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jalfarmer
Reviews
Impractical Jokers (2011)
Lame, stupid, and not the least bit funny.
"Warning, this show contains scenes of graphic stupidity among four lifelong friends who compete to embarrass each other." If you think stupidity and embarrassment is funny this show is for you. I find it to be tedious, annoying, and not the least bit funny so I also find it odd that it gets such high marks on IMDB. Maybe it has something to do with laughter being contagious because these four morons laugh and titter like school girls and over react all the time to the idiotic pranks they pull on each other and the general public. Unless most of the things they pull on strangers are rehearsed I am surprised they do not get into trouble with the authorities and into physical and verbal altercations' with the people they punk on a regular basis. I have yet to laugh even once at this show and finally gave up on it.
Smallfoot (2018)
Average animation.
Smallfoot was entertaining in a minimalist perspective. The producers could not seem to figure out if they wanted to make a musical or an adventure with a moral conclusion requiring a total suspension of disbelief to even accept it as rational or realistic, but that is nothing new or unexpected. It was just not original and seemed to be a parody of Pixar animated movies that fell short.
Searching (2018)
Numerous plot holes, but entertaining.
The totally computer driven nature of the story was nothing original, but the way it was presented was unique, if a bit annoying. The numerous plot twists appeared to be an homage to "M. Night" Shyamalan from a fellow Indian amateur film director with an obvious digital and iPhone/computer addiction, along with a fixation on Shayamalan's derivative plot twists that ended up becoming uninteresting after "The Sixth Sense." Since the writer and director of this movie was 22 years old at the time I can forgive him to a certain extent, but in the end there was no closure about what happened to Defective Vick or her son. That was just left hanging in the aftermath after introducing them as the final plot twist at the end. I was very disappointed.
Mile 22 (2018)
Mark Walhberg is a terrible so called actor.
I will grant that that the script for this movie was dismal to say the least, but the even more dismal way that Wahlberg recited and phoned in his lines in such a stilted and mechanical manner made him seem more like a robot than an actual human being. I have never been impressed with Mark Wahlberg as an "actor", and remained unimpressed today. This movie did little to nothing to change my opinion
Kin (2018)
Boring and trite.
Was expecting a taught action Sci-Fi action thriller but ended up with a boring drawn out movie about a dysfunctional family with a convicted felon son and an adopted black son who happens to find an advanced weapon in a basement but never really does anything with it in a positive way and just defends his low life brother from other low life's trying to kill him. Then the inevitable twist at the end that makes no sense and has zero plot development to support it at all, and we are all left with no closure wondering what the point was, aside from a possible sequel.
The Weapon Hunter (2015)
Paul Shull is a phony!
Paul Shull never finds anything on his own, hence the term "hunter." Basically he is an uber geek with a really bad haircut and equally bad tattoos. I have lost count of how many of the "weapons" he seeks that he really has no idea about the way they work and has to be taught by the people he tracks down who actually possess the knowledge he needs to feed his show. What a waste of time!!
Baskets (2016)
Not funny! It is supposed to be a comedy, right?
Not funny at all, mainly just annoying. Zach Galifianakis is definitely an acquired taste, especially when he is playing twin brothers who hate each other. I cannot find a single reason to care about any of the vacuous characters in this insipid show so after 4 episodes without a single laugh I have totally lost interest.
Taboo (2017)
Hard to follow!
Thick British accents, low volume while the thick accents are being spoken, and a lack of anything resembling a cohesive plot render this series a very hard to follow waste of time. I will probably watch every episode just in hopes it will finally start to make some sense, but I lost track of what the actual plot is supposed to be after the second episode. The introduction of numerous characters with no back story or reason for their existence and purpose in furthering the "plot" of this black drama only adds to the lack of cohesion. In fact there is no explanation as yet concerning what Delaney is up to, what his intent is, or why there is so much prostitution and incest Tom Hardy surrounding a man who has been in Africa for so many years. Tom Hardy is in risk of being type cast as a dark villain if he keeps up his current trend.
D-War (2007)
Pure creature feature/action flick!
Is the acting mediocre? Yes, mostly. But bad acting is frequently the result of bad dialog and bad directing, and there was a reason for this. The creatures are the stars of this movie after all, not the humans, and the action is more important than the dialog or character development as a result. This movie is about mythological creatures and the struggle between good and evil, not good character development and meaningful dialog. Visually the movie is excellent. The CGI and cinematography are as good as any I've seen and the battle scenes were riveting.
This is the South Korean version of Godzilla using CGI instead of rubber suits and miniature sets. Watch it with that in mind and it's not that bad.
Facing the Giants (2006)
Laughed my ass off!!
This movie isn't about football at all. It's about Jesus/GOD!! It's the same kind of sappy sanctimonious religious drivel you get from those arch idiots who wrestle for Jesus, or pump iron for Jesus. Yeah, Jesus was totally buffed, liked contact sports, and definitely owned a full set of dumb bells. DUHHH! This movie should have been entitled "Hiking for Jesus," or something along those lines just to let the general public know that the real intent of this movie is to convert people to Christianity, and to pander to those whose brains have already been thoroughly washed in the blood of the lamb. That the title is derived from the Bible is made clear when the head coach is reading his Bible and asking Jesus for help. The recent sports movie "Invincible" was 100 times more inspiring than this was, and Jesus wasn't even a factor. It was just the desire and determination of an individual with a dream.
Any broad appeal as an inspirational sports movie is ultimately lost amidst all of the blatant Bible thumping and sanctimonious religious propaganda. One gets the impression that the sole message is the only way you can succeed and make positive gain is if you accept Jesus as your personal savior. But this is simply not true, and is therefore a lie being perpetuated by those who believe that it is true and want everyone else to believe it. The image of the winning athlete thanking Jesus when he wins comes directly to mind. What does he do when he loses? Does he curse Jesus? Of course not! When he loses Jesus isn't responsible. Jesus is only responsible when he wins. And the logic goes round and round and round, and it ends up exactly where the true believer needs it to be, every time!! I had to hit pause when the scene with the coach receiving a brand new truck came on so I could stop rolling on the floor laughing my ass off and catch my breath. Materialism is not what Jesus taught. I find it odd that most so called "Christians" seem to either forget or ignore this message from their "savior," especially when I see a Jesus fish on the back of a huge gas guzzling SUV that passes me like I'm standing still.
Another message this movie implies is that Jesus apparently cares more about the win loss record of a mediocre high school football team that he does about the millions of starving children in the world. The final scene where the insecure and unsure kicker boots a 51 yard field goal and it is hyped up as an unbelievably incredible miracle puts the final gag me with a spoon religious red flag on this turkey. I only gave it three stars because the guy who played the black coach could actually act.
Lost in Translation (2003)
Not good, but not bad.
The two main characters, Bob and Charlotte, are bored, lonely, having marriage problems, and are both "lost" in Tokyo in the same hotel. That's a good enough idea for a movie or play, and when the added intrigue of a fall/spring relationship between an older man and very young and nubile woman is added to the formula the possibilities are endless. Too bad this flick never delivered and remained a tepid peck on the cheek lets have a little fun and go our separate ways forbidden fruit never eaten or even touched listless foray into dismal boredom for all. I kept waiting for the plot or the dialog or the acting to invoke some kind of response from me, but all I got was a fuzzy sleep walk with beautiful cinematography and excellent cityscapes of Tokyo, but no emotional connection with any of the characters, which I gathered was the point of the movie. I have seen this movie twice, and the second watching didn't change my initial take on it.
If the point was for these two characters to have a chance encounter in a foreign land and alleviate each others creeping malaise, it works, up to a point. But the sparks never flew, and the fact that they never had sex and only exchanged a few awkward hugs and a couple of clumsy kisses leaves me scratching my head in dismay. The story didn't even have them going at it hot and heavy and on the verge of sex only to have them draw back at the last second, thus titillating the viewer without consummating, but we didn't even get that far. This situation had so much potential, but so little exploration of that potential.
On the plus side, again, the cinematography was superb, and we did get a look at Japanese culture in the post modernist age that is relatively accurate, which does redeem the director to some extent. But even then I can only give it a C grade.
Beyond the Wall of Sleep (2006)
Not worth the effort!
This movie is very loosely based on Lovecraft's original short story, and that only as a premise upon which the film makers desperately attempted to make a movie. Even the cover art of the DVD was misleading because none of the imagery on it ever appeared in the final version. Anyone who claims that this movie remains faithful to the original short story either read a different story or watched a different movie than I did. There was nothing even remotely resembling Amducious in the original story (where did that come from?), just as there was no rampant blood and guts, no conflict amongst the "alienists" in the asylum, no woman with an exposed brain (rip off of "Hannibal," no doubt), no brains in bottles, and no "evil" entity attempting to break through Sam's body. Taking some creative license is expected, but this movie just blatantly ripped off a Lovecraft premise and turned it into a lame joke. As a Lovecraft reader and fan I was offended and angry that his name and the title of his short story were stapled to this travesty just to sell tickets and DVD's. What a rip off! No, this is not a work of comic film noir genius and wasn't the least bit scary, people. If the DVD had any special features with the directors or producers stating that they were not really serious and that it was supposed to be more like a cheesy serial comedic send up with tongue firmly implanted in cheek I would go along with the joke, but I see no indication that the joke was intentional. Simply stated, this movie just plain sucked, and if I actually believed in such things I would have to say that H. P. Lovecraft is probably spinning in his grave.