Reviews

Cuz it sure wasn't Halloween. I admit it, I got curious and when a friend told me he had obtained a bootleg copy (which I don't really agree with nor with downloading music illegally), I watched it. What I saw was not only so far removed from being Halloween, it ceased from being a scary movie at all. Not even one second of suspense or build up exists in the version I saw. Even worse is the disjointed feeling I got from watching the intro until the dreadful and boring conclusion. Michael Myers is certainly not The Shape in this movie at all, he's a sympathetic victim of his surroundings who appears usually in plain view throughout the story. In this film, Myers truly is just a guy in a suit with a mask on. No mystique. Period.

It's clear that Rob Zombie feels that his visuals must speak for themselves and are so disturbing and so provocative, that they must be scary. Well they aren't. Neither is the transition from the story of a psychotic boy to a 7 foot giant stalking some girls we meet well into the movie. The pacing here is strictly amateur night. Then again we are talking about Zombie and he is an amateur. He's obviously very much in love with himself too.

Yes, I'm aware that the theatrical version will be somewhat different, but unless the whole movie was scrapped in favor of a more developed and effective re-telling, I can't imagine that most of the scenes I saw won't still be there left in tact, along with the overall tone which makes up this very pointless and unnecessary experience.

My God. I really don't know where to begin. I guess I should start with the obvious fact that this film was completely unnecessary. Most scenes in the movie seem to have been blatantly lifted directly from the second film so much so that at many times I felt as though I was watching a remake. After sitting through this mess I had a whole new respect for the first two films as being action/sci-fi classics. I have a sneaky suspicion that this "movie" will be one of those over priced blockbuster hopefuls that will be all but forgotten a few years from now.

The absence of James Cameron is greatly felt from the opening shot of T3, to its dreadful ending. Although he has been considered controversial because of his constant perfectionism, I guarantee you that the shameful and embarrassing acting as well as the copied storyline would not be found in the third installment had he been involved. Then again, the reason Cameron was not at the helm for this one was because he simply felt there was no more story. Things were pretty tied up at the end of T2, wouldn't you say? There isn't even a proper explanation as to why the events in T3 are even happening.

Nevertheless, you just knew a third movie was going to be made and people would be having visions of Terminator greatness on their minds. It's sad to realize that fans of the Terminator films will no doubt be very disappointed (at least I think they will be). There really is nothing good about this movie and it scares me to death to think that if this particular sequel to a very well known couple of movies was this terrible, what does this hold for some of the other announced or planned big money sequels to movie franchises. If Indiana Jones 4, Die Hard 4, or even Mad Max 4 are nearly as bad as this film, God help us all.

One more point I would like to stress concerning this movie would be its message/philosophy. Let me get this straight, the main point of the story is that humans simply cannot avoid what is inevitable? This is in absolute contradiction to the second film's meaning of "No Fate But What We Make" in which disaster can be averted if we all just wake up and realize what is about to go down. So in other words, the optimistic ending of the second film is replaced by a complete downer ending in the third film that is just hideous in how weak it is. This is bad, really bad and I have to believe that James Cameron is smoking hot with anger. I am going to try my hardest to pretend that this film (and whatever may follow it) never existed. That way I can appreciate just how entertaining and interesting the first two stories indeed are.

I was convinced in 2001 that the worst film that I ever had the displeasure of watching was 13 Ghosts. Now I'm afraid to admit that I may have very well come across another movie that just might be even worse. I can't even put into words how ridiculous this is so I'm not gonna waste any of my time doing so. This has to be seen in order to understand how awful it is. I believe this would be the shortest review I've ever given and I've never been so sure of myself quite like this before.

I know this film has quickly become one of the most popular documentaries of recent times and much of what could possibly be said about it have long ago been discussed by others so I will keep this as brief as possible. I felt compelled to write a comment on this movie because of the fact that I have lived in and around the town of Flint, Michigan (the location and focus of Moore's 1989 "Roger and Me") for my entire life. Michael Moore is and always has been talented in his own way. I've come to believe since I've seen this film, however, that his talent comes primarily from showcasing everything that happens to be wrong with society. Not even a single probable solution is brought up in this movie and it is easy to see why. Moore is content as a filmaker in exposing only the negative side of things. It is his specialty and it is what his movies are based on. This film is no exception and for the average person I'm sure this is a very convincing piece of work but Moore's blatant manipulation has reached an all time high. The finger is pointed in no less than three completely different directions. We seem to be first re-introduced to the old debate concerning high school bullying, followed by racism, and then followed, of course, by the belief that the rich are only out to screw the poor and nothing more. At times it seems as though Moore is just going off on tangents and he has a serious problem trying to tie all these things together to make better sense.

Lastly, this is obviously a very personal movie that Moore has made and those that see it are bound to have their own personal feelings regarding the main subject of violence. I would like to say that I failed to see how it was Dick Clark's fault that some woman's child shot another little child at school, a school that I actually don't live that far away from. More importantly I was left wondering why this woman is viewed as being a victim when quite frankly she should probably be in prison for raising her son in a crack house and an otherwise horrible environment. Why should Charleton Heston have to apologize for something that he had nothing to do with? I suppose that the film's conclusion paints the best picture for me. Moore is out to do two things as far as I'm concerned. He's out to expose only what is wrong with the world and then mix these things with realistic drama in order to be has convincing as possible. You can't knock the guy for having a lack of talent at being manipulative though. He seems to be very good at that.

Pretty straightforward action flick that is absolutely ridiculous and yet I can forgive it. You see there was nothing I loved more as a child than watching the movie heros fight the bad guys and ultimately take them out to restore peace to the free world. However, somewhere in the mid-90's, these kind of films (which I have appropriately labelled "The Big Dumb Action Movies") became a lost art and gave way to newer more complex action thrillers. In some instances this was for the better and in other instances, let's just say you were left longing for the days of old when Johnny Rambo dashed acrossed a battlefield in the jungle with his extra powerful M-60 machine gun and mowed down some Commie scum. One of the men at the frontline of the old action genre movies was Steven Seagal. His older movies were an action fan's wet dream. They had lots of shooting, lots of brutal fight scenes, and the occasional trademark Seagal staredown. Nevermind the fact that the man couldn't act well even if his children were kidnapped and one of the ransom demands from the kidnappers was for not only $5 million dollars but also for Seagal to play at least one scene in a new movie with a different tone of voice and a different facial expression.

But the entertainment was there and when I saw "Exit Wounds," I was automatically thrown back into the mind of a young boy all over again. Here's a movie that gives an old fan of action exactly what they could ever hope for. Lots of martial arts, lots of great shootouts, and over the top stunts (maybe with a little bit of help from those damn cables and CGI but let us ignore this for the time being). This movie is a lot of fun and I was glad to see Seagal make a return to the kind of movie that people actually will pay to see him in, even if this is just a one time deal for the pony tail sporting Aikdo artist. If it is simple minded action you crave, then you can't go wrong with "Exit Wounds," which is really more of a throwback than anything. When you see the legendary action film veteran Bill Duke on the screen with those crazy eyes, you know you're officially watching a "Big Dumb Action Movie."

"Signs" is in my opinion the best film of 2002 and should be strongly considered as Best Picture at this year's Academy Awards. M. Night Shyamalan has provided us with one of the scariest thrillers to come out of Hollywood in a very long time. There is an incredible amount of tension that is built up throughout the movie as well as an interesting subplot that becomes beautifully integrated with the main storyline. What really caught my attention and my admiration about this film is the fact that the story is really about a family. The unusual formations that are found in the family's corn field and the sightings of unexplained phenomenon that follow are all taken more or less from the perspective of Mel Gibson's character, his brother, and his children. Unlike a similar scenario that we see in 1996's Independence Day, Gibson and his family are not out to save the world. As matter of fact, there isn't much they can do about what is happening around them. Shyamalan wisely chooses to keep the setting in a small, farm town community and aside from what the family members view on television, the audience is forced to share in the same unsettling feeling of intense isolation that the characters are faced with.

Obviously Shyamalan has studied Mr. Hitchcock very extensively (in particular 1963's The Birds) which is of a great advantage to him. It isn't often that I become truly scared at a movie, but this one tapped into an old formula that will never grow old and should be viewed as a true classic in the years ahead. It's a fantastic movie experience that blends drama with the backdrop a sci/fi horror story. Even the film's message, which becomes very clear at the conclusion, makes perfect sense and is wonderfully optimistic. Emphasizing the importance of this family's faith and love over all else. This is a good one and you owe to yourself to make sure that you see it.

Here we have a film that simply pushes its message entirely way too far on the audience and results in absurd storytelling. The idea that the media is a ruthless and controlling entity is not exactly a fresh one and more importantly, the manner in which the material is laid out (often times in what is assumed to be comical fashion) becomes utterly ridiculous as the film progresses. What truly amazes me is that some of the finest actors in Hollywood can be found in this movie and I had high expectations of the talent that they would bring into this. However, I would go so far as to say that their talents are wasted especially Robert DeNiro.

I suppose this film could be thought of as one giant parody of the society in which we live in and I certainly hope that was the plan of the filmakers because this is incredibly unrealistic and just plain stupid in some scenes. The fact that it is somewhat difficult to differentiate between this being something light in tone and something very dark is quite confusing. There is a way to do black comedies and then there is a way to not do them. Pulp Fiction scored big in this department as did the classic Dr. Strangelove:Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. This one just doesn't do it for me. Then again it might have been intended to be something entirely different but one thing is for certain, its message told through the action is quite laughable and virtually wasted on a weakly, tiresome idea.

I don't have much to say about this movie other than it was one of the worst films ever put before mankind. It never ceases to amaze me how studios that have extremely deep pockets allow something this atrocious to be made. The studio executives would have been better off throwing their $20 million in a fire pit because it would have been much more worthwhile than spending it on making this film. The best actors in the movie are actually the ghosts themselves, which are pretty hard roles to screw up considering that a lot CGI was involved I'd imagine. The only single positive element to come from this crime of a movie are the rather impressive set pieces. So if you have dreams of one day being a set designer maybe you would want to watch this thing and know how to make good sets for future GOOD films, otherwise avoid this trash at all costs. This is the kind of movie that has the ability to make people depressed after viewing it because they feel as though they have wasted a valuable chunk of their life when they could have been doing something else.

The Road Warrior (Mad Max 2) is one of the most unforgetable movies of all time and certainly one of the greatest action films ever. The beauty of this film is that it focuses very little on story telling and almost entirely on action. The concept is incredibly simplistic. The world is in a major state of chaos and gasoline has become the world's new form of currency. A small community of people have barricaded themselves within a refinery and a group of evil and scary looking scavengers want to steal it for their own survival. That's just about it. Normally, films with such weak storylines aren't remembered at all. Yet director George Miller has tapped into something that goes beyond simple dialogue to tell a story. This film and the world that these characters inhabit is explained through the use of its wild and brutal action scenes. With a simple introduction and a gritty chase between Mad Max and some fuel-hungry pursuers, the audience gets a very informative glimpse of what this future holds for mankind. It wastes no time in explaining what is clearly obvious and the post-apocalyptic setting is really just an interesting backdrop to this bizarre film.

This film is about action. Plain and simple. Words cannot even describe the incredible car stunts and crashes that we witness in this movie. The soundtrack is a pounding and ear splitting one that, no matter how hard you try, will not leave your head for weeks. Because this film is so unique and has not been matched since (Waterworld was the closest clone seen thus far), I would recommend that nearly everyone should at least watch it once. Whether you like it or not, you will not forget it. 10/10

Pretty weak entry into the longest lasting film franchise of all time (oh wait I think Godzilla may have had more films). The biggest problem with this movie is that there is nothing remotely original in it (with one exception). Yes the action sequences in Bond films are always interesting and different (although I have to tell you the entire scene of Bond in his new car on the ice and in the palace is a real bore), but the last three Pierce Brosnan adventures have suffered horribly from the standard Bond formula. It has become just a little too much. What I really would like to see is the makers take a chance and try something different. From Russia With Love didn't really follow the Bond formula that we have become too familiar with at all. It was an exciting adventure that focused on suspense and thrilling the audience with a story that one could get into. This may sound sacrilegious, but I honestly think a renovation of the series would make for better future films.

On a positive note, I did enjoy the opening teaser with its over the top action, as well as Bond's imprisonment (an awkward and very welcome change in direction). The fencing match between Bond and the film's villain was also well written and choreographed. Making it the best non-lethal interplay between the hero and bad guy since Goldfinger's golf match. It was a perfect way for the two to size each other up in the early parts of the film. Now if only the rest of the movie had been this exciting. 6/10

Well let's get one thing out of the way right now. This film pales in comparison to the pure raw energy and action of Mad Max 2 (The Road Warrior) and it definitely shows in the second half of the film. In the Road Warrior, there was little need to explore in great detail the reasons as for why things went to hell. That film's explaining was done through the use of violent action sequences and it is one my favorite movies of all time. This film appears to be more thought provoking, which normally I would embrace in film yet in this movie it leads to too much talk and not enough action (good action anyways).

One thing I did enjoy and continue to enjoy about this story is the different cultures and ways of life that we are exposed to. I have no idea what director George Miller was doing when he dreamed up this post-apocalyptic world that operates under its own set of primitive rules but he has created a world that is every bit as interesting as Star Wars. Bartertown and Thunderdome are some of the greatest ideas ever conceived for a film. The battle inside the domed arena is one I don't think I'll ever forget. I also enjoyed being introduced to a completely different subgroup consisting of children that have survived in a lush, green strip of forest that has a source of water.

However, it is here where coincidently things get hampered by childish- like action. The rest of the movie's action scenes are like something I would expect to see in Ghostbusters or Indiana Jones. Which would be fine if this film didn't take itself so seriously in the early goings of the story. The final sequence is truly disappointing because it attempts to go for too much comical action and it just can't compete with the final chase in the Road Warrior. I would still recommend this film to those who enjoy sci-fi or action movies but beware of its flaws.

Honestly folks, this film is really not that bad providing that you can sit through a typical slasher formula flick. There are some surprisingly tense and claustrophobic scenes in this one, which as far as I am concerned easily make this the best of the series. It's also a lot of fun as it continues the story of the first movie with the debut of the infamous Jason Voorhees. Although I have always felt that Friday the 13th movies are really just Halloween clones, movies like this can be enjoyed as long as you don't take them too seriously and allow yourself to become too submerged in the often ridiculous elements that make up slasher films. And by the way, as weird as this may sound, I truly think that Jason's clothing and hood in this movie are much more twisted and scary looking than the garb he wore in all the other sequels. If I saw a hooded, demented hillbilly running at me with a pitchfork, I'm not afraid to admit that I might scream like a wee little school girl. Check this one out.