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2/10
Stay far away
11 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This "movie" has the production of an unpaid local theatre group who got their hands on a camera and a couple lights. The lighting is flatter than a diving board. The only decent thing about this is the dialogue volume was almost consistent, so I guess there's that. The corpse you see throughout the movie looked decent as well, but that's about all you're going to get outta me. I have seen way worse acting in movies, but then again it's all over the place. Some are pretty decent, others definitely aren't. The DP did the best they could working in these conditions. I'd hate to rag on a low budget movie but if you're going to take one of the most beloved cult classics and just do this to it, I'm going to be more judgemental. Anyways, the sound design had way too much going on, the After Effects look stock, terrible lighting, terrible writing and dialogue, and terrible editing.
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Secret Window (2004)
7/10
Loved it when it came out
9 March 2023
I'm 42, just a year younger than Depp was when acting in this movie. I saw it when I was in my twenties and really loved it. I just rewatched it in my 40s and still enjoy it just as much, if not just a tid less than my initial viewing. The story holds up well, the production holds up well, and everything about it is quite good. Depp is a damn good character actor, obviously, but the real character actor goes to "Shooter". Tutorro really takes the cake here and Depp is second rate, not saying Depp deserves any hate. They play off each other perfectly. Is this a perfect movie? No... Is this a damn good movie? Yes.

This is before it's time for when True Crime became a big sensation. If you dig True Crime and love a fun spin, 100% watch this movie.
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Transylmania (2009)
3/10
15 year olds will like it
5 March 2023
Not the worst thing I've seen, it has some good set design and the production quality is there. The color grading is fine but they did the cardinal sin of day-to-night, but it's fine. The dialogue and jokes are straight out of a bad American Pie or National Lampoon franchise. They definitely don't understand that less is more, but they're trying to rapid fire jokes so when twenty don't land, one just might. This could have been a fun 80s comedy horror throw back if it wasn't filled with awful 2000s jokes. I really enjoy late night comedies, I just feel this one falls flat, or in the case of nearly every joke in the movie, falls flatulent. 10/10 Perfect movie.
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2/10
Avoid at all cost
19 February 2023
This movie makes Troma look like cinematic art. Flat lighting, bad sound design, and awful acting. There is nothing funny about this movie. Absolutely avoid this.

This movie makes Troma look like cinematic art. Flat lighting, bad sound design, and awful acting. There is nothing funny about this movie. Absolutely avoid this.

This movie makes Troma look like cinematic art. Flat lighting, bad sound design, and awful acting. There is nothing funny about this movie. Absolutely avoid this.

This movie makes Troma look like cinematic art. Flat lighting, bad sound design, and awful acting. There is nothing funny about this movie. Absolutely avoid this.
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The Whale (2022)
8/10
Whale that was good
23 January 2023
Brendan Fraser shows he's a masterclass and an A list actor once again. My partner found the story a little boring but there was a lot of layer to peel back to realize it's a fine story. I truly felt like I was watching a man's life story told in a few short final days of his life. There's not a lot of subtly to the symbolism but they don't beat you over the head with it. The dreary lighting in his apartment sets the tone right from the start. I highly recommend putting the phone down and paying attention to this movie. Even the parts that tend to drag on serve a purpose. Yes it's a long movie that never leaves an apartment, but it helps you understand what true depression is. Dylan has people that care for him and he's only stuck living in the past.
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Deadstream (2022)
8/10
So much fun
22 October 2022
I had a blast watching this. The lead in it is great and really makes this movie what it is. The special effects are pretty darn good for the most part. It's edited well considering and the sound design is also good. It's definitely a sleeper hit for people to watch. Now since IMDb wants full on essays, I'm just gonna copy and paste my review to get the required characters.

I had a blast watching this. The lead in it is great and really makes this movie what it is. The special effects are pretty darn good for the most part. It's edited well considering and the sound design is also good. It's definitely a sleeper hit for people to watch.
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Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
1/10
It's Disney Execs making a movie
3 October 2022
This was bad and Disney execs should feel bad. Mick Garris directed the first movie. Who did a few King adaptations in the 90s and did them well. This movie was done by a table of execs and you can tell. I was so bored by it, so annoyed by it, and simply just couldn't take it. I watched it twice and felt like they owed me for my time. There are a hundred better movies.im sorry to all the people that worked on this film. It was like watching a terrible Disney movie. I'd rather watch cancer form inside my own body. I'd rather watch alcoholism succumb to an actor in this movie. This was such a bad movie that it's making me hate the first one.
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The Munsters (2022)
6/10
Unexpectedly pretty good
29 September 2022
After the botched trailer, I really had 0 hope for this movie, yet I was compelled to watch it. The opening scene made me verbally laugh and the jokes were very on par wit the television show. After the end of the movie, it left me wanting more. It almost felt like a really long pilot to what could be a fun limited series. There was some definite missed moments and there could have been some cut scenes, but it wasn't anything that breaks the movie. I really wish they had an option for black and white, as I felt a lot of the high saturation was a bad call. But it's not all poppy colors, as the macabre parts were graded pretty decently. All in all, it's a good family movie that I know the kids will love, Sheri did a darn good job portraying Lilly, Grandpa was great, and Herman was fine (even tho I wish they deepened his voice in post).

Watch it with your kids. It's fun and goofy.
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Fatal Exam (1990)
1/10
Why is this 2 hours long?!
5 August 2022
Awful ADR, boring, and should never be watched by anyone. There is no "so bad it's good" here. It's so boring it's painful. Stay away from this movie. I have had more fun in a hospital waiting room.
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Resident Evil (2022)
2/10
MTVs version of Resident Evil
20 July 2022
I binged this show in a day and I forgot at times this was a Resident Evil show. If it wasn't for the Raccoon City parts, I wouldn't have guessed this was part of the IP.

This is a teen drama, a coming of age story. This is every mtv show outside of their "reality" series.

This show is fine for tween girls looking for a Stranger Things filler, but as an adult make it fails miserably, especially when wanting a good RE show. You'd think after the latest RE games they'd have more material than this.
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6/10
It was good until it wasnt
14 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
It starts off just amazing. Hilarious, brings you back, and has great character development. Then, mid season, the ideas run out and it has just a meh 3rd act.

It follows the South Park formula. Act 1, people being people. Act 2,things take a turn. Act 3, complete incompetent government taking over until act 1 goes full circle and erases everything.

I expected more from David Wain than this lazy writing but damn that first part is simply amazing.

6/10 cause the first 2 episodes are perfect.
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The Package (II) (2018)
2/10
It's bad. It's a waste of time.
14 July 2022
Watching this was a chore. There was 0 entertainment to this movie. I figured with the Workaholics production/endorsement it was going to be fine but it was like watching paint dry. I blame the writers and director 100%. They did nothing but create a terrible movie.

Avoid this movie. It's not even "so bad it's good". It's so bad it's boring.
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4/10
Stop making these
7 July 2022
The color grading, cinematography, and sound design were good. That's about where it stops tho. There is no atmosphere to this movie. That's the thing all these movies are missing. Not a single set designer seems to have paid attention to the original movie. None of them can get it right. This movie relies on gore than ambience. I'd be fine with that if it was literally any other movie.
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The Creeps (1997)
4/10
Classic Full Moon buffoonery
7 June 2022
Warning: Spoilers
It wasn't lol funny but it's good for a once over. If you ever wanted to see the rich snooty lady from Ace Ventura 2's boobs you get a solid 5 minutes of them.

It has a little better production value than most b-rate horror flics. Obviously the 90s special fx are dated, but with a movie like this you're not exactly taken out of the element. The acting sits at local theatre levels of commitment.

There's really no blood or violence except for a very small scene. If it wasn't for the one nude scene I'd say it'd be fine to watch for ten year olds.
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The Rocker (2008)
3/10
If Radio Disney and Live Laugh Love moms made a movie
31 March 2022
The movie starts out like it's actually going to be good, but even as a work of fiction it distances itself from reallity. The fact that the producers believe hair metal is relevant in the late 2000's and the fact that they'd let a cookie cutter Jonas Brothers rip off band open for them is laughable.
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Candy Corn (2019)
5/10
Pretty decent
24 March 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I am a connoisseur of low budget horror and this movie does it right. Good pacing, pretty all right acting, good sound, soundtrack, cinematography, lighting, and locations. Generally these movies really cut corners and this one definitely tried their best. The blood and gore was well done. I def recommend it if you're looking for a decently made indie horror.

My one big gripe is that it truly didn't need to be centered around Halloween. There wasn't much to do with Halloween and it seems like a hook to draw people in.

A traveling freak show with an immortal host with an undead anti-hero that acts as a slasher. Hrmm... Reminds me of a certain silent film from Germany. :)
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Nature Calls (2012)
3/10
I love a good camp movie...
16 March 2022
And this isn't one of them. There really is no plot, and it seems to focus on 3 idiot adults rather than the adventure. I actually get some enjoyment of of Bushwhacked, and this movie seems like a rip off of that.

I'd consider this a late-night comedy if you truly have seen better movies too many times and want to watch the worst camp movie of all time.
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Blair Witch (2016)
1/10
This could've been a YouTube fanfic video
14 January 2022
I put off watching this movie for years and I'm reminded why I did. I've seen family camping videos online that were scarier and better done than this, and they were filmed by children.

It's crazy how the camera goes to Shakey out of focus footage to cinema lenses real fast. The audio is like everyone is mic'ed up yet some of the footage is from handycams. Nothing about this is "found footage" but just low budget garbage of ppl walking in a forest with some garbage lore behind it.

I'd rather watch Jake Paul go to Japan and exploit suicide than this.

I'd rather play FMV games on my Sega CD than watch this again.

I'd rather watch my life grow shorter due to my crippling alcoholism than watch this again.

Avoid. Avoid this at all cost.
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Camp Lazlo! (2005–2008)
10/10
The show never declines through it's run
17 December 2021
Unlike some shows that start to run out of ideas after the 4th season, this one knew to call it quits perfectly at the right time. It has just enough episodes to binge and then set aside for a bit and start back up.

I love all the characters and they seem to be well thought out. A lot of camp centered shows just miss the mark about the meaning of going to camp but this one stays on course.
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1/10
So bad it's good
28 November 2021
Clearly this has basically nothing to do with Christmas but they really want to use that as a rope to pull you in. The plot and writing felt like it was written on a hungover Sunday and the cinematography was so bad that I'm pretty sure they didn't even check the footage to see if it was in focus or even level. The acting was The Room levels of amazing. It was stiffer than a corpse.

With all that being said, watch it with a group of friends and make a drinking game out of all the cliches. Have fun with it.
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The Great North (2021– )
4/10
I've seen worse, but I've definitely seen much better
18 October 2021
A lot of reviews hate this show or love it, and I think it's just milquetoast. I must say, however, this show came out when I started thinking Bobs Burgers went down in quality in their writing. So this just feels like the bad episodes of BB. The show is perfectly fine filler, but I'll never go out of my way to watch it.

As much as I love Will Forte, he really can't even save the show.
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Big Top Evil (2019)
1/10
Bad everything
10 October 2021
Another low budget community college film school dropout schlock movie written and filmed by incompetent people who thought making a movie was easier than they thought.

No color grading, no mastering of the sound, a script that was written in a drunken Tuesday night. And one take scenes.

Avoid.
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Demon House (2019)
1/10
Laughably terrible
4 October 2021
The only thing paranormal in this is Zach Baggins. This "documentary" has just as many paid shills in it as the 10 star reviews here on IMDB. It gave me some good laughs, knowing how fake it was and how badly Zach wants you to believe this is real. This is all fluff, and the LCD will be the only people who believe this is real. The only thing real about this is the one star reviews.
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Freaky (2020)
7/10
Freaky fun
24 September 2021
Solid teen slasher flick. Entertaining, good acting, not a lot of filler plot but has a good side story. Lighting, cinematography, and soundtrack are solid so props to the production crew. You can tell Vince Vaughn and everyone was having a good time while still showing off how he's an A-list actor.

Some Blumhouse movies are a waste of time, but this one is worth the watch. It has girl power without being in your face about it.
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Ghosts of War (2020)
5/10
Not bad but not a solid recommend
12 September 2021
The acting is pretty much there. The gore and special effects are pretty good for a low budget movie. It has an actual soundtrack instead of terrible b-rate metal bands.

If you're looking for a quick horror fix, go for it, but if you're looking for something that truly tells a story then it ain't happening here.

No spoilers, but there's a certain video game that the Writer/Director played that really inspired this movie, if you watch it, you'll know exactly which one.
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