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Reviews
Leave the World Behind (2023)
Over-Hyped, Under-performing
I noticed a review that stated this is a movie for "readers and thinkers". As I consider myself both, I must concur because it's certainly not for those looking for an entertaining movie. The only suspense in this film is if it will rise up to low level of the hype at any point. The cast is prolific and their performances are as good as can be expected. Of course, both Julia Roberts and Kevin Bacon starred in the truly suspenseful and thrilling "Flatliners". Ironically, this is also the term that adequately describes the script. It reaches its one and only level of tension in the first 15 minutes and never rises above it. In fact, from that moment on the film gradually decrescendos to its highly-panned conclusion. I would say the filmmaker got lazy, but this film never seemed very inspired to begin with.
Monsterland (2020)
Made it about 15 minutes
I'm afraid I was unable to make it any further than 15 minutes into episode one. I believe this is an anthology series, so I may try another episode. At the risk of sounding petty, it is what it is. I simply could not get passed Ms. Dever's accent. I gave it the old college try, but it was flawed to the point of distraction. First, she sounded more like a performer guest-starring in Hee Haw than any one legitimately from Louisiana. Then there was the fact the her young daughter seemed to have no accent at all. It may have been more tempting to try to push
on through, but this episode was very slow moving and slow developing. You may really enjoy it, as some have, but I think you may know one way or the other within fifteen minutes.
Forsaken (2015)
An updated, good ol' western drama
Granted, the motivating factor in my choosing to watch "Forsaken" was the curiosity of the on-screen chemistry between Donald and Keifer Sutherland. The fact that it was a western helped and with a 90-minute runtime, I assumed it was worth a Sunday night viewing. I mean, Bonanza was a weekly Sunday p.m. Habit for my dad. This one's for you, Pop.
Other reviews have mentioned the film's lack of originality which, I suppose, is valid. And it does get a tad slow about 1/3 way in. But the cast is strong and, as hoped and expected, the Sutherlands kept the film watchable and enjoyable. If you're aiming to kick the boots off for a spell and watch a pretty good moving picture, go for it.
Spiderhead (2022)
Very Disappointed
After browsing through trailers, I decided to give this one a go, though I'd never heard of it. Looking at the cast alone, you would understandably go into this flick anticipating a relatively entertaining hour and one-half or so. This is why I say I was very disappointed. It's just not very good. The main reason is the story. It's just not developed well and trods along sluggishly. Without giving any spoilers, the storyline seemed to have been written in a week by a table of writers who used to develop for 70-80's made-for-TV movies. Hey. You're going to each what you're going to watch, right? I'm just saying if you're expecting an edge-of-your-seat, heart-pounding thriller...this isn't it.
The Resort (2021)
Not THAT bad...but certainly one bad actor
I came into this viewing pretty much knowing what to expect. I thought, for a small production, not too bad. Usually, there are several poor actors in a flick like this, but actually there was only one performance that stood out as just flat-out bad; Dave Sheridan as the detective. Each scene he was in was more painful to watch than any of the on-screen killings.
You're better off watching the trailer as opposed to the entire movie. All of the action (very little) is there. The rest is pretty much the same, predictable banter you'll hear between two couples you see trouncing through an island in any other film of this genre.
Capone (2020)
A Bit Dull
I love Tom Hardy's work and "Capone" is no exception. He's doing the best with what he's been given, but even his performance can't save the lack of movement in the film. In short, it's boring. Linda Cardellini's performance as Mae is impressive, however.
What Lies Below (2020)
Acting isn't bad...but directing, editing, writing...you get the picture.
The quality level is exposed within the first 3-4 minutes; a driving sequence where the steering wheel never moves yet the back window green screen seems as if they are winding up Mount Shasta. The movie goes straight downhill from there. Never even finished it. Pretty insulting.
Lavender (2016)
Well acted, poorly written
Just a very slow film and not very entertaining. Things come together in the closing segments but it's not worth the boredom and disjointed scenes leading up to it.
A Boy Called Christmas (2021)
Definitely Not Disappointing
A refreshing twist on the origin of St. Nick! This could become a holiday classic in the years to come. It is well written and the acting is tree "topper" notch! Featuring the never-disappointing Dame Maggie Smith and a terrific, but brief, performance by Kristin Wiig.
The CGIs are better than I've seen in many major motion picture theatrical releases. The environments and creatures and critters are as engaging as the story itself. Pour the egg nog and enjoy!
The Disappointments Room (2016)
Horrible Movie
The acting was alright, but the story itself is extremely bland and uninteresting. Not in any way thrilling or remotely scary. Do yourself a favor and pass on this one.
The Inheritance (2020)
Uneventful and Uninspired
I'll be brief. This is not scary. It is directed well, the performances so-so, but the screenplay is more of a long-suffering, banal murder mystery. Other than a few bumps in the night (no visual frights at all), this is most definitely not a thriller or a horror. Several elements that do appear mysterious are never explained. Overall, an uninspired, even lazy effort.
Two Sentence Horror Stories: Bag Man (2021)
The Bag Man Was Actually the Hero
If there is a word to describe this episode, it is "potential". If there are two words they are "wasted potential". The writing is lazy and amateurish and the acting, for the most part, is simply bad. Very bad. The antagonistic "Bag Man" is actually the hero of the film because his design and blank grin is the only element that is good about this episode. How bad? It happened to be the first one I've watched of "Two Sentence Horror Stories" and, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, the last.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
Well Directed and Acted but Predictable.
After reading the reviews, I expected something especially creepy and unique. However, early on in the autopsy, when a paralyzing agent is mentioned, I would say most viewers, like me, already concluded the corpse was alive. I predicted the axing of his girlfriend as well. For me, it's the inability to predict a film, especially in this genre, that makes it a great film. This was a decent film, but not as good to me as it was to others.
The Lie (2018)
Major Plot Hole
For a film that reveals it's plot early, it's pretty slow moving until the last 15 minutes or so. Then again, this was never meant to be a Grindhouse production, but Blumhouse, so intensity isn't served up via explosions, chases and gore. It relies on suspense. I can say this flick is suspenseful and I guessed pretty early on that Brittney was alive...until the one shot of Brittney lying in the snow, dead, near the river. Granted, I may have missed something here, but the movie isn't strong enough to watch again or even to rewind to figure it out. She was lying in the snow with no one around. Just a shot of her lying there. Then she shows up at the end unharmed.
Venom (2018)
Long... No, not screen time
There's a difference between well-paced and slow. First, let us consider :45 minutes, a good amount of the run time, is spent on plot and character development. Considering both could have been established in half the time, to say the first :45 minutes are slow and grinding is an understatement. Another "longish" element is a car/motorcycle chase that probably would have allowed me to have a lobster brunch and still not miss much.
When the union of Venom and Tom Hardy's Eddie Brock (who absolutely saves this movie with his, um, "killer" performance) finally does take place, the digital effects are disappointing. Not what one would expect from Marvel Entertainment. One might even say some of the planning of the effects was a bit lazy. A scene where Eddie is sliding down the side of a building with relative ease doesn't make any sense when a shot a few moments later in the same sequence shows the the side of the building is a series of recessed windows - hardly a smooth surface. There are a few errors such as this.
Again, Tom Hardy's performance was the main reason if I finished viewing "Venom". The rest of the cast was suitable, though Michelle Williams and Riz Ahmed both seemed less than committed to their roles. This could have been a much higher quality film.
Creepshow: Skincrawlers/By the Silver Water of Lake Champlain (2019)
Scariest Thing? That This Episode Made it to Air
Aside from the antagonist stepfather, the acting is sub par, that's being polite, and the script was even worse. The dead creature is 3 feet in front of the boyfriend and when he's told it's "Champ", he'd rather believe it's a "messed-up whale"? Definitely the worst episode so far. If this episode begins, just press that little arrow pointing to the right on your remote. You're welcome.
The Head Hunter (2018)
Good Story - Slow Pace
This is, in no way, your typical low-budget film in regards to cinematography and story line. Having never heard of "The Head Hunter", I had no preconceived notions of what I was about to view besides the plot. That being said, the only real indication this was a low-budget production was the lack of action sequences, which would, of course, call for a much higher budget considering the storyline. However, therein lies the problem with "The Head Hunter". It's just a very slow-paced film. Man in house. Man hears horn alerting for rescue. Man returns with head. Man tends to wounds. Rinse and repeat. Even one 30-second battle sequence between man and beast would have broken up the monotony, which could have been done with abrupt and violent camera movements, sound effects (kudos, by the way, to the sound editors and foley artists for this film) and stunt work. But, again, let me reiterate, this is a fine film considering it's budget, just don't expect too much action from it if you are expecting Conan vs. Predator.
Helltown (2017)
Film School Exam?
Listen, if interesting enough, I'll sit through a film that attempts to pass itself off as a documentary, even if it's only remotely entertaining. This wasn't. Bad acting ruins everything. Some of it was decent. I was channel surfing and came across "Helltown." The acting was so poor that I only lasted about 10 minutes. I felt insulted that anyone would think I would enjoy this. Looking back on those 10 viewed minutes, I would be more apt to believe this was turned in as a high school, possibly college, film class project. Just not good.
Relic (2020)
Allegorical Mess
I get it. Dementia is a horror in and of itself. I am very sincere in this statement. But this film expended way too much effort trying to show itself an artistic allegory for dementia that "Relic" comes across as more mess than mystery. It is roughly 70 minutes of extremely boring set-up (save for one single, macabre dream sequence), followed by about 20 minutes of confusion disguised as euphemism.
The Witches (2020)
Hathaway Animated and Entertaining - The Film, Not So Much.
It was a relatively enjoyable flick, however, had I paid to see it, I would have been disappointed. Anne Hathaway held up her end very well, though at times her (Russian?) accent occasionally caused us to ask one another on a few occasions,"What did she say?" The CGI's were the only true disappointment. Some scenes were done relatively well while others came across looking very dated (think," Who Framed Roger Rabbit"). Had this not been 2020 and true theatrical releases all but gone, I would expect this to go straight-to-DVD, again, mostly due to the production value.
Ghost Ship (2002)
"The Shining" Goes To Sea
The thought of a dark and decaying cruise ship adrift since 1962 is creepy enough. Add the fact that it is haunted and this is a premise I can "dive" into. So why the 5 out of 10 stars and not higher? Because, disappointingly, the originality ends with the premise.
A pale, creepy, young girl, (ghost) with an empty stare in a pale blue dress. An apparent recovering alcoholic sitting at a long-since abandoned bar being poured drinks by a phantom bartender. A beautiful, young temptress who transforms into a (insert gasp here) old hag. Two unsuspecting men who are chowing down on food only to discover they've been eating maggots. Okay, so that last one was lifted from "Lost Boys".
Point being, yes. I realize this is probably an "homage" to "The Shining". But it would seem they were too busy re-writing "The Shining" to create a truly original and creative script.
It Follows (2014)
Complete Yawn-Fest
I'll be brief...as I wish this flick was. It came across as dis-jointed and less than gripping. It was so suspenseful and riveting that I found myself perusing Facebook instead of watching.