Reviews

"Lady Avenger" is another movie from the legendarily bad David Decoteau shot for the home video market. The films stars Peggie Sanders (who has a topless scene) as prison escapee Maggie, who hunts down her brother's murderers. She also stumble upon a drug conspiracy and nips through her wife-beater throughout the majority of the film.

The acting is what you'd expect from a Decoteau film...it doesn't exist. However, the acting by Sanders is laughably bad and she never comes off as "tough" or "deadly". Her facial expressions (or lack there of) are quite amusing. The tag-line is classic; same with the film's poster. But "Lady Avenger" is a wannabe Rambo/Death Wish that never lives up to the great VHS cover (like most 80's tapes). Boring chase scenes and unexciting shootouts.

On a positive note, there are two Michelle Bauer sex scenes in the film and pretty cool flame thrower death scene. Overall, it's what you expect from an 80's straight to video flick.

"Lady Avenger" features gang rape, slit throats, car explosions, women in prison, Michelle Bauer stripping, a bad stepfather, and a cool flame thrower scene.

Wow, this film was painfully bad. I literally got a headache.

"Wild Man" is an obscure little action film shot on video by an 80's porn director that features the least appealing and most wooden lead hero of all time. Who the hell is Don Scribner and why does he speak like a robot? He delivers his lines in monotone as if he's half asleep. The plot revolves around some ex commando named Tommy Lee who is selling drugs. Enter Eric Wilde (Scribner). An ex CIA operative that has a personal vendetta against Tommy Lee for stealing his wife and teams with a sexy news reporter (the always gorgeous Michelle Bauer) to stop him. Along the way Wilde uses his supernatural ring to bring himself back to life after being killed and has sex scenes with 80's porn stars Ginger Lynn Allen and Michelle Bauer. This film is one of the most boring films I've ever seen. The one liners are stupid and the villain is so over the top it's more annoying than amusing.

I rented this to see Michelle Bauer bare the goods...and she does. The best scene in the movie involves her in a one piece working out in a gym with Ginger Lynn Allen. Can you say, "Cameltoe"? If you love Michelle Bauer than pick this up if you can find it. Other than the T&A, there are no redeeming qualities in this film whatsoever. I'll watch anything to see Michelle in a thong and topless...even if it means sitting through some of the worst films ever made. Her acting is pretty good in this one too. Easily the best actor.

"Wild Man" features cripples getting hit by cars, native American rings that bring people back to life, a sexy workout, a gang rape, car explosions, torture in the dentist chair, and magic casino coins.

Be prepared to watch multiple viewings of "Lost Highway". It's not that the film is confusing, the film is just that fascinating. You'll want to watch it again to see the narrative from a different angle or maybe catch something you missed. Possibly one of the most abstract and frustrating films ever made...and that's a compliment. Lynch is a great director but with "Lost Highway" he made his masterpiece. A truly intoxicating film, it not for every movie goer. It's a little out there for even "Twins Peak" standards.

The plot revolves around a sax playing husband Fred (Bill Pullman) who begins to suspect his wife is unfaithful. He soon discovers her past is connected to pornographic filmmakers and she mysteriously turns up dead. Sentenced for her murder, the husband supernaturally changes into a completely different person over night in his jail cell. Once released he meets a doppelganger of his deceased wife. What follows is the twisting and dark road of the lost highway.

It's a film that seems to be playing on multiple levels with several different interpretations being valid. Is it all a fantasy created by Fred? Is there something more sinister and supernatural occurring? Are we witnessing an alter version of events that transpired (Fred's discovery of his wife's betrayal)? It's all how the viewer interprets the narrative. A masterpiece of story telling and film making. Great performances all around. And Patricia Arquette in this film...Holy hell, she has to be the sexiest woman ever put on screen! See this film...with an open mind. Like watching a dream.

Kevin S. Tenney wrote and directed two of my favorite 1980's horror films "Witchboard" and "Night of the Demons", so I had high expectations for "Witchtrap". Sadly, I was left disappointed.

The plot concerns a group of psychic ghost hunters who team up with some skeptical cops to investigate a haunted mansion nick named "Slaughter House". "Witchtrap" features some of the worst acting I've ever seen. The acting is more wooden than a coffin. The only entertaining character is the lead played by James W. Quinn. He has some pretty funny lines and delivers a solid performance(not hard to do considering the rest of the cast's lack of talent). Yes, Linnea Quigley has a small role but she's wasted and killed quickly. However, she does show off the goods in a nice full frontal shower scene before she is offed.

The soundtrack to Tenney's films are usually pretty solid and memorable. Not the case with "Witchtrap". Also the gore is minimal and the kills take place mostly off screen.

"Witchtrap" features an interesting "Notice" screen before the film begins telling you that "Witchtrap" is NOT a sequel to "Witchboard". Why this was necessary, I don't know. The guy on the cover of the VHS box is Malfeitor from "Witchboard" though...and Quinn also starred in "Witchboard"...ah, screw it, who knows. This notice is also on the back of the VHS box as well.

"Witchtrap" features death by shower head, "Piggy" from "Night of the Demons", possession, an exploding head, human meltdowns, and a serial killer magician.

Till next time horror hounds and fright fanatics, beware the darkness...

"Murder Weapon" has a very misleading cover. The film looks like it's suppose to be some kind of action film, like a female lethal weapon. But "Murder Weapon" is a low-budget slasher/thriller that centers around two recently released mental patients (who also happen to have connections to the mob) who invite their ex's over for a party in their mansion. One by one the ex's are killed off by a mysterious killer.

If you've seen any of David DeCoteau's work ("Nightmare Sisters", "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama") than you know what to expect. Lots of nudity and low budget production values. You get two sex scenes in the first 10 minutes. Linnea Quigley (who also earned a producing credit on this convoluted thriller) stars as ex-patient Dawn. Linnea strips nude through out and has a cool sex scene where she seems to almost ride a guy to death. She spends most of film's run time walking around in a leopard swimsuit with see through top. The other half of the psycho-duo is played by Karen Russell, who spends the first 5 minutes of the film oiling her body(more annoying than erotic). She spends most the film suffering from narcolepsy and dreaming about her psychologist.

Surprisingly, "Murder Weapon" does feature some pretty nice gore scenes. Heads explode by gunshot, faces get crushed by sledgehammers, broken bottles get shoved into throats. There's a particularly cool death scene (that doesn't make a lick of sense) that involves a hand bursting through a man's chest while he's lying in bed.

The dialog in the film is pretty amusing. The conversations between the male characters are often pretty humorous. The character of Kevin has some great lines. A scene in which Kevin screams like a girl when he sees the killer approaching the car with a pistol had me laughing out loud. I thought after "A Nightmare on Elm Street 2" filmmakers would realize that there is nothing scary about a man screaming like a woman.

Overall, it may be the best DeCoteau film I've seen (strangely, he used a pseudonym). Linnea's nude scenes are some of the best she's done and the gore is wet.

"Murder Weapon" features flashbacks within dream sequences, a sting in the tale ending, Ricky from "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2", a Richard Greico wannabe, leg shaving, and voyeurism.

Till next time horror hounds and fright fanatics, beware the darkness...

Italian zombie films are a mixed bag. Films like "Zombi" and "The Beyond" are classics in the zombie genre. But films like "Burial Ground" and "Zombie 3" are painfully bad. "Nightmare City" is somewhere in the middle.

"Nightmare City" was released as "City of the Walking Dead" in America. A rather misleading title because the zombies actually run. They also attack with weapons (bats, knifes, chains, guns) before drinking their victims blood. So the film gets points for originality and the attack sequences are frantic and exhilarating. But the appearance of the zombies leave something to be desired. Most of them just have charred faces or look like they dipped their heads in oatmeal.

The plot is absent and dismal. It revolves around Hugo Stiglitz running around the city trying to survive the epidemic while some military personnel discuss the situation in a command post. Several characters are introduced and then dispatched quickly by the zombies.

The nudity is on overload in "Nightmare City". Many of the walking dead have a knack for tearing off the blouses of females before killing them. Several zombies even fondle these unlucky victims breasts. One poor gal gets one of her breasts cut off completely. Speaking of the gore, it ranges from decent to bad. A scene with hatchet is memorable and there are some good head-shots.

Overall, "Nightmare City" lacks plot and acting but has a fun and kinetic energy about it. Far better than most Italian zombie flicks.

"Nightmare City" features plenty of breasts, "aerobicide", a zombie priest, eye gouging, a carnival shootout, and a really lame "twist" ending.

Till next time horror hounds and fright fanatics, beware the darkness

"The Prowler" was one of many slasher films released in the 1980's during the 'slasher craze'. But what elevates "The Prowler" to the top of the heap is the impressive and brutal kills created by special effects legend Tom Savini. The killer strikes quickly but the deaths are long and painfully realistic. The film opens in the 1940's and the period piece (cars, wardrobes, dialog) is done rather well. Giving the film a bit of class and scope that other slashers of that period didn't have. The plot revolves around teens being killed off during a dance by a murderer wearing WWII fatigues. A "Dear, John" letter is the catalyst for the slaughter.

"The Prowler" is shot effectively and director Zito does a great jump of building tension. And tension is what separates great slashers from generic slashers. A sub-genre that was heavily produced in the decade. There are quite a few shots and kills that have gone on to become cliché. But at the time, we're quite innovative for the genre. It's a rather fierce and hard hitting slasher. The film has a certain savageness about it that makes it feel nastier than most films of the sub-genre.

"The Prowler" features nudity, death by pitchfork, plenty of red herrings, a nice shotgun beheading, an annoying redneck receptionist, and Farley Granger slumming it up.

Till next time horror hounds and fright fanatics, beware the darkness

First of all let's get one thing straight..."Demonwarp" doesn't have demons or warps. But it does feature an assortment of monsters and enough T&A (and 80's bush) to please any B-movie fan.

I have fond memories of this film from childhood. As a kid, I was genuinely disturbed by "Demonwarp". My brothers and I would rent it from the Ma and Pa video store on a monthly basis. Sadly, "Demonwarp" has not aged well and I find myself bewildered at how a film so cheesy and cheap could have frighten me as a young boy.

The flick revolves around some teens at a cabin who encounter Bigfoot. A vengeful father eventually shows up intent on hunting the beast. But then zombies and aliens pop up and all hell breaks loose.

"Demonwarp", in terms of plot and acting, is all over the place. The gore is below average but it gets bonus points for nudity. Michelle Bauer (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers) runs around topless covered in blood screaming for most of her screen time. There's also a male hiker who's character suddenly appears out of nowhere and spends half the movie running from Bigfoot until Bigfoot disembowels him with a stick(?). "Demonwarp" is a cheap B-Movie made for the video market boom and it does exactly what it was produced to do...entertain. Check it out if you like your horror cheesy with lots of skin. "Demonwarp" was written by John Carl Beuchler (who also designed the creature) and directed by Emmitt Alston (New Year's Evil).

"Demonwarp" features George Kennedy fist fighting Bigfoot, a crazed priest, a shower scene, drinking and driving, Michelle Bauer sun tanning topless, the little brother from "Just One Of The Guys" getting his neck snapped, a decapitation, and the most awkward sex scene ever filmed.

Till next time horror hounds and fright fanatics, beware the darkness