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Reviews
Argylle (2024)
Very bad
It somehow just worse and worse as the movie went know. Absolutely horrendous writing and an extremely predictable plot. I can't imagine all the money spent on are what otherwise are outstanding actors; Sam Rockwell, Bryce Dallas Howard, Brian Cranston, Katherine O'hara, Sam Jackson, Henry Cavill. I mean Sam Rockwell is kne of my favorite actors and while he was the bit of saving grace, along with Katherine O'Hara, but not nearly enough to make this flick redeemable. I definitely get what they were trying to do but it felt so unoriginal and the level of "silly" they were going for just morphed into unbearably awkward and contrived chemistry.
Ahsoka (2023)
Star Wars: Rebels (Season 5)
I have absolutely no idea why titled this show "Ahsoka". At best, she seems like a side character most of the series. At worst, I totally forget she is even a character on the show. This should have just been titled "Star Wars: Rebels" as it, for the vast majority of the series, is following that canon, picking up a few years after that series' finale, mainly following Sabine Wren on her journey to find the missing hero Ezra Bridger. Ahsoka Tano rarely even has screen time, with the characters of Rebels taking the lions share. Ray Stevenson (RIP) portrays Balen Skoll, a former Jedi General who made no attempt to rebuild the Jedi Order after order 66 and didn't even aid the rebel forces during the rebellion against the Empire, steals the show with his mysterious ambitions and rugged yet somehow dapper persona. It's a shame, as I know many SW universe fans love the character Ahsoka Tano and were most likely disappointed like myself to realize this series really doesn't have much to do with the beloved former Jedi.
Ms. Marvel (2022)
The Disney Channel makes a marvel mistake
Wow. Was expecting a cool origin story and interesting development. But don't e fooled like i was. This is just another Disney Channel show. Think iCarly or Hannah Montana. Pretty much the exact same production value and acting levels except we don't have to endure a cringe "live studio audience " laugh track or the "awwws" and "oooooohs". I liked the Avengers video game where you start playing as ms marvel and thought that would have been an awesome direction to go with but omg did they swing and miss with this heap. Do yourselves a favor and spare yourself from a single episode; that is unless you are a preteen and this kin of thing is your jam. Do not expect the mcu features that resemble loki, falcon and winter soldier, wandavision, etc. Or you will be sorely disappointed like I.
The Lair (2022)
Really REALLY Bad
I don't think a single acting class was taken between the dozen or so cast members. Cringe worthy, at best. Dialogue is so incredibly non-organic it borderlines on comical, but unfortunately it's not supposed to be. Very stereotypical characters all around from the slack jaw southern US soldiers, wirey SAS troops blurting out phrases no one understands or actually says IRL, to the noble Afghan just trying to survive the terrorist regimes. Completely unoriginal story. Resembles a straight to tv movie the Sci'Fi channel used to make back in the early 2000's. In no way resembles the great work he did with The Decent. If you want to watch a better version of this, check out Overlord, as it is extremely similar plot but way better acting, effects, and plus it's nazi's instead of absentee soviets.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
The worst in the series
Very untrue to all the characters and bad acting except for the 2 older gentlemen; the sheriff and the doctor. Just a shame. All the Mila movies are way better and even all the animated stuff. Sucks to think the direction they are taking the RE franchise with this and that God awful Netflix series. Feels like it was made by people who never played any of the games or original movie series but then had a 10 year old watch it and explain the concept to them. I mean how are you going to make Leon s. Kennedy such weak, pansie of a character and Wesker a local cop!? I'm not even going to get started on Jill or Claire.
Robert the Bruce (2019)
Just watch Outlaw King instead
Unfortunately they just really half butted this thing. It also didn't help that another of the exact same story was released simultaneously on Netflix, which was arguably much much better.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
Get out of here!
Just another franchise plagued by Hollywoods desire to appease all and what I'm guessing was major over reach by the studio on the writers and directors. Very strange choices for actors, especially when it came to the roles of Raiden and Shang Tsung. The acting wasn't all horrible, but unfortunately for the rest of the cast, the actor who played the role of Kano (who is supposed to be a side character/ henchman of sorts) stole the movie. Decent fight choreography but still nothing to brag about. Do yourself a favor and watch the animated version "scorpions revenge" and skip out on the live action dumpster fire.
The Magicians (2015)
Good first 2 seasons but then it just gets horrible
I really enjoyed the first 2 seasons of this show. While being a bit "tweeney" for my taste, it still had a very good fantasy story that at times would make terrified and others make you laugh. But then...Idk what happened. It's like they made you dislike 90% of the existing characters and loath all the mee ones introduced. The characters Margo and Penny are absolutely insufferable. Every single thing they say is so stupid and obnoxious, you wonder how the real actor just went along with it. It's a shame this show got bad. Somewhere around the middle of the third season I found myself wishing there wasnt a fourth season if you know what I mean.
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
One of the greatest comedies in history
Larry David is simply a comedic genius. I've watched all of curb 5 times over and still find myself laughing hysterically at least once during every episode. He brings to light all the little grievances we all experience through life and turns them into television gold. Is he a good guy? No. Is he a bad guy? You hope not bc chances are you are agreeing with him more often than not.
Ji zhi zhui ji (2017)
Yikes. The end of O. Bloom?
This movie is really really bad. Mostly on the part of the dialogue writers hut there is plenty of blame to go around. Whoever scored the music for the film also did an obnoxiously terrible job. I didnt Orlando Bloom was this down. If the release of the new show he stars in, Carnival Row, doesn't do well, I fear this might be the end of our beloved elven warrior.
The Foreigner (2017)
Wow. Jackie's best career performance
I was honestly amazed at the quality of the acting and writing in this movie. I'm a 80's/90's kid so I have the biggest guilty pleasure for bad and cheesy action flicks. This was not one of those movies. Chan gives his performance of a lifetime as the solemn, vengeful, mourning father. I felt his pain when the camera would capture it. Not exactly an original idea or plot but Chan and Brosnon make this film feel like it is.
Aladdin (2019)
High school musical, parkour, Aladdin
My god this movie was crap. Not even Will Smith could save this one. The actors who played the other 3 main roles (Aladdin, Jasmine, and, Jafar) are just horrible at their jobs. For the first 30 min I felt like I was watching a production at my local arts theater. From the CGI animals to the horrible original songs, to the cringe worthy solo number for Jasmine's character, this movie was an abomination and sad. Guy Ritchie used to be amazing but this could be the final nail in his "sellout " coffin.
6 Underground (2019)
Pretty, pretty, prettyyy awful
So incredibly dumb. Terrible dialogue writing. Stupid back story. 90% terrible acting. Lacking any sort of substance. I dont know why ryan Reynolds would do this movie besides a good paycheck. Michael Bay at his absolute worst.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Puke face emoji
Christ on a cracker...this was bad. Sad to see what the writers have done to this series. It's just terribly dumb and convoluted. The story is awful. I wish I could get my money back and somehow convince at least 1 person not to waste theirs. If I could save just one, it would be worth it. I dont see how this new trilogy has convinced any of the younger generations to jump on board the star wars fanboy train. At this point, they are cinematically comparable to whatever movie Dwayne Johnson has in theaters at any given weekend.
Timeline (2003)
Big ol pile of dooky
Man, I respect paul Walker and may he rest in peace, but holy crap is he a bad actor. Running scared might be the one exception to this, but Timeline is perhaps his worst. Decent scifi plot and the occasional good side actor, but the choreography is terrible, the dialogue is horrifyingly embarrassing for all the actors, and paul Walker is just simply unbearable. I'm serious. Like, I just wonder how any casting director saw this movie and then in the future was like "that guy. That guy is who I want". Again, may he rip.
Shazam! (2019)
Acting and writing is cringe worthy.
Yikes. 30 min into this one And I'm already mortified for the actors. Bad dialogue writing, terrible plot writing, and bad child actors give this one the smell of bad Hollywood poopy.
Bless the Harts (2019)
Very, very...not funny
Wow. I love almost everything kristen wigg and Mia Rudolph do, but this show is terrible. It's trying to be like king of the hill, poking fun at some stereotypical americana caricatures, but it's just not funny and not original. We know its possible with everything mike judge has made, bless the harts just isn't funny. Total shame. I dont see this show making it a second season. Honestly if it wasnt for the big names attached to it, I dont think they would have made it past the pilot episode.
It Chapter Two (2019)
Disappointment and 45 minutes to long
I mean there are scary parts, as to be expected. But nothing even remotely close to as petrifying as the original. I had high expectations for this movie with it's all star cast but it's sad when you have Bill Hader stealing the limelight from actors like Jessica Chastain and James McAvoy. Seriously though, Bill Hader was great. And besides all that , this movie could have ended 45 minutes earlier. A lot filler and repetition in the end. It got a bit ridiculous with the "oh you think its over", and cheesy relationship mending and even cheesier "closure " scenes.
Good Time (2017)
Nope Nope Nope
This is not some "deep" or intellectual movie like people are giving it credit for being. It's just kind of dumb honestly. It's hard watching robert Pattinson be a sleazy narcissist. The ending really left a lot to be desired. Idk. Maybe it just me but the only great part of this movie was the cinematography.
Mindhunter (2017)
Absolutely outstanding
This show is one of the best, if not THE best, true crime series...ever. The acting is incredible. Not a single weak link or even average performance in the series. The interviews are by far the best part of the show. They entrench you into the mindset of the killers. And to hear them talk about their motives, rituals, strategies, etcetera is bone chilling.
The Dirt (2019)
I was Pleasantly wrong about this one
I dont like hair metal. I dont like motley crew. But I liked this movie. It's not groundbreaking or anything but its raw. And shockingly true. That's what happens when you give a bunch of young alcoholic, drug abusers millions of dollars and infinite fame. It's hard to say I wouldn't have done the same. I will say my most pleasant surprise about this movie was the acting. I've heard and seen most of these guys in other stuff but for the most part it was garbage acting (with the exception of the guy who played Mars). But they all killed it in this movie. Even MGK! Who ended up giving the best performance in my opinion.
Roman Empire (2016)
It's a documentary with expensive reenactments
I love Roman history. I've been fascinated with it for years and this show was a great addition to my addiction. While it seems like a narrated version of drama series like game of thrones or Spartacus, this is actually a historically accurate documentary with expensive reenactments. People say the acting is just ok, bit for a docu-series I've never seen better. And the narrating of Sean Bean!? I mean come on ... what more can you ask for?
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)
Better than the movies
Let me start by saying I like star wars, but dont love it. So sue me. That being said, I have watched the clone wars 2 times over again and it is by far my favorite installment of the series. There is so much more character development, background information, and honestly better story telling than in any of the movies. This in my opinion was not a show for kids. It is just as violent, if not more than the movies. I highly suggest this show to anyone. Star wars fans or not.
PEN15 (2019)
Nostalgia
I was in the same grade the same year as maya and Anna. They really capture the essence of that age and era and now that I'm 30, bring feelings of nostalgia. I give it a 6 out of 10 bc since I have a bias of the common age, I found the show to be slightly above average. Acting is decent, nothing special. Stories are semi original. Comedy is good, not great. Def worth a watch if you grew up during this time and I appreciate being a targeted audience.
PEN15 (2019)
Nostalgia
I was in the same grade the same year as maya and Anna. They really capture the essence of that age and era and now that I'm 30, bring feelings of nostalgia. I give it a 6 out of 10 bc since I have a bias of the common age, I found the show to be slightly above average. Acting is decent, nothing special. Stories are semi original. Comedy is good, not great. Def worth a watch if you grew up during this time and I appreciate being a targeted audience.