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danielmullin
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The Leftovers: International Assassin (2015)
Garvey Goes to the Gulag
Garvey heads to the gulag to get kills and head back to the game. He shows very good form by racking up a fair few kills without taking much damage at all.
Dune (2021)
A truely devious lick
There is no doubt in my mind that this film has pulled off one of the all time greatest devious licks. Just the way its able to subtly moisten you up and then actually ram it in you is insane. Awesome expansion of the Star Wars universe.
Game of Thrones (2011)
Gud show
Doesn't get good until season 8. I wasn't really a huge fan of this show but I stuck with it and omg it was worth it. Season 8 was a perfect season and made up for the some what mediocre previous 7 seasons. If it wasn't for season 8 completely saving this show and being one of the best seasons of TV ever, I probably would've only gave this show a 6/10 but season 8 was just so amazingly good I have to give it a 10/10.
The Pursuit of Happyness (2006)
Great Kid Cudi Biopic
The 13th song "Pursuit Of Happiness" from Kid Cudi's 1st studio album "Man on the Moon" deeply captures Cudi's essence and pure emotion hence, I think it is the perfect title for this Kid Cudi Biopic.
It is strange how this film didn't actually focus much on Cudi's rap career at all, but heck these crazy Hollywood directors like to try new controversial stuff. Overall, great biopic of one of my favourite artists.
Whiplash (2014)
My take ....
I found the whole drumming aspect of the film to be quite clear symbolism for the war against breast reduction surgery. The cinematic parallels between the intense drumming scenes and surgically removing big bouncy boobies is uncanny and is clearly Chazelle's way of expressing the opinion, that he likes big juicy honkers. The fact that Chazelle is willing to be brutally honest and not shy away from the subject matter is honestly empowering and I am internally grateful to have seen someone address this in film. As Abraham Lincoln once said "God gave you big badonky donk boobies, why would you want to make them smaller?" this quote directly captures the message that Chazelle was attempting to convey with this film.
The French Dispatch of the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun (2021)
The Adam Sandler aspect was hilarious
I caught this film at the festival a couple months back. The first two thirds seemed like the usual wes Anderson wackiness. But coming in to the final act they start to bring the Adam Sandler aspect to the film all the jokes about "wishing Adam Sandler was in the movie" started to pay off, and then without spoiling too much .......... We finally get Adam Sandler. The Adam Sandler pay off was AMAZING !!! It was built up years ago with the wedding singer and happy Gilmore and Wes Anderson's unique ability to capitalise on that was insane. In conclusion, if you find your self thinking "I wish Adam Sandler was in this movie" don't worry, you will be pleased !
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
Ever looked down at your own diarrhoea?
Picture this it's a Tuesday night, raining outside, it's time for some dinner, looks like your having tacos, you gobble em up, a couple hours go by and you start to notice some stomach pains, then the pains get a little bit stronger, then OH OH ITS TIME!! U rush to the toilet and let the brown explosion begin, shirt comes off, you begin to sweat, it's practically brown liquid at this point, your there for about 25-30 minutes, after your finally finished and the sludge has finally stopped erupting from your cheeks, you look down and view the dark brown stinky mush that fills the toilet bowl, that is what this movie is.
Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994)
This movie left me addicted to heroin
This movie is so awful I turned to heroin to try and clear my mind, find some peace and forget about what had happened in this horrible movie. I would wake up everyday and say "today's the day that I don't think about how bad interview with the vampire is" and then sure enough I would find my self think about it, so I would reach straight for the needle roll up my sleeve and inject. It's a horrible reality, but it is the truth, Interview with the Vampire left me addicted to heroin.
Sound of Metal (2019)
This movie gave me depression
Welp I'm depressed. Seriously tho, do you want to be depressed for 2 hours of your life ? If yes go ahead and watch this movie, you'll love it.
Pet Sematary (2019)
Felt like I took a dookie but there was no toilet paper !
This movie honestly just left me feeling like I had taken the biggest most monstrous log of my life, and when I went to wipe my cheeks, I turned and came to the disastrous realisation that there was no toilet paper. The film made me feel as if I would have to do that awkward clenched bum cheek walk out of the bathroom to acquire the much needed toilet paper before I return to the toilet to finally wipe what had now become crusty and stale. You will know what I'm talking about once you see the movie. Thank you.
Casino (1995)
Ooohhhhh yeeaahhhh
Just Scorsese with De Niro and Pesci all ready got me wet, now make them mobsters and I'm seriously about to bust, but then you throw em in to Las Vegas aaaaaarrrrggghhh 💦💦💦
The Departed (2006)
Ooooooh yeah papi, your a bad boy Martin
Omg yes yes give it to me Scorsese, yes just like that mmmmmmmm yes oh yes. Omg Leo, Jack, Matt, Mark and Mr Sheen, oh my so many big talented men I don't know if I can take it.
The Crow (1994)
It's bad
Yeah he died filming it, doesn't mean it's a good movie. It just ain't a good joint.
Dark City (1998)
Kill Me Now
Acting is terrible, plot is stupid, dialogue is laughable, effects are shocking, vibe is depressing, action scenes are horrendous. Why do people like this movie ? I honestly have no idea it is soooooooo baaaaad.
Mustangs FC (2017)
Mustangs carried by jasper
This show makes me happy, especially the character of jasper. To be honest If it wasn't for jasper I don't think this show has too much going for it but no need to worry because jasper is their delivering laugh after laugh. Long live Jasper long live Mustangs F. C. Also the actor that plays jasper is really cute 😏
Superman & Lois (2021)
This show is not good
Just another cringe and cliche teen drama and oh btw superman happens be the father of the annoying whiny kids.
Palm Springs (2020)
Literally straight faced this entire movie
There must be some mistake..... they forgot to make it funny! Have I accidentally watched some special directors cut of the film where they remove all the funny jokes or something? I didn't laugh once in this awful movie. Andy Samberg a pre cringe guy on the low. But most importantly Cristin Milioti literally the least likeable character in a movie ever, I hated her and hoped she would die for real. No seriously it's actually physically impossible to laugh at this movie I DECLARE THAT THIS MOVIE IS UNLAUGHABLE !!! And OMG the cringe was unbearable I felt it running down my spine it was actually painful !
Slender Man (2018)
Omg kill me
The people that made this movie must have just brainstormed all the possible ways to make a terrible movie and then combined all the ideas together to produce this piece of garbage film. Would rather tug my meat with a cheese grater then rewatch this nonsense excuse for a movie
Suicide Squad (2016)
Bruh no wtf is this nonsense
This movie is so horrible it's not funny. I want to absolutely bash every single character in this movie in the face with a bat. I mean even the rather attractive Mrs Robbie couldn't save this terrible movie. Jared Leto also usually a pre g actor man but his joker made me wanna tear my eye balls out. Absolutely dreadful experience watching this movie.
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Burn em all !!
This movie pre dang enjoyable to watch and that's on the lord. Mr Waltz such a good actor almost found my self rooting for the dang Nazis. Anyway this movie pre dang awesome Tarantino and brad just unloading the fun times wit dis one.
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Not bad I guess
Yeah I guess it's alright, pretty good even. I liked those two hit men guys.
Terrifier (2016)
Omg pls no pls
So I wasn't gonna absolutely blast this movie cos I assumed the budget was like 10 dollars but after further inspection I have come to learn that this films budget was a whopping $800,000. Bro what could they have spent that money on I could have made a better movie with a Halloween costume and my IPhone camera. Watching this movie is like having your eyes burnt out.
Lost Highway (1997)
Nah bruh
Bruh lynch can sugma balls. This man so dang strange it ain't funny. Like excuse me mister maybe make a movie that isn't absolutely stupid and complete nonsense. I mean maybe writing plots that actually make sense would be a nice change haha just a suggestion bro. Seriously tho wtf it's like he just filmed a bunch of random nonsense and cut it together and claimed it was a movie, You can't fool me bro y'all trippin. This movie SUCKS.
Goodfellas (1990)
I'd let Scorsese, De Niro and Pesci lube me up and give it to me
This movie pretty good, not bad, fairly descent watch I guess, good enough movie to pass a couple hours.
Clown (2014)
Omg pls no
The main character turns into a clown and kills people. Sad to see such a deep and complex plot wasted but it's true it's sadly not that good. I know we would all expect a movie with such a brilliant and revolutionary plot to be a groundbreaking movie but unfortunately it does not deliver. All joking aside this is honestly a darn horrible movie possibly the worst I've ever seen, this movie is a disease, you would have more fun having massive diarrhoea then viewing this disgrace of a film. #AvoidAtAllCosts