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3/10
Instead of a movie they made a audio book
22 December 2023
When you have a camera in your hand, why do you choose to make a audio book?

All they do is talk and talk and talk and talk.

Instead of telling us, show us! You have a camera, right?

This audio book is not worth the time.

Everything need to be explained with words instead of pictures. And when the characters needs to be introduced, they are so with the standard book of filming. "Films for dummys". This person is evil, he has to kill someone. These soldiers are evil, they have to be pigs. This girl needs to be the hero, she has to kill the evil soldiers.

I actually thought this film was supposed to be ok. But after 1 hour of talking I turned the TV off and went to bed.

Tomorrow I will cancel my Netflix account, finally.
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The 5th Wave (2016)
1/10
Dont waste your time...
31 January 2023
Don't waste your time watching this movie. It is lackluster, utterly boring and slow, none of the actors seem to want to be there, playing their role.

From the moment the movie starts it is just flat and never seems to pick up.

I get that it is supposed to be a teen-flick, but it is treating the teens like they are absolutley braindead. It's like an adult asked another adult what teens actually like, rather than asking the teens what they like.

The animations are just bad and they never connect with the world the actors are supposed to be living in. And since there are no real threats to the actors, they fail to convince me as an audience that they are under any threat. So I just sit there, bored, shaking my head over the complete mess that is unraveling before my eyes.

Please do not watch, for your own sake.
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The Gray Man (2022)
1/10
Let's waste money on CGI
26 August 2022
My god, this film is just an perfect example of not knowing what to do or how to do it. If you don't need to do it in CGI, don't do it.

It looks bad, I lost interest in it, it looks fake and therefore I don't feel like the main character is in any danger. Why bother, he is in front of a green screen.

Bad story, I have no clue why The Gray Man is good at doing what he does. Hos dad had it coming, but what else? The side character, what and who and why?

The main villan... Was he forced to play this role?

Don't waste your time on this horrible mess of a movie.

Book of Eli, John Wick, Equalizer, Jason Bourne, Leon. All good films, watch them instead.
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9/10
All emotions on board!
14 May 2021
As I write this review on my smart Phone, I tap and swipe, whilst sitting on the toilet. According to latest movie I watched, that would be a big "NO NO"!

I am a father of two, married and drive a family station wagon. I have a full time work and late one friday eavning, I watched "The Mitchells vs the Machines".

I was tired, and started the movie on a single tought: Nothing better to watch, this will do...

I had seen the title and watched parts of the trailer. But I was not ready for what was to come.

It kind of reminded me of gumball, a series my oldest kid introduced me to. This kind of wierd machup of live videos, reality mixed up with cartoons. And I think it was a good thing, because it set me up to have an open mind. Prepare for anything and everything!

And that is what this movie is all about. Slapstick jokes, your daily dose of internet, wierd stuff, emotions and warm fluffy feelings. It's like an Orchestra of what I can find on Youtube. Good or bad.

But whitout the fuzz of having to deal with commersials or "reacts to".

And with an open mind, I was hooked.

It's not perfect, I'll give you that as an heads up.

But I think it can be something for everyone in a family. From dad, mom, grandma and kids.

I laughed and cried, both at the same time.

It could be this stupid punchline or that slapstick joke combined with me beeing tired. But I really enjoyed every part of it.

From all mentioned above, down to the core of the story: Family, and father/daughter relationship. What do you do as a father when your kid grows up, and you loose that way of having a good connection. When she was a kid, you were best pals. You could play games, laugh, be best buds and you could be the safe place when she was sad. "Love you dad, love you kiddo!" Then she turned 15, and you went from beeing best dad to most embarassing dad.

That is the core of this film, and that is what I loved most about it. A silly and stupid animated movie, making me laugh so hard I started crying. And also a deep story about a family, about a doughter and her dad, that also made me cry.

Loved it, absolutley loved it.
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I Am Mother (2019)
9/10
Brilliant!
11 February 2021
I loved this film, from the wery start to finish.

It has something that I've ben missing in many movies latley. That kind of tension and suspence that dosn't rely on jumpscares. You get drawn in and you have this feeling that things are not what it seems. Under the surface, something is really wrong. That suspence dosn't present it self with a jumpscare timed to some loud nocies. No, it creeps up at you slowly. Adding different elements to the story that just strengthen your feeling towards what you think you know.

Then you are forced to make a decition, abandon your feeling or stay with it? Am I right, am I wrong?

Not a fast paced action sci-fi. This is a suspens movie, a smart one.

So if you are searching after some classics like Alien 2 or Terminator. Not that kind of movie. This is the film that suits you that appriciate films like Unbrakable.
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Raised by Wolves (2020–2022)
3/10
A complete mess
11 February 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I've seen the complete first season episode 1-10. Got lured in by a trailer, reading about it and got my hopes up. Would this be the sci-fi show that I longed for?

After a somewhat promising start, the story just becomes a complete mess. It just feels like the writers has been chasing ghosts, writing down every stupid idea that came to mind and then put in into production. I can't get a grasp on what I should feel, or what they want me to feel. The story is so clumpsy and off, nothing dragging me forward or keeping the tension up.

Dosn't help that most of the actors/actress feels disconected from the show it self. Its like, "I have no clue what my character is supposed to be or act like..." I have not sympaty or feelins for any of the main characters. You don't really care what will happen to them. Ok, they murdred this kids parents, pretended to be them. Kid finds out by mysterious voices in his head. Shoots the mother and I feel nothing. They never made it so that you have something to grab on to.

I'm no Walking Dead fan, but I watched a couple of seasons. There I would feel so mad or sad, when they were killing of different characters. If it was that person that didn't deserve it, or the person that you wanted to see dead because of his/hers behaviour. You felt something for the main characters. There is NOTHING like that in Raised By Wolves.

Oh, there goes another one. Ok, just move along.

And back to the story. Ok, they are colonising this planet. They have no food except from this plant that they can eat. Just happens to turn out that it's radioactive. The android can analyse different types of substances, if it's possible to eat or not. You would guess that they should be able to detect something beeing radioactive, but no. So they only had one source of food, but one kid still manage to survive. Eating this radioactive plant... For 12 years. Yeah, right. They can drive a rescue pod with the plant as fuel, Im pretty sure that eating that plant for 12 years might have had a bigger impact on the last surviving kids well beeing.

I don't buy it.

And those creatures lurking around, sort of human looking. They just stayed off the radar for 12 years. "They move at night, that is perhaps why we didn't see them..." Stop beeing so stupid! You are supposed to be an higher intelect AI of some sort. You are on a foreign planet that you know nothing about, care to look out for potential threats? And I actually don't bother to find out if they will understand the origin och what these creatures actually is. Season 2 will come and go, and I won't watch it. I will keep my eyes open for something else, because if season 2 is as bad as season 1, I could not care less.

Avoid, unless you want to spend the time looking at something and has nothing better to do.

One good thing might be the character "Mother". Only actress that actually deliver.

And speeking of "Mother". Have you watched "I am Mother"... There you are in for some really fine sci-fi tension.
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10/10
Out of words...
5 October 2020
I'm out of words. I came across this movie when a group of cgi people discussed the lower frame rate. Added for a reason. That the frame rate would increese as our hero grows into his full potentional... does one have to say anything more?

I pressed play and instantly fell in love. Best film I watched in a long time, hands down. An instant favorite!
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The Thing (I) (2011)
2/10
When CGI is that bad...
9 September 2020
I read that some reviewers think this is a good interpretation of a classic. I'm saying it's a degrading copy of the original.

When CGI is that bad, there is no excuse. CGI everywhere, and it's so obvious. The chopper in the opening sceene is just so bad, the surroundings and the ice. The tracked vehicle that just sticks out like a huge spliter in my eye, it hurts so bad. Just a quick, "lets try to make some bucks out of a classic horror movie!". Instead of quality, they go for quantity and jump scares. No finess and no feel for the art of a tru horror. Just add some loud noices and a "booh" moment.

This film should not have been made, and I think it shows when you see the line up of actors/actress.

All across bad and dull. But I guess it's not entirly down to the actors/actress. It can't be easy playing an entire film against a green screen. Where is the feeling?

Remember the sceene from Ailien when the embryo hatches out of Kane's chest. The rest of the crew was not informed about what was about to happen and their reaction to the blood spraying all over them, that was a genuine reaction from the actors.

That is how you make a sceene special!

Not just by adding more CGI, more music, more sound. MORE MORE MORE.

When a film scare me just by beeing smart, by beeing sneeky. When music and sounds is in a perfect harmony. Don't rush into it, make me feel the tension rising. This film just don't live up to the standards of a good horror. It falls flat as a cheap knock off, from some one just in it for making some quick bucks.

Not worth the while, skip this one.
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Joker (I) (2019)
7/10
A one man show
31 August 2020
I was quite glad to see that this hyped film was relesed on a stream platform a couple of days ago. Sat down and had quite high expectations, regarding the high praises this movie recived.

I will try to keep this review short, as I feel that most things have been said.

This film is a one man show, this is all about Joaquin Phoenix's performance. He is giving it all to prove to the aduiance that he, he is the Joker. And I truly feel that his portrait and acting is what makes this movie worth watching. He is the Joker, down to the bones. But if you have one actor doing his best performance ever, the rest has their work cut out for them.

And this is why I can't give this film the top rating. If I were to rate the Joker only on Joaquin Phoenix acting, I would give it a 10/10 every day. I would say, you have to watch it just because of him. But since this film is about more, since it has more levels to it, I can't give it the top rating. It dosn't deserve it, because it fails in other aspects.

The other actors dosn't deliver the same passion, and it almost feels like they all given up. "I can't compete with Joaquin Phoenix, let's just get it over with..." Frances Conroy's portrait as the mother, I never felt for her. There was no history to it, like they just met. Same goes for the entire family of Wayne. Not at all convincing, it felt like the actors never even wanted to do these roles. Same goes for Robert De Niro. Just doing it for the pay check?

And this goes for the entire story as well. If Joaquin Phoenix hadn't pulled of this amazing performance, I think the audiance would have been more aware of the thin story, the misses and pot holes. But they are there, clear as day.

I would say that the quote from Catch me if you can is quite suited: "Why do the Yankees always win? The other team can't stop looking at the pinstripes."

Why did the Joker get so hyped, because the audiance couldn't stop stare at Joaquin Phoenix.

I still recomend you to watch it, but don't be supriced if you feel a bit let down by the film.
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2/10
They could do it in 1991...
31 March 2020
The year was 1991. Almost 30 years has passed since White Fang hit the cinemas. How come that we could film a movie in 1991 without CGI, and now we just put up a green screen and smile for the "dog" Harrison. It's so obvious, and so fake. My brain is telling me the entire movie: That dog ain't real! How can I connect and try to build some kind of relationship towards a dog that is fake. Nothing can harm it, it's not a real dog!

Nah, not worth it. It really is like they say: Things was better before...
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1/10
Charchters not true to original
2 September 2019
Overall the quality behind the stories are following the series from 1969. Almost the same, with some changes.

But for some reason the charchters has changed to the worse, ruining the entire show.

The crooks, are now a pair of idiots. The cops, are now a pair of idiots. Mrs Pruselius, is portraited as pure evil. The horse, a walking corpse. And Pippi, lacking the soul of what makes her to her.

Stay away from this show. Stay with the series from 1969.
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Annihilation (I) (2018)
3/10
Whait, what?
12 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Why don't I ever learn? Never ever trust a fine cut trailer. It's like: "Whoo, hooo! Check me out, I'm an epic film about sci-fi stuff!"

So, ofcourse I watched it and expected an epic film time. Kind of dissapointed, the least to say.

Just for starters, the movie sets the tone quite nice. It got that look, that tells me that I'm in for a treat. The music and sounds feels mysterius and dark, works well with the picture.

But when the story get's going, that's when everything falls apart. The tone, music and looks can't carry the entire movie all by it self, it needs some assistance. But it aint getting it!

Flashbacks and epic jumps in storytelling makes up for a confusing story. Big gaping holes, unravels before my eyes. "Whait, what?" There is a scene where our five female companions wake up after entering the shimmer. No one remembers anything from the last days. They can tell by their ransons that they been there for a significant time, but they don't know for sure. They got no sence of directions or when they even set up camp. I sit there like, ok. And then they just drop that for the rest of the film, never talk about it again.

So time works different in the shimmer... and then? Nope, there is nothing more to it. Our female compadres walks on and remebers everything like normal and the days seems to go on without memory gaps. These holes in the story, I don't really enjoy them.

And talking about our female gang. Someone has to die first, like always. And I don't know if I wasnt paying attention, or if my memory is bad. But when the first lady get's grabbed by our mystery monster of the eavning, I actully had no clue to who actually got eaten. And I'm not talking about our crocodile Dundée moment, I'm talking about the bear Grylls moment. Who got eaten? They scream out a name, but I can't really remember who that name belonged to. There are five female characters, and they failed to make any of them important. Could be because I zooned out from time to time, just because the film got boring. Or a case of bad writing, I don't really know. Would be nice to actually feel something for at least one of the characters.

And the movie just clumpsy stumbels on, deeper into the shimmer. Some flashbacks thrown in from time to time, adding to the runtime but nothing added to the story. Ok, so she is a sad person who owes her husband something. Was it because she had an affair or because she painted the bedroom without approval from husband? They walk, they die, they cry and they look bored. At least one feeling they managed to make me feel also. Time runs on and one of our bright minds suddenly understand everything and decides that she wants to embrace the event, turning into a flower? Three? Bush? Ok, whait what?

So our "hero" is now alone. At this point, I actually didn't care anymore. I wanted the film to end! Looked at the timer and... MY GOD, there is actually 35 minutes left! Wishing that the end credits were going to be 30 minutes.

Long time ago I was this bored.

To sum things up: Another review said: The film doesn't know what it wants to be. Action, sci-fi, horror or drama? What is it? If I see past every crack in the story, every dip and turn, it's just a film without soul that don't belong anywhere.
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1/10
Perfectly good waste
13 January 2017
I have seen the old Ghost Busters movies, and sure, they don't add up to my top list among the greatest. They ain't flawless, if I say so. But they have something, something that makes you smile. I remember the first sceen in the basement of the library, when I watchted it as a kid. That scared me, even if it wasn't that scary. And now as a grownup, I can enjoy that moment and laugh. Because it has stood the test of times. It still works! I actually get a bit scared, even if I watched it so many times. And at the same time, I laugh, because it is so well executed.

When they announced the new Ghost Busters movie, I got really excited. I like some of the actress, and I think Kristen Wiig is a diamond in the rough. She has a weird way of acting, but it suits her and makes for some great comedian moments. I made this ideas about what the movie would be about, how they would incoperate the old Ghost Busters into the new. Aw man, thay have so many good things going for them. Served on a silver platter! ... But that was in my head, my idea of what this movie COULD be.

Then I watch it, and I cant believe how they managed to butcher the Ghost Busters franchise so bad.

  • First of all, I do not have anything against the female leads. Like I said, one of them is on my top 10 favorite female actress. I blame the writers and directors!


What was that first intro, and what is that font? "Ghostbusters"... The music starts playing, it is that old song. "If there something strange, in your.........." MUTE Whait, what now? So they add a text and play the iconic song from the old movies. But only for a brief moment. Then it is cut, just like that. It feels like the director actually don't want to use that song, but still have to add it for the old fans that watched the old movies. "Hey, give them like 5-10 seconds of the themesong, that will probably do..."

And this is just the intro, but it sets the standard for the rest of the film.

* Stiff acting, without any chemistry. * Weird cutting of the scenes. (lets repeat that scene 4 times, when the ghost gets hit by a train, in case they missed the first time) * Bad timing. * Sad CGI. (That skyscraper did not really look real to me)

But through the movie, they have potetial for some great moments. But they actually don't seem to notice them. They just say: Skip it! And moves on to another scene.

When the character Erin Gilbert talks about her childhood and her memories of the first encounter of a ghost. Why not actually use that to set the tone. Why didn't you start of the movie with that? I would have loved to actually get some background to at least one of the main characters.

And again, I know it isn't the worst thing about this film. But how could you say that those CGI skyscrapers look real?

The film just keeps on struggling on so many levels. From the stiff acting, weird one-liners, lack of feeling etc.

But the worst thing by far is the story it self. From the writer to the director. They have not manged to create something that stands up to the old films. Not by far! This is not the best they could have done and it's sad to see that they wasted a perfectly good moment to shine!
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50/50 (2011)
8/10
Great film, not what I expected...
4 December 2011
I start by saying that I give the film 8/10, but the score could have been higher if not Seth Rogen was a part of the cast.

The film have a deeper emotion that speaks to me, but at the same time makes me laugh. It starts of like most of the comedies I have seen, slow and easy. The characters is given room to be presented and their personalities take form. But then the film takes a turn that I didn't expect. It turns more and more into a drama and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is absolutely brilliant through the hole thing. But I'm really confused why the second role have been given to Seth Rogen. He cant act on a deeper level. His expressions are a bit limited. And that drops my score for this film. If Seth Rogen could have been cut out of this film, it would have been soo mush better.

But the film holds up and I really liked it!
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Rubber (2010)
Artistic movies, you don't understand...
12 July 2011
The thing is, I looked at some of the other reviews and I could see one common thing. You watch this movie with your mind set to: "Hollywood next!" This is'nt one of those films! This film should be watched with the mind set to: "Artistic and strange!"

Call it an homage to "No reason". You can look for a more stupid film and never find it, because this film lack everything. All you see unfolding before your eyes happens with no reason! At the end nothing can be answerd, you wont be smarter, you wont now where to put it in your collection and you don't really now how to describe it. Just because it's an artistic movie. It's not supposed to be brilliant and fun, not there to join Transformers at the top of the billboard. It's there to be different, and therefor you only should wathc it with that in mind. Because thats the only way you will be able to appriciete it!

Great movie that gave me a lot of laughs and a lot of "no reasons": "Why did he nock over those chairs?" "Why did he travel in the trunk?" "Why did he pour out that glass of water?" "Why did he jump into the pool?" "Why did he destroy that bottle?" "Why why why..."

NO Reason!
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Zombieland (2009)
5/10
Fun, but not that fun...
6 February 2010
Okey, I'm not an expert in the art of writing in English so this will be a short review.

Saw this movie with my friends on a bluray DVD and 5.1. I can say that I had pretty high expectations about this film. And the beginning did not disappoint me. Lovely, funny and lot's of disgusting, disturbing but still funny pictures rolled out before my eyes.

But then, after about 20 minutes I found my self sitting there, quiet. Felt a bit tired, started to think about next day... what I should eat for dinner. The movie had some were along the way lost both it's legs and was now slowly dragging along. Here and there I got some laughs. But that was it, suddenly the movie ended. Some running and shooting for 10 minutes and a stupid ending, just like that.

Sure, the movie was fun, but not that fun. Woody Harrelson was the best part of the movie, perfect for the role as Tallahassee. But he alone could not make this movie work in the long run.

Seen how other people compare this film to "Shaun Of The Dead", I can not understand that. Shaun Of The Dead is a masterpiece in it's genre, this can not be said about "Zombieland", a movie that cant handle the long long weary long 88 minutes! "Thin" is a good word for the film.

You can watch it, sure,it's entertaining. But nothing else.
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