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Black Bird (2022)
Jimmy is the worst profiler ever
Well well well, it started well, but it finished like crap. Got so disappointed with Jimmy. I know it's a true story but come one, take your job seriously man! You act more tough when you are in front of the useless Italian mafia than in front of Larry. I'm sure 99% of the population would be better at getting a confession out of Larry's mouth.
About the ending, he has a full map in front of him which will be SENT to the exact ADDRESS of THE family. Why not say to the FBI to just intercept it? Instead of drawing some blurred one on a table ?
Kudos to the Italian mafia, who was more like an old man telling stories and never doing anything.
I know it's a from a true story, but pleaaase try to add some interesting stuff in it! It's boring, slow, and the acting of many actors is horrible.
I do not recommend.
While You Were Sleeping (1995)
Cheesy
If you're looking for a nonsense, cheesy movie, go for it. Otherwise, do something else, do some knitting, cooking, hiking, sleeping, and many more things in "ing" that would be better than this movie.
I do not recommend.
The Place Beyond the Pines (2012)
The place beyond Boring
At first sight it was interesting. A good casting, a good trailer, some nice OST. Buuut, the script guy decided to go on a lone mission and ruin everything.
The movie just stops after 30 min. The rest is boring and without any much interest.
At least Ryan succeeded something with this movie by meeting his wife.
I do not recommend.
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Predictable and overrated
Overhyped show for CW teens. Don't trust other reviews.
Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)
Life sux
Sad story of a young woman who was forced to believe with time than its only power on life is her virginity and her eyes. This is a reality, this happened since the beginning of humanity and it still happens.
Buuutttt, why start the movie in Japanese then switch In English? Why is it so dark? Add some light, we can't see sometimes! What was good things in the movie? The kimonos? The good dialogues? Yeah not much. In fact the story can be resume in 2 sentences. And moral of the story. it's ok to marry a woman you met when she was 9, as long as she is major now. Maybe that's what inspired Mr Woody Allen?
So if you don't find your soul mate now, just wait, she's maybe not born yet.
Good Time (2017)
Why?
I get it Cannes festival. Indie movie and all. But why do all the scenarios have to be so messed up? Yeah the close ups to Robert Pattinson face, the 3 min close ups to his brothers, the empty scenes that are supposed to be artistic. We got it, it's like a disease to all Cannes Festival.
Be let's talk real, who is enough stoopid to being his handicapped brother to a bank robbery? I first thought it was some smart move, but nooooo. It was some just stupid. Obvisouly the plan was bad, the poor brother did bad, and Pattinson did everything wrong to het back his brother.
And how in the hell can you say "love you" to your brother and cannot even recognize him ?? Bro, that'd hurt me in the feels.
And then, it's just an escalation of "trying to fix the situation", but obviously it's just making it worst.
The worst thing is that it could be good, because the main character is smart, we get attached to him and the continuity is well done. Buuutt come on indie movies, don't over due every things ! Try to cut the artistic crap and make a real scenario.
I do not recommend
StartUp: Buyout (2016)
Could be better
Seriously so much forced plot in here. The FBI woman was so annoying and the fbi guy could not see that bigggg knife in the floor when she is not handcuffed anymore?
And I am so happy for the fake geek woman from stanford. Hope the plot will not be so stupid to let her get back the money. Make it more realistic Hollywood!!
The Devil All the Time (2020)
Good movie
I am surprised by the acting of Tom Holland. Saw the spiderman movies he done and would never thought he would be capable of that. I am more disappointed by Pattinson who was not the greatest fit for this role..
Anyway it's a nice movie, well directed and with good acting. Missed it with all the stupid things Netflix usually proposed...
I do recommend
Trainwreck (2015)
Did someone laugh at least once?
Pointless, no need for long sentences to say that it was horribly not funny.
I do not recommend
I Feel Pretty (2018)
Sexist movie
Yeahh obviously the kind of movie that wants to deliver a message with humor with bad jokes and a stupid scenario? The same trend as any movie of its type. I will let you guess the type of ending...
And yeah, because women only think about appearance and are incapable of great things if they don't have a body positive attitude?
I do not recommend.
Paranormal: The Myth of the Naiad (2020)
Bruhhh
Mannn, so many stupid things. Don't know if it's the scenario or just the realization that is super bad. Why would the guy go get the skeleton in the lake?? How can the 3 packs of cigarettes a day guy can stay 5 mins in the lake like nothing? How does the guy not think about saving his brother? Where is the skeleton then? How can the doctor can stop be crazy by magic? How can the wife be sad about his dead husband when she just wanted to stick a pike in his ear ?
Don't know. So many questions. So much incoherence. I don't understand the rating. WHAT YOU DOING IMSB
Paranormal (2020)
Low budget overrated netflix show
If you are looking for a scary series, you'll be disappointed. It's watchable, and since you know it is from a novel, you can excuse some bad plots.
It would have been much better with a real Hollywood budget (especially for FX) and a better wig for Maggie.
Also the main actor should take some classes. The guy has the same face, same emotion, same things in all episodes...
Water for Elephants (2011)
From Cornel to this?
Your parents died from a car accident, they wanted their son to have a great career like they could not have. They sacrificed their own good for him. You could give your best at one of the top university, in a great depression, and be what your parents wanted you to be. But, nooo. This guy prefers to jump in the first train he sees and finishes in some circus where he would find an elephant that understand the same language as him?
The rest is just some bad acting, bad montage, and cheesy lines. Not even a better love story than twilight.
I give it a 2 just for the elephant, because I like elephants.
I do not recommend.
Mother! (2017)
Definitely in my top 10 worst movies of all times
Do not watch it. Seriously it's is bad as hell. Is it a horror movie? A thriller? A comedy? I have no idea. Yeah I got the religous meaning of this. But it is so badly done. I can't believe they managed to gather good actors in such a bad movie. Really a shame
The Queen's Gambit (2020)
Overrated
Some narsisticand overconfident girl that plays chest. She cries when she loses and smile when she wins. It's mostly like a Shonen where most of the story is predictable. The plot is basic, repetitive, and do not focus on interesting parts.
It does not deserve a 1, but because there is only 10, here we are imdb.
Young Adult (2011)
Bad, bad and badder
Don't watch it or you will finish depressed like the protagonist. Be more clever and watch something that deserve your time. I made the mistake, and I wish Netflix would pop up reviews of theirs movies before proposing them.
Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019)
Is cannes festival still relevant?
I feel like every time I watch a movie nominated to the cannes festival I get frustrated by the plot and all. I won't say much? Just don't watch it.
Blue Ruin (2013)
1 just for the hype
I cannot believe the number of super hyped comments here. Were you all high on something while watching this? Fortunately it was only 1h30. Because that was one of the simplest plots of all times. You could have make it in 30 min and save some of this low budget movie. It should be something like a 4, but I need to compensate the overhype so I make it a 1.
There is nothing much to say about the movie. Pretty straightforward, I would not recommend.
Vampires (2020)
Bad bad bad
Very bad. Don't even watch the trailer it's a waste of time.
Busanhaeng (2016)
Last train to mediocrity
I don't understand the reviews here. Do people came to watch teenage girls in skirts? Why are the ratings so high!? Definitely in my top 3 worst "horror movies". I cannot believe how stupid actors are. It's all full of unbelivibly stupid decisions. So many inconsistencies. And bad acting. Even the make up are bad. Please, if you like coherence and real horror movies, do not waste your time on this.
The Invisible Man (2020)
Don't watch this
I was a bit hyped by this movie at first. But I clearly stopped being hyped after the first 15 min. This movie is so bad. The music is annoying, the scenes are toooo longs. Like seriously, we already know the invisible guy is here, we know something will happen, be original in the scripts! Don't be like in all horror movies.
So many scenes are totally stupid. The scene in the hospital, she cuts herself, she can break a 1billon$ suit with a pen, and all the security guards are so stupid to come 2 by 2 and be useless, while the woman is watching the scene without using the gun she has in front of her ! Even when there is no more cop...
The friend 6" bodybuilder cop with a gun is beaten by some skinny 5" nerd with no weapon. Does this suit give you super power or this is all stupid?
The ending is so predictable! We knew she was about to do this when she left the room...
More to say. But just, don't watch this.
I do not recommend.
Uncut Gems (2019)
Definitely not a gem
If you like chaos, non sence, stupid script and bad scores. You're gonna love this. Otherwise, don't waste a minute.
I do not recommend.
The Captive (2014)
The director kidnapped me for 2h...
The synopsis has potential. But it was tooootally destroyed by the script and realization. No logic. We jump from time to time like back to the future.
So disappointed of the acting except Ryan. The mother is like the worst. The detective is also not very good and is good in her dress.
I'm done with this comment and this movie.
I do not recommend.
Black Mirror: Rachel, Jack and Ashley Too (2019)
Stoopid too
Was it black mirror? I thought it was Disney channel. I waited the kicker for an hour and got nothing. It was the most useless episode of all black mirrors series.
I do not recommend.
The Haunting of Hill House (2018)
Long and stupid monologues
This is the worst and stupidest endingung I have seen in a while. It has started pretty well, but since characters startres to talk more than 5 minutes in a row to say some stupid and useless and pretentious thing about their life and not one cares. It just does not respond to allllllllll the questions we have in the series. Because, let's say it, it has a lot of mysteries. But they screwed everything with the ending. Which could have been so much better.
Now I will spoil, the dad is the stupidest person in the show. He does not even talk. I mean you see some ghosts, your wife wants to kill you, she wants to kill her kids, and you stay, you don't do nothing and just say you can fix it. Ok why not. Ohh and how did he sxrew his hand in the fan. Come on, the scar was almost at his elbow, and on wrong, it most a very good fan to hurt someone like that. I mean he almost lost his hand and said to his kid, oh it's ok it's not that bad. 2 things, the character is a superman, or the makuop artist wanted to do something fancy.
Also about the ghosts, why do they so that? I mean they are dead, the crazy girl don't anything. Except make sleep in a touch. The tall guy is the most useless ghost in the show. He does not add any value except making pre adolescent kids scared.
Oh now I'm tired about my comment. Hope you found it useful. Have a nice evening.