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Family Star (2024)
3/10
Sanitised for toddlers
13 April 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Don't watch this film in the UK.

Overall its a pleasant comedy about a man who cares for his family to the point of control and assertion. One day his mother rents out a room in the house to a female lodger. The man falls for her and she charms his family and all is going well until the interval.

The film takes a turn i the second half and as the film draws to its conclusion we see the lead get clonked once round the head, arrive at ???? Covered in blood. A one second still picture shows what probably happened a bloody fight. The distributors decided to release this with a 12A certificate, so lazy parents can take their selves to the cinema and drag along toddlers. In return adults watching this film are treated to nothing.

I don't know how Indian audiences tolerate the bowdlerisation of films, Jailer and Leo are two spectacular examples of distributors stupidity actually editing the final confrontations to gain lower certificates.
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8/10
Worth a watch
19 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Funny film even with subtitles, the comedy works, its a polish take on Four Lions with inept modern nazis attempting to bomb a synagogue and a gay Pride festival. It even has the Polish staple hard core dancing to Techno.

The synopsis of the film can be read in the Storyline. The actors are all unknown to me but all play their parts very well, the director and screenwriter knew how far to take each performer and not take them to a stupid over the top level of gurning.

The characters outside of the main group are funny and carry their scenes well within their plot interactions

Worth a watch.
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Malayankunju (2022)
9/10
Ideal film for all audiences
29 July 2022
I live in a UK town, and the choice of films on release are now in favor of Indian cinema. I have had these films thrown into the mix of viewing. The majority of films tend to be rather bland, unfunny comedies with woeful non stop music numbers. These tend to draw rather chatty and dare i say bored viewers more interested in their phones

Then there are films like this that occasionally get an outing at a cineplex. Thoughtful well paced, with naturalistic acting, dealing with day to day issues. I started to feel uneasy when the wedding appeared and was expecting a 20 minute song and dance number with wacky sidekicks with kazoos and whistles, thankfully that never happened, we get the catalyst of the leading mans issues, anger and frustration.

He turns them on new born Ponni and her family. We see him getting more and more angry, he throws someone's caste at them then his world basically collapses before the intermission.

The second half of the film is outstanding cinema, as Ponni becomes his obsession .Theres a supernatural element to what happens

Its a film that Hollywood could not come close enough to making, without signposting everything.

Definitely worth a watch.
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Toaster (2022)
6/10
You tube short
8 May 2022
An enjoyable piece of twaddle, written and directed by Jamie Powell a video logger and collector of physical media. The budget was wisely spent on Nevilles loaf of bread and a condom. It demonstrates what can be done with a mobile phone and Crazy Joe, the director third cousin twice removed..it doesn't outsay its two part 15 minute running time.
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Beast (II) (2022)
3/10
Cut to s***
19 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This is an action film with all the results of violence cut out in the UK cinema release. Its a certificate 12a in the multiplexes and is missing 3 minutes of action. You see multiple scenes of the lead actor getting ready to do his business and then it cuts to bloodless corpses, no one is seen getting shot, beheaded tortured, beaten etx, but we see the hero shirt getting bloodier for no reason. The film was offered a 15, i think the distributors abridged this neutered film and the censors are not to blame. It explains the number of children in the screening. If you want to see violence, best avoid this. Otherwise its got the usual bollywood nonsense long musical number, man meets strong woman, inept authority figures, stupid contract goons etc.
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4/10
It should be a one
30 October 2021
Incredibly inept ghost story, which is all over the place.the pacing and scenes rarely make sense. Its still enjoyable.for all its stupidity and its worth watching for that alone. It will be difficult to find a worse film this year, but I do recommend it for people to use it as a baseline to do their best and worst films of the year.
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In Vino (2017)
7/10
Kill 90 minutes
25 November 2020
If you plan to watch this movie expecting a cool sophisticated whodunnit Maybe best avoid it. If you watch a fun amusing take on the mystery movie the apex is Murder By Death, but this low budget film is an enjoyable minutes. The large cast in a series of scenes cramped together in small rooms allows the cast to bounce of each other. To me the majority of the caat were unknowns and do a very good job.

The sets look small, there basically no location work, tge twist is not unexpected. Just go along with it.

The obvious thing a viewer will think oh here they come its a Knives Out cash in. It had me thinking did Rian Johnson see this film begore his went into production. That doesnt really matter this one is the lesser of the two.

Its enjoyable and the use of bad language is funny when its dropped into a scene, soon takes it out of the realm of a TV movie.
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8/10
little gem
22 November 2020
I had just watched Afternoon Delight on Roku Channel, and the watch something similar option offered this film.it was at least made in the 2010s, so gave it a go. I gave it a go, it had a bright sparky performance by the lead, the support cast of then virtual unknowns were good in their roles. The synopsis described it as a comedy and when its on a free advertised service providing busted unreleased features, there is very little expectation. This is one those rare films that actually delivers 90 minutes of consistent comedy within its dramatic structure. Just give it a go if you have it on your streaming services.
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7/10
Erotica foe teenagers
14 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I saw a film was on release, no idea what is was. Just booked my seat and turned up. I know i wss late and guessed i maybe missed the opening credits and maybe another 5 minutes ie 10 minutes. I sat down opened my water and started watching. I found myself trying to work out the back story, Tessa had just turned up at the office to start her job, she connected with a young guy who knew her ex boyfriend, wh apoarently worked for the same company. She was next seen waking up after falling asleep overnight at her desk. The boss was friends with the mysterious boyfriends mother. The boyfriend is seen getting a tattoo with no pain killer. A drunken club night where our lead is commando results in a phone call and a bedroom farce. As i watched the film more and more plot was thrown at me, causing confusion. The young actors were fine in their roles though fiennes come across as too namby pampy to be a rebel, it was good to see a chunky actress as the leading actress, made a change. It was only after i got home to read up the film, i discovered the film is a sequel to the first film After (2019) which as far as im aware never came to a cineworld near me. Cut a long story short all the stuff i missed was actuallly in the first film. Makes sense to see that first. To sum up its Two Moon Junction for 14 year olds with no nudity, it could have been a TV movie without the F words. Its enjoyable hokum.
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Supercon (2018)
6/10
when I say Skat, I mean get away
8 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I found this film pretty amusing, I suspect the actual convention stuff in the background is not to far from the truth for the celebrities trawling the world signing articles, taking photos with the fans and doing their meet and greets. The characters in this film are the bottom feeders whose faces and long forgotten shows fill up that space on the poster. For some it could be the only work they get all year. The main characters are pretty unlikeable, foul mouthed and idiots. This is a film where yo don't give a damn if they get away with the heist or end up in jail, for a change no sides have to be picked. There is not even sympathy for the character begging for a wet wipe.'when I say Skat, I mean get away' it's the funniest line I've heard for a long time. The film is worth watching if you stumble across it, if you go looking for it maybe a disappointment .
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Walking Out (2017)
4/10
Death couldn't come quick enough
26 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A competent film, that easily outstays it's welcome. The wilderness has never been so dull. The characters are unlikeable and the father and grandfather past relationship didn't work, but it explains how the stupid is, stupid does mentality exists in modern society. Matt Homer character is killing animals left right and centre for the sake of it, not for preservation of species. So I was glad he was shot and his long slow demise was deserving. I am not sure if the film was pro this or anti that. I just found it dull. If your idea of a good film is watching a bad hunt saga. This the film for you.
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The Oval (2019– )
7/10
An ideal binge month
6 May 2020
Went to My5 in the UK to watch Trains around the World type show and The Oval was on the main page of the site.

Clicked it and gave it ago.

The show is definitely rubbish on first go, but stuck with the episode and realised its a high camp drama with ridiculous characters, over the top subplots and no one likeable.

Gave second episode and it is highly enjoyable trash. Then there was the episode with the old lady in the chemist had me laughing. The show is watchable and enjoyable. I hope half the characters murder each other, then a crazy detective can appear.

The first six hours are only 3 or 4 days into the presidency, and there are a hundred plots.

I have 4 days left to watch the remaining episodes on catch-up, then I think the show will lose its momentum appearing only once a week..

Watch as much as you can in a binge, I am not sure if the service im watching it on has silenced the f-word, or if it was like that in the first place
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Emma. (2020)
5/10
Not that interesting
15 February 2020
Watched the film, then read the novel synopsis, seems a fair adaptation. Truth be told the story is dull as ditchwater, the dialogue corny, way to much reliance on overlong stretches of dance routines. But for the terrible dialogue the actors do their best, Ana and Mia pull strong performances, the annoying personality Miranda Hart actually steals the show with the picnic scene. I would have sooner followed the background story of Fairfax and Churchill with Emma poking her nose in as a support character. The use of traditional folk music and period music was a highlight. The production values are good. My conclusion is that life was probably more interesting and fulfilling being a penniless pauper struggling than living life in the monied upper middle classes with the same people at the same parties day in day out.
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8/10
Watch the film, don't let the reviewers undermine your entertainment.
19 December 2019
I must have watched a different film to the other reviewers giving it low scores.

It's not a perfect film, but at 140 minutes the film zips along at a frantic pace jumping from one set piece to another with nods to the original trilogy and cameos. In a world where every piddling film is released an event, this one is an event.

The film suffers the same problem as others in all the films we don't get the scale of time and distance, every one appears to cross the galaxy with ease, but there again it's a space fantasy not a film about logistics.

I have had the privilege of seeing this series over 42 years, and yep it struggled in the middle series but can honestly say I was satisfied with this film, wether the actors can build careers outside of this film is going to be interesting.

If you are watching the film for the sake of ticking it of the list, maybe give it a miss that way the nay sayers on here can win their battle. If you want to see how this cycle ends go watch it, ignore the negativity and go along for the ridd

Stick through the credits and you get to hear John Williams score.
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Wolf (I) (2019)
3/10
What did the romans do for us?
17 September 2019
When you look at the DVDs/Blu Ray for sale in Asda, Sainsbury, Tesco entertainment department, you might glance down at the lower shelves and see some obscure unknown title in the £3-7 range and think nahhhh I will wait for it to turn up on Movies4Men 2. This was a rare occasion to see one of those type of releases on a cinema screen.

The opening tells us that many myths are based on fact, and this story relates a small troupe of soldiers looking for missing soldiers past Hadrian Wall. The story could have been handled better, but the director and scriptwriter had no idea how to write dialogue and how to get the unknown cast to deliver the words in a credible style. The cast is too small and all we is them in a line walking in woods across the screen, or in a pack in close up in virtual darkness.

By the time the final revelations came, it was a case of oh ok, we must be near the end. The only plus point was vomit in beards. Wait for it premiere on a cable station instead of traipsing to the cinema, or purchasing the DVD.
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Action Point (2018)
8/10
Just watch the damn thing
4 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Saw in the right place with no expectations, I had not even seen a trailer.

So what I got for m 85 minutes was a pleasant surprise. The major plus was the film was set in the late 70s/early 80s and had a decent soundtrack with amongst others The Damned, The Clash and even Sham 69. The park was low rent, so the cast could do some believable stunts and destroy the place in the finale accompanied with a brilliant song that would resonate with adults of a certain age in the UK. A lot of thought went into that. The Brit vibe of the punk movement references with T Shirts and the dog called Siouxie Sioux made me smile.

The flaw with the film is I suspect the producers wanted to make a PG-13/12 film but did not shoot enough coverage to make it work. So in the end maybe used alternative takes with more raucous material. But there was not enough material shot to even turn the film into a meatballs meets Porky's hybrid.

If you the person reading this wants a bit of broad comedy, realistic stunts, destruction, wet dog butts, drunk bears and punky music soundtrack give this one ago. If you are more discerning viewer lacking a fun side and dislike puerile humour AVOID.
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8/10
Give it a go
27 March 2019
Since the chances of seeing this film in its correct aspect ratio, with overtures and intermission in it's longest version possible on the big screen are minimal.

I enjoyed the film on Netflix in its 169 minute version, and have to say at that length it did not outstay it's welcome.

Everybody knows the plot and how the film ends with an excellent pratfall from Ethel Merman. The plus point to this film is the cast expanded as the chase to find the loot pushed people into situations they did not expect. No lasting friendships were formed with this dysfunctional group of people. I found myself siding with the truck driver who was screwed over at every point of his chase, he could not even secure a place in the taxis without fighting and pushing his way in. He and Terry Thomas were the only characters to have sacrificed something. The others were just going about their day.

The film should be applauded for showing the heat and sweat of a desert road and the lack of over editing which kills the pace of modern films. Some scenes were just left static as the motley group of characters argued and failed to decide on a plan.

Just watch the film and it will deliver some laughs for a near 60 year old blockbuster with a cast that maybe meant something at the time, but are now long forgotten on the whole. Looking at the cast list and clicking names, seems the only person still alive is Sylvester's expressive girlfriend played by Barrie Chase
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The Hot Touch (1981)
6/10
Going Going Gone
27 April 2018
This one plays like an episode of White Collar meets Hustle set in the world of art forgery. The cast includes two alumni from the David Cronenberg Canadian back catalog in Allan Kolman (Shivers) and Samantha Eggar (The Brood). The plot isn't sophisticated and moves along at a reasonable. The Roger Vadim directed effort appears to have some print damage on the Amazon Prime screener, especially in the final third. I suspect the film suffered damage when some hack decided to censor Lloyd Bochner characters psychopathic behavior. The film features multiple shots featuring the now destroyed WTC in its use of New York City as a background location.

The film is no great shakes but an ok way to waste 90 minutes
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8/10
Worth a repeat watch...Worth a repeat watch...Worth a repeat watch
21 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
When the Universal logo goes into a Groundhog Day/Edge of Tomorrow roll, its not hard to guess the plot of this film, especially when the loathsome leading character meets her demise within the first ten minutes, and then rewakes takes the audience onn her investigative journey as she gets to live the next 18 hours again.

This results in a myriad of different days and scenarios reaching the same conclusion. No point in telling anyone how it ends, just go along with this amusing Christopher Landon film and you will enjoy it as much as his last screen outing the really good 'scouts guide to the zombie apocalypse'. The comedy horror genre has got itself a good talent long may his reign continue.

The cast are good, the running gags work, the only disappointment is the lack of gore. The soundtrack selection offered my ear a load of tracks that I had not heard before, mind you I'm not the target audience for the soundtrack downloads.

Worth a watch, just try to find a screening time where the phone obsessed and plastic wrap scrunching morons are not in attendance
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Sultan (2016)
8/10
give blood
20 July 2016
Warning: Spoilers
On Meerkat Wednesday I took the jump and watched this film. I was dreading it normally in this town the audiences for films listed as Bollywood they just talk and shout all the way through, only going quite when the songs play. Luckily there was only three people in the screen including me.

The film was a good three hours of Indian film making at its best. The simple script did not rely on an abundance of dance numbers, whistling sound effects and the brain damaged best friend. The juvenile antics of the thirty something Salman Khan chasing fallen kites was a well edited race and gave a good introduction to his love interest Anushka Sharma. The film played like a Rocky film set in the world of wrestling as a series of training scenes and fights followed the growing relationship between the two leads. The cockiness of Salman and the tragedy that befalls him works to a hard hitting end of the first half.

The second half working against this tragedy introduces a new cast and story line to this film and offers plenty of bone crunching fights in the ring. The songs in this film actually work and for a change does not slow down the pacing its almost 3 hour running time. The bright airy world of small town India in the first half contrasts nicely against the dark urban world of Delhi in the second half.

The director/writer Ali Abbas Zafar does a good job and this film easily falls into the top 20 films I've seen this year. Even the credit crawl doesn't waste time it fills the viewer in on the near future for the main characters.
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Udta Punjab (2016)
8/10
One of the best
1 July 2016
It's only in recent years I have started watching the occasional Indian film at my local cinema, and to be honest only when there are weak releases or too many films held over.

This is probably the best Indian film I have seen so far, its got a harsh edge to it none of the sentimentality or stupid sound effects that blight many a film. The music for a change serves a purpose and is just not an exhibition for extravagance.

I don't know how bad the drug culture is in Punjab, but the four story lines on offer have a level of credibility without jumping the shark. The actors are A1 and if international producers are watching this film I can see each one of the leads finding work outside of the Indian system. The camera work, editing, direction are as good as any film.

Its definitely worth a watch, but avoid seeing it in a town called Luton in the United Kingdom, the audiences are the worst you will find. They do not shut their mouths and have no idea how to watch a film and give other people any consideration.
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Housefull 3 (2016)
6/10
Easily distracted watch in the cinema
16 June 2016
Housefull 3 plot wise does not make sense even on it most basic level. This comedy of errors is carried out over the course of 2 and a half hours and does maintain a goofy energy that looks more improvised than scripted. If you are a European its Dirty Rotten Scoundrels meets Dinner For Idiots meets Dumb and Dumber in tone.

The lead males work well together as they try to usurp each other and work well on their own in their individual scenes, especially when they are tested by the potential father in law. The lead actresses are long legged and though not particularly used are efficient in their roles, the housemaids steal their scenes even though they are racial stereotypes from the 1930s films with big staring eyes.

Production wise the scenes shot in the UK look bright and sunny and the CGI ants are a standout, the St Patrick's Beer Day scene as to be seen to be believed it is very green.

This one has to be seen in the cinema, I think watched at home it would take hours to watch if the viewer is easily distracted and loves their pause button
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8/10
Queen Of The Blues
13 April 2016
Showing on Netflix, this is an informative documentary for those who do not know much about the 1970s British pornographic film industry and its one time leading light who lived every cliché before dying.

I had heard of Mary Millington growing up in the 1970s because she got a lot of coverage in the newspapers that were published on Sundays, and her films were always advertised in the fronts of cinemas.

The films themselves when seen on tape in the 1980s were rather bland unfunny smut fests than full on sex films. If it wasn't for magazines like Whitehouse and Playbirds being passed round school playgrounds the Mary Millington of porn legend would have been long forgotten.

The film was obviously made by a film maker who likes his subject and keeps the tone of the film positive and zips through her life with stories and photographs of Mary Millington from her child hood through to her tragic suicide. There are lots of talking heads who were there during this time including the man who turned Mary into a publishing house and made David Sullivan a millionaire many times over.

The documentary contains many clips from Marys rather explicit back catalogue and though not full on sex is displayed it manages to convey what her films were like outside of her soft porn career. Be warned there are brief glimpses of fellatio, rutting and girl on girl action from her porn loops and brief snippets and covers from the magazines she appeared in.

It's interesting to see how mainstream celebrity at the time led to her downfall, and brought her into the world of cocaine and high living, whilst also battling depression. Even in her early days according to the film she was earning £200 a film (worth £4,000 in today's earnings), those 8mm loops cost £1,000 to make and could sell 300,000 units across Europe. Millington also appeared in porn magazines during the 1970s and these could sell upwards of a million copies per issue.

This film is worth watching and it handles its subject with respect
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Jai Gangaajal (2016)
8/10
Indians vs corruption tale
9 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Enjoyable Indians vs corruption tale. The bad guys are the politicians, the corporations and the majority of the police force who have beaten down an agricultural town and have used their power to steal the land from the population to build a power station.

The situation changes when a new officer under the selection of a government officer moves into the territory, instead of bowing to the whims of the corrupt politicians and turning a blind eye to the brutality of goons she takes them on using the force of the law.

The lead actress Priyanka Chopra plays SP Abha Mathur the honest Inspector who takes on MLA Babloo Pandey (Manav Kaul), chief land grabber (Ninad Kamat) and finds herself having to protect the rights of the bad guys has she tries to find out the truth about a series of brutal hangings. The script works well and does not fall back on lazy moments of comedy sidekicks and long drawn out dance numbers, Yes there are songs in the film but they are used emphasise scenes. The cinematography is good and this viewer could see how well it captured a dying town and a beaten people.

This film uses its actors well and the characters though clichéd are good especially Prakash Jha (also the director)as the corrupt police officer, whose conscience is finally opened to what hes condoned.

The only disappointment is the run of the mill ending.
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8/10
Scouting for an audience
12 November 2015
Horror films in recent years tend to be in the found footage vein, and Zombie films have been in decline since filmmakers could knock them out on low budgets with large amounts of CGI hordes of the undead for the straight to disc market.

Scouts Guide is a modestly budgeted comedy horror with lashings of gore with plenty of raucous laugh aloud.

The film does open up with a truly cringe worthy two minutes of inept nonsense with a janitor doing his job, but quickly changes its pace with the introduction of D.O.D. Christopher Landon (son of Highway to Heaven actor/director Michael London) has the guts to run with the laughs and some decent splatter for the next 90s minutes.

The cast of unknowns are capable and do have the charm and skill to carry the film over its 90 minutes running time. The film does not lag or waste any time introducing parental relationships and defining the social structure of high school culture it exists within its own universe of undead, scouts, strippers, boobs and pussies of all sorts. It's well edited, the script is tight,the photography is bright and clean and is definitely worth a viewing.

I just hope the producers don't plan a long series of low budget pointless sequels and just let the film find its own appreciative audience over the coming years.
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