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Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Now you're thinking with 6/10 portals
People complain about the humour in this movie (specifically Kat Dennings' character and her intern), but the humour is honestly the best part of the movie for me. Actually, I think this movie is just overall better than the first one. It feels like something actually happens, the twists work better, and the cinematography, sets and costumes all look better. The familial beats also hit their mark with me, especially with regards to Frigga.
It's not without flaws though. I still can't quite take the fantasy elements all that seriously. They're better than in the first film, though. The villain really does not work. Jane getting infected by the Aether was a weird choice that seems to be there only to force her into the plot. Sif and the Warriors Three have even less presence in this movie. I am not a fan of crazy Dr. Selvig, especially with Iron Man 3 just prior to this taking PTSD after the Battle of New York seriously. I don't like the concept of Dr. Selvig's magic portal sticks, but they were used really creatively in the final fight scene.
Thor (2011)
4/10 dogs big enough to ride
The movie's best moments are its comedy. Everything else just does not really work for me. I can't take the more serious fantasy elements as seriously as the movie clearly wants me to. Everything that happens in this movie feels like it happens way too fast for beings whose lifespans are approximately 5000 years, yet it also feels like nothing actually happens in the movie? People joke about how forgettable the sidekicks are, and they're not wrong. Also Thor and Loki's wigs are not good, and Thor's eyebrows are the worst. And so. many. Dutch. angles. why.
Hawkeye, whom I love, gets the absolute worst cameo in what is probably the best scene in the movie.
It's not all bad. It is always nice to see more Coulson. Seeing people on the opposite end of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s actions was a clever choice. I really like the Destroyer's design. It is also the first installment in the ongoing Thor Smushes His Face Into Glass saga. Seriously, if you haven't picked up on this yet, he does this in every movie he's in.
Odin is the second Marvel Bad Dad™ in a long list of them.
Iron Man 2 (2010)
I want 6/10 birds
The sequel actually has a lot of great elements. Sam Rockwell as Justin Hammer is a blast. Don Cheadle taking over as Rhodey works well; he and Robert Downey Jr. have great chemistry. The soundtrack led by AC/DC is excellent. The action overall is very good, with Black Widow's hallway fight scene deserving special mention. The senate hearing with Senator Stern, making Pepper CEO and Tony's last birthday party are all entertaining scenes. Tony suiting with the chest on the race track is one of my favourite suit-ups in the entire MCU. The best shot in the movie has to be Tony eating a donut while sitting in a giant donut.
Unfortunately there are some not-so-great elements as well. Ivan Vanko, apart from the two lines "If you could make God bleed, people would cease to believe in Him." and "I want my bird." is probably one of the worst MCU villains. I don't blame the filmmakers though, if the behind-the-scenes stories of Mickey Rourke are true. I am also not a fan of the discovering a new element hidden in the expo layout plotline, even if the scene where he makes the element is also pretty cool. Also not a fan of how just putting a new element in his chest somehow immediately cures the palladium poisoning?
Also Kate Mara is in this movie for 2 seconds. Just thought you ought to know.
The Incredible Hulk (2008)
6/10 flash drives swallowed whole
The movie is actually better than I remembered. Telling the origin story with a credits opening montage is a really good idea for this character. There are some serious moments that work well and some funny moments that work well. Unfortunately there are some serious moments that end up being more silly as well.
The movie has a great cast as well. Edward Norton is a really good Bruce Banner and I remember being disappointed back in the day when I heard he was recast. Tim Roth is very entertaining as a villain. Him screaming "IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?" before getting yeeted into a tree is easily the best moment in the film. I wish we got the return of Tim Blake Nelson as the Leader in a later movie, he was a lot of fun in this one already. William Hurt is pretty good as General Ross, although my favourite scene of his is definitely the pre-post-credits scene with Robert Downey Jr.. Not a fan of Liv Tyler's performance and character though. Lovable Pizza Dad just wants to take care of Bruce before Betty comes along and steals him away, leaving him to feed her suddenly ex. And then she pulls the "If you kill him, you're the monster" at the end, despite having no idea if they'd be in any way capable of containing the Abomination.
Iron Man (2008)
A box of 8/10 scraps
The casting of Robert Downey Jr. is, of course, perfect for many reasons and I cannot thank Jon Favreau enough for knowing exactly what this movie needed to be. It is hilarious watching the rest of the cast trying to keep up with Robert's ad-libs. This genuinely feels like a big-budget indie superhero movie and there are very few other movies that hit this tone, and even fewer that do it as well as this one.
The film has one of the best first two-thirds out of any MCU film. The origin story is told organically and is actually a really compelling and necessary component of the movie. Everything from Tony getting blown up and kidnapped to remodelling and testing out his suit is great to watch.
There are so many excellent individual moments and visual gags. One of my favourites has to be Tony staring in horror at a missile with his own name on it. Terrence Howard saying "Next time, baby" and then never being in another MCU movie is also iconic.
Obadiah Stane is sadly one of the weaker parts of the movie. He's somewhat forgettable, except for the "TONY STARK was able to build tHiS in a CAVE! with a BoX of SCRAPS!" line. Kudos to the henchman scientist for standing up to his evil boss and just being like "sorry man, just can't do it" instead of promising to get it done in 24 hours or something.
I also just love how well they were able to take moments from this movie and tie them in with the later movies. It works so well as setup for what's to come without sacrificing its own integrity.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Tom Waits waits in 3/10 bushes
I
I don't get it
What was the point
I am so confused
Tell Me Who I Am (2019)
7/10 bundles of cash
I don't know how the documentarians convinced these twin brothers to share their final revelations on camera, but it makes for a powerful watch.
Annihilation (2018)
9/10 refractions and reflections
Annihilation will hopefully always be one of my favourite movies. Everything about it just works for me: visuals, sound, story, themes, atmosphere.
One of my favourite aspects is the sound. There is one song in the movie that encapsulates its themes really well, and is played several times throughout. Other than that, there is no soundtrack except at the very end during Lena's confrontation with the entity. Except, the lack of soundtrack up until this point implies to me that the unreal and unnerving tones are actually coming from the entity, and Lena is hearing what we are hearing. It just works so well to sell the otherness of the entity even more.
The themes of pain and self-destruction are, while not subtly, really well incorporated into the story to the point where the literal story doesn't even really matter, and it's more about the internal journey that Lena is going through. I really like the movie's message that pain and trauma will change you irreversibly into someone new, but still you.
Maniac (2018)
8/10 whole new worlds
It's a good exploration of mental illness, individual growth, blame, and parenthood. It actually has a really realistic take on all the human aspects, even in such a fantastical setting. Complex characters and a unique world. Great visuals. Great acting. Great music. Just solid all around.
Fyre (2019)
8/10 cheese sandwiches
If you haven't heard about the Fyre festival, this is a great watch. If you have heard of the Fyre festival, this is still a great watch.
The interviewees for this documentary were really well chosen and I'm glad they got who they did. People who were really deeply involved with this project, some attendees and residents of the island really help to give you perspective on every aspect of this fiasco.
The only aspects I would have liked to see more of would have been a bit more of the chaos on the island once the guests are there, as well as maybe some more of the media's general reaction. There's a Hulu documentary as well, but I don't feel like I need to watch that.
Also, wow, Billy McFarland is a total di
Tiger King (2020)
7/10 gay husbands
This whole story is a wild ride from before it starts until after it finishes, no matter which way you tell it, but I'm not convinced the filmmakers told this without some major biases. Certain choices regarding the presentation, especially in the direct interviews where they had the most control, seem a little odd, such as filming them shirtless and toothless; in front of what appears to be a dump; or at emotionally vulnerable times which I'm certain most people would have wanted to be left alone.
I have so many questions I wish the show had explored more. Specifically regarding the tigers: are they okay? Was anyone on the show treating them humanely? What other options are available? Can they be rehabilitated into the wild? What exactly are all the problems with how the big cat owners are treating them? The show doesn't really seem interested in actually talking about the tigers even though it uses them for every filler shot. It's almost like everyone involved just likes the big cats for the aesthetic...
There is also just so much going on in every scene. I wish there were more long shots of just everything lying around in the background of everyone's houses. It would have helped get into the minds of these crazy people even more.
Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV (2016)
2/10 sci-fi Audis
I thought the pretty animation would be enough to hold my attention throughout a film meant to set up a video game I have no investment in. I was wrong.
Why does Audi exist in this universe? This is literally the only question this film left me with.
Love, Death & Robots: Three Robots (2019)
7/10 exploding kittens
One of my favourites from the anthology so far. It's genuinely funny with a lot of great little details, even if it doesn't always make sense, and the ending is a little silly. But I don't think it was trying to take itself too seriously.
Love, Death & Robots: Beyond the Aquila Rift (2019)
2/10 dreams within dreams within dreams within dreams within...
I don't like this one so much. The animation is photorealistic, which, while impressive, actually makes it stand out less compared to the other, more stylised episodes. It doesn't help that the aesthetic is fairly generic scifi as well.
The story is also kind of dumb. I would have liked a bit more depth and detail, I feel like the concept would work better if there was more time to explore it and hammer home its points. As it is, it feels a bit rushed.
Love, Death & Robots: Ice Age (2019)
5/10 rebirths of civilisation
Why doesn't this couple question anything? Is this normal in their world? Are they high all the time? The characters not asking any questions makes me ask all the questions.
It's still kind of fun though.
Love, Death & Robots: When the Yogurt Took Over (2019)
10/10 yogurt cup spaceships
It's dumb but it's the funniest one
I would be ruled by yogurt
I don't even like yogurt
No yogurt, don't leave me, I'm sorry, I can change
Love, Death & Robots: The Secret War (2019)
4/10 dead comrades
Better than Beyond the Aquila Rift, but has a lot of the same problems. Also it would be nice if every episode stopped trying to have a big twist at the end.
Love, Death & Robots: Sucker of Souls (2019)
7/10 pussycats
I really liked the animation. It was genuinely funny as well. I just struggled to get invested in the story, it felt very difficult to take the stakes seriously (pun intended).
Love, Death & Robots: Suits (2019)
5/10 cows
This one is somewhat forgettable. The animation is nice, but the story and concept are fairly predictable. Somewhat fun but not much else.
Love, Death & Robots: Good Hunting (2019)
6/10 dead parents
It has some really good elements and some really bad elements. Overall I enjoyed it but there are certainly aspects I would change. Not the most original animation but fun to watch.
Love, Death & Robots: The Dump (2019)
6/10 piles of trash
It's dumb but it's funny, but not as dumb and funny as the yogurt episode.
Love, Death & Robots: Shape-Shifters (2019)
1/10 dead werewolves
This is my least favourite by far.
Out of all the hyperrealistic animated episodes, this one has the least excuse to be. There is absolutely nothing visually interesting going on. Brown and grey and dark night time scenes, and the only remotely sci-fi/fantasy aspects are the werewolves, who could easily have been CGI.
The story is also really bad. The werewolves are clearly treated as minority stand-in, but can rip apart any of the humans at any given moment? As in, entire battalions of them solo. How did this hierarchy come to be? Also they are still white. Also can we stop glorifying the American military? It felt like the only reason the audience is expected to root for the main character is because he's American, and the villain is Arabic. Which also very much undercuts the oppression theme they were maybe going for?
I don't know, this one is a mess.
Love, Death & Robots: Fish Night (2019)
5/10 primordial ethereal fishes
I really really like the concept of this one, but the execution left me wanting so much more. It was all over way too quickly, and I would have enjoyed swimming with the fishes for much longer than it seemed to want to let me.
Love, Death & Robots: Helping Hand (2019)
7/10 space debris fragments (no but seriously what are we going to do about all the space fragments)
Didn't need to be CGI but anyway, probably one of the best stories actually suited to the short film format. Decently executed with effective horror.
Love, Death & Robots: Alternate Histories (2019)
4/10 alternate timelines
Good idea but really poor execution. I was disappointed immediately by the direction the alternate histories took. They could have been funny without being so unattached to any actual semblance of causality.