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sriramchandrasekhar
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M3GAN (2022)
A no-effort piece of trash
A movie with really nothing memorable, no redeeming value, no screenplay, and absolutely piss-poor characters - it's a tragedy because the material could have been halfway decent in the hands of a more capable director. One sees all the usual cliches in a horror movie here, but without adding any tension nor fleshing out any proper character at all. I'm sitting here waiting for that moment when I get the chills, and absolutely nothing of that sort happens till the end. Even the last scene where Elise turns on evokes nothing and is completely underwhelming. That epitomises everything wrong about the movie - none bothered to invest effort in a story worth telling, and even the characters just go through the motions to get their paycheck.
Save your money and stream this at home.
Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)
Props for the Audacity
It takes a special level of chutzpah or dumbassery or ignorance or a combination of all of these to label an atrocity such as this 'the deadliest film ever made' - what were these guys thinking? Was it an inside joke on us plebeians?
Showing flashes of bizarre images and meaningless sounds and symbols doesn't a horror movie make - this isn't the 90s. Conveniently there's a mother at the beginning of the movie until the next scene where she isn't, and would never show up again. How does a teenager and her brother go into the woods to camp? How much of a dumb twit would you need to do that? Of course none of this is explained because the makers aren't interested in these trivial logical questions - they're asking all the great serious metaphysical questions about mortality and evil which we stupid plebs have no clue of. Interspersed with this are scenes of a hippie pair that conveniently is evil AND stupid so they can let the girl and her brother escape after capturing them rather easily.
We aren't allowed to ask these questions because, you know, profundity. This has to be the Dumbest Movie Ever Made (in 2018) because I'm always optimistic that humans would plumb to even lower depths of nonsense.
Aval (2017)
Are You Bleeping Kidding Me?
I hate most Indian movies with a passion, as they cater to the lowest common denominator. Everything about Indian movies is usually nauseatingly fake and just offensively over the top. So, one of these days I watched Siddharth rave about his upcoming movie, and that they've given their life and sweat to make this movie for the last 5 years or something. He also said without batting an eyelid that this is the first Indian movie on par with Hollywood standards of horror. Well, I took the bait - have to say. I have been waiting for this movie to release on DVD so I could watch it first thing.
Let me tell you what I think - I think Siddharth and his ilk should stick to making crass commercial cinema, as that is where he and his trashy ilk belong. For this is an ATROCIOUS movie! There's virtually zero horror, no plot, nothing interesting, and nothing at all remotely horror-like in this movie. Granted, there are a few jumpscares early on, but that's about it. Everything devolves into a general state of awfulness rather quickly.
There are too many plot holes, where I won't even begin to go. Just one question though, how the hell do ALL PEOPLE in the Himalayas SPEAK TAMIL? Can someone answer me this? The exorcism and the pseudo, idiot-looking, spirit-talker's scenes take the cake to be the worst of the lot in this generally embarrassing excuse of a horror movie.
As for the horror elements, forget it. There are a lot of cheap gimmicks - levitating bodies, flying chairs, zombie makeup etc. Apparently, these are enough to scare the hell out of Indian audiences. Going by this abomination ranked 7.4, it's not hard to see why Indian audiences must be among the dumbest in the world. I could make a better movie - I guarantee you.
DO NOT WATCH IT. How dare people rank this movie 7.4! Is IMDb also rigged? Donald Trump is obviously right. The whole system is rigged if this disaster gets this high a ranking.
Okay, Siddharth, your 'life and sweat' really sucks. Make movies with Prabhudheva for mediocre fools to lap it up.
Modern Family (2009)
A Great Achievement in Comedy
I don't watch too much TV generally, and I have few favourites in comedy, especially. I believe comedy's appeal lies in its being relatable as well as natural. And that's quite a challenge, and almost everyone fails at it.
Not this series. This is by far the funniest series I've ever watched.
Phil Dunphy is undoubtedly the star of the show, a real show-stealer, with his amazing timing and those facial expressions. Most of all, what's really satisfying to see is a kind man depicted as a winner, which happens rarely. Most people shown in 'comedies' are generally nasty and unlikeable and plain jerks. Not this one, he has a heart of gold, and seems to be the most humanly humans in the series. The character has been developed to such perfection that it cannot be outdone. And Mr. Burrell has acted, rather, lived the role of his life.
He is complemented spectacularly by Ms. Bowen. These two are the real geniuses behind the show's appeal and popularity, I feel.
If I had a qualm about one thing, it's the meanness behind a few dialogues. I think it stems from the creators' meanness. There are too many casual descriptions of animal cruelty in the series. For a 'Modern Family', Jay and Gloria and Mitch and Cam talk like savages. I detest the implicit endorsement of animal cruelty, and wish the writers didn't have to go to such disgusting lows in the name of comedy.
But overall, this is a series I'd binge watch every time. There's no way I'm getting tired of this one.
Under the Shadow (2016)
Don't Believe these Glowing Reviews!
I don't know where to begin. This is probably my first Iranian film, and reading all these really rave reviews made me believe I'm on to a good experience. Far from it, this was by far the worst movie I've watched in the last 6 months. I feel a certain perverse pleasure now that I watched this awful movie that, there are other countries out there that produce equally horrid content outside of India.
As of now, there are 9,057 users that have rated this movie for an average of 7. SEVEN? Are you kidding me? I can only assume this movie has been rated by Iranians en masse to push it to such an exalted level.
The first ingredient in any great, or even decent, horror movie, is its story. Okay, this movie has a semblance of a story, what with a mother grieving over the loss of her mother recently, and being unable to fulfil her desire of higher studies due to Iran's oppressive political and cultural climate.
The second ingredient is characters you can relate to. This movie scores miserably on that front. I found the mother kinda revolting. She's got some personal issues, but that gives her no excuse for being rude and a general douche.
The third is the scares. There were 2, maybe 3, scenes that are spooky. That's it. There's no consistent build up of tension, and the 'ghost' that does come out is laughable. An oversize polka- dotted blanket? Really? So the missile that landed brought with it a djinn? What a ridiculous idea. This doesn't scare anyone, just makes it uncontrollably funny. And that was that ending all about? What is the director trying to convey? Evil lives on, don't be the last person to move out of your apartment, or generally don't be a stupid and rude person? I don't know, nor does the director.
Just an awful waste of time. Don't fall for these ridiculous reviews. Watch something nice, or just sleep.
Deja Vu (2006)
A Full Plate of B*llo*cks
This movie makes absolutely zero sense. If the intention was to amaze the viewer with some Big Science, the makers utterly failed. Instead, you have several moments in the movie that just befuddle you. Don't get me wrong. I'm all in for concepts that push the boundaries of human experience, but this movie is not what you're looking for if you're looking for anything exciting. They have thrown in a jumble of ideas hoping it would work out all on its own.
How can someone just vanish in and out of existence the way the hero does? Why is this supposedly Sherlock Holmes-like character that can imagine everything from a mere speck of dust not have the common sense to call the other cops when he is chasing the dreaded terrorist so he can prevent this awful terrorist attack? And the scene where we are supposed to feel sad for the hero dying is also ridiculous. This guy that can take in bullets everywhere and not as much as limp doesn't know his way out of a car? That's just lazy writing and an insult to the viewer's already numbed sense of intelligence.
Good visuals and technology do not a good movie make. And this is another example of it. Sorely disappointed. 2 out of 10 just for the concept.
À l'intérieur (2007)
Bloody Disgusting and Bloody Pointless
Horror is such an abused genre, they need to regulate people who make movies so trash like this is never ever released even in a room of 3 people and a lizard on the wall and a cockroach on the floor.
For any kind of horror to work, there to has be some sort of tension built in - either within the interplay of characters, their relationships, or the atmosphere, and what I believe is most important - a plausible human character one can relate to.
You can be bloody sure this movie has none of these. Nope. Not even close. What we get are dense characters that are so clichéd you have seen in 99 other equally pointless so-called horror movies made by some dumb guy with a cheap camera in tow he got as a wedding gift or something.
The main character (the pregnant woman whose name I don't care to know) is so revolting in her utter disdain for the people around her, you just want her to die within the first 15 minutes anyway. Which frikkin' human being treats everyone like trash and expects to be treated with sympathy? And the dumbass twit causes the deaths of everyone around her in the most brutal and sickening ways imaginable. Violence for violence's sake is cheap, and frankly, the makers of this movie should be prosecuted for inflicting this piece of celluloid misery on us.
And of course the movie tries to redeem itself with some stupid babble clearly aimed at tugging at the heartstrings. But by then, you clearly don't give a rat's smelly behind. One only wishes Inside never saw the inside of any projector room, leave alone a theatre.
It Follows (2014)
Depression Follows, Followed by Frustration
What was this thing? I don't know, and after a point I stopped caring. My wife was waiting and waiting in the vain hope it would get scary or at least a little freaky. But no, the director wanted to show off with his characters' stupid eating habits. My God, almost every scene has some shot of some annoying character munching some stupid thing. What's with these dumbasses and hunger?
The opening shot was cool and interesting. I thought we were in for a nice ride. What I got was some stupid girl trying to milk all the pity she could get from her friends, who I must say, are even dumber than her. Why would they care for someone who hasn't shown any redeemable quality in her is beyond me. I just wanted IT to end the misery by pushing the girl into a volcano or something.
This film should never have been categorized horror. Some young adult nonsense maybe, but not horror. The horror is the fact some producer thought this is a great idea, let's finance this.
Exam (2009)
Fails and Fails Bad
I don't actually understand the level of awe bordering on worshiping the movie in these reviews. I tried to like the movie. Really. But it didn't set my pulses racing, nor did it appear remotely interesting any which way.
The characters' tension seemed forced, their suspicions and insecurities only appeared like contrived plot devices, with no organic flow of events in the storyline. One character after another seems to court trouble to plod the movie along a further 20 minutes. The bit about the Indian guy going berserk was especially hilarious. You would expect some consistency in the way characters behave, but this one was like really stupid. Watch the movie to know what I'm talking about.
And the denouement? Like seriously, what the heck were they thinking? For a company that claims to have invented a way to live forever, it's ridiculous to not expect them to also find a way to have the 'magic bullet' produced abundantly. I could go on and on. It was a waste of 90 minutes. If only they asked the right question on why this movie should be made at all, maybe we would have been spared this drivel.
3 is only for the concept. They got that right at least.
O Kadhal Kanmani (2015)
Dumb Dumb Dumb Piece of Trash
I don't normally write reviews. I like watching movies and rating them, but looking at the downpour of adulation, I got disgusted enough to write this. Mani Ratnam is one overrated director. And this movie is absolutely the bottom of the barrel. Good-looking people fall in love, act like whiny school kids, are mostly annoying stupid characters with no substance whatsoever, and have no guts to act out what they think is right. That's the movie for you. Every character is plastic, every situation is OTT, every face that comes on screen is full of it. You just want to throw up all over the screen.
Don't watch this piece of trash. And you, Mani Ratnam, need to retire and make music videos or something.
PK (2014)
Nothing novel
Don't go by people fawning over the movie. On first viewing, it would appear pretty decent with some messages sprinkled in here and there. Just let 2 hours pass through and you'd understand there's absolutely nothing in this flick meriting so much hysteria.
The point is all that's stated in the movie - WE KNOW. We know superstition is bad, we know godmen are conmen, we know religion is not all that good.
And it's curious that for someone that says show me a "thappa" who belongs to which religion, Aamir Khan has stated somewhere he will bring his children up in Islamic beliefs, and nothing else, if my memory serves right.
As usual, the Indian public continues to revel in mediocrity and feel-good fluffy nonsense. And that's a continuing tragedy.
The Loved Ones (2009)
Horrendous
I have rated this 2 only 'cuz the first 20 minutes seemed like I was in for some really tense horror ahead. What an idiotic and infuriating movie this turned out to be! The lead characters are so stupid you just hope for them to be dead anyway with the bad because you've stopped caring about any of them long ago. No story, no logic, zero horror, only 100% disgust. Don't trust these high ratings from people - this is an absolutely atrociously made movie. I am going to stay away from movies made by this director in the future. A good horror movie is when you identify with the victim, his fears, his insecurities etc. This one had nothing at all going for it from start to finish.
Noah (2014)
Somehow not there
Mr. Darren Aronofsky's repute and a retelling of an epic biblical story pulled me to the screen. I was terribly excited to be watching, but maybe I should have not expected so much. After all , Mr. Aronofsky can only take so much artistic liberty in telling a story from the Bible. The second half is a bit of a drag - 10-15 minutes could easily have been snipped to retain the viewer's hold. It's a good film, but probably doesn't do justice to Mr. Aronofsky's talents.
On the positive side, the first half visuals and music were breathtaking and the most enjoyable part of the movie. I also liked the message of compassion and mercy towards animals, which seems to be Noah's mission. I hope that message reaches people all over. That would be mission accomplished for the director and his vision.
Dil Chahta Hai (2001)
Awfully Pretentious
This is my first review on IMDb, and I am doing this just because this pathetic movie does not at all deserve the status it has been accorded. I was almost sure this movie would be fawned over by so-called Indian cinema fans, so I wanted to do my bit to pull this movie from its exalted state. 8.6? That's utterly ridiculous.
I was amazed and bowled over by "Lagaan", and was expecting more fireworks on such lines from Aamir Khan. And then I got this. I can go and on, but I will just say this - this is a movie for snobs, for the newly rich and the "affluenza" class, because only they can relate to the movie's atrocious premise and contrived situations. Not ordinary middle-class people like me,
Loud, Annoying, Pretentious. Ultimately Crap.
They should make an app that lets you throw rotten tomatoes to express your revulsion. And I will be more than happy to lob more than one at that wannabe director Farhan Akhtar's mug.
V/H/S (2012)
Annoying piece of work
I'm the sort of person who enjoys watching movies and reading commentary on it only. This is only my second review for any movie.
I am a big horror movie fan, and I dug into this most expectantly, but it was a terrible letdown. The thing that hits it off for me in a horror movie is the degree of believability and the degree of likability. This movie had neither. Almost every character in the five different stories was annoying, smug, and generally unlikeable. I actually wanted whatever demon or spirit to kill them all by the end of it. The whole movie was so random and so incomprehensible, rendered worse by the ramblings of whoever's on screen. I couldn't understand what we was being mouthed 90% of the time. That is so annoying for a viewer!
I don't know why directors consciously create such poor characters at all. This is torture porn on viewers, and I want it to stop.