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johnlewis2000
Reviews
Babel (2006)
What a disaster
There's only one sin in cinema. It's not making a bad movie---it's making a boring one. There's little to find redeeming in this movie. The plot is plodding, the cinematography is generic, even the music is barely noteworthy. A thin and less-than-intriguing connection to all the characters involved makes this less a movie than an exercise in patience. The unanswered questions (What was the difficulty in the marriage? What was in the note?) are hardly thought-provoking. It seems more of a pretentious affectation. There's no real payoff in this tripe, no real twist that makes it all seem worth the time you'll commit to this film. At the two hour mark, I was begging for an ending or death. I got neither.
Empire Falls (2005)
Stellar cast with less than stellar material
If not for the all-star cast, this disappointing miniseries would have been unbearable. Ed Harris and Paul Newman are spectacular in their roles, but it seems most everyone else is underwritten or extraneous. I'm still trying to figure out if we're supposed to like/hate/tolerate/feel sorry for Helen Hunt's character. The main disappointment comes with an ending that feels rushed and unfulfilling, which is especially frustrating since we're sitting through 240 minutes of material. And as someone from a small town with unique accents, I laughed at how it seemed everyone in the town had different accents.
Like many movies based on novels, this one doesn't live up to the source material.
Teenage Caveman (2002)
Direct to Video was never so bad
Ok, here's the inside scoop. Did you see Stan Winston (creator of Terminator and a million other movie creatures) in the credits? That's because Teenage Caveman and some other characters created by Winston are actually action figures the old man created in the past couple of years. What better way to sell these figures than to make a crappy low-budget, poorly-scripted pile of trash video? Words can't describe how bad this movie is. Some movies are so bad, they are funny. This movie is not one of them. This movie is so bad it's maddening. Oh, wait. It has naked young girls? Yeah, rent it for that and you'll be even more frustrated. The "screenwriter" is actually credited with writing an episode of "Law and Order:SVU" That would have to be the worst episode in the history of television if it's anything like this movie. This guy owes me money for renting this pile of crap.
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
Lynch Perpetrates Another Fraud
Some directors take 2 and a half hours to tell a story, David Lynch takes 2 and a half hours to piece together scenes with "clues" and his trademark oddity, but there's never a story. No plot. No progression of the characters (unless you find revealed delusion a "progression"). It amazes me how anyone can call Lynch's garbage "art", but if beauty rests in the eye of the beholder, so be it. Lynch's movie and TV work in the 1980's came off as "avant garde" and "alternative", fine. 20 years later, work like "Mulholland Drive" comes off as a 2.5 hour David Lynch masturbation piece. It's embarrasing. I've finally seen the movie that takes my top spot as the worst ever. At least the people churning out "Godzilla" and "Rodan" weren't passing them off as "art".
The Exorcist (1973)
Still Horrifying After All These Years
After watching the new DVD Version of "The Exorcist: The Version You've Never Seen", it's understandable why this movie continues to creep you out of your seat more than a quarter-of-a-century later. The new effects and music cues add upon the original version and the "famous" Spider-crawl puts this movie over the top--especially Ellen Burstyn's reaction before you see what will happen. Excellent acting. The only drawback of this DVD is William Friedkin's narration (should you choose that option). He adds little about the actual movie, but rather he tells you what's happening on the screen throughout the movie. Don't expect a lot of insight on the making of the movie. Stick to "The Fear of God" special on the anniversary edition. Anyway, I watched this movie at home alone in broad daylight, and it still packed a scary punch. **** Four Stars!