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law (2000–2007)

Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law!

8 July 2003

Another interesting late night cartoon short. I first saw the episode that was the dual Flinstones/Sopranos parody. Hanna Barbera keeps throwing out great material, and much of it, like this, will never have a wider audience. That's kind of sad, but at the same time, kind of good, too. It makes it more special, to know that only a small group of people are watching this.

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Booty Call (1997)

It was cute.

8 July 2003

Warning: Spoilers

Tommy Davidson and Jamie Foxx want to nail Vivica A. Fox and Tamala Jones. The thing is, the two of them can't even seem to get that right. After running around all night trying to get protection, trying to get the right kind of protection, and then getting shot...just watch the movie.

This was an alright film. Jamie Foxx's character (the "Germaican") seems like a completely incompetent human being, too over the top to be real. He provided many of the funny moments.

Some things I didn't get, though. The part where Tommy Davidson gets shot is horribly edited. What we see is an assailant dropping the gun, it goes off, richochets off a lamp post, and then we see a short (about 1 second) clip of someone getting shot in the leg with no sound. It then abruptly cuts to the four characters in a vehicle on their way to the hospital. It took me a few minutes to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Also, I have to ask...Lysterine? Why did Vivica A. Fox's character have to be named Lysterine? Geez. Aside from that, an alright movie.

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Dexter's Laboratory (1996–2003)

Radical!

8 July 2003

This really is such a creative show. And not just original, but funny as well. Each episode has some sort of hilarious sequence that leaves me rolling on the floor in laughter. This kid is so ridiculous and yet takes everything he does so seriously at the same time. A top notch cartoon.

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The Drew Carey Show (1995–2004)

Drew Carey: everyman.

8 July 2003

What I like about this is that Drew Carey is such a normal, C-average underachiever. It's such a nice change from all the other comedy shows out right now. I normally don't like sitcoms, but I make an exception for this one. The whole cast is made up of comedians, and it shows. Here's a guy whose life is one long losing streak, just like most people's (you know this is true). I love it.

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Ren & Stimpy 'Adult Party Cartoon' (2003)

Yep.

1 July 2003

Johhny was right. Ren is still an a-hole. Stimpy is still a retard. I'm not quite used to this new version, as it is a bit more gross than the earlier version. I am sure, however, that it will start to grow on me with time.

Interesting fact: there was a novel written without ever using the letter E. Five bucks for the person who can guess it's title.

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