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sagittaur79
Reviews
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
What exactly was the point of this movie?
What exactly was the point of this movie?
Who's sending the four 'horsemen'?
Why were they convinced of the truth of their visions?
Why does averting the apocalypse require a sacrifice? Why just one sacrifice? And a willing one? What's willing about being tied up and being coerced into it?
Why this family in particular?
Why was the ending so obvious? And disappointing?
Sure, just because it's Shyamalan it doesn't mean there *has* to be a twist. But that's been his formula for revealing the plot. Here? No twist, no plot, no point. The movie just rambled on for the sake of it.
For the building of tension, though, top marks. Beautiful cinematography, as always.
A Fall from Grace (2020)
Why! Smh
How does a murder conviction go through with absolutely no evidence?
How's the cop husband simply asking baddies to stay there while jogs off on some other errand?
Script was so amateur. Sounded like it had been written by a bunch of high schoolers trying to piss off their teachers.
Acting was absolute batshittery. These people should be questioning their career choices.
Sound score was abysmal. Hallmark teamed up with a church organist and went drunk on the synthesisers.
Plot was shambles. It had the logical consistency of a gnat regurgitating.
Beggars belief that there were any 10 star reviews at all - they all sound planted.
Avoid this movie at all costs!
Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)
Implausibilities galore.
Why would it make such big news that a policeman was corrupt and undertook 'vigilante' activities? Not like he went on a murdering spree.
Why put him in what looks like a maximum security prison for civil offences?
Why would the boy's mother, who had only a passing acquaintance with the detective, make the effort of visiting him in prison only to throw emotional tantrums?
Why does need to be a riot team to collect a mobile phone from him? What's the purpose behind inviting parents to a ransom house and then setting the bodies on fire?
Why would you catch a man with a lethal injection in hand, knowing full well what others under similar predicaments have come to do, and then allow him to have a chat before attempting to apprehend him?
Why Norway? What's its relevance to the character?
Who travels to the middle of nowhere in ice-clad Norway in autumn fashion from London?
Our villain seems to be a man of means, and has swathes of people in his employ, but he has to personally kick and stab and run through abandoned London underground tunnels?
Is he a psychopath who has illusions of grandeur? Or is he simply a businessman with a shady business model? If so, what need for elaborate blackmailing schemes; surely plain old kidnapping is sufficient?
Just, nothing adds up. It's just all the wrongly shaped building blocks thrown together for some kind of effect.
Why did insist on watching to the end? Idris Elba.
Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)
Poor movie adaptation
Right from the start your realise this is a novel poorly adapted for the screen. Imagery that works through writing is painfully drawn out on the screen, drawing out for too long, just sort of dawdling in pointless metaphoric exercise.
This movie sets up a premise and then doesn't take it anywhere. The protagonist is fleshed out fully, and boy does that take the whole movie! And there's some banal moralising about mobile phones and technology, without really getting to the crux of the narrative. Just really poor storytelling.
I give it three stars: one for having been made, two for some lovely scenography, and three for having cast Donald Sutherland.
Echoes (2022)
Give it a miss
Too many plot holes, too much confusion over who's who, the most annoying detective ever, characters that lack motivation, storylines that aren't properly developed and curve balls thrown just to randomly explain certain events... Could've simply been a mid-afternoon TV movie with this poor level of script and characterisation.
Matt Bomer's talents are wasted here. He was exquisite in The Sinner; watch that instead for tight script and excellent acting overall.
Beautiful scenery and passable music score aren't enough to make this six-episodes too long series worth watching. Really, give it a miss.
Girl (2018)
Sensitive topic, poor movie
Who are these people giving this film 9 and 10 points? Have you no discernment?
Fair enough that the lead actor is a novice, but surely the character could've been developed more. This was a completely wooden portrayal, with only the barest flicker of emotion streaking across a porcelain face.
While the script is naturalistic there's no build up to the actions that happen later in the film. The pacing if all off, spending far too much time on repetitive scenes, rather than progressing the storytelling.
And the camerawork! Just painful. Poor, shoddy work. The entire thing could've done with a snip to about half the length.
A good effort bringing to light a sensitive topic, but overall just drab.
Dark (2017)
Just because it's different doesn't make it good.
There are some wonderful things about this program:
- it establishes mood convincingly: the sceneography is suitably morose, the colours muted or harsh, driving in the idea that it's all, well, Dark.
- the actors are fine artists, the emotions not being hammy or kitsch
- the situations - the secrets, the jealousies, the infidelities - are all plausible
And that's about it. What's exhausting is that it goes on and on and on without respite. You just lose any kind of sympathy for the characters because there are just too may versions of the same people, all with different narrative arcs. And the to-ing and fro-ing with timelines and worlds, just makes for frustration.
Completely disagree with those saying this is the best thing ever - suspending disbelief is one thing; after all, you have to accept the premise/logic of the narrative as it's given. Confusion is not the same as intrigue, and the former has no place in good storytelling.
The philosophical posturing is monotonous and exhausting. The script is such a let down: how many bloody times can people keep saying "everything happens for a reason" / "everything has its place in time" / "everything repeats itself" / "it's a never-ending cycle" ... omg, we get it! You can't decide whether it's destiny or free-will. But the mind-numbing repetition is plain stupid.
The first season creates sufficient build-up, and from there it plateaus. I have to keep watching because I'm a sucker for punishment, and despite feeling it's not going to go anywhere I just want the damn thing to end. But after that I'd happily delete it from history if possible.
Case 39 (2009)
Give it miss
So unbelievably bad, I can't believe big names lent their credentials to this. Don't these people read the script beforehand?
Just about everyone, the parents, the colleagues, the lead characters, behaves in completely erratic and nonsensical ways. Script written by some 14 year olds!
What a waste of time.
Blood Red Sky (2021)
That kid ...
The moral is this story is " don't have kids". What a fking nuisance of a child!
His House (2020)
Wasted potential
- Rial speaks perfect English at the doctor's, but she can't manage to say Church St?
- The doctor behaves as though she's never seen unwell people, doesn't know how to comfort a depressed/grieving person?
- Rial begins the conversation in English, then switches to Dinka for two seconds and suddenly the husband Bol flips out and tells her to speak in English?
- the housing officer asks Bol why he's not adapting? And proceeds to give him life advice? And all the other agents sit around like judgemental fools? The kind of nonsense that doesn't happen in real life.
-who calls traditional robes bedsheets? As though they'd have never seen this type of attire after years of working with refugees. Gimme a break... it's not the 50s!
- there's not enough character/relationship build up, and suddenly Rial is blaming her husband for sucking up to the English? Such a nonsense build up.
Half-baked psychological drama doing a take at paranormal horror. No rhyme or reason. Poor script and plot holes let this movie down. Despite all this the fantastic acting by the two protagonists makes you empathise with them. The story is pretty harrowing, and I willingly fill in the gaps the filmmakers left.
Dead Again (1991)
Melodramatic nonsense
- Which convent/church order simply lets a woman with amnesia go off with a stranger without calling the police first?
- Mike can't have Grace admitted to the loony asylum so he takes her home?
- Random man walks into Mike's house and starts admiring his furniture, then proceeds to hypnotise Grace, and no one thinks this is weird?
- Newman makes crude jokes within earshot and everyone is alright with that? I'm not judging Newman, but the lack of reaction is as though the laughs are for effect and have no bearing on the characters.
- Random stranger shows up to claim Grace and Mike just lets him take her?
- If they really are switched in this life, why was Grace remembering from Margaret's p.o.v instead of Roman's?
Who tf wrote this script, a ten year old? How did this get so many good reviews? Were people stupid in the 90s? By any standards this was a terrible movie. Emma Thompson's passable performance. Kenneth Branaugh is a TERRIBLE director and WORSE actor. Gets a grand total of 1 because i can't give it a zero.
Army of the Dead (2021)
My brain is dead
It started out alright, building narrative arcs for each of the characters. Even the dumb ones that we know will die quickly. Then, there's zombie's everywhere, threat of a nuclear bomb, and the main characters are chatting about tofu?! Why, why do they make movies to hurt us like this?!
It's gets three points for having the living, the dead, and a tiger!
Child 44 (2015)
Confusing
Great acting. Poor storytelling, too many threads woven together in a higgeldypiggeldy way.
Entebbe (2018)
Don't listen to the naysayers
Like all movies based on true events, this is one take on it, and interpretation. If it's facts people wanted they should've gone to a news archive. All these people telling you how it should have been this way or the other ... for goodness sake, go make your own movie then! If they just wanted a re-make of the original then why didn't they just watch that! Or if they wanted gung-ho slapstick violence made for fragile masculinities they should've gone for American Sniper.
Those complaining about political bias in the movie only depict their own bigotry. It was, on balance, neutral, showing both the reasons as well as the sheer illogic and stupidity of terrorism as a political tool, as well as the political manoeuvring, undercutting and triumph of governments.
The characters in this movie are fairly well fleshed-out, going into the complexities and frailties of their motivations. If you wanted every narrative arc this could've been a mini-series. (But we've had enough Israel-Palestine conflict on the tv for decades now!) Rosamund Pike is particularly edgy because of her soulless 'dead' eyes; her mere presence creates tension and unease.
Overall, the themes of conflict, guilt, manipulation, fervour, and disappointment are depicted successfully. Regardless of my reservations against contemporary dance in general, and self-important choreographers in particular, the injection of abstract dance has it's reason - Ohad Naharin is a famous Israeli choreographer, and his works, some among which have had political leanings, have famously been protested across the world. It says something about Israel as a modern state with an 'international' identity on the world stage. Also, the inclusion of the narrative of the dancer and her solder bf says something about the lives of lay-people and their tie-ins with national identity, patriotism, or simply wanting to just get on with their lives.
This was a good movie.
The Gallows (2015)
don't waste your time
How do people get the funding to make such nonsense? There was potential for this to be interesting. But so much rubbish, from the terrible cinematography, pathetic script, completely unlikeable characters, and just idiotic plot, makes this an exercise in frustration. These characters are so mind-numbingly stupid they deserve every kind of pain possible.
Mohenjo Daro (2016)
Don't waste your time.
What utter tripe! More proof that Bollywood is just pathetic. Waste of resources.
Step Up All In (2014)
Such a load of...
...tripe! Absolutely stupid script, completely unbelievable characters.
The Avengers (2012)
Why is this movie so annoying?
Why do these films have so much jargon, delivered in mumbles, at diarrhoeretic speeds? How does anyone understand the film in one sitting at the cinemas?
It Chapter Two (2019)
Only watched it to know how it ended
So, is this a psychological horror or a monster flick? It can't decide. The little bits of dramatic connection between the characters is marred by cheap slapstick humour or cheesy shocks. Too many incongruous elements: Pennywise seems to be able to appear in dreams and thoughts, but seemingly can't just kill people when they're just within reach; he can shape shift at all other times, but can't just get close enough to attack people. So much stupidity it's unbelievable how many good actors decided to do this film. Such a waste of a budget.
Interstellar (2014)
Everyone who rated this good fell into a wormhole
Cons
- Science babble, forcing me to pause and question and clarify several times: some theories are based on our current understanding of physics and astronomy, and others are just stupid.
- There's one scene where there's dust all over the house, but nowhere along the fields when they're driving through
- Time-space warping wormhole but their spaceship is intact, they suffer no physical/psychological changes
- n-th dimension, and you end up behind the bookshelf in your old house??
- the whole "love" things was just cheesy
- they'd sent several ships prior, and then this one, but then no others in the interim years?
- it takes lightyears to get anywhere, yet they cross the blackhole in a matter of minutes
- Matthew McConaughey needs to learn diction!
Halloween (1978)
terrible
This is so terrible it's unbelievable. At every turn all the characters do the most implausible things. And the guy gets stabbed with a knitting needle, a coat hanger, a knife, and then gets shot several times, and still manages to walk away. Wtf?! Absolute time waste. Forced to give it 1 point. Blegh.