Reviews

Feels just like a 90s late night Cinemax movie and that might be the only reason it gets more than one star for me. The movie's two hours long and it just feels never-ending. It is terribly, terribly written.

Sydney Sweeney is, lamentably, a terrible actress. I've seen a few things she's in, hearing and reading that she's the next big thing but, my goodness, what a disaster. Don't wanna pick on her; EVERYONE in this movie is terrible, but she's the breakout star here.

The terrible dialogue and lack of chemistry between everyone makes me so upset at knowing that there were so many green lights to go ahead and follow through on this garbage.

This movie has some of the worst acting I've ever seen in my life. Skip. Skip skip skip.

The love interest is one of the worst actors I've ever seen. Wondering which love interest? You pick. They're both just awful.

Lohan is bad. We all want her to make a comeback but it's just not gonna happen. She's lost it. She's a bad actress. Period. It's over.

The only thing good about this movie was how adorable the daughter was. She seemed to be the only one understanding how fun this movie should be.

The pacing and editing were gargantually terrible, even for bad/good Christmas movies.

Also, can't escape the Overboard/Frozen parallels. Every single cliché exists in this movie, and it's not for the better.

This movie is crappy. My wife and I put up our Christmas decorations up, made hot toddies, and put on our first Xmas movie with Falling For Christmas... it was a gigantic disappointment. Gotta wash it down with some Scrooged.

Alright, this might not be too obscure of a movie but when it came out it wasn't well received and pretty much ignored causing it to have a huge cult following. The acting by Dunaway as Joan Crawford is so exaggerated that it seems unbelievable that it's a biographical tale. More than Crawford's story as an actress, this movie deals with the painful, abusive, and traumatic upbringing of her daughter Christina (she wrote the book that prompted the making of this movie). Some say Christina made a lot of it up to destroy her mother's reputation but others say it might be quite accurate. Either way, Dunaway's performance as the Screen Queen is uncanny. She embodies every quality of Crawford and watching the movie you forget that it's not really Joan but Faye in the role. Sure, this movie won Razzie Awards and the producers even tried to capitalize with its failure by billing it "The worst mother of them all." Dunaway even goes as far as telling interviewers beforehand that she will not talk about this movie. One can understand her seeing that she was campaigning for an Oscar nod and instead won the Razzie for worst actress but none of that matters because this movie is now seen as a great tragedy and you'll definitely get lost in the story wondering if everything is true. Oh, and the scenes with Faye Dunaway and Mara Hobel, who plays young Christina Crawford, are amazing. It's no wonder she won the Young Artist Award. Seriously, watch it. The "No more wire hangers" scene alone is enough to watch this great film.

Before there was Due Date, there existed a John Hughes gem called Planes, Trains & Automobiles. This might not be so obscure but it definitely deserves a lot more recognition than it gets. John Candy and Steve Martin are in prime form and at their comedic best. This rivals Uncle Buck for Candy's best movie but his tiny perm alone might make it the front runner. It's joke after joke after joke but it's done oh so tastefully. And, as opposed to Due Date, this movie has heart and emotion from beginning to end, something Hughes knows all about. And he wrote it in 3 days. That's how easy it was for him, he wrote scripts in 3-5 days. Crazy. The plot is simple: Steve Martin plays an everyday business man trying to get home for Thanksgiving but with mistakes, cancellations, bad luck, and the most annoying travel companion that embodies everything that one hates when traveling in the form of John Candy, it makes the trip hell for him but enjoyable for us. Every time I watch this movie it makes me sad that Candy and Hughes are no longer with us but if you're like me and you get lost with movies easily, then you appreciate and laugh heartily and sincerely and most importantly with John Hughes movies, innocently at every scene. Why else would this be Steve Martin's favorite movie of his own and one of Roger Ebert's favorite movies of all time? Because it is.

This movie, along with one or two more on this list, fall into a category that will only be appreciated by certain people. I'll be blunt, if you like martial arts movies, like myself, you'll definitely like this movie. If you have an affinity for Bruce Lee, like myself, you'll love this movie. Taimak plays a kung fu student searching for the final level to become a master while also falling for a popular singer and having to save her life. Simple enough but there's so much to this movie that brings you in. Like I said, if you understand and appreciate martial arts and know some of the Chinese culture on it, this movie does it justice in an 80's urban kind of way. Kung fu is seen in a different light with street familiarity and a hip hop vibe. Its ridiculousness somehow fits into the world of martial arts and main stream urban hip hop simultaneously and has to be nothing short of appreciated by anyone that enjoys movies of the genre. I mean, being tied from head to toe and getting out by break dancing can only work in this movie. Two guys glowing a la Dragonball Z while fighting works beautifully in this movie. Taimak, a black adolescent with a normal black family who dresses and acts like a China man can only work in this movie. The fighting scenes are great and the bad guys look like they popped out of a video game reminiscent of Mortal Kombat. A great, great watch that makes you wonder what happened to Julius Carry, I mean, before he died in 2008?

Ahh, 80's Lea Thompson. That'll do it for me, but I'll tell you more reasons to watch this love story. It might be perceived as more of a chick flick but it's not a typical one thanks to the acting and the master of teen angst John Hughes who wrote the screenplay. Stoltz isn't sappy and Thompson brings a lot of depth to a character usually played 2-dimensionally in movies. Masterson plays a tomboy to perfection but is sexy and emotional at the same time. Keith (Stoltz) has a chance to go out on a date with Amanda Jones (Thompson), the most popular girl in school, but the problem is that her ex-boyfriend is also the most popular guy in school and he happens to be a jealous jock. Sounds cliché? Not the way Craig Sheffer plays the jock. He's menacing and intimidating but Keith's way of taking it lightly and without caring is rarely seen in that type of situation. Oh yeah, and his best friend Watts (Masterson) is secretly in love with him. The acting is great in this movie and to be honest, I'm not sure why a lot of people haven't seen or heard of it. To me it's along the lines of Say Anything in terms of a good story and great and engaging acting. Elias Koteas' small part as the problematic high school student is a great one, too. Also, if you're a Back to the Future fan, it's fun to see Thompson and Stoltz together again after he got fired from BTTF. There's so much chemistry between them two that it makes you think how BTTF would have ended up looking.

Before playing Marci Darci in Married… with Children, Amanda Bearse terrified the hell out of me when I first watched this movie. In fact, I just watched Fright Night a couple of months ago and I chuckled nervously after seeing certain scenes thinking, "damn, this is still pretty scary." It's more of a parody of vampire movies, a campy horror flick that has some comedy but with Chris Sarandon as a Dracula-esque vampire, Roddy McDowall as a not-so-famous TV vampire killer, and the special effects, this is a must-see horror movie at any age. Charly (William Ragsdale) suspects his new neighbor (Sarandon) of being a vampire but, naturally, no one believes him so he takes it upon himself to take him down before he steals his girlfriend (Bearse) away from him and turns her into his bride. Sarandon effortlessly delivers as the vampire and McDowall's comedic turned terrified performance are enough to make me watch this but two things deliver and make this movie so good that there's obviously a remake on the way (August 12, 2011 starring Colin Farrell and David Tennant) because of it. Aside from the story and acting and blah blah blah, the special effects and Stephen Geoffreys' performance are awesome to watch. The way they made the vampires is extremely scary. It's not just the typical black eyes, white make-up, and long teeth. No, it's Julia Roberts-sized mouths with shark-type teeth that threaten to rip a chunk off your neck rather than leave two small holes. That and their movements. Fantastic. It might be better than Twilight. ;) The other thing is Stephen Geoffreys. He gives such an eerie and energetic performance that he definitely stands out more than his acting counterparts. His character is an enigma and when he's turned into a vampire he embraces it as much as any top notch actor can. He's phenomenal. Kinda makes you sad that he turned to making gay porn instead of an actual movie career. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Richard Tyson as Buddy Revell is a badass. He's scary as hell and doesn't take crap from anybody… anybody! When Jerry (Siemaszko) is assigned to write a paper about Buddy, he accidentally touches him (whoever touches him gets his ass whooped) causing Buddy to challenge him in a fight in the parking lot at yup, you guessed it, three o'clock. It's fun to watch all the things he does to weasel out of the fight, including paying the toughest school jock only to see him get taken down with ease, and then witnessing how Jerry implodes at how useless all his attempts are. What makes this movie good? Richard Tyson. Nobody could've played Buddy Revell better. If you've seen Kindergarten Cop, it seems like he plays the same character when he used to attend high school. This is one of the only main roles that Siemaszko does and he does it well. A go-to guy as a sidekick in most of his roles (Back to the Future, Stand By Me, Young Guns), he plays the Michael J. Fox card here with his innocent and clumsy look. It's just one of those fun movies you can watch over and over again. Kinda makes me think why Steven Spielberg wanted his name removed from the credits as executive producer but didn't mind that everyone knew that he directed Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

The William Zabka bully trilogy is composed of three of the best 80's movies to come out of the… uh… 80's. Along with The Karate Kid and Back to School, Just One of the Guys benefits from having Billy Zabka as the bad guy. Terry Griffin (Hyser) writes a paper that she thinks is destined to make her an intern at the local newspaper but is turned down because of her gender. No problem, she just dresses like Ralph Macchio and attends the rival school where she'll submit her paper to. There, she encounters our favorite 80's bully, an over-sexual girl admirer, and falls for her best pal Rick (Rohner) who has no clue he is actually a she. Like I said, Zabka makes bullying look easy and fun but who takes the cake in this movie? Not Joyce Hyser, not Clayton Rohner, nor even Zabka but Billy Jane/Jacoby who plays Terry's little sex-crazed brother Buddy. The whole movie sees him wanting to get laid or thinking about anything and everything sexual. His room is plastered with pictures of naked women and he'll hit on anything with boobs. Sounds a bit much but the way he does it is masterful. He carries this mischievous grin throughout that makes it seem like he's aware of what and why he's doing it. He definitely steals the movie from the rest and he's a joy to watch. Again, another great 80's actor that disappeared with a new generation that left him behind.