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Bite (2015)
Gross Body Horror Goodness
I seriously enjoyed this gruesome horror. The protagonist's slow transformation is skilfully done and the effect on her apartment is truly gross -- you'll never be able to look at caviar in the same way again.
I really enjoyed the themes around female fears of pregnancy, of fertility, and it was interesting to see that approached from the woman's perspective.
Boo (2005)
Nice Practical Effects, Shoddy Acting and Script
I likely would have stopped watching this train-wreck if not for the awesome practical effects. The gore was the only thing which made this film watchable. There's some pretty gruesome special effects on display here.
The dialogue is cringe-worthy, and a lot of the acting feels like they roped in a bunch of first year drama students -- people unable to elevate the feeble script. The film unfortunately takes itself too seriously to fall into the 'so-bad-it's-good' category of genre films.
Deadcon (2019)
Vapid and Soulless with Few Scares
When films try to tackle internet-based horror they either do it well or they crash and burn. This is a crash and burn.
It feels like it's been made by someone with no real understanding of the kind of people the film is supposedly about -- like someone whose teenage daughter is a big fan of someone on Youtube and who has listened to her try to explain them. It seems like the film is trying to aim at some deeper truth about the industry, but the characters are all so bland it's impossible to actually care.
The audience for this film seems to be those same undemanding preteens shown running about knocking on doors in a desperate bid to meet their favourite internet stars.
The ghost lore feels very reminiscent of Creepypastas or even the lore from Five Nights at Freddys, again feeling like it's trying for popular appeal without first understanding the things it's borrowing from. The derivative nature might have been forgivable if just one character had remarked on the similarity, like 'Oh, spooky, this is like one of those creepy internet stories' or something.
It's boring, lacks any self-awareness and is generally all surface no substance. And the surface isn't even that appealing. It's not really worth watching in my opinion.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
Missed Opportunities But Still A Decent Watch
I love underwater horror. It's full of terrifying possibilities, but films that do the concept justice are about elusive as a real-life kraken. So, whenever I see a water based horror flick on Netflix I lower my expectations, lower them again, and settle in to watch. It turned out to be a good decision in this case.
Cave diving is an inherently terrifying prospect. With regular diving all you need to do is go up and you'll find air eventually -- sure, you'll also die of decompression sickness if you do it wrong, but at least the option's there right? One of the things you always hear about any kind of diving is how dangerous it is when you don't know what you're doing. So four untrained teenage girls, only two of which have any previous diving experience, venturing into a newly discovered cavern was always going to end up in disaster. Add in a blind cave dwelling shark and you have this movie.
If you go into this movie expecting realism you will be sorely disappointed. For dramatic effect kicked up silt is somehow able to cut off radio communication between the girls (none of whom have any sort of earbuds with which to hear each other with anyway). 'Is that a Great White?' one of the girls ask, moments after it has been established that the shark has somehow evolved in the same manner as other factual cave-dwelling species, with no eyes and an eerie ghost-like colour scheme. No, it is not a Great White anymore. And apparently, not much of a shark either. The writers make no acknowledgement of what senses sharks actually use to hunt, making supposedly tense scenes inadvertently hilarious as the girls attempt to hide. The whole 'heightened senses' premise is better off being ignored for the gimmick it is.
The CGI is lacklustre and definitely detracts from what should be scary scenes. Give me practical effects any day. It's a definite shame because the shark design is pretty spooky in itself. The CGI also means the shark kills are rather unsatisfying, lacking the destructive, gory power they should have.
More successfully frightening is the sense of dread as air supplies dwindle and potential exits fail to pan out, as tunnels get tighter and light less plentiful. For me the creepiest death is the drowning scene -- the acting could've been better but it's infinitely more horrifying than the blink-and-you-miss-it ordeals of the shark victims.
There's a thin vein of dark humour running throughout the film -- certain deaths are subtly foreshadowed and the reveal of the final shark set piece definitely made me smirk. Without it I probably would've found the film more of a bore -- it actually made it more enjoyable for me than the original 47 Meters Down, and easier to forgive its many failings.