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andersomo
Reviews
Mean Girls (2024)
Unwatchable
This movie was just awful. Unwatchable, really. The girl who played Karen was absolute cringe. Regina's mom couldn't have been any more annoying - terribly acted by Busy Phillips. The girl who played Regina George was so unlikeable - not one redeeming quality. I'll be honest, 30 minutes in and i was continually pressing the 10-second fast forward button trying to find anything interesting or anything that would somehow save this mess - nope. I understand how this production may have worked as a stage musical but there was no reason to make it into a movie - it just didn't work - and the acting was just atrocious.
Nyad (2023)
She's A Pretty Awful Human
I'm convinced that Bonnie Stoll is played by Michael J Fox in a wig. Looks. Facial Expressions. It's eery. But in all seriousness, Jodie Foster, once again, does an amazing job - and so does Annette Benning, but the character is just so unlikeable. She's an ungrateful narcissist and it's utterly painful to watch an entire movie about a person with absolutely no redeeming qualities. Not one.
I'm not sure why this movie was even made. Nyad (not even her real last name) was a habitual liar and a self-admitted extreme exaggerator and the swim was never even certified. Her crew gave conflicting reports and Guinness won't even recognize it. There has been much investigation into the swim and it's been determined that she didn't make it unassisted. I've even read articles that she spent time in the boat. I know that even completely half the swim would still be an amazing feat at any age but just be honest about it.
The performances were good, which is the reason i'm giving it three stars - the story and Nyad herself, however, are just plain awful.
Christmas in My Heart (2021)
The Accent, The Singing, The Horror
I am late to the party on this review. I am watching this movie mid-morning in October 2023 despite the movie being released in 2021. I had to come here and read the other reviews to see if it is just me - Luke Macfarlane is just awful. I generally like him but whoever cast him in this movie and why he accepted the role is beyond me. His accent went in and out and out and in, and even when it was in it was out - just terrible. Many country singers don't even have an accent but manufacture that twang when they sing - think Keith Urban, who has an Australian accent and then sometimes has that country twang when he sings. Taylor Swift manufactured a twang when she sang country. Luke should have never attempted the accent without a dialect coach and you know that Hallmark isn't springing for that. Also, he is an awful singer, not even remotely believable that he is a country star. Those two things were too distracting to even enjoy the movie. The guy pulls off being heterosexual like a champ, but the singing and the accent - not so much.
Also, please stop casting diversity for diversity purposes only. It's okay to have an all white, hispanic, asian, etc cast. Not everyone has a black, white, latin, asian or gay friend. Almost every production and TV commercial nowadays has an interracial couple and a gay best friend, it's overkill and just not believable.
The Middle: Cascadia Guides (2022)
Another Documentary Where Nothing Substantive Happens
I watched this on Tubi so, thankfully, I didn't pay to view it. Lots of unimpressive grainy footage and footage taken at night. Why can't any of these people, who allegedly see these aliens and spacecraft from a stone's throw away (or eye to eye, in this case), capture any decent footage? Odd, because everyone has a cell phone equipped with a fabulous camera these days. Essentially, this is another documentary with lots of people talking but no real evidence. Also, lots of conclusions made without any analysis - e.g., this Terry Lynch guy states that a craft dropped out of the sky and threw up a light which meant that the craft could see a rock formation, known as the "Cascadia Guides" (huh?) and, further, that the encounter led Lynch to conclude that the formation was from whoever or whatever was in the craft - and that nobody else could have made the rock formation (huh?). How do you just jump to such conclusions? It makes absolutely no sense. The rock formation is interesting, however, it really could have been designed by anyone. As a side note to the filmmaker, in reference to the intertitles for the chapter/scene breaks, it's UFOs plural not UFO's possessive.
The Horror of Dolores Roach (2023)
Roaches Check In But They Don't Check Out
This series is based on, inspired by, or is a retelling of Sweeney Todd but I'm uncertain as to which of those the show's creator was going for here. It was difficult for me to get past the fact that the main character, Dolores Roach, is played by the same actress who played the eternally bubbly and perky Penelope Alvarez for four seasons on the Netflix comedy "One Day at a Time". I just never quite believed that she was a bad-ass, capable of murder, or even capable of scaring someone; although I do think that she manages to shake off a bit of Penelope in a few of the final scenes of episode eight. Each episode is approximately 30-minutes, so it's a quick watch. The series ends on an interesting cliff-hanger so it appears that the creator/showrunner envisioned a second season. I wouldn't classify this series as "Horror" at all, it's a dark comedy. The series won't scare anyone but it's definitely not light on gore either. Some of the death scenes were a bit over-the-top, but dark comedies do take such liberties. Not sure i would watch a season two, other than to learn how the final scene of season one concluded. By the time the writers' strike is over, season two should be prepped and ready to drop in 3-5 (years). That last sentence is some Dolores prison lingo btw.
5 stars - fairly forgettable but not painful to watch.
Run Rabbit Run (2023)
Run Viewer Run ...
....away from this movie. So many questions, none of them answered. So, it starts off with the main character laying on a sandy riverbank maybe. She looks miserable, like she's paralyzed and can't even move. Then it quickly flashes to her opening her eyes in a room. I don't know if she was dreaming about the sand scene but I kept waiting for the movie to address why she was laying in that sand. I thought maybe that scene was going to be one of the end shots that kind of tied the movie together but NOPE, that scene is never brought up in the movie again.
The relationship between the mother and daughter is quite odd and disconnected. I never did figure out why the movie kept focusing on the rabbit bite or what was going on with the daughter - was she reincarnated, possessed, who can say. And i assume the markings on the the little girl's head were from the mom? What was with the rabbit?
The movie did keep me interested - but then that last scene with the daughter and sister ... huh? I was so confused. My guess is that the mother just snapped and a lot of it was in her head due to guilt, but there was literally no explanation for ANY of what was going on.
Also, the ex-husband and new wife were just filler - they had no purpose in that movie at all. And kids in movies these days - I would've had my booty kicked if i acted like the daughter. She was unlikeable but, then again, so was the mother.
Definitely skip this one.
Black Mirror (2011)
Season Six Is Awful
Season 6 was like watching "Tales From The Crypt" or "Tales From The Darkside" or that awful newer series "American Horror Stories". Other than episodes 1 & 3, this season didn't even remotely feel like i was watching "Black Mirror". What a complete letdown. For some reason, with the exception of episodes 1 & 3, the writers decided to go in the direction of the bad horror and exploitation movies of the 70s and early 80s. Episode 1, although more in line with a traditional Black Mirror episode was a complete mess - especially the last five minutes. If Salma Hayek knew she had signed the contract and was appearing as "TV Joan", I'm not sure why anyone else wouldn't also recall signing a contract to also appear as a "TV Joan". Episode 3 was also more in line with a traditional "Black Mirror" episode but it just couldn't save the entire season.
From (2022)
This Should Have Been A 16-Episode Limited Series
The series starts fine and has a LOST feeling to it (apparently both programs are/were produced by some of the same people as LOST). It is also a bit reminiscent of Netflix's Midnight Mass - which really isn't worth watching. The story is interesting but a bit slow moving. The dialogue and acting are below average. The actress who plays Tabitha has a difficult time with the American accent. I believe she is from Colombia and her Spanish accent comes through often. By the eighth or ninth episode, it starts to drag a bit with all of the program's unanswered questions. I think if this had been a 16-episode limited series, the writers could have begun wrapping up the story over the course of the last few episodes. Season Two just raises more questions and provides no answers and it has really dragged on. LOST ended just horribly and without really answering any of the questions that arose during its six seasons and i was pissed that i ever wasted my time on that show, so I'm assuming this series will drag on for as many seasons as possible and end similar to LOST. Therefore, i'm dropping out at the end of Season Two. Season Three has already been green-lit but probably won't drop for over a year, so I won't be interested in picking up where this season leaves off, and I'm not investing any more time in this series just to get a repeat of the LOST ending.
Barbarian (2022)
One of the Worst Movies I've Ever Seen
Without giving away too much, this starts out fine but then quickly veers into one of those bad plots that was big in 70s, 80s and 90s horror movies (and even in "The Goonies"). Then you add a dab of Michael Myers (the boogeyman) from Halloween and toss in the "cops don't believe me" nonsense and there you have it. The dropped gun scenario in these movies is as tired as the dropped keys. The "it evolved from copies and copies and copies" makes no sense since the flashback to the homeowner is to the Regan era - it's less than 40 years later. So, it's not a "copy" - it's the original - and the only one. Also, was the main character super human? And don't get me started with 911. HORRIBLE.
A League of Their Own (2022)
Not in a league of its own
I wasn't impressed with this series; very slow moving except for the five minutes devoted to the tryouts. There's way too much time spent focusing on off-field antics and not enough emphasis on playing baseball. I'm not certain if Abbi Jacobson's character (Carson Shaw) is supposed to be based on Dorothy (Dottie) Kamenshek, but she's a bit clumsy and awkward. And whoever thought that casting Molly Ephraim (Maybelle) as a ditz obviously never saw her in "Last Man Standing". She was awful at playing an airhead in that show and tossing the cliche blonde wig on her head here doesn't make her any better or any more believable. The acting overall isn't great, other than D'Arcy Carden (Greta) who definitely nails it, Gbemisola Ikumelo (Clance), and Chanté Adams (Max). I actually enjoyed the relationship between, and the storylines of, the two latter women more than any of the Peaches. A few of those ladies really do look like they can play ball though - impressive.
Bad Vegan: Fame. Fraud. Fugitives. (2022)
Another Dumb Woman
Why are these women so stupid - giving away millions of dollars to these men who concoct these ridiculously unbelievable stories? Are they that desperate for LOVE? Then they act like somebody forced them to give away their money. I feel no sympathy for this idiot woman, the Tinder Swindler idiot women, or any other idiot woman who gives millions of dollars away to some obvious scammer.
Love Hard (2021)
Should Have Used FaceTime
With all of the talking that these two characters did before meeting, I find it very hard to believe that they didn't FaceTime/Zoom before Natalie jetted across the country to meet Tag/Josh. In the end, there was no real chemistry between the two lead characters and i didn't believe that Natalie would ever fall in love with Josh. Otherwise, it was good "Hallmark/Lifetime" Christmas fun.
Sex/Life (2021)
So/Bad
I should have known this was going to be a horrible series when one of the characters was introduced as Sasha Snow. Poorly written, even more poorly acted, awful dialogue. Hard to believe that Adam Demos (the ex) is only 36-years old and the same guy who was in UNREAL and FALLING INN LOVE; he used to be super sexy but now looks like a mile of bad track - ridden hard and put away wet. And who thought his ridiculous hairstyle was flattering? The flashbacks to a decade earlier are awful and confusing because they don't even attempt to make the characters look any different - the ex has the same oily, curly, giant, George Michael wig hair in both decades. The voice-over narration is super annoying and the series, itself, reminds me of something that would have aired on Cinemax in the 80s/90s.
The Happening (2008)
Oh my!
All i can say is skip this one. It was just horrible. And despite the film's title, it was not HAPPENING.
The Prom (2020)
Skip This Prom
This was visually stunning to watch but the film itself was terrible and painfully long. Andrew Rannells once again plays an annoying, nasally, whiny character and Nicole Kidman still has the worst American accent in film.
The Christmas Setup (2020)
The Nanny's Gay Son Falls In Love
I really liked this movie despite Fran Drescher once again playing her droning, nasally, annoying Nanny character in yet another television production.
Hugo (Ben Lewis) is a big shot New York attorney who travels to visit his mother (Fran Drescher) and super hunky brother (Chad Connell) for the Christmas holiday. Hugo meets Patrick (Blake Lee), an acquaintance from high school. Patrick is a 30-something techie who created and sold an app which allowed him to retire. In other words, Patrick is so loaded that he no longer needs to work and can now just help his father sell Christmas trees at a tree lot.
Hugo and Patrick start clocking time together while also exchanging some suggestive and pretty juvenile banter: "I'll just grab the bottom", "you comin?'" and "could you grab those balls". Insert eye rolls here. It kind of reminded me of those tired Samantha Jones lines from "Sex snd the City" that just weren't funny and aged even worse over the years. Still, in grand Lifetime fashion, they proceed to fall hard for one another.
Without giving away too much, when Hugo is finally offered his heavily sought after promotion in London, it's difficult to believe that Richie Rich (aka the financially independent, 30-something retiree who volunteers at Dad's Christmas tree lot and could live anywhere in the world) wouldn't uproot his own life to continue his relationship with Hugo and/or, at least, fly his techie jet (come on, you know that he can afford one) across the pond every couple of weeks to visit. Instead, he wants Hugo to give up his promotion, as well as abandon his big city New York/London legal career and stay in Milwaukee. That's right, Milwaukee.
Other than that, I really did like it.
A California Christmas (2020)
Painful to watch
Not a trace of Christmas in this movie until the final scene.