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The Menu (2022)
9/10
A dish best served charred
8 January 2023
A film equivalent of a bold, deconstructed dish that fills the senses with flavours so deep that they cut deep both physically and emotionally, and after a refreshing mouth cleaner, leave us to to reflect on a menu that is as empty as it is full of reflection and self-reflection. To begin, my first viewing of this mouthful left me empty and recoiling, as I considered it too on the nose, to O. T. T, the equivalent of a dish that is more pleasing to the eye than to the soul, and I dismissed it as immature, didactic and pretentious. But like all great arts,!6dishes that are judged too harshly, my return lead me to re-evaluate my my own pretensions and prejudices, and thereby like a revolving plate I came around 360 degrees to realise this is indeed a post-modern masterpiece that is structured in the very same way it tells its story, like an Eaton mess, it is an experiential film, an experiment holding a deconstructed mirror to human fragility, human inequality, human absurdity; a dish served bloody and cremated, peppered with uncomfortable truths that we all have to swallow, one way or another, whether we like it or not.
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1/10
Anticlimax Marathon
24 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
A more apt title for this film would perhaps been Cliche Alley. It's mediocrity lies in saying so much yet saying absolutely nothing at all during its bloated runtime - an anticlimax marathon of cliches, meaningless drivel and poor character and plot development that you'd expect a seasoned filmmaker like del Toro to have circumvented. Just like his recent outings, namely the equally awful Crimson Peak, this film is just a series of ideas flimsily patched together, with unrealised potential. It's neither a nightmare or a dream, just a poor man's over-budgeted film peppered with stars and forgettable performances. Next.
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Antlers (2021)
10/10
A 'real deal' Horror Masterpiece
31 October 2021
Good evening from the darkness, it's Halloween and predictably I've been gorging myself on horror films; amongst them one that really stands heads, shoulders, and antlers above the rest. 'Antlers' is a rare beast - a slow burning, intelligent, mythological/creature feature horror that's a rare exception to the modern horror film rule - it's high on suspense and minimal, almost non-existent on jump scares. This factor meant it's a film that I actually found scary. The story itself has a folksy, urban legend, indigenous premise, and centres on a mysterious, seemingly parent-less young boy who catches the attention of his teacher, in an idle, working class, deprived small town surrounded by the mountains. I really liked how the film took its time to develop the story, the characters, and themes, with excellent performances, especially from the child actor, all leading to a worth the wait conclusion. Did I mention this film is visually breathtaking, with incredible cinematography, excellent lighting that serves the story rather than spectacle, and minimal CGI, at least only used in conjunction with practice effects. It's rare for a horror film to actually meet/exceed expectations given how saturated the market is, especially in light of VOD platforms like Netflix that churn out more low quality horror than Michael Myers, Jason's and Freddy's kill rates put together, so this one came at me with a surprise... minus the jump scare. Go watch it 👻
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2/10
No Time to Yawn
4 October 2021
Breathtakingly poor screenplay, half-hearted acting, bloated duration with an hour that should have never left the cutting room floor, tired and predictable set-pieces, a waste of Rami Malek's talent, and the curse of a film being so infatuated with making statements that it ends up being a hodge podge homage to previous bonds - like a greatest hits album sung by a wannabe cover artist. But let's be honest, James Bond is a relic of the Cold War and Britain's colonial hangover - way past it's sell-by-date and only here to propagate a sense of importance that Britain in the real world does not have. Thereby it may be fitting that this current and 25th iteration of Bond is a jaded, haggard, bloated and pretentious affair that misses the target and is the laughing stock of the world. How very apt.
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We Are Many (2014)
10/10
In a time of big Lies, the Truth is a revolutionary act
13 August 2021
Stating the obvious is not always such an extraordinary act. But in the current world we live in, in sham "democracies" where truth tellers like Assange are jailed and tortured for revealing war crimes whilst the lying war criminals who committed them walk free without consequence, such a film that states the obvious truth is an extraordinary and revolutionary act. Bravo to Amir and his team for authentically capturing a historic period when the emergence (and re-emergence in some quarters) of people power and principally the anti-war movement took shape, and yet despite the criminal tragedy of the illegal and immoral war that followed despite overwhelming opposition, this movement has laid a seed of peace that continues to grow, even despite the efforts of the evil elites to subdue or control it. As a historical documentary alone, this film brilliantly captures the time and it's diverse voices, and technically it is brilliantly directed, produced, edited, and scored. Some of the giant voices of reason in this documentary have sadly passed away since it's creation (RIP Tony Benn), but the beauty of such a profound document is that their voices and contribution, like those millions of people who turned up to say no to war against Iraq (including me), is that it is enshrined into a record for generations to learn of and be inspired by to action against tyrannous regimes like the one of Tony war criminal Blair. We are many and counting! Ten out of Ten.
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Ghost World (2001)
8/10
A film about nothing and everything...
27 January 2021
Ghostworld, the title that actually corresponds like a mirror image of the world that inhabits a film that is both real and unreal. A world where Enid and Rebecca (like us) observe and ridicule, challenge and mock, and yet are themselves party to its vacuous charms. This unnamed place and time is no background, but a character itself. This Ghostworld is as much a comedy as it is social commentary, and as trivial as it is boundary pushing, but ultimately a funny, odd worldly tale about nothing and everything.
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1/10
Awful, awful, awful!!!
22 October 2020
This is what they call lazy, disinterested, half-arsed "horror", where the sound effects are scarier than the actual story and the lightweight characters and confused mish mash of witless attempt at humour. Presumably the director behind this horror show thinks of himself as some renegade of high art horror except this is more like high fart, and stinks of fast food dresses as haute cuisine, with a side of fries. 1 star out of ten is too generous for this film!
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Into the Wild (2007)
9/10
You'll find yourself in this film...
19 May 2020
Re-Watched 'Into the Wild' today. I last saw it upon its release back in 2007 when I was finishing my masters and stuck in a job I pretended to like, and a persona I pretended to be. I saw it with an old friend, whom due to my fault, I lost contact with many years ago. But to get back to this film, the gravity of this personal story and its truthful nature to the person it was based on goes to the very essence of humanity and how powerful our need is to find ourselves within each other, even when we do our best to escape one-another. Particularly at this moment in time, when we are asked to be apart from one-another, the truth is we can dive in to the deepest voids or climb up to the highest peaks, but at the end of every sunset and beginning of ever sunrise, true happiness is our ability to share our experiences with one another in person. Whilst social media provides us with an instant means to share our experiences and virtually connect with each other, for many of us it is a convenient illusion of choice, which the character in this film ironically did not face in 1992, when he made his fateful journey into the wild. Like the character in 'The Alchemist', he ventures to find his personal treasure, and on the way he learns truths that compliment and challenge his ideals. A story I have come across so often in fiction and reality that this film captures so well in a person who dared to live it. If you haven't seen this film, I heartily recommend you do, it reaffirms ones faith in humanity, in being present, in forgiveness...
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Cube (1997)
10/10
Masterpiece
5 April 2020
A brilliant science-fiction film that's really making sense throughout this #Covid19 pandemic and I highly reccomend a watch is 'Cube'. It's a basket full of our current shared experiences... isolation, fear, hope, paranoia, suspicion, selflessness, selfishness, a social experiment, an untrustworthy government, a need for unity and teamwork, and how a crisis brings the best and worst out of us... won't spoil it so you can watch it yourself...
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1917 (2019)
1/10
An overrated and bloated Videogame!
20 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
What happened to the Sam Mendes, from works of substance like 'American Beauty' and 'Road to Perdition' to somewhat juvenile, empty of soul films like '1917', where deep characters and real emotions are subverted for theme park rides. Here, of all subjects to use for a joy ride, "the Great War" is a vehicle for an action adventure, fantasy-esque quest, that not only sheds little about the horrific war itself, but sanitises the sacrifice of young men by a corrupt elite on both sides of the war, who profited heavily from their demise.

In this film, the enemy is portrayed as inherently evil, cruel, untrustworthy, duplicitous and blood thirsty, and the allies as innocent, trusting, honorable and kind, which is reminiscent of the worst excesses of war propaganda filmmaking, complete with cardboard cut-out villains. What '1917' decides to ignore to its folly is that at the end of the day, it is ordinary people fighting ordinary people. Brother against Brother. Sister against Sister. That's the folly of war and something great director's like Kubrick nailed to the mast in their war films!

But you might say, "Elcid, this is a popcorn action flick, you got to switch off your brain mate, enjoy the ride...", yet even for mindless action, I never felt at the edge of my seat, and all of the meant-to-be tense and gripping scenes felt forced and contrived, and you could see the actors reacting to cues rather then immersed into Sam's world of make believe.

There are two truly great scenes in 'Children of Men' (Alfonso Cuarón), both near the beginning and near the end, where the action takes place in one shot, and here the veracity of both the characters and their environment is so powerful that you truly feel immersed and haunted by the scenes, and the narrative benefits from the continuous shots. In interviews, Mendes says he was inspired by these scenes, but it seems by trying to emulate them, he has missed a trick - they add no value to the story apart from the gimmick of spectacle! The result feels like you are watching someone else play a video game (*Spolier incoming*), where the main protagonist has 9 Lives and reaches number 8 before he succeeds to the final level boss - an underwhelming encounter with Benedict Cumberbiatch (sic) who says "f*** o**" and the audience f*** o** too, to recollect on a lost 2 hours.

The score by Thomas Newman is also misplaced and passé - think a Hans Zimmer rendition of Lord of the Rings'. The only redeeming feature is the cinematography by Roger Deakins, yet even here, it inevitably draws comparison to the superior cinematography of Emmanuel Lubezki ('Children of Men'), and whilst it is interesting to purely admire the technical achievement and continuous mis-en-scene in one shot (with hidden cuts), I think such a scheme ultimately ends up stealing the emotional veracity from the characters since we never really get up close and personal to them to see their eyes - their windows to the soul. Thus, the cinematography of Deakins feels constrained and on rails.

There is to my knowledge only two great audio-visual works on WW1 and they are 'Blackadder Goes Forth' (TV Series) and 'Paths of Glory' (Kubrick), alongside great films on other wars, from 'Full Metal Jacket' to 'Apocalypse Now', 'Catch 22' to 'The Battle of Algiers', to name but a few. 4/10.
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1917 (2019)
1/10
Watch 'Paths of Glory' instead!
15 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
What happened to the Sam Mendes, from works of substance like 'American Beauty' and 'Road to Perdition' to somewhat juvenile, empty of soul films like '1917', where deep characters and real emotions are subverted for theme rides. Here, of all subjects to use for a theme ride, "the Great War" is a vehicle for an action adventure, fantasy-esque quest, that not only sheds little about the horrific war itself, but sanitises the sacrifice of young men by a corrupt elite on both sides of the war, who profited heavily from their demise. But you might say, "Elcid, this is a popcorn action flick, you got to switch off your brain mate, enjoy the ride...", yet even for mindless action, I never felt at the edge of my seat, and all of the meant-to-be tense and gripping scenes felt forced and contrived, and you could see the actors reacting to cues rather then immersed into Sam's world of make believe. There are two truly great scenes in 'Children of Men' (Alfonso Cuarón), both near the beginning and near the end, where the action takes place in one shot, and here the veracity of both the characters and their environment is so powerful that you truly feel immersed and haunted by the scenes. In interviews, Mendes says he was inspired by these scenes, but it seems by trying to emulate them, he has missed a trick - to justify the story within them! Therefore it feels like you are watching someone else play a video game, where the main protagonist has 9 Lives and reaches number 8 before he succeeds to the final level boss - an underwhelming encounter with Benedict Cumberbiatch (sic) who says "foff" and the audience foff too, to recollect on a lost 2 hours. The score by Thomas Newman is also misplaced and passé - think a Hans Zimmer rendition of Lord of the Rings'. The only redeeming feature is the cinematography by Roger Deakins, yet even here, it inevitably draws comparison to the superior cinematography of Emmanuel Lubezki ('Children of Men'), and whilst it is interesting to purely admire the technical achievement and continuous mis-en-scene in one shot (with hidden cuts), I think such a scheme ultimately ends up stealing the emotional veracity from the characters since we never really get up close and personal to them to see their eyes - their windows to the soul. The distance makes for a mute joy ride, and it is a shame as rather then free Deakins to bring out the best in the visuals, the one-shot idea has constrained him. There is to my knowledge only two great audio-visual works on WW1 and they are Blackadder Goes Forth (TV Series) and 'Paths of Glory' (Kubrick), alongside great films about all wars, from 'Full Metal Jacket' to 'Apocalypse Now', 'Catch 22', 'Salvador', 'The Battle of Algiers', to name but a few.
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Knives Out (2019)
1/10
Overrated and Boring
2 December 2019
Not sure how this film has managed to get anywhere near to an 8 - it is a very dull film that thinks it is cleverer than it actually is! Not a case of Whodunit but more like Whocares.
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1/10
Just so awful...
2 November 2019
Where to start... the toxic trend for woke films continues to destroy great films, and this rubbish of a film is the latest preach by the low IQ, low creativity, low energy soy boys of Hollywood. Do your self a favour and avoid this film like the plague... it is worse even...
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Joker (I) (2019)
10/10
A mirror to the establishment...
27 October 2019
I really want to summarise how potent, pertinent and disturbingly beautiful a film like 'JOKER' is in the way it points an uncomfortable mirror back at society, in the way all powerful works of art do... except today in an age of the politically correct gag culture of low brow cinema and the ever growing dissent against the corruption of powerful elites in politics and the media, this is more than just a refreshing and timely story, but a revolutionary act and a warning to us all, surprisingly from a mainstream film no less. Don't listen to the shill "critics", 'Joker' is a modern masterpiece that is currently embarrassing it's detractors!!
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Rocketman (I) (2019)
1/10
Awful Sacrifice of a Film
4 June 2019
You don't have to be an Elton John fan or vice-versa, to watch this film and come out of the theater with the feeling of "who cares", since Rocketman is that kind of 2 hour waste of ones life in a film that hardly anybody will remember a few weeks after watching. But why am I being so harsh, you might say? Well, for one, this is unlike Bohemian Rhapsody, a very emotionally drained film, with really poor acting performances from leads.

Taron Egerton tries hard to play a confused and impressionable Elton, yet his performances fall flat, as we never really feel we are invested in his problems, and in fact come to find him rather annoying by the end of the film. Yet the award for poor performance must go to Bryce Dallas Howard, whose clumsy effort to speak cockney and her wooden acting leave one with the sense that she was reading off a page held in front of her, off camera! In fact every scene she appears in goes from bad to worse, and together with Taron, the critical relationship between mother and son falls flat emotionally.

The other aspect that really makes a mockery of this film is the very premise, as it seems to be a pale copy of Bohemian Rhapsody, with every shift in the narrative being a poor carbon copy of that superior film. This is not a surprise as it was Dexter Fletcher who came aboard Bohemian Rhapsody when Bryan Singer left the film, so similarities abound, yet where Bohemian Rhapsody was actually emotionally invested, this is just a 'meh' film that ends with us less sympathetic to Elton John than when we began the journey.
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Suspiria (I) (2018)
1/10
Awful symbol of awful era of horror films
20 November 2018
I went into this with trepidation, because I had a sneaking feeling that it would be over hyped, and not deliver on the promise of the trailer. Boy was I wrong, it was much worse than early trepidations had hinted, it is one of the most pretentiously bad films I have seen amongst a host of bad films in recent years. Where is was the horror? Where was the suspense? Where was the plot? Where is a story? The answer is, all of these elements are lost in a film that has no defining purpose than self-importance, delivering low-brow impotence dresses up as high-brow grandeur! It is not the length that kills this film, it is the contents within, and lack of pacing and lack of horror. One out of Ten.
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Border Café (2005)
8/10
Chai, at the crossroads of civilisation
13 January 2017
'Cafe Transit' (or 'Border Cafe'), directed by Kambuzia Partovi, and edited by Jafar Panahi, is a stunning film on the art of showing, not telling! The film's immediate story shows the struggles of a recently widowed mother of two small children in her efforts to live on her own and make ends meet, by taking over the family business, a highway cafe, in a rural male-dominated society. but along the way she meets others like her who share her grief and determination to renew their life; even despite the problem of language, the human spirit of love, kindness, and empathy, connects them together. The result is a film that is socially and politically daring in portraying a woman determined to not succumb to the pressures of local traditions, and also as a universal story that transcends Iran's regions and it's borders with its neighbours. Hitherto, it is a nod to this theme that the cafe in question, is set at the crossroads of civilisation, on the silk road that once weaved its way from Europe to Asia. Technically, the beautiful cinematography and editing are invisible, and it is through the light handed treatment of these elements that the brilliant acting (if we can call it acting), shines through. Fereshteh Sadre Orafaiy and Parviz Parastui are wonderful as the duelling widow and brother-in-law, as is Nikos Papadopoulos (Greece) and Svieta Mikalishina (Russia), in an international and regional cast of characters.
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9/10
The PC-Bots won't like this... more reason to LOVE IT!
31 August 2016
When political correctness met a sledge hammer, a shattering romance ensued, gobby as hell, and my gob I laughed till the very end credits! What makes this film so funny you may be wondering, and the short and simple answer is that it takes the mockumentary ideas fleshed out in The Office, and transports them from that bygone era into today's utterly self-controlled, regressive, politically correct world, where the right to not be offended trumps and invalidates comedy as much as it does society. This is the antidote, and whilst it is heartening to have seen a great many films this year that are not afraid of pushing the boundaries, if one were to declare leadership, 'David Brent: Life on the Road' would perhaps be crowned the King! The king of comedy even...
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The Hero (1966)
10/10
Beautiful strangers on a train...
12 March 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I am slowly but surely beginning to discover the works of a master auteur whom I had know so little about, but whose great seminal works have emerged in my minds eye, like a rosebud revealing itself from the winter sleep. 'Nayak: The Hero', AKA 'O Herói', is a brilliant look into the world of filmmaking, acting, stardom, materialism and image worship, which Bengali legend Satyajit Ray's all-encompassing approach masterfully constructs. His approach weaves a multi-layered narrative around a film star, on route to the capital of India (Delhi), to collect an award, and through his interactions with fellow passengers on the train, surreal dreams and recollections remind him of the futility of idolisation and image worship, both immediately the cult of celebrity, but also more expansively, the cult of capitalism. As I am fast discovering, these sociological, progressive, leftist ideas are intrinsic to Ray's works, and a particular trait of his is the subtle use of motifs, incidental moments and dialogue that helps to convey these ideas. A particular scene where a passenger orders "Coke" emphasises this approach, as the waiter does not understand what the passenger wants until another passenger reminds him that he wants "Coke a Cola", which is a famous capitalist icon and instantly recognised by the waiter. The acting at all times is superb, and the protagonist, played by the legendary Uttam Kumar, is brilliant as the cool, charming, affable film star, whose ultimate flaws reveal the dichotomy between fiction and reality. In particular, Ray's choice of an established super star of Indian cinema, to play the role of a film super star has been the influence of many a film about film, and makes the film's subject even more potent. Although this is a character based narrative, Ray's technical brilliance means that we are treated to a aurally and visually stunning filmscape. The mesmerising visual touches abound, with the use of illusions and allusions, such as the nightmare scene where the protagonist finds himself in a desert made of bank notes and skeletons holding telephones. Watching this film and the intricacy of details, you can begin to understand why many in the know venerate Ray as the Kubrick of the East, including myself. If you don't know Ray or his works, then I highly recommend you track his films down and watch, because you won't be disappointed. 'Nayak: The Hero' in particular, deserves your unlimited attention.
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The force is Average with this one!
2 January 2016
Warning: Spoilers
30 years have passed since the events of episode 6 (beware spoilers ahead), but this film spends virtually zero time establishing the background to what has happened before, and from the very get go of one mindless explosion to another, this is an action packed let- down, with very shallow character development, re-hashed action sequences stolen from episodes 5&6 (father-son confrontations/death star finale), poor comedy timings and poorer dialogue (Finn asking Ray if she has a boyfriend), and really awkward character introductions, such as that first superficial meeting between old flames Leia and Han - really? And what about the new death star: bigger, badder, but in fact much much tamer and stupider, with the very same weak spots as the old death star, which makes you wonder if human evolution in 30 years (where the dark side is concerned), is in genetic reverse. Like most of the film, soft spots like this just felt like generic, copied from, and dumbed down fan service without much thinking in way of originality, substance, and credibility, which is what real fans of Star Wars and fans of good films in general wanted for this incarnation.

However, there are a few pluses here, since this film is still miles better than episode 1-3, and where roles are concerned, the strong female lead in Ray, and the prominent African American male lead in Finn, are commendable. There is still lots of room for improvement here, to prevent these characters from becoming merely token gestures in later episodes. Otherwise from a technical viewpoint, the one other major positive is the special effects. The use of actual effects in animatronics and physical set-pieces are the one aspect that set this film apart from most blockbusters nowadays, and here they are resoundingly successful in their use. Even the virtual effects (CGI), are used sparingly, and meld fluidly into the scene without distracting from the visual prowess. Yet more food for thought, despite this, it just goes to show how amazingly good the previous star wars films episode 4-6 looked, that the visual differences between them and this film are very minuscule.

So to sum up, this is another franchise film in a long line of cash-in follow-ups that are mostly style over substance, and you'll need to suspend a lot of quality control to really like this one, but it also goes to show that you know a film is not doing the right things when its trailer made a better movie than its full incarnation. Thus in conclusion, the force is NOT so strong with this one, and only deserving of a fantastically superficial 5/10.
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7/10
An enjoyable 70s romp
29 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
We have been here before, on this well trodden path of sex, adolescence, and the 70s. But rarely this beautiful. Like the naked flesh of two bodies locked together in carnal desire, this is a perfectly suffused meeting of animation and live action, seamless in its beauty, and bountiful only when essential to the story. Not a gimmick by any stretch of the imagination. The performance of Bel Powley is as seductive as the personality of the character she portrays; an awkward, body-conscious teen on the quest for sexual emancipation, but which (SPOILER), alludes her in the arms of her first lover, who is twice her age, played by Alexander Skaragârd, who also puts in a great performance. Naturally, given this well-trodden path, which evokes Lolita as much as it does Boyhood and Girlhood (film's which I loved), there is a slight tendency to feel that the story and setting (70s San Fransisco), are just too clichéd (The Dreamers floats to mind), and that a more contemporary story would have been a braver approach by the director. Yet that would be harsh, since the story has been adapted from a graphic novel and in effect, it's a very faithful transition indeed. I must say I was mostly absorbed, but like a joint that drags on too long, after a while the high says goodbye, and the low says hello. Hence an above average 7/10.
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