Reviews

A movie which doesn't seem to know what it wants to be.Horror? Not really when its absolutely impossible for a detached steel cable to slice through everyone except a young girl who became a ghost. So thats the gore out of the way.What follows is a predictable story about a salvage company who discover some gold bars and the whole is stitched together by a jumbled story line which made little sense The music is terrible,the acting below par-its the Marlon Brando mumbling school at work here- and the logic non existent. Anything can happen because the scriptwriters and director said so. There's too much jump cutting-at one stage we see the sea on fire as if they've been transported to Hell I came on here to see what others thought-to see what the Hell this movie was about. But you already know when you see the moving cable -there's not the usual panicking and screaming if somebody got whacked (which is what would happen in reality)You just see the people in the ballroom-apparently the ships' crew have not been killed.And ask yourself-would a steel cable suddenly become a knife powerful enough to slice through bone? No way

It does however tell you that going on a luxury cruise means your life is in the hands of total strangers.Think of the Titanic

I just came on here to see if I was the only one who found this movie pretty bad.Apparently I was not Why do they do these remakes?The original was good enough and at least you could understand it.This one was such a mess that it was just no more than a movie made as a sort of video game. It was no more than a disaster movie by numbers-fires,floods and major panicking. At the beginning we see a person looking through a telescope then yelling at the crew to steer the ship away from whatever it crashed into Forget the original film this one was too muddled.But even the original movie was no more than escapist entertainment of something pretty impossible. The Titanic hit an iceberg and that's the reason it was always easy to understand. Without ever seeing the original Poseidon this one made no sense and was quite boring as millions of gallons of water should have seen everybody off. I take it the fires were because of the upended engine room but in real life the water would have quenched the flames

Any of today's generation not knowing anything about Linda McCartney other than a name on a veggieburger packet in the supermarket would not understand this horribly jumbled story.One minute Linda is seen on stage the next in chimotherapy. This movie just shows what a truly great film McCartney made in Give my regards to Broad Street. Key players during this period were missed altogether-Denny Laine for instance.Yet what had Bill Wyman to do with anything? The music heard was pointless-what had the Association song NEVER MY LOVE to do with anything Beatles or McCartney. No mention of animal rights anywhere-which is what Linda McCartney was all about and the Wings years were summed up in a "blink and you miss it". No mention of Give my regards to Broad Street in which Linda had a starring role. It was really forcing a quart into a pint pot and is really unessential. What next? Yhe Heather Mills Story? The Yoko Ono Story? The mind boggles

I saw the Horror Channel was back after the breakdown so watched at least some of this movie until I got bored. I just wondered where Tom Cruise was but it seems this is a sequel to the remake. What passed as a story was like Star Wars or something-in other words no story just an exercise in Special Effects. Maybe this was a college project which somehow got mistaken for a proper film but what I wonder is the point of flogging an idea which was complete in itself to start with? If this was an amateur movie why inflict it on the World after.It should have been consigned to the vaults as a bad idea. Scenes shot in darkness,mumbling dialogue-probably the actors appeared for nothing-and the token kid who should have been in school or something. This movie has everything bad and boring

Very compulsive viewing without any foul language . Obviously this was police corruption at its height as Laurie Bembeneck had been a whistle blower and reported sexual and racial discrimination to a lawyer.Result was she was sacked and in order to make a living she was even a part time Playboy Bunnie. Meeting a detective at a night club and one thing leading to another they were married in a matter of weeks not even inviting any parents or whatever. All Laurie knows about his ex wife is what he told her-there were 2 kids she had custody of and in fact he had no rights at all and was being paid so much per month he had very little left after apartment rents etc.This was the first sign of him not being what he seemed as Irretrevable Breakdown wouldn't allow her to have claimed so much. But whatever she ends up being murdered and both of them had a motive. So the police department see the door open for Revenge,she is sent down for life and he's out of it clearing off and remarrying after she doesn't refuse the divorce. The trial of course is a farce as we learn later when another lawyer discovers evidence was suppressed or even fabricated in an attempt to put her at the scene of the crime. During her years in prison she had a Prison Visitor who eventually asked her to marry him.He also talked her into escaping which she did and the two of them went to Canada.After photos were seen on America's Most Wanted somebody reported her as being in their town with a man.Both arrested she got another 5 years on her sentence and given a years solitary. Meanwhile the public are coming out on her side in droves and another lawyer uncovers vital evidence.But the police are unwilling to open the case up again-various Appeals had failed-and she was advised to plead No Contest.Which means she hasn't admitted Guilt but not Innocence either. However it works and she's eventually out after realising that she would never get Parole unless she admits she did it and is sorry. No one has ever been caught for the murder

Yet another Sci Fi movie where anything can happen and does.You want to travel to a planet millions of light years away? Easy-just get yourself a teleporter like you saw in The Fly fill the movie with technical jargon which makes no sense to the layman and you are half way there.On Planet Oxygen. The people selected to go there are actually the 2nd to make the trip-the first lot never came back. They go one at a time by standing on a sort of platform inside the teleporter and a couple of seconds later are on the planet-which in this case is like the Garden of Eden. The last person to arrive turns into mincemeat as the idea of the Fly makes it presence felt-seems there was a "glitch" caused inside the teleporter caused by a foreign object-maybe it was a fly! First thing you wonder as you watch this codswallop is what are they eating but they haven't been there 5 minutes before they start killing! I mean harmless friendly looking bears who only wanted stroking. However it probably solved the food problem as they were seen cooking. Nice touch there-a clean planet with no smoke is already being polluted! And so it goes on-the sound of bullets the discovery of a skull-that of the first visitor- and all in all a pretty unsatisfactory ending where you hoped the bears would surround them and kill them all off. And that was it

Something of a waste even making movies like this as its a subject which makes no sense to most I just saw it on one of the True Stories channels and even if its based on a number of these kind of things its hardly powerful drama. Why do people do this stuff? The mainly women who do it I would regard as unreal and the best thing that could happen to them would be having a religious conversion.Then they may realise that life is too precious to mess with like that What sort of problems justify this damn stupid behaviour? Its too baffling to even think about Real problems for many are things like blindness,living in poverty with not enough money. Even drug addiction and drunkenness can make more sense than self harming

Its typical of Society today-that all these "experts" know everything and yet no nothing. Here was something acted out in front of them and yet no one had a clue. As the woman Laurie killed herself in the end as the SWAT team moved in it was too late to do anything only eventually make a movie. And the movie is where those involved know exactly what made her go nuts because she fit the MO. Whatever occurred in her past before meeting the guy at the restaurant where she worked had it seems been hushed up. Which at least shows you need to know about your future partner before commitment! The husband was out of it long ago when he realised just how crazy she was-in fact he told the police he was scared of her even before she attacked him with an ice pick! Probably the reason for divorce was "irretrievable breakdown of marriage"-he tried to make it work but she screwed it up with increasingly odd behaviour like filling the fridge up with shoes! For some reason she told the police he'd raped her but this was probably a fabrication. There were no children and that was probably a small mercy. Amazingly only one child died after her rampage at the school-which seems to be a frequent occurrence in America

An unusual take on the story of the Holocaust though rather pointless.Same as the title-what is the Devils arithmetic? The film will teach you nothing about the Holocaust. As a time travel story it works to an extent in that it concludes by bringing the girl back to her own time as if its all been a dream. Obviously its full of artistic license-the Germans all speak English and it roughly follows what we already know about the ghettoes which were to lead to the camps. I don't think anyone could be unaware of what happened in Germany in the 40s but comparing this to the various documentaries on individual POW camps or classic movies like Schindlers List and its hardly in the same class. As a time travel movie its like Back to the Future or Peggy Sue got married without the music.

After the Texas Chainsaw Massacre-which was genuinely frightening-the floodgates opened for what became the Video Nasty. You can't argue with the blurb which namechecks Leatherface but what follows is more than absurd. It starts off quite boringly as the students-how original-are detailed to clean up an empty house. Which then becomes an excuse to throw in Zombie Flesh Eaters as the acting is appalling-they must have been students in reality but obviously not students of acting. With someone attempting to philosophise along the way-about sex what else?-the story is virtually non existent and while the TCM bore some resemblance to a true story this one has more in common with a horror comic. The 1 star is for the music at the beginning-it sounded quite ambient!

The first Hostel was only so so-and the first half was just another excuse to show brothels and stuff and partying students-the 2nd half got more to the point and gave me an idea for one of my Internet published horror stories where rich people pay money to torture and kill people who were usually low lifes from the streets. It was though quite messy and could have been condensed into an hour.After all if the story is about torturing people to death than get on with it. In Hostel 2 it goes nowhere near.Its the New Breed of Horror where a story is not required to make sense and its like James Bond or something which no end of technology designed to trap people. From the original where half a dozen guys end up in what they thought was a museum the action had switched to females. And somehow its not as interesting when you see women at the receiving end. I just came on here to see what the Hell this film was supposed to be about.And after the main Hostel what was the point of flogging the idea again. To call this film rubbish is an insult to a tip

If you ever read anything about this unsolved and grotesque murder then this movie is nothing to do with it.Its supposed to be and is said to be based on the book-which I have but gave up on half way through from sheer boredom. Which is what this film is-BORING. Its too complicated as it switches from one unrelated incident to another and I switched it off after about an hour.I don't think the name Elixabeth Short was even mentioned though maybe I blinked and missed it. What is the point of spending shads of money to make a movie which demands concentration to try and digest it. The whole thing is ugly-everything ugly about America in the 40s is here. Fortunately I can get DVDs more or less free and keep few of them

Here encapsulated in this movie are many strands from either horror literature (Day of the Triffids where a man wakes up in a hospital and finds no one on the streets and a load of crashed cars and buses),historical events (the Great Plague especially),more recent events (Aids) and one of the blights of modern society (road and other rages).And more disturbingly the laboratories who meddle with Nature) In the first 28 days there's non stop killing,panicking,screaming. If you can get past the fact that people are heard screaming as they fall from great heights (impossible because of oxygen displacement)or all the computers in full working order (who are the ISP staff?) to say nothing of the electricity supply which would have shut down with no one to maintain it) its a damn good film -and some of it was shot near Blackpool where I live!

I just watched a DVD the day before yesterday called Atlanta Murders but here its called Red Ink.I know its the same one because I remembered the name Debbie Flowers-I mean what a Hell of a name that is!! I get DVDs for very little-sometimes for nothing-and any I don't like go the Age Concern because I do a lot for charity. This however is a keeper as its subject matter is pretty frightening stuff which smacks of the German and Japanese medical experiments of the 1930s and 1940s.. Its like the mad scientist syndrome here-a belief that by extracting fluid from the testicles speeds up the ageing process for the "patient" and slow it down for the ones who are innoculated Maybe thats why George Bush doesn't look his age! Anyway I usually like the True Story type and this I found quite adequate as it slowly builds up into not just unsolved murders but the reason why they're unsolved. Read between the lines and its a Government Cover Up!! And the reason? Because "George Bush doesn't like black people"!!! Yes this is frightening stuff when you realise the "operations" have probably been conducted without anaesthetic and the mind boggles when you also realise that this is the body's most sensitive area.The pain must have hit the threshold. This much IS true

What seems like a movie inspired by the Stigwood one Sgt.Pepper is this time round not given such a trashing. Loses 2 stars because of the horrible performance by Eddie Izzard who I believe is some sort of "alternative comedian" but any comedy in Mr Kite was done by John Lennon and doesn't need an unfunny comic to add to it. Perhaps now in the U K we'll get the Sgt Pepper movie as enough time has passed for a new generation to appreciate what to my mine was a great film. Otherwise this is a movie which only works because of its music. It doesn't have a powerful story line like I Am Sam but what it does have is what could be a series of music videos. For the collector of Beatles covers this is manna from Heaven. One thing puzzles me though-why has some person with the hideous name of Dana Fuchs not changed it?

I got this from a car boot from a mate for a quid-and he'll take it back and give me another. I was fooled by the blurb on the back.but what follows is beyond any sort of logic. A comet hits the Earth and causes a big freeze.In reality a comet hitting the Earth would destroy all the buildings,cause widespread flooding and earthquakes.I wanted to see bodies in the street,cars crashed and people panicking None of this happens.Instead it shows a guy using a computer! I just wondered if all this lot hadn't effected the electrics-to say nothing of the ISP. Absolute rubbish-I turned it off so I've no idea what happened.But it would hardly matter

"Americ's worst female serial killer" it said in the TV mag.I'd never heard of this person and after watching it I thought it was just another excuse to fill the movie with foul language.If you try and count the number of F and S words you lose count in the first 20 minutes. As for the killings only 3 were shown yet if this movie had been done right you'd at least have heard gunshots.So no logic here. Instead we get stuff which should have been left out-like Ailleen's attempts to get a job when she thinks she can become a secretary in 5 minutes!! At the beginning she tells her friend she has a dry cleaning business or something but as we never see it we know this is a woman who lies non stop . I know America has low lifes like this-so have we-yet when you realise this person is the subject of a book and a movie that's more than obviously deserving people have-Gene Pitney or Carole King to name but 2. She must have been worse than the movie portrayed to end up being hung

Splatter for the sake of splatter this is a no holds barred exploration of just what the Human Race is about-kill or be killed! It spells out everything abnormal! The motive behind all the murders is that there isn't one.There doesn't have to be.Its enough just to be taking up breathing space on the planet to be eliminated.Eventually it pisses somebody off! Many could even identify with this as the daily papers create nothing if not hatred towards people we don't know or even want to know. Its the answer to the question "what would you do if you only had an hour to live?" My answer is I'd kill as many people as I could who were molesting women. You don't know these people but you want rid of them

What do we know about the Bermuda Triangle other than what dozens of "experts" tell us? The fact that so many ships and planes have disappeared in this region will probably remain a mystery same as UFOs. But there's also the fact that no one has yet burrowed BELOW the bed of the ocean or even tried to find Glenn Miller's plane?. Here some attempt is made to suggest that an Alternative Universe exists well below the sea and that it may very well hold the answer to all the UFO activity. Imagine UFOs don't come from out of the sky but out of the sea where they cruise the skies looking for a place to land. I've seen a UFO and they glide before disappearing-just like so many have said.

There's only about 100 movies you could never tire of and this is one of them. It has everything-the comedy really IS funny especially when the sheriff who's writing down the names of people who ended up murdered -because of a document exposing the Rembrandt book as a fake-asks in all seriousness-"who killed Rembdandt then?" but Wilder then escapes before it gets any nuttier! When Richard Prior decides the only way Wilder gets back on the train is to black himself up says "what are you worried about?That it might not come off!" is I suppose a nice touch of unpolitical correctness. Patrick McGoohan is here on the opposite side of the law-no longer the Secret Agent Man he's your run of the mill baddie who will shoot anybody in his way to amassing more wealth. The best part comes last-the train which has had its emegency brakes sabotaged by the villains-who also shot the driver out the cab door crashes straight through the booking office of the station leaving one unholy mess in its wake

What a disappointment.It said this was the story of Sawney Bean but as it was set in the present day with the usual excuse of kids on vacation there to discover all was not what it seemed just what was the point? Were you supposed to figure out the ones who actually spoke English were seeing a reenactment photographed into the ether? As if they were receivers? The story of the cannibal family led by a 17th century braindead lowlife was interesting enough for a movie especially as this family were well hidden from authority by conducting their business in a network of caves in Scotland and were only discovered after one person escaped their ambush. Bean was executed in Edinborough by hanging with both his hands and feet cut off so he bled to death and was put to death without trial because the caves were full of human bones. Surely that would have made a better movie than this excuse for horror and an easy enough job for the "actors" who were just required to grunt

In this the first and last Gerry & the Pacemakers film you get the impression that Cilla Black is the biggest star of the day when Gerry informs his aunt he's reading her biog.So why is she at a talent contest-and singing a ballad as well when its supposed to be a Big Beat Contest. The trouble is the scriptwriters sometimes don't use logic or throw in contradictions. The music was the main thing though so it worked as a series of cameos. Being shot on location in Liverpool was a good idea It also seemed rather pointless to turn the run to the airport into a silent film from the 20s.Which is why this review loses 2 stars

I just picked up a video of this one for 75p-about all its worth. I usually like the True Story types but this is only true if you realise that people murder people. More likely its a rip off of Fatal Attraction. A woman apparently discovers her husband has been murdered-there was no motive for her to have done it yet she's arrested.A lawyer gets her off on some sort of technicality-which could have been due to the fact that there was no fingerprints,witnesses or motive but the police need to do this stuff. This is when you think it can't have been a True Story because it starts to get into the realms of fiction with plots and subplots based on the storyline of a woman lusting after her lawyer who tells her he's happily married.We find out later he DID once have an affair which nearly destroyed him. How utterly original! It just seems as if the plot is being added to when the woman employs a hit man to bump the lawyers wife off after arranging to have his nightclub torched.It gets too silly I was glad when it finished the film overstayed its welcome by about an hour

An object lesson in how to make a bad movie which masquerades as Horror. Without going in too close I would imagine this is the results of a bunch of film school students all adding bits to the story and then actually ACTING in it! Its like a film workshop of some kind and its a film badly in need of an editor-in which case it would have lasted 10 minutes! The director of this garbage probably had more money than sense. Consider the number of submitted scripts or even unreleased films which would have benefited from this. The so called Granny who was killing people in some pretty stupid ways looked like Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future-or maybe the musicians Johnny Winter/Edgar Winter. It starts off with 20 minutes of crass boring nonsense spouted out by the students-something about paranoia. Giving this rubbish 1 is because it can't get any less. It has not one single redeeming feature-and when one of the girls thinks the body on the floor covered in blood is the guy fooling about she has to actually TASTE the red stuff before she knows its not tomato ketchup! Its an insult to the intelligence of an idiot