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Dachra (2018)
4/10
A Bland Movie with a Suspicious Amount of 10/10 Ratings
19 January 2024
Given the review score, I went into this movie rather intrigued, but there are essentially no original ideas here. Every plot point and revelation is one you've seen before, and nearly every character is dumb to a point that not even the suspension of disbelief can justify it. The film's cinematography is noteworthy but brought down by the color grading and lack of budget for real sets. I did like the grandfather character, as each of his scenes were unique and striking compared to the rest of the by-the-numbers story beats and visuals.

And just to take up the last few characters to meet the review criteria, what kind of genius character would put their face near a pot of offal and hooves and expect any other smell beyond utter wretchedness?

Also, the number of perfect scores for this movie strikes me as very suspicious.
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30 Coins: El doble (2020)
Season 1, Episode 5
7/10
Great Episode but Hurt by a Few Clichés.
4 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of the most energetic episodes of the series so far. The pacing and the action was very strong and coupled very well with the intrigue sown into the plot. However, this episode also dips into some serious cliché territory that's pretty hard to ignore. Main character gets a weapon, wounds the baddie of the show, can finish it right there, and then leaves for no reason while executing henchmen along the way. Other main character has her husband return from being missing and asks zero questions about it despite it being a central development point for her arc. She has to be told outright "Hey, I'm a baddie," before she even bothers to clue in. The show really isn't bad, don't get me wrong. There are a ton of refreshing highlights I haven't seen in a horror show in quite some time, but the problems listed above are still notable enough to pull my focus away from the excitement.
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6/10
A Grain of Salt with Your Water
3 January 2022
The Silent Sea is high-concept science-fantasy that isn't bad or particularly remarkable. However, you have to treat it a lot like Sweet Home in that if you watch it, it's fun, but you shouldn't think too deeply about any one concept or character motivation/choice or you're going to be annoyed at the plot holes and (pun intended) moon logic. I would say give it a try for its visuals and sci-fi elements and just discount everything else going in, and you should be fine.
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Lucky (IV) (2020)
4/10
An Impressive Concept in a Bad Film
4 September 2021
I really like the concept of this movie. I saw it described as kafka-esque and that's fair. I also especially appreciated the physicality of The Man--great slasher movie articulation. However, the movie's message is a mess. It's neither subtle or blatant in a consistent way, and I think it was meant be disorienting but mainly comes off as poorly hashed out. The main character is another weak part of the concept, made even more rough by the fact that she's portrayed by the film's writer, leaving little room to think it wasn't acted exactly as intended. May isn't likeable or smart, and portraying people trying to help (especially social workers) as useless and dumb isn't a great look. Also, muddling the luck-fear message with the (paraphrasing) "I'm not lucky, I'm great" insert line to the publisher was painful. Finding a solid publisher who will let it ride after your commonplace self-help book bombs is pretty lucky. All writers go through the process she rants about, and luck most certainly plays a part. Lucky isn't awful, but what I believe hurts it the most and contributed to the wealth of bad reviews is that it could have been a phenomenal film.
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7/10
Great 1st Season, Very Weak 2nd Season
18 May 2021
First of all, just to get it out of the way. The animation in essentially every episode is phenomenal. It's easy to let the diverse visual spectacle sweep you up. With that said, story is really the key element, and while the first season ranges well through hard-hitting emotion, thrills, horror, and comedy with masterfully executed differences in pacing from tale to tale, the second season lacks in both of these categories. You just don't have enough time to develop any real connection to comedy or tragedy or intensity, and I think that's a testament to how much difference 8 minutes can make in a story. Even more to the point, the 1st season was a solid 18 episodes while the 2nd season doesn't even meet half that at 8 which just isn't enough for the short story style. Overall, I do like the show, but if their next set of entries is as lackluster and short as the 2nd season, I can see the show losing its darling status among viewers.
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Prey (2019)
4/10
A Movie that Hinges on the Stupidity of the Main Character
10 March 2021
The concept of the plot is a smart one, but unfortunately, nearly everything in the movie hinges on the fact that the protagonist is stupid. The struggles the main character must endure are mostly born from ill-conceived or rushed plans and a disability which swings wildly from moment to moment. In one scene she can barely lift her arm and in another she has a much broader range of motion which would have instantly trivialized or outright solved the problem before it. Beyond these obvious problems, the main character isn't particularly likeable. Her bad choices (including her barely explored and later, self-excused, backstory) are grating after about the third or fourth obvious plot-forwarding screw up. On top of all of this, without getting into spoiler territory, much of the setting just doesn't make sense. Why is the radio battery-powered when the house clearly has electricity? The doors are semi-handicap-accessible and stairs entirely rebuilt, but no effort was made for water access? Overall, this is worth a one-time watch if you're anxious for some middling horror, but don't expect any real thrills or frills from this film.
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Sweet Home (2020– )
7/10
Fun If You Don't Take It Seriously
28 December 2020
First of all, I want to say, both the "perfect" reviews and the "abysmal" reviews both miss the mark. This show is a great "middle-of-the-road" experience. It's concepts are great, and in the same breath, the writing is terrible in a way that is really entertaining to tease poking fun. The effects are awesome while the characters are hilariously aching anime/manga clichés. Great emotion with wafer-thin development, and so on and so forth. I would recommend you check it out, but go in with an attitude that this isn't one of those Netflix masterpiece offerings or absolute trash despite how much people want it to be one or the other.
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Castle Freak (2020)
4/10
Decent Qualities in a Bad Film
4 December 2020
Warning: Spoilers
I went into Castle Freak with very minimal expectations. Unfortunately, it didn't really exceed those expectations in any way. The effects and certain moments within the cinematography do shine. You can see that real care went into some of it. However, essentially every other element of this film serves to bring it down. The acting is very weak, and the fact that the casting itself is actually something they considered to be stand-out trivia isn't great. At best, the acting is B-Movie grade, and at worst, it's barely C-tier. Most of the wooden characters serve no purpose. I did like the implementation of Lovecraftian lore, but this leads me to spoiler territory. The ending is bad. If you want to use Lovecraft's work, you give it a proper end--madness, focused desolation of hope, cosmic insignificance--you don't follow up a fine monster reveal with a weak jump scare and a ham-handed cut to black. Now, perhaps the most important part of this review: the post-credits scene. If anyone with any sway in this production and potential future productions is reading this, please, hear me out. I can't emphasize it enough, do not remake Reanimator. Either do a sequel or leave it alone. Choose from the myriad of other Lovecraft works available to you. The Professor's achingly bad imitation of Jeffrey Combs' personality should be evidence enough that you will not equal or better a one-in-a-million performance like that. There's something in this movie, a start to better things if you play it right, but if you go for fan recognition and nostalgia, it will not turn out well. Horror fans don't play that game the same way as other film buffs. Look at the reboots of Freddy, Jason, and Chucky as points of reference. Overall, to everyone else I will say, a one-time watch wouldn't hurt.
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4/10
Another Bland Hulu Offering
15 October 2020
To be brief, this is just another middling, bland horror movie served up by Hulu as a Halloween drop. There's a little flavor here, but overall, it's a forgettable bite from an unremarkable meal.
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6/10
I'm so Torn on this Short Film
21 January 2020
This short film is incredibly Lynchian. It's purely a signature of style, and I mean that in the most positive way possible. However, I can't help but wonder, if this short came from anyone else who lacked the renown which Lynch has, would it be viewed as anything more than a peculiar piece that you pass by after five minutes? It's good in its eerie, dream-like quality, truly, but I'm torn as to whether this is noteworthy solely because of what it is in style or simply because of who made it--content aside. I suppose I'm at a stalemate of neutrality on this one. Draw your own conclusions, and I hope you enjoy, either way!
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Wounds (2019)
4/10
So Close to being Passable
29 November 2019
This movie had potential--you can feel it in a typical but not unpleasant way. The issue is that no thread is tied up in this film. Armie Hammer plays it well enough, but the effort is wasted on a story that doesn't know what it wants to be in the end. Is it Lovecraftian? Is it body horror? Is it straight up demonic? Sadly, the answer is that it doesn't manage to properly employ any of these horror sub-genres in any meaningful way. Unlikable characters are alright in the right setting, but here, nothing builds up or leads out from it. They aren't so much on a journey as they are being carried, and the worst part of the film is that there is no finish line. You're left with the equivilant of half-sipped, flat soda. Sure, you could have it, but you'd much prefer something full and fresh. I suggest you pass on this one.
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The Terror (2018–2025)
5/10
Amazing 1st Season, Terrible 2nd Season
18 November 2019
The first season of The Terror was absolutely phenomenal. The atmosphere, horror, psychological tension, and the character development combine into a truly excellent work. The second season, on the other hand, is mediocre in essentially every way. The story meanders and contorts itself trying to make sense. The characters--especially the antagonist and main character--have little to no rationale behind their actions 95% of the time. One direction or plot point is substituted for the exact opposite action or motivation almost from episode to episode. Frankly, the second season had virtually no true horror let alone the terror directly stated in the title, no real character depth or psychological follow-through, and felt more like a grift off of the success of the first season more than anything unique or clever, save for a few cool visuals. I highly suggest you check out the first season and then completely sidestep the second installment in this "anthology".
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8/10
A Genuinely Meta Film
27 September 2019
I went into this film expecting a low-budget and hopefully less-than typical zombie movie. I'm glad to say this movie turned out to be an incredibly fun watch. Right when you think you've finished up and have gotten exactly what you expected, the film completely throws you in the opposite direction and puts a lens on the genre in such a way that is fun, funny, and outright entertaining. As a fan of both zombie horror and foreign films, I really suggest you check this one out.
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Nightflyers (2018)
5/10
A Good Premise Surrounded by an Absolute Mess of Concepts
14 December 2018
I was really hyped for this show, and starting with the establishing scene to the very first episode, the quality of writing and character development consistently degrades into nonsense. With the exception of an amazing performance by Angus Sampson, every character choice is either irrelevant, illogical, or outright ridiculous, and pretty much all of the nonessential, side characters are rushed out, cardboard stand-ins. Save for some awesome visuals, the plot is all over the place, the dialogue is forced, and the generally established rules of the universe are paper-thin and as flexible as the bad writing requires for the episode. The horror itself dilutes down to pretty much nothing after just a few episodes and then begins relying on hip-fire twists and an incredibly rushed time line that provides no real value or punch for the viewer. Even the establishing scene ends up making no sense at all. I can see why they released this show so quickly because otherwise, viewers would be confused and disinterested after a few episodes. Overall, unfortunately, it's a middling, convoluted story with a decent budget, awesome-to-awful acting prowess, and a touch of horror coating the bad twists and garbled concepts.
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10/10
Great Episode, Ignore the Other Review
13 November 2018
This episode is fine and doesn't contain any more or less drama or advanced meaning than the other episodes. The other review is nothing short of ridiculous. It's Scooby-Doo--it's fun with a few clever jabs peppered throughout. Just enjoy and don't read too far into it.
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Into the Dark (2018–2021)
3/10
Predictable as Ever
5 October 2018
There are a few decent qualities in this anthology's first episode, but in the end, it's as bland and predictable as any other story of this variety with an added stinger of providing no explanation for the weak "surprise" ending. Hulu never seems to fail to disappoint with its originals.
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American Horror Story: The End (2018)
Season 8, Episode 1
3/10
Somewhat Cringeworthy
16 September 2018
The first fifteen minutes of the show had me interested, but soon after, everything just felt like an amalgamation of fan service and a tool's version of artsy-goth which just came off as ham-handed and awkward in an unintentional way. The set and costume design alone simultaneously reeked of class fashion gluttony and Hot Topic Halloween sale with dialogue that swung wildly from perfectly delivered to awkward teenager's "cool lines" from their fanfic. I'm crossing my fingers for an improvement in the next few episodes, but I won't neglect my realistic expectations.
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Castle Rock (2018–2019)
2/10
Weak, Lacking Energy, Cashing in on King
16 September 2018
I really wanted to like this show. At the start, I was intrigued and built up on hopeful hype. By the end, I was beyond annoyed with its predictable, paper-thin plot and atmosphere. There are only a few brief moments that capture the tone and terror of King's early work. For the most part, it only succeeded in capturing the feeling exuded in the majority of his newer works--a droning chore with a few bright spots between long stretches of tedium. I know that that is not a popular opinion, but it doesn't make it any less an accurate descriptor of what this series offers. The plot meanders, the main character isn't likeable, the supporting characters aren't fully hashed out or only serve as cardboard cut-out shuttles for exposition, and the defining energy of the work's forward motion is a barely satisfying minimum effort with an impact that falls well short of captivating. Overall, I'm sure this series will run for more seasons as a show that awkwardly waddled through its own tracks over and over again as valuable criticism and improvement will not find any willing ear.
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