Reviews

This has got to be the dumbest, most embarrassing thing I've ever seen. Where do I begin? Watching these actors crawl around, pretending to be blind, while executing fight scenes... speaking in tongues, as if humanity forgot how to speak English, simply because their eyes don't work. It's insulting to the blind to suggest that if we all lost our sight we'd speak like savages. When they do speak "normally" they use terms like "sun grave" instead of sunset, or "the coming of the water" instead of "my water just broke"... I mean, I was rolling my eyes and laughing at this nonsense only thirty seconds into the first episode. I'm am so second-hand embarrassed for the people who wrote this drivel.

Really. Someone manages to throw a rope around someone else's neck with perfect precision (on the first attempt mind you) and no one accidentally stabs the wrong person in a violent attack? Can they smell each other? Is that how they know who to kill and who not to kill in a mob full of blind people?

Don't even get me started on blind characters who make perfectly symmetrical, color-blocked clothing, adorned with perfectly symmetrical embellishments THAT NO ONE CAN EVEN SEE. Or the guy who someone found two matching feathers of the exact same size, shape, color, and affixed them so perfectly to his hat with the plumage and pattern in the right direction. Why is it necessary? Why is the queen wearing impressive, embellished crowns THAT NO ONE CAN EVEN SEE? Why are they applying war paint to their faces THAT NO ONE CAN EVEN SEE? Who are you trying to intimidate? No one can see you!

I have no words for the queen's "prayer". I consider myself a pretty raunchy person when it comes to my sense of humor, but that display was gratuitous and nasty. It was there purely for shock factor and it was just as trite and embarrassing as the rest of this trainwreck.

For all those who say the concept is so original... it's not. The plot is straight ripped from a Portuguese novel called "Blindness", which was adapted into a film starring Julianne Moore in 2008. It depicts a rapidly spreading virus which turns people blind, and how society collapses as a result. Granted these showrunners have taken it much farther... but it feels like they watched "Blindess" and decided to run with the idea. And poorly at that. "Blindness" was itself poorly executed as far as I'm concerned, which doesn't say much for the way that authors handle the concept.

For a show about blind people, they sure do a lot of flourishing, campy nonsense and have Jason Momoa do "cool stuff" for the camera. I felt like I was watching a really bad acting class pretend to be blind for an hour, and they came up with some really cliché, borderline offensive content. To me, this contained a whole lot of cheesy ideas that were strung together by even cheesier writers. Honestly, it makes The Fast and the Furious look like stellar, Oscar-worthy material.

I'm supposed to believe they didn't X-ray an animatronic doll before it was brought into the White House? I'm supposed to believe that top-notch forensics weren't performed on a body found at the White House? Newsflash: if a gun is found loosely placed in a blood-soaked hand, but the finger is not on the trigger, that would immediately tell everyone it wasn't suicide for two reasons: your hand doesn't change positions when you're dead, and there can't be blood on your palm under the gun if you were holding it! Pretty basic, people!

I've been a fan of the Child's Play series since the original, so I'm willing to suspend my disbelief and make room for a little bit of cheesiness... but this has been one of laziest, most implausible, and frankly poorly directed things on television. I've tried to overlook things over the seasons-from a body falling backwards out a window but then landing face down, to characters magically having phone numbers without explanation... the writers seem to type this stuff in a rush in the middle of the night and then quickly film it the next day without considering all the holes in the plot and/or direction. Everything is so very convenient and coincidental that it's pretty hard to swallow. Characters jump to conclusions which make no sense, and often times they're shoehorned into scenarios that wouldn't happen in reality, because in this world police don't follow protocols. Or doctors. Or teachers. Or any adult, really.

To make matters worse, I can't figure out who the target audience is. It's too unintelligent and juvenile to be for adults, but then it's way too violent for kids.

None of the original movies were this lazy. Even the more recent ones had minor flaws at best, but were still enjoyable without me feeling the need to skewer them. Jennifer Tilly has been the best thing about this series and to their credit, the only decent, sensible plot lines focused on her. It's as if they ran out of steam whenever they weren't writing her material. I expect the creative team to apply a little bit of common sense. What I'm witnessing is poor workmanship all around, and you can't pass it off as the genre.

The poor reviews posted here seem to be based on a common misunderstanding: that this is a nonsensical and boring introduction to a supposedly highly praised series. This is due to a huge flaw in the way in which Battlestar Galactica is presented on IMDb and on streaming services. "33" is technically not the first episode of the series. In actual fact, there is a two-part pilot miniseries (running 180 minutes) which sets up the events of the series. It's typically packaged separately, which causes a great deal of confusion for those who are not aware of the proper viewing order. A serious flaw on the part of the creators, to be sure. But one might understand better if the series is viewed from the proper beginning.

Additionally, one should also be aware that this is not a traditional sci-fi. If you're looking for blinking lights and transporters and long-winded conversation about fancy futuristic technology... look somewhere else. This show is about human behavior and the human condition. It's about people first and foremost; it just happens to take place in space. In the same way that a show taking place in the western United States doesn't automatically make it a Western genre series about the Wild West. Do Battlestar fans consider it sci-fi? Absolutely. But it's a reinvention of sci-fi.

Those who take issue with the mention of god/gods have clearly missed the point of the underlying social commentary. They've also overlooked the obvious possibility for sci-fi to put science and reason to the concept of gods and higher powers, or to view all of these concepts from a philosophical view, which is where Battlestar differs from sci-fi of the past. While previous shows in this genre took a more literal approach with "cool technology" and gimmicks, Battlestar sets the stage with how people react emotionally to fear, and war, and loss, and trauma, and all of the flaws in the human condition. It makes us think about our own humanity-and what makes us human. One needs only to look at present day sci-fi to see how Battlestar influenced the genre and changed everything (even current Stark Trek incarnations) to embrace serialized dramatic storytelling with darker tones and more human substance, now preferring that structure over old-fashioned isolated, self-contained episodes in which everything resets back to normal at the end of the hour.

This movie clearly appeals to a certain demographic - and from reading the wildly differing reviews, it's clearly misunderstood by people who should not have walked into the cinema to begin with. There's a way to offer differing opinions without being morally insulting to the creators or to those who appreciate it, though. Simply put, Seth Rogen and this particular troupe of actors have a very specific "green" following. This movie was never meant to appeal to everyone. It's unabashedly for a crowd that indulges in some of that organic greenery beforehand. If you've seen any of their previous movies, then you know that going in. If you haven't, well, then you made an unfortunate mistake. One doesn't walk into a Cheech & Chong movie and then complain about the amount of marijuana without sounding a tad naïve.

To begin with, this is a social commentary on the drugs and debauchery and vanity of Hollywood - and the self-centered actors who probably feel largely invincible most of the time. To criticize the movie for satirizing these things only proves that one don't understand satirical comedy. In fairness, yes, the jokes are likely only going to land with an audience that is just as stoned or drunk as the people on screen, and that's because the plot is written like a bad trip. That's the whole point! What makes a good movie is being able to take your audience along for the ride. And in this case (as with many others) Rogen knows that there are millions upon millions of people out there who like to watch movies (his and others) stoned. Being high for this is like being a rollercoaster drop that never ends. It's insanity as soon as the action starts unfolding. The inebriated audience feels just as lost and panicked as the cast while it's happening - and that's what makes it great, while you're going through it with them.

The plotlines are surely the reactions of people who have lived a largely vapid existence and do way too much partying to really know how to deal with what's happening. But that doesn't make the creators or the audience members who appreciate it lesser human beings. Some of the backlash has a very conservative and judgmental undertone, which is totally unwarranted and unfair. To each their own, I say. But at least give credit where credit is due. Some of the most influential geniuses and prolific artists/creators in history (if not all of them) indulged in various vices and you're kidding yourself if you believe otherwise. That's not to say that I'm calling Rogen and company geniuses, or that this movie is a historical classic... but I'm not entirely ruling out that making fun of themselves for the debauched people they are isn't also worthy of some respect and admiration. They managed to give their pot-smoking audience a really great trip, knowing they'd be totally high going into this. They took us on a ride along with the cast, in a sense making it interactive because the cast was as stoned as we were.

They movie doesn't tell you to get high first. That would be unethical. But it's implied when you see who's in it and who made it. You don't have to be high to watch it... but you definitely understand the intensity and the mind-numbingly awkward conversations if you are.

All in all, the bad reviews seem more about general discomfort with the subject matter than an actual critiquing of the story or the plot - and that can be whittled down to an unprepared audience member walking into a movie they had no business seeing if they hadn't smoked a joint first. It's probably safe to say that if you like your greenery when you watch a movie, then you'll probably enjoy this experience. If you're sober, it's not really meant for you. This is not Frozen. This is an audience tripping out to a cast who are themselves tripping out at the end of the world. Maybe there is something genius in that.

While sometimes captivating when it explores lost cities or missing airplanes, this show teeters more towards sunken ship exploration 99% of the time. I waited years to finally sit down and enjoy what seemed like a great concept - and I was all in for a show about geology and geography; exploring the deepest trenches and unseen landscapes we never see. Unfortunately, this show is not that. It hasn't taught me anything I haven't already learned from other historical documentaries. Too much time is spent giving a history lesson, and then the ocean is very briefly drained. I eventually found myself skipping episodes because there are only so many sunken nazi warships and u-boats I can take before the show becomes one-note. Even an episode about the Egyptian desert someone manages to focus on mysterious boats buried in middle of the desert. Enough with the boats already. There are a few interesting nuggets - such as the underwater geography of Alcatraz and how it played a part in derailing potential escapees; the search for Atlantis and the sunken Port Royal, showing all the potential for what this show should be - but episodes like that feel few and far between. I expected a more even distribution of shipwrecks, differing world coastlines, continental shelves, coral reefs, what islands really look like with water drained away, etc. Quite frankly, this show would be more accurately titled "Draining Sunken Ships" because that seems to be the focus.

Contrary to all the negative flack that this movie received on this site, it garnered quite a following a quite a number of award nominations, Oscars and Golden Globes included. The bad reviews use words like "class" - and overly uptight terms like "bathroom scenes" or "pooh scenes" which caused audience members to "cover their eyes". This leads me to the natural conclusion that those who disliked the movie are somewhat of a conservative crowd who want women to behave a certain way and dislike ballsy humor. Perhaps they expected something fluffier because it starred women in pink dresses. Perhaps they feel that women shouldn't be this crass or sarcastic; that only men should be allowed to behave this way. Well, for once, women in film stopped acting like Hollywood caricatures and started acting like real women who I know and love. THAT'S why people react so favorably and appreciate this movie. For once, men weren't the raucous, offensive ones in the spotlight while women were relegated to being clumsy or having their skirts blown up. Aren't you tired of female comedies in which the lead protagonist is funny because she falls? I am. I stopped counting the number of trailers that feature women falling for laughs, while men get to be real and raw. Now, look, everyone appreciates a different kind of humor. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I tend to appreciate more sarcastic and often offensive material that challenges the norm. For that reason, this movie is right up my alley. If you want a feel-good tampon commercial, this isn't it. This movie is for people who are tired of seeing women act prim and proper. It's for people who know that real women can be proper if they choose, but some are also just like this and they're finally being depicted in the movies. If men made this movie, we wouldn't be having a debate about it. Their behavior would be totally acceptable. I knew what to expect from this movie and I got it - and then some. They went above and beyond my expectation. If you didn't realize that a comedy starring this particular cast would be offensive, then you've been living under a rock. That's like going to see Kathy Griffin or Margaret Cho and expecting a church sermon. That's YOUR bad. And to the person who thought it was unrealistically annoying that someone would lose control of the decision-making for their own wedding... have you ever actually been involved in a wedding? I have. Many of them. And that really does happen. Stress, pressure from family, it gets away from you faster than you know and takes on a life of its own.