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6/10
Not nearly as good as the praise it gets
17 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The good first. Eternal Darkness provides a millenia-spanning story of gods and demons and ancient texts that is intriguing if more than slightly convoluted. The game also includes one of the coolest elements that was incredibly original: Sanity's meter. If your character has low sanity you experience sanity effects. Maybe your protagonist will walk into a room and have their limbs sliced off only to scream "this can't be happening!" Maybe the volume will act like it's lowering. Maybe the game will tell you it's deleting all your save files! It's definitely the selling point of the game.

Now. The controls. Oh my GODDD!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! I had to actually give up. I was playing as Peter Jacob and gave up on the boss fight. The controls haven't aged well at all, they're clunky, confusing, and downright frustrating.

The boss in my playthrough was a giant blue squid. First you gotta dodge some stuff and then attack it. Stage 2 time. It'll send zombies to get you but you gotta do the magic attack at the right point. Nope sorry not like that! It's gotta be at the exact moment! Now! Oh sorry YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MAGIC TO CAST THAT SPELL. Finally, stage 3! It stomps you a million times so you have to evade its giant feet in a small tiny circle and then attack it. Oh you don't have enough magic? Bummer! Oh you got hit? Guess you can't run! Oh look you're dead. FOR THE TWENTY-EIGHTH TIME.

The magic in this game is infuriating as is all combat. You'll be forced to fight foes who can kill you after they do this weird ritual where they all die in unioson but it can also kill you? Ok now you need to slice people's heads off in this small narrow hallway. Oh you can't swing your sword? Oh look you died aga-well you get it.

Look this game definitely has its moments. The story is awesome (but again hard to follow and sometimes downright goofy). The non-combat parts are fine. I liked walking around the mansion and discovering things. But everything else. One word: Frustrating.
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Futurama: Rage Against the Vaccine (2023)
Season 11, Episode 7
8/10
Best episode so far!
9 September 2023
Makes sense they would do a Covid episode, perhaps a little late but that's ok! Containing plenty of hilarious parodying of the virus and how people behaved, I think it's the best one so far next to the Amazon episode. While Covid in our world made everybody sick, the virus in Futurama makes everyone pissed off. In our world no one understood how to wear a mask. To the point where posters in the subway had to be telling people how to wear mask the correct way. The scene with all of them wearing masks incorrectly is hilarious! In the end, it's not science but voodoo that fixes everything. Maybe that's what we needed? But for now, I'm going with trusting science and not being a complete, brainless, childish idiot who still thinks the whole thing was a hoax. Can you believe people like that exist?!

I also laughed hysterically at

"Kill all human!"

"Bender! Can robots also get the virus?"

"What virus?"

Hulu's Futurama reboot is having a little trouble finding its footing. But episodes like this give me hope.
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Ted Lasso: Man City (2021)
Season 2, Episode 8
8/10
Great except for two things
15 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The huge reveal here was Ted Lasso's big confession which was major character development. I knew there was something huge from his past that he was bottling up inside which made him so averse to therapy. I didn't realize it would be that shockingly heavy. Lasso is beginning to open up instead of shooting off quip after quip which comes off as a defense mechanism. This was a great episode but there's one small thing and one huge thing that made it so I could not give this a 9 or a 10.

1. Jamie's dad is an absolute caricature. His performance was so completely over the top it made the scene just silly. It was like something from a bad lifetime movie. He is supposed to be a massive jerk, not a D list supervillain from Batman.

2. Sam is way too young. Rebecca is his boss. She shouldn't have kissed him and the ending wasn't romantic it just left a bad taste in my mouth. Let's reverse the roles for a sec. Let's pretend it's a woman's football team and the boss was a man in his fourties' while the girl was 21. Romantic? Or just totally creepy and unacceptable? Well. Same rules apply here. I am only just watching the show now so I have no idea where this thread is going but really hope nothing happens. If they do the deed imma be upset.
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1/10
The worst season of AHS. Or honestly maybe any show ever made.
10 April 2023
I am appalled by how horrendously misguided this season was. I don't think they could possibly sink any lower. The editing was some of the worst editing I have ever seen in my entire life. I understand the message. During the 80s and 90s, millions of gay and bi and queer men were dying from AIDS and health organizations simply were not doing enough to help. This would have been so different if they were heterosexual Weird emoji but ok. I'm all for shows covering this epidemic. But it must be tastefully done. Using a ridiculously sexy ass BDSM monster dude stalking gays and killing them non stop to showcase how men were dying of aids is kind of clever but then you also have ACTUAL AIDS like with the legions. You don't need both. Karl Penn's acting is awful. The leads are boring and forgettable. Ryan Murphy always has such a great cast but NONE of them were present. Jessica Lange, Emma Robert's, Billy Porter, Evan Peters, Sarah Freakin Paulson. NONE OF THEM ARE PRESENT! Boring. Last episode has some of the worst editing I've ever seen, it's nonsensical.

This whole season is a complete waste of your time, please. Don't bother.
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Skinamarink (2022)
1/10
The worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life
8 February 2023
There is nothing here. There's no story, no dialogue, no action, no character development, no good scares other than cheap jump scares. There's no movie here. Nothing. The 90s VHS vibe is literally the only interesting thing about it. But that's all superficial. You need a story. You need something to pull people in and this movie doesn't have that. If that's all you have, your movie looks like an art student's film. An art student from a community college. Who shouldn't be making any kind of films in the first place.

The jump scares were all extremely frustrating. They felt cheap and unnecessary. If all your movie has to scare people are jump scares, that says something. Very late into the film, there's one decent scare that got me pretty good. That's it. The other ones were infuriating.

The biggest Takeaway is that I still do not know what this movie was about. That's not because it flew over my head. It's because this movie sucks.
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8/10
Y'all this wasn't THAT great
19 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Everyone is talking about the lore and how this wasn't a filler episode and yes, finally at the end we get something. But before that, it was total filler! Hooty is a fun character but I like him more in small doses. Him screaming throughout the episode was grating to me. The joke at the end was just so frustrating! That was the only lore we got and it's nothing.

Also ALSO ALSO WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING WITH FAKE LUZ?! WHY IS IT TAKING THIS LONG TO CONTINUE WITH THAT PLOT LINE??? It's very frustrating. Guess I gotta wait.

Well I still have it an 8. Because Luz and aAaaAAAAAmity Finally. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH.
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4/10
Crushing disappointment, some of the worst writing in the series
27 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Wow was this disappointing. I feel like I'm watching the series finale of GoT for the second time. How was this a reveal? How was this a plot twist? We knew he was playing both Vecna and the orderly. I was truly hoping that didn't mean he, this weirdo orderly from Eleven's past could actually be this mighty demon that slays everyone in his way but hey here we go! This CGI is horrendous! Him just being struck by all this lightning, what is this a Lil Nas X video??? Also, there's a character named Mike I believe WHERE IS HE WHERE IS WILL WHERE IS JONATHAN??? I'm baffled by how abysmal the writing has been this season. Hoping the last two eps are alright but this has been a SLOG to get through.
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Steven Universe: Change Your Mind (2019)
Season 5, Episode 28
10/10
The only part I hate about this is that it's over
10 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I cried a whole lot at this finale. It was absolutely perfect in every way. I thought there was another season and then SU Future and didn't realize this was the last ep of the original run. So when it was over it really hit me. It felt like a finale. I love how all the gems had a perfect redemption arc and the final scene with Steven being separated from his gem was so emotional. There were a few questions/theories I had that were never answered or explained but I guess that's fine. Seeing all the fusions especially the four of them together for the first time was so cool, I SCREAMED at my TV. This show is so well done and cute and emotional and I can't believe it's over.

Thank god there's Future and the movie. After that's over I don't know what I'll do.
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Family Guy: Send in Stewie, Please (2018)
Season 16, Episode 12
1/10
One of the worst
1 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Easily one of the worst episodes of all time.

Stewie's monologue is irritating. It's poorly written, unfunny, and uninteresting. In fact, I didn't laugh once throughout this whole episode. Even worse was Stewie's Hamilton rendition, where he gets a little snot bubble that grows and grows until it starts swinging around and eventually ends up in his mouth. Brilliant.

What I hated most about this episode (other than having a full episode dedicated to Stewie and then giving him zero character development) was the reveal that his British accent was fake. I refuse to believe that. That's one of the dumbest things they have ever done on the show.

Nope.
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1/10
Worst episode of Family Guy ever
10 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I hate this episode with a burning passion. There's absolutely no humor in it despite the fact that they attempt to add slices of humor in a domestic abuse situation. And guess what?? It doesn't work! Jeff isn't even a character. He's a caricature. He screams all the time and makes this episode just thoroughly unpleasant to watch. I felt like I was watching an abusive relationship and there was nothing I could do. So what does the gang do? They decide to MURDER HIM(?!)

Joe is a cop! Why doesn't he come up with a plan to hide recording devices in Quagmire's house to get evidence of his abuse? Actually, why doesn't he just straight up arrest Jeff? He witnessed the abuse! But no Quagmire winds up murdering Jeff after a violent fight and then they lie about in front of Brenda who has learned literally nothing. Peter then mentions he'd like to kill another person and thinks of Mort literally RIGHT in front of Brenda who can easily hear this. I'm sorry, what is this??? Also, since when did Peter hate Mort???

Excessively violent, horrifically unpleasant to watch, and not a joke in sight. 1/10

You know what? That's it. I'm out. This is where I leave you, Family Guy.
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Family Guy: Seahorse Seashell Party (2011)
Season 10, Episode 2
6/10
I have to praise the animation here
10 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
That sequence, while absolutely terrifying, is one of the coolest animation sequences I've ever seen. I do think it's strange that Brian had a bad trip on shrooms instead of acid. I've never done LSD but I have done a lot of shrooms and while I have hallucinated a few times while tripping, I've never seen anything like that. I feel like what Brian experienced was much more of a bad acid trip than a shroom trip.

The stuff with Meg started out great. It was tough to watch but I actually love it when Family Guy is brave enough to show real conduct, especially within the family. Meg has been the butt of jokes since the beginning, and it's great to see her finally stand up for herself. But it goes nowhere. No one learns any lesson. The fact that she realizes that she exists solely to be the punching bag of the family was a massive disappointment. I would've loved if there had been an actual change and they decided to lay off her a little bit. You could still do the Meg jokes but they wouldn't be so mean to her as they did in the past. It was getting tedious.

So yeah the Meg stuff doesn't go anywhere and it's disappointing. But the Stewie/Brian story is wild. It's violent and gory but like I said, that particular animation sequence of Brian experiencing this nightmare trip is just incredible. Also, seeing Stewie comfort Brian is so nice and I wish they did more of that. They have such a weird dynamic. They love each other but Brian can be such a jerk to Stewie and Stewie literally almost killed Brian a few times. They're the best part of the show.
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Barry: forgiving jeff (2022)
Season 3, Episode 1
10/10
Edge of my seat
25 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
It's only the first episode of Season 3 and I was already on the edge of my seat at the end. Gene is such a great character, I really don't want anything bad to happen to him. So I was pleading with Barry not to do anything stupid and thankfully he decides to show mercy and work towards forgiveness. NoHo Hank is as funny as ever and he's in an adorable relationship with Christobel which put a big dumb smile on my face. Just seeing the two of them together in bed was so cute. Fuches's days are numbered. Wouldn't be surprised if he didn't make it to Season 4. Sally is becoming an unlovable narcissist and it's not a good look for her. So excited for this season.

I do NOT understand the people rating this a 5 or below. Are we watching the same show???
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Seinfeld: The Betrayal (1997)
Season 9, Episode 8
8/10
Very clever
31 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The Memento episode! Told backwards, this episode starts with the closing titles and ends with the Seinfeld logo. Maybe it's the bizarro world?? The plot isn't the funniest and the side plot with Kramer is a little odd but the way the story unfolds is clever. Love the details in this like Kramer's lollipop becoming bigger and bigger as time moves backwards. Might not be the funniest and at times, a little hard to follow but this was a clever idea done right. Good writing. Also, drunk Elaine is the best Elaine. Give her more Schnapps!

The Seinfeld/Kramer meeting at the end was a really nice touch.
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Family Guy: Jerome Is the New Black (2009)
Season 8, Episode 7
1/10
Quagmire proves he is the single worst character on the show
20 March 2022
One of the worst episodes of Family Guy ever. When we get to the dinner scene here's what Quagmire says after Brian attempts to get on his good side.

"You constantly hit on your best friends wife"

Ok well guess what Glen, so do you! You spy on her like a creep and keep pictures of her in your house. Brian had one episode where he tried to sleep with Lois. Since then he actually isn't hitting on her anymore. Oh by the way didn't you also sleep with your other friends wife?? Seems a little hypocritical...

"All you do is date bimbos"

Brian dated Jillian, who yes, is a total bimbo. But he's dated a ton of intelligent women. Literally dated a 50 year old woman two episodes before this one. He was on some bachelor show and found the woman he was into was smarter than he thought. Brian values intelligence.

"I date women for their bodies but at least I'm honest about it"

You're literally a rapist. You don't date women. You take them to your house, roofie them, and then use weird contraptions in your house to force them to give you oral sex. We've seen this when Peter and friends are at his bachelor pad house.

"What have you done to help?? I work down at the soup kitchen Brian, never seen you down there!"

Brian and Stewie literally got weed legalized in Quohog through a catchy dance number. Then de-legalized with another song and dance routine. Have YOU ever done that Quagmire? I don't think so.

"Oh wait you don't believe in Jesus Christ!"

JESUS IS LITERALLY ON THE SHOW. How the hell could Brian NOT believe in a character WHO HE AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY HAVE MET SEVERAL TIMES?!

"You failed college twice!"

Your best friend, who is legally mentally handicapped, failed the second grade and had to go back and repeat a bunch of grades, never hear you calling him out for that.

"See ya Brian! Thanks for the f***ing steak"

After Glen berates Brian in a thoroughly unpleasant and rude monologue he leaves. Seems to be a nice restaurant. He doesn't leave any money on the table. Didn't he just talk about how Brian mooches off of people and says "I'll get you later" but never pays them back. So now you're gonna just make Brian pay for everything Glen. That's ok??

Let's talk about you Quagmire. You hold women hostage against their will. You're a flat out rapist something you have admitted to on NUMEROUS occasions. You're incredibly transphobic. You're racist (which to be fair so is Brian, but even Brian notices when he's being racist and is trying to work on it.) In the previous episode you gave up your daughter because you weren't man enough to be a father despite being sixty years old and despite her being your total responsibility because you were too stupid and irresponsible to wear a condom. You then mentioned that you don't want her to go to "sand people" You tag women and treat them like objects. You told Jerome you were keeping a woman in your basement and needed to feed her. Brian was a actually trying to mend the relationship. But Quagmire proves to be the most insufferable, offensive, despicable, hypocritical, whiniest, pathetic character on the show.

Also here's one last thing. Your best friend, Peter Griffin MURDERED YOUR CAT. AND YOU ARE STILL BEST FRIENDS WITH HIM. But yeah no, screw Brian for being pretentious.

Shut up, Glen.
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Seinfeld: The Package (1996)
Season 8, Episode 5
8/10
George story line is hilarious, Elaine's is just alright
28 February 2022
The George story line is classic, we all know the phrase "The Timeless Art of Seduction" and the modeling scene with Kramer as the photographer is hilarious.

Elaine's story is funny but the idea that no doctor will see her is a little ridiculous.

Also, I just feel like there's way too much going on, the write off and the stereo, the possible bomb, the photo girl, the rash...writing could've been more concise. But it's a great ep just for the George storyline. That moment when the guy working at the photo place gives him a sly grin and George looks at him like "hiii???"
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8/10
Once again I just do not get the hate
24 February 2022
I don't understand it. This is one of the best of the later episodes. Features one of the most terrifying scares with Madame Visage. When she reveals her face with the white eyes. It's got a great ending too, truly creepy. 5!-5 that is genuinely terrifying! So why a 3.6 rating??? What makes this episode so terrible????? It doesn't make any sense to me.

Also the one with the photo was awful and yet it has an 8.8 rating....like wth. Ratings here don't make sense for Seasons 6 and 7.
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8/10
I do NOT understand the low rating
23 February 2022
It's a very silly but also pretty dark episode with a rare bad ending which are always fun. I love the spoiled rich kid and the relationship between him and the cool kid. There's some spooky imagery with the characters they meet in the underground tournament area, particularly the woman with no eyes. Season 6 seems like the weakest one but this is a hidden gem. It does not deserve a bizzare sub-4 rating. On the other hand, Gourmets and Hunter definitely do.
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South Park: City People (2022)
Season 25, Episode 3
8/10
Funniest episode in a while
21 February 2022
It might be Because I live in NYC and I was actually a real Estate agent for a couple years but this episode was hilarious. The way the city people act like chickens who can only say things like "Tesla" and "MacBook" is hilarious and never stops being funny. I did miss seeing the other 3 boys and I usually prefer when everyone is involved but this was a lot of fun. Crazy to me that South Park is in its 25th season and unlike other animated adult shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons it's still going strong.
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Seinfeld: The Invitations (1996)
Season 7, Episode 22
5/10
Mixed feelings here
20 February 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The Jerry story is hilarious and man Janine is adorable! I love how they bond over their love of cereal! That being said the way they wrote Susan out of the show is just wrong. It's weak, lazy, and ultimately unfunny. Also, George is my favorite character but seeing him feel NOTHING about the death of his fiancé makes me feel icky.

Justice for Lily!!!
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Family Guy: 420 (2009)
Season 7, Episode 12
7/10
Song is great, Quagmire's plot line is awful
29 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I loved the Bag of Weed song but Peter killing Quagmire's cat was not funny at all and completely unnecessary. Had nothing to do with anything else and then we move right to something totally different. Just violent and unfunny.

The scene with Tom and Diane and Olly was HILARIOUS. "How's the weather Olly?" "Not too bad"
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6/10
Not sure why some of these ratings are so low
13 January 2022
After watching "The Forever Game" and this one I'm not sure I understand the low score. Granted, it's definitely one of the weaker ones. But it's still fun. Forever Game was even better. The Manaha one wasn't great so I can understand that rating. But this one was fun. Reminded me of when I had my lil tomogatchi as a kid.
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Steven Universe: Alone at Sea (2016)
Season 3, Episode 15
10/10
This episode is incredible
12 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
It starts out as another innocent adventure but eventually the fun is ruined when Jasper shows up again. The writing in this is spectacular. All the language Jasper uses in order to "win" Lapis back is everything a toxic person would say to an ex-partner who doesn't deserve them. "This time it'll be different! I've changed!" Things I'm sure a lot of people have heard before. I'm sure this resonated with a lot of people. I clapped and shouted "YES!" At my screen when Lapis stood up for herself and knocked Jasper off the boat with her powers. But I'm sure that's not the last I'll see of Jasper (yes I'm watching this for the first time😌)
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6/10
A couple interesting things but chances are, you're already familiar with most of these.
6 October 2021
I didn't know about The Wilhem Scream's origins so that was neat. Rob Lowe is likable enough as the host but there's just enough here to justify its own existence. Why not go more into depth? Who doesn't already know about most of these cliches? The jump scare, the magical Negro (how could they not mention that genius Key and Peele sketch?), the White savior etc. Montages??? I would've loved to hear about cliche quotes such as "It's quiet...too quiet" etc. Origins of where the quotes came from etc. Maybe this would've worked better as a series that went more in depth and talked about cliches you might not know are cliches but as it is, it's just fine. Worse ways to spend an hour.
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7/10
I just had to write a review because of all the talk about "race-baiting"
22 July 2021
You all have no idea what you're talking about. This stuff is happening in the world whether you like it or not. It makes sense that a white cop in Baltimore would racially profile Sam because he's black. It's actually really cool of Disney to put that in there. Racism exists. Stop whining and get the hell over it.

As for the show itself, it's just not on the same level as Loki or the best one: WandaVision.
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Star vs. the Forces of Evil: Cleaved (2019)
Season 4, Episode 21
7/10
Mostly satisfying ending - despite a few unanswered questions
29 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Writing this at almost 4 am as I have finally finished this show after watching it for the past few years (Jesus) I don't know why it took so long. It's a great show. But I got distracted and kept starting and stopping and restarting and anyway I just finished it. Was hoping the last episode would blow me away. The ending did. But...

First things first, I'm so happy they wind up together. I would've been so angry if after all that "will they/won't they" and that amazing satisfying kiss in a previous episode they still don't end up together. But they did! But there's a few things

No more Glossaryk, no more high commission, no more Heckapoo, who Marco had a strong connection with. They're kind of forgotten about. But this biggest thing is, without magic or another portal...will Marco ever see his family again? His parents? His little sister? I loved the battle, I loved the build up and the decision to get rid of magic was a tough one. But it did feel rushed. But the stuff between Marco and Star was so perfect. I love this show and I love Star and Marco so much. But it felt like the show forgot there were also other characters. Heckapoo was an amazing character and we don't even know what happened to her but we can assume it's not great. If Rhomulus and Omnitrex are like...dead. Then we can only assume...

Anyway. The episodes leading up were all either 9 or 10. Wanted to give this last one a 10. But I'm going with an 8. I'm slightly disappointed actually. But only slightly. The animation was incredible and I'm so happy Starco is canon as they say. Just felt a little bit rushed.
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