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Reviews
Seinfeld: The Dealership (1998)
Worst episode (except for "The Finale" of course) in Seinfeld's best season
The 9th and final season of Seinfeld is probably the best, but besides the terrible "Finale" and the "Chronicle" (clip show, doesn't really count) this is the worst episode of the season.
Another reviewer was incorrect in his score of ten stars, but was correct about the funny Kramer subplot and the dialogue exchange with the salesman. The other subplots seemed desperate and fell flat.
Something must have gone wrong that week. The gags were bad, the delivery was bad, and the supporting characters were bad. Except for Kramer, the main characters were way off their game, especially George, acting manic like someone going through a breakdown rather than a comedian being funny and entertaining.
Modern Family: Great Expectations (2009)
Claire's gift to Phil
Claire gets the former bass player from Spandaux Ballet to make a private appearance for Phil as a last minute anniversary gift because she thinks "True" (or something) is one of their (Phil and Claire) songs.
This is a very funny segment, partly due to Ed Norton's take as the former player. Also because, although it would be very much in his character to love Spandaux Ballet, Phil barely has a clue who Spandaux Ballet is.
The only flaw here is: how could someone of Phil's age not know who Spandaux Ballet is and not know the song "True." For Christ's sake, I hate that band and that song, but I must have heard it over a thousand times back in the day and since.
The Godfather (1972)
Maybe a better Michael Corleone was in there
I recently watched the Godfather again on DVD after many years - actually watched it twice. Obviously, this film is an icon in American pop-culture and there probably is nothing new to be said about it. But I will try to make a few fresh observations here.
After the first viewing about a week ago, I thought, this movie is sloppier and more sprawling than I remembered. After the second viewing, I saw how all the pieces came together to redefine the Hollywood gangster movie.
The sets, lighting, sound, dialogue and the entire atmosphere really draws the viewer into the past, even if the effect romanticizes gangster life. Most of the performers seemed to bring their best stuff to their roles. But, most of the main roles could have been fleshed-out more, in the script.
For example, two of the main actors, Marlon Brando as Vito Corleone and James Caan as Sonny, were very good and they could have carried more scenes. Also very good were some of the supporting actors like Richard Castellano as Clemenza, Sterling Hayden as McCluskey and especially Al Lettieri as Sollozzo. In fact, Lettieri was so compelling in his brief role as the criminal rival to the Corleone family that I wondered if he would have been better cast as the "hero" Michael Corleone.
Which brings me to Al Pacino's portrayal of Michael: Of course Pacino is one the great actors ever, but he underplayed the role and made Michael so lacking in charm and charisma, that I found it hard, not only to like him, but to believe he could pull off the things he did, like controlling a powerful crime family or even marrying a beautiful native girl during his time in Sicily.
I also found the portrayal of Tom Hagen a bit bland, probably more to do with the script than with the acting of Robert Duvall. Hagen was supposed to be an adopted family member, who was brought into the family as a boy and raised like a son and brother. Yet throughout the whole film, he never gets out of lawyer mode. Even actual lawyers frequently stop being a lawyer for a few minutes here and there.
A few scenes were a bit superfluous, particularly those featuring Diane Keaton as Michael's fiancé (maybe I'm just biased against Diane Keaton), but the Godfather is worth sitting through more than once.
Disclaimer: I never read the book by Mario Puzo. This review only concerns the film itself, independent of the source material.
Underworld: Awakening (2012)
A movie with few physical rules = pure garbage
This was the first and only Underworld I have seen. Even though the movie was only 88 minutes or so I found myself itching to leave before it ended. I also found myself commenting on the stupidity of this movie outloud in the theater - something I rarely do.
Apparently the unlikable vampire heroine, played by Kate Beckinsale, has no physical limits. She's stronger than Superman, faster than Flash, more agile than Spiderman and she can fly. Why are we watching? We know she can tear apart an endless stream of gigantic werewolves (called Lycans here, not that clever) with ease. And she can outgun any paramilitary police force no matter how much manpower, armor or artillery they have.
On top of all her superpowers, she has these magic pistols that never run out of ammo. She must have taken hundreds of thousands of rapid-fire shots with these wonderful weapons. I wondered, again outloud, "She obviously cannot be killed or defeated with all her superduper powers, and she gets the most amazingly powerful and concealable weapons on top of that. Wow! Can I be you, Kate Beckinsale?" And, "Who wrote this crap, a retarded, future psychotic, five-year-old?" My sincere apologies go to the retarded, future psychotic, five-year-olds out there.
The 3D effects were good, but the novelty wears off fast. The film-makers seem to realize that because, about halfway through, they barely bothered to continue the effects. By the way, I did not leave early because I was with a person who seemed to enjoy the movie; so maybe you'll like this @&%*!. One star.
Slap Shot (1977)
Slapshot has not aged well - only Hansons score
Too often Slapshot is mentioned at the top of such lists as: best sports comedy, best sports movie, best hockey movie etc. - sometimes even best comedy. I recently saw it again after many years and it has not aged well. The main problem is with the script and dialogue and that is a very serious problem.
I appreciate the main plot and themes of a minor league hockey team struggling to survive, but the actions and events are very contrived, especially the climactic striptease scene. The other "comic" actions and the "comedic" dialogue don't just fall flat, but they are outright embarrassing. Even Paul Newman manages to induce cringes.
The only redeeming parts of the movie, and the reason for my score of "3" is the appearance of the three "Hanson" brothers. Played by actual pro hockey players, the scenes where they are prominent are a joy to watch. Not only is it obvious that they are very good players and skaters, but their comic scenes are the only genuinely funny scenes in the movie.
The only reason to watch Slapshot is to observe the "Hanson" brothers in action. They don't appear until nearly halfway through and they only have about a half dozen short scenes - so keep your thumb near fast forward.