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Ulfman5000
Reviews
Unfrosted (2024)
I came in with high hopes
I saw the trailer and I thought it was gonna be wacky and all over the place. I saw the cast and I thought it had to be good. I even thought the first 10-15 minutes looked like it was gonna go somewhere.
But it really started to fall apart and... I don't wanna say it took itself too seriously, but it became a lot more straightforward and got boring. A steep drop off.
I think this could appeal to older audiences who are still into this kind of humor, but this explains why Seinfeld was ranting about "the left" not letting anything be funny anymore. He's just well past his prime. This felt like a comedy from the 90s, and it's 2024. Again - some people will still like that, but I'm in my 40s and I've kinda put this stuff behind me.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: All Those Who Wander (2022)
I didn't want to be the one to ruin it, but plenty of others have
Yeah, it's Alien and Predator vs Star Trek.
Was it "poorly executed"? Was the "plot incomprehensible"? ... What did these people just watch?
It was a highly competent homage. It was a Star Trek episode you've never really seen the likes of. The plot was simple; I don't know what's not to get. They see a problem, think it's gonna be an easy fix, they go down, and it's a horror movie. Cool. Fine.
I didn't think it was all that deep, or even meant to be. I don't think they spent all that much time fleshing out characters, but they did a little. That's fine. That's a good thing.
Personally, I'm not a fan of the "alternate reality" or "excuse to wear costumes" episodes like we had the previous episode. They've always done those episodes, since TOS, and they're always corny.
And I'd seen someone complain about the Gorn not being the Gorn from TOS? The whole point of the Gorn in TOS was that it was supposed to be the ultimate killing machine and it was one of the worst fights in history, so they're trying to rehab the Gorn's image as being what it was supposed to be. Fine by me.
Great episode, the most Trek Trek show in years (I don't hate Discovery, but it's not as good as this), and I'm loving it.
Star Trek: Discovery: Coming Home (2022)
Oooof
This show, overall, is OK. It's not great, it's not bad, it's OK. I liked the build up to the Ten C, I liked the first contact episode before this. And I wouldn't even normally want to comment on an episode, but wow does this one get cringey.
If you can suspend expectations of a realistic conversation, maybe you can do this, but the way they just launch into the particular manner of speech with the Ten C, which is unnatural to a native English speaker... And it just works, as what they were meant to say all along, is awkward. The way in which they just start moving everything forward and the pacing of the next scene is awkward. The surprise twist is awkward. The rousing speech with platitudes is awkward.
I'm trying to not post a spoiler, but watching this with any semblance of expectation for a believable outcome, based on how this plays out, is just not possible. Rough 30 minutes on the tail end, here.
Mandy (2018)
An amazing surprised
I went into this expecting an 80s style grindhouse flick starring Nic Cage. But everyone said it was really good.
But Nic Cage isn't the real star, and this is hardly just a grindhouse flick.
And I don't want to say more than that. Because going in there with little information was a big part of what made it for me.
I will say this - pay attention to the sound design. Not just the music, but that sort of soft/poetic tone to the lone delivery. Everyone sounds great, and it really draws you in.
Detroiters (2017)
Reliably entertaining
It's not the kind of show where you're going to laugh really hard at anything, but it's the kind of thing where you're laughing the entire time. I find the characters likable, it doesn't rely on being overly offensive, and it's fairly clever.
It's something I find myself enjoying consistently. They don't swing for the fences every time. That means it's not going to dazzle, but they don't ever fail. I hope it gets at least 3 seasons.
Hell Baby (2013)
So not everyone's going to like it...
In particular, critics. Critics seem to have a special disdain for movies directed by former members of The State (Michael Ian Black, Thomas Lennon, David Wain), but there's definitely an audience for all of them. Every one of them that I've seen have been fantastic. I take that back, I didn't really like Wanderlust all that much. It does horror parody without resorting to a bunch of random, inane pop culture references. And it seems like the world has forgotten that that's how parody works. The Wayans Brothers and their successors with Scary Movie and all of the others have really run things into the ground. A movie like Hell Baby seems to set things right. And of course, it seems like almost no one's seen this. It's on HBOGO right now, treat yourself.
The Tomb (2007)
In case you weren't aware...
With movie making materials, (accessibility to cameras and editing equipment, etc.) people are making horror movies like there's no tomorrow. They're doing it with video cameras (like this one) as opposed to using film... It's just a lot cheaper. So we end up with a lot of crappy horror movies out there... I mean... Just bad. For being one of these video-based, extra low-budget horror flicks, you can't honestly tell me this was THAT bad. It wants to be Saw in the worst possible way, no getting around that. But for a bunch of amateurs with no budget, come on... This was pretty well made. It set a decent atmosphere, above-expectations acting, (to me, these things are usually soooo much worse), ambitious make-up and lighting design. Come on. This was not that bad. Not great, not good, but it was never meant to be. It's like a college project. If I was their professor, I'd give them an A+.
Drive Thru (2007)
I could tell straight off...
This was about to be one of the most awesomely sh1tty movies ever made. Your generic, run of the mill, horror movie plot - dumb partying teens, the evil clown, and that one dude from Heroes that I hate. But the acting was really pretty acceptable and the script wasn't nearly as bad as you'd think. There was some sort of weird, political subtext that was a bit obnoxious, but it didn't seem to hurt things too badly. The beginning was a bit "Malibu's Most Wanted" for my taste, (ie really dumb wigger jokes) but that passed. All in all, it has some awesomely cheesy moments, and I'd say this is a must see for all fans of really bad horror movies.
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
A classic fantasy movie
I've seen the movie countless times, and I still have a hard time trying to find anything really wrong with this movie. It's a great fantasy movie, based on a fairly realistic reality. I've never read the comic book or novelette or whatever the script is supposed to be based on, so I don't have anything to say, "The ... was better." I'm really not a huge Arnold fan, but he was perfect in every way for the role, in my opinion. I think the character fits him better than anything else he's ever played. I think that especially given the time in which it was made, there's nothing wrong with it in anyway, and no matter what anyone else might say, everyone who worked on this movie should still be proud of it 25 years later.
BloodRayne (2005)
If you set your sights low enough...
Going into this, I had heard nothing but bad. I had heard that it was amongst the worst movies ever. It's simply not true. This is a mediocre/made-for-TV quality flick that is not without entertainment value or interest. It's by no means a GOOD movie, but by expecting the worst, I was pleasantly surprised.
-Some of the cheesiest gore effects since Jet Li's "Meltdown."
-Crap acting, but interesting enough characters
-I, personally, thought the plot was bad, yet enjoyed the story
-Some cool swords
-Billy Zane is always fun
-Kristiana Lokken is still hot