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The Lion Guard (2015–2019)
1/10
Absolutely awful
3 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This review is going to be mainly about Bunga and The Power player (aka Kion) and a few villains.

Starting with Kion, he's the leader of the lion guard and he's literally just a goody goody two shoes who acts like a power player since he has that god dang roar. Otherwise he's just really plain, and you could replace him with, really, any animal since he doesn't have much personality.

Bunga- oh I need to express my anger on this little rat piece of garbage. He farts all over villains which is both stupid, weird, and -

Series 3 villains ( well more like the second half of s3 ). So let me start with Chuluun. My favorite villain. Oh my god, I dreamed about her last night. She is the best one in mackucha's army. I like how they didn't kill her off immediately, because that's usually what happens. I am kinda raging about how she got defeated by Bunga, and it makes me wanna throw him out a window. I would if I met him irl. Anyways, I also really like her character design. It'll be sooo fun drawing her.

Carrying on, I wish she got more character development, because she could've had many different potentials. She could've joined the pridelands as an anti-hero type character and just have a hatred for pandas and what not, also showing up annoyed at the ceremony for kion at the end, or she could've just left Makucha's army and pulled an abby lee, so at least we can have one villain that escaped the roar.

I also like how she pretends to be a ghost in Ghost Of The Mountains. If only there was an anti-hero group for her :(

Now for the main "idea" of the show.

Kion and his friends constantly fight other animals, which is quite annoying for a kids show when you can just find a solution and talk without fighting.

Also they usually don't do it for a good reason. When animals try to hunt, kion and his gang fight and chase that animal. It's like when your mom prepares you a dinner and five maniacs take your dinner and chase you 200 miles away. Kion, let me explain, "Animals that are predators hunt for their food. They EAT that food to survive and grow" I'm guessing Kion does not know what those simple words mean. What his rules are: "ME KION I AM LION I HAVE SUPERPOWER I WANT TO FIGHT FOR THE PRIDELANDS" not even joking.

Oh, and don't get me started on the roar. The roar is when Kion roars at villains and they get swept 1,000 miles away. It's a cool superhero power for KION, but not for whoever's watching it cuz like, come on, we all know what happens at the end of every episode. Kion blows the villain(s) away with his roar. Oh how surprising. Like seriously, how is this supposed to be entertaining when you know what happens every episode??

Overall, lion guard is a weird and annoying show that I hate watching other than the Chuluun parts.

SPOILER: do you even need a spoiler?
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Mac and Me (1988)
10/10
So odd
10 August 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The night before, me and my dad were joking about how bad this movie was. Well, the next night, we put it on jokingly. (SPOILER: this doesn't mean the movie was good). Anyways, we kept watching and then we get to the McDonalds scene.

Oh no

This was the most hilarious thing I've ever watched.

Everyone just randomly starts dancing in McDonald's and then (not sure if everyone noticed,) Mac starts flipping in the air.

Also, throughout the whole movie the only way to revive the aliens is to feed them coke.

If you don't feed the aliens coke it won't work.

No seltzer.

No coffee.

No ginger ale.

Coke.

Overall, I don't have much else to say about this movie other than "it was made by McDonalds and the coke cola company."
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iCarly (2007–2012)
10/10
Originals are best!!!!
10 July 2023
Considering all the disappointments in remakes and spin offs recently, I think we should just stick to originals. Originals are always best. ICarly is a great show that made me laugh time and time again , and any remake of an original show or movie is just less enjoyable in general. The great thing about originals is that they have that particular spark that keeps it entertaining. I loved the drama between Sam and Freddie, since that usually kept me watching season 4-5.

My thoughts on the iCarly reunion:

I was REALLY excited for the spin off of iCarly, because I was already rooting for them to continue iCarly, since the sad last episode :( . So once they released it... uhhhh I just wasn't too interested anymore. It got a little boring, and it was definitely more adult-ish than the first iCarly. Also, it definitely lost its charm mainly do to the loss of Sam. I couldn't expect them to be so kid like since all the characters are grown up now, but geez, I was hoping for more.

I've also been seeing the Creddie (Carly+Freddie) commercials on teennick, which at least looks like some drama that could be quite entertaining. Anyways, 10/10 on our beloved iCarly original. Hope y'all enjoyed.
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8/10
It was pretty good/fine
9 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kracken was a good film in my opinion. However, if definitely could have spent more time on explaining WHY the mermaids were at war with the krakens. What was the history of that? Just, WHY? Also, I have two other problems..

1. This movie comes out the SAME year as The Little mermaid remake and the mermaids in it are now evil and the villain is a red head mermaid. Also, The little Mermaid remake (in my opinion) was not very good anyways. Is this like -coincidental?

2. It looks like a copy of turning red in the beginning: same family struggles, mom is strict with her daughter and HER mom is tough on her, also there was a part about "controlling your kracken" though this part of development was barely showcased throne away later, there could've been less things in common between Turning red and Teenage kracken.

The movie was good/fine, I'm just happy it turned out better than the garbage remake of The Little Mermaid.
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Flushed Away (2006)
1/10
Pretty odd.
19 June 2023
First off, the animation was garbage. The characters were just so gloomy and odd looking. It was one of those "scroll down to the bottom of Netflix" movies and overall I was pretty disappointed in Dreamworks, knowing that they usually make pretty good movies. Dreamworks is a very popular company, but seriously, THIS? Don't get me wrong, this was back in 2006, but finding Nemo was made in 2003 and was a literal masterpiece compared to this. (Finding Nemo is also very good in general). This looks like it wasn't even made by Dreamworks, more like the makers of Pets United. Oof.

I don't have much else to say. But, what I can say, is that, "Flushed Away" is an odd film with a trashy animation style that is irritating to look at. You like it, good for you, you don't like it, good for you. I don't really care.
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Rainbow High (2020– )
1/10
Snort.
18 June 2023
First of all, the dolls are just inappropriate and creepy. My sister has a few, and I don't enjoy them in my household. But one thing that hit me was that.. there's a show? I watched it with a friend a few months ago, and the first episode was too much to handle. It was a little bit hard to follow, and I got confused between all the colors. I like rainbows, but do I ever wear rainbow every day of my life?? These dolls are pretty ridiculous to be honest.

Also, in addition to rainbow high, there's "shadow high" which was just straight up bogus. The shadow high dolls are frightening to look at, and I don't know why anyone likes these.

The bottom line is that rainbow high is a weird show that (in my opinion) is a ridiculous excuse for a series. I think I'm good on the amount of "high school" films.
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Zombies 3 (2022)
3/10
Given up.
17 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I thought the first two movies were fine, they had a good message to kids, (though I do get a bit irritated when I look at the wolves. They just look like normal humans apart from the fangs. All they needed to add was a tail or something.) But.. the third one was just... the cringiest film ever. The alien invasion song made me cringe. Like they were so surprised aliens came when they already had werewolves and zombies. And they had to sing the most annoying, cringy song.

Overall, Zombies 3 was kind of mediocre, and cringy as heck. I hoped for more in this, though, it wasn't ideal. I'm pretty sure they completed the movie series, but if they somehow didn't, I'll definitely be overwhelmed.
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Big City Greens (2018– )
3/10
Annoying.
13 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I have how it always mushy at the end. Characters are always apologizing about their actions at the end, which is not what we should be focusing on.

It's good to notice, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that" but at the same time, if they just didn't do the super ridiculous stuff that they do, we wouldn't have to watch a "feel sorry for me" mushy moment. It's just a waste of time.

It's pretty annoying with the son and the dad, since it's all about Cricket not getting into trouble. That kids also pretty whiny and annoying, too. Tilly is the only semi-acceptable character throughout the film, but the producers STILL had to mess up her character with the episode about her getting in trouble. It ruins her character completely.

The bottom line is that big city greens has very annoying sequences and characters, and I recommend not to watch too many episodes!
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Gravity Falls (2012–2016)
9/10
The best.
13 June 2023
I used to watch a lot of big city greens on Disney XD. Unfortunately, big city greens wasn't always available and some characters got petty annoying and whiny. But.. sometimes, gravity falls would start! And that's when I realized that I loved it. I watch the same episode over and over and over again. It's a notable show, and I never get sick of it. It's pretty funny, and I like how it isn't repeating characters saying sorry and how much they got taken away at the end. I like that the characters have more sense than some other characters in cartoons. It's a real adventure, slightly creepy, and interesting at the same time.

I do, in fact, recommend this for anyone wanting a funny cartoon that has some interesting sequences!
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Bizaardvark (2016–2019)
1/10
This is just sad
13 June 2023
It's such a FREAKING rip off of iCarly! I'm sooo upset! It was on a channel I was watching once, and I was miserable the whole time! People need to STOP copying originals! It's so unfair and unnecessary! Rip offs are everywhere these days, and this is just one of many outrageous examples. No one should copy iCarly! That was a great show that I used to watch every single day! Buzzard ark is just such a copy! I'd be delighted to give this show a negative 10000000 star review if I could. This seriously is a great piece of garbage! Not saying that Sam and Cat is the BEST, but I'd take that over a rip off any day!
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Danger Force (2020–2024)
2/10
Will never own up to Henry Danger
13 June 2023
I honestly can get why they made this sequel, since henry can't be so young forever, but I really throw up in my mouth when I see danger force. It made sense why they made a big team of smaller kids, but it takes way longer to get work done with those kids than it ever took Henry. Henry went in and succeeded, but these kids just couldn't follow his footsteps. Henry danger had the perfect crew, and they all worked together with a certain part. I was pretty sad when Henry danger ended, it was so well-put together! Also, these new characters in danger force are the most cringeworthy people. Henry and Charlotte (maybe spelling that wrong) never creeped around like cringy, awkward kids.

I love to watch Henry Danger on a certain channel, and I'll watch it over and over and over again until.. danger force starts. That's when I switch channels. Honer originals like Henry Danger, and keep in mind that you can never make the same shows/movies like the original!
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10/10
A masterpiece.
13 June 2023
I was never a Disney Princess fan, but in the last 1-2 months or so, I appreciate these originals way more. I went to the theater to see the NEW The Little Mermaid, which was very mediocre. It lost the Disney spark, and felt as if a different company had made it. This made me realize how much we need to value originals, for they always have the charm and spark that we can't bring back to these days. Ariel, in the remake, was not as fun and incredibly talented as the original Ariel. It was sad, and now I want to watch the original over and over again, to refresh my memory with the beautiful, original masterpiece. 10/10 stars on The Little Mermaid original, and we all have to accept that it was way better than the remake!
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The Little Mermaid (I) (2023)
5/10
Almost...but.. no.
11 June 2023
I know people say on their reviews, "DO NOT COMPARE THE FIRST TO THE SECOND MOVIE" but you have to remember that the originals are usually better than the second at the same time. It's not that I'm trying to make a totally negative review, because this movie wasn't awful, but I had higher expectations. The first part was sticking way too strictly to script, and sounded cringy and somewhat stupidly exaggerated. Especially when "Ariel" went onto a big rock and screamed at the top of her lungs. I don't remember that in the movie ;) . Don't get me wrong, it was a nice effort in making a movie based off the first one- wait- but was it? (Switching gears a bit..)I give credit to lion king, though, the second one was pretty good on representing the first one. The lion king live action version was pretty well executed.

In conclusion, I thought the Little Mermaid wasn't awful but it could've been wayyyyyyyy better.
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Superkitties (2023– )
1/10
I cringed.
10 June 2023
I cringed while hearing the saying, "Oops a kitty!" What a cringeworthy saying. *barf* this is even worse than paw patrol, also considering it is a rip off of paw patrol. It's not as bad a Kitti Katz, but at the same time, I cringed more at this than I did while watching Kitti Katz. This is yet another show making fun of cats for children's' sake. It's infuriating and inappropriate for kids shows to be singling cats out and making MOSTLY good shows about dogs. It's cruel and unfair! It's offending to cat lovers all around the world. All the villains are whiny little babies like Cailou! (I may be spelling that wrong, but I'm pretty sure you know that whiny bald kid) .

Avoid these cat offending shows at all costs. -Peace out. -Ralphie Walters.
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PAW Patrol (2013– )
1/10
Why?
10 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
We have this problem in every kids show these days. 1. Mediocre/cheap made films. 2. Endless merch. 3. The wrong message. 4. Protagonists ALWAYS win. The paw patrol is able to litterally beat any enemy in the world. Just like how they had beaten Sweetie, which was ridiculously rubbish. Let the Antagonists win for once, or alt least have both loose! Ex: Darktail vs. Onestar. Like I've mentioned in my recent reviews, it's boring and predictable when you know that the good guys will win every time. It's soooooo annoying. I used to love paw patrol, but that was when I was too young to have common sense.

This show is annoying as heck, though, however, not nearly as irritating as PJ Masks or Kitti Cats. At least these dogs aren't turning into cats or fighting their classmates at night! -Peace out. -Ralphie Walters.
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1/10
My dad hates
5 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
My dad hates this movie. Whenever I bring it up he's like "EEHHHH oh yeah the emoji movie..that was a weird one." this movie is so pointless. Makes no sense, and the characters have a weird motive. I barely remember this coming out. I didn't want to remember. Unfortunately, SLIGHTLY did, and that's why it deserves a review. This may be as bad as marmaduke lol. Could also compare to some other randomly made movies too. This is a very bad kids movie. Kids deserve better movies. Not every person will enjoy weird movies like emoji movie. That's what movie makers need to keep in mind.

This movie was very odd and pretty mediocre. I'm hoping to see more valuable movies and less movies like the emoji movie.

-peace out. -Ralphie Walters.
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Marmaduke (2022)
1/10
Ehhhhh
4 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was so random I almost forgot it existed. Such a random Netflix movie, and the animation just scared me. I only watched a few parts, but those parts gave me enough info to write a review. Apart from being a random Netflix movie, it was pretty mediocre too. Part of it didn't make sense, and the animation made my eyes hurt- maybe even bleed. I never have ever met a person who said, "Let's watch Marmaduke!" , and , if I did, I'd immediately run away from that person. No offense, but this movie is just trash. I am deeply sorry for those who enjoyed this move. -peace out. -Ralphie Walters. (Spoiler; This movie will poison your eyes.)
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6/10
Fine movie
4 June 2023
Honestly was pretty good. Though, at some points, a bit cringy and maybe gets a bit mushy at times, but at the end of the day, it was a good movie. I laughed a few times, which I don't usually do while watching movies. I liked the plot, it did make sense. It was pretty great, actually, compared to some awful kids movies I've watched between 2020 and 2023. I really don't know what else to say. Now this bit is just to fill up the required amount of words to actually submit the review. I apologize if this part is wasting your time. So I'll just keep typing until the required characters are filled up. -peace out. -Ralphie Walters.
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PJ Masks (2015–2024)
1/10
No doubt the most annoying kids show
31 May 2023
Warning: Spoilers
PJ masks are 3 kids that turn into hero's at night. They ..uhm.. fight their classmates at night..? Wait- what? These kids are literally battling their classmates! Wow, what's the message? "Fight your classmates at night, kids!" Uhhhhh. A little confused. Anyways, this show is so annoying. The soundtrack, the whiny voices of the kids, everything. And every episode someone gets a turn to waste everyone else's time. Owlet is a buzz-kill, cat boy..he's got problems, and gecko face is a whiny little nuisance that acts like cailou ( the super annoying whiny bald kid. ) They're all equally pests. I can agree with the name, PJ Pests. SPOILER: This is the most annoying show in existence.
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Cats (2019)
1/10
I'm scarred
29 May 2023
This ain't a kids movie. When you think of cats, you think, "Medium sized animals with whiskers that stand on 4 paws." Whelp.. this movie, however, does not fit with that description. More like, "freaky looking humans with tails and plastic surgery to look like cats." Nightmares. It. Gave. Me. Nightmares. I closed my eyes while watching it at the theatre. Hideous. Absolutely hideous. I'm not a big fan of musicals, but this one was by all means the WORST. It's not fun watching humans that make themselves look like cats. I swear this musical was making fun of cats. I recommend for this movie to make an apologetic letter to the cats of the world.

I've never met a person who liked this horror. I love cats, I have three, but, please, stop offending them like this! Cats don't deserve this! -ps: cats don't belong on two legs. -peace out. -Ralphie Walters.
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Kitti Katz (2023– )
1/10
"FREAKS ON LEASHES"
29 May 2023
Okay, so let me get this straight, .. humans turn into cats then turn back into humans dressed up as cat-like freaks. Hmmm.. where to start.. yeah, this is a rip off of so many things. 1. PJ Masks 2. Miraculous (to name a few) I know that it is meant for a younger audience, but what is the life lesson? "one day, you kids will grow up to be superhero's dressed up like freaks fighting weird, weak villains. Have fun!" But literally, though. It's ridiculous. Even the intro, too, is a rip off of PJ Masks. The three colors. Everything. The fact that there are not many cat shows/movies, and mostly all of them are making fun of cats, is just horrible. The creators of "Kitti Katz" pretty much did no research on cats or cat behavior.. and they had to make the cats VIBRANT COLORS to catch a three-year-olds' attention. I'm not even sure a toddler could follow the plot. Okay, let's get back to the antagonists. They're weak! The "demon dogs" didn't even put up a big fight! And, of course, the creators HAD to give them a human body and a dog head! Ugly! All the characters! Everything! Ugly! This weird style could scare a young child within seconds of watching. The "demon dogs" are beaten easily by the "Kitti Katz" but let's call the "Kitti Katz" a more fitting name. "Cat freaks" ahhhh, that's good! Perfect! Let us continue. So, the demon dogs are just not very powerful, and it's not fun when you know the protagonists are automatically winning. Moving forward, It's time to talk about the cat costumes. Weird. There's a musical called Cats, too, that kind of matches up with the vibe of the "Cat freaks" costumes. In Cats, (in my opinion) the people look like humans that had plastic surgery to look like cats. What's the meaning of making fun of cats like that? It's not fun to watch, nor think about. Sorry, getting off topic. The Kitti Katz ("cat freaks") costume. It's weird, and has vibrant colors. Not even resembling the colors of cats. * sigh * . At least it doesn't look like humans that got plastic surgery to look like cats.. Anyways, let's talk about the powers. The green "cat freak" has the power of back-flipping and jumping obnoxiously high. The pink cat can drop kick people. Yeah, the pink cat probably just took karate. The creators added a pink glow when the pink cat does her drop kicks.???? And the blue cat.. "cat-tornado power!" Whatever that's supposed to mean. The freaking girl spins in a million circles and knocks down whoever she's fighting. A weird power, but, whatever. I got 99 questions but I ain't gonna tell ya them. So, I don't tolerate cats (or, honestly, any animal) standing on two legs. It's unrealistic and infuriating. End of story.

In conclusion, "Kitti Katz" is a weird show that many people are liking so far. I don't get that, but whatever, people like what they like. "Kitti Katz" is also a rip off of more shows that I can name. "Freaks on leashes" is what I'll rename the show. So, if your into mediocre and weird shows, have fun wasting time watching this! -peace out. -Ralphie Walters.
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