To be clear, I haven't seen this movie, nor do I want to.
I'd just like to point out that, being a longtime fan of Dingo's masterpieces, I know exactly what they're all about.
All I needed to see was a single thumbnail to make a single judgement.
I've seen just about every lazy, copied & recycled awful character model that they have, so seeing a live action actor was a bit of a rare treat.
Given that info, I can safely say that the guy's white wig is probably the best thing Dingo has ever put into one of their films.
However, I'm pretty sure they stole the d-mn thing, because they steal everything.
If you have the balls to steal other ppl's cartoons & call them your own, then you definitely have the balls to steal a freaking wig. It's not rocket science.
Peace, yo,
XSvendSorenson
Ps stealing is bad. Don't be like Dingo. Don't steal, kids! Copyright is very real, & they will have your a$$ if you do. Usually. Unless you're Dingo. Then you'll somehow magically get away with it. That's how Dingo magic works. It's the opposite of Disney Magic, & also it's a lot less magical.
Reviews
7 Reviews
Battlefield Earth
(2000)
There Was Some Mild Effort Put In Here.....
3 May 2020
That being said, all of it went towards the hokey, way over-the-top, over-zealous, over-inflated, over-dramatic acting. It was like watching the sci-fi space edition of Rupaul's Drag Race & you know what?
I kind of enjoyed it.
However, I wasn't exactly a fan of the movie's lack of glitter & back rolls, but I did see quite the array of bad lace fronts, insane makeup, & some very queen-ish behavior (especially from our dear friend Mr Travolta), so that was good enough for me.
Please do give this one a spin.
As the kids would say, it's pretty dam "extra" so it fits in perfectly with today's "reality" television shows. Even though the film takes itself takes itself so seriously to a point that it's obviously hilarious, I highly recommend that you do not do the same. Needless to say, People who don't have a very prompt sense of humor WILL NOT FIND THIS CHARMING.
Just picture Star Wars &/or Star Trek mashed up together in a very potent concoction alongside mass helpings of Tommy Wiseau's The Room, & Presto!
Either you'll love it or you'll find it absolutely abysmal.
Peace mofos! - Svend Sorensen
The Christmas Light
(1995 Video)
One Word: Extraordinary
26 December 2019
Oh. Right. My review. Can't forget that now, can we?
When I said this movie was extraordinary in my tagline/headliner thingie, I wasn't kidding.
It is extraordinary.
Extraordinarily BAD!
Alright. I guess imma big fat liar then, because that was two words but who really cares?
I'm not gonna change the title. It's not worth the extra effort, especially since it was a whole lot harder to actually watch the effffing thing than to put in any of my input, which was a dmn chore to do.
That being said, I'm still not as lazy as the aforementioned animators, & that's really saying something.
I mean if you lookup the definition of the word "lazy" in the dictionary, you'll find my picture under it all it's glorious laziness.
Needless to say, after watching all these crummy movies, I really need to up my lazy game if I wanna be a worthy competitor. I am rarely bested by anyone in levels of effortlessness.
However, from a more realistic point of view, the people who made this should definitely be ashamed, while you, as the audience, should be definitely be terrified.
However, for all you sadists & masochists like me out there, or if you just simply enjoy things that suck, this movie is just for you.
Cheers,
S.S.
P.s. RIP BRAIN CELLS!!
Steven Spielberg really outdid himself
30 January 2019
Clearly, out of all of the Jurassic Park/World sequels, Dinosaur Island is obviously the most realistic & scientifically accurate.
Both the graphics & storyline were very riveting. I can tell the people over at Wolf Tracer put a lot of effort into providing only the best quality entertainment for its valued viewers. They put so much love & care into this little gem that I almost want to vomit.
For all you fans out there of the smash hits Food Fight & Rap City Street Kids (Which is also by Wolf Tracer btw) it'll really quench your sadistic thirsts for sh!tty-azz garbage.
Have fun.
Both the graphics & storyline were very riveting. I can tell the people over at Wolf Tracer put a lot of effort into providing only the best quality entertainment for its valued viewers. They put so much love & care into this little gem that I almost want to vomit.
For all you fans out there of the smash hits Food Fight & Rap City Street Kids (Which is also by Wolf Tracer btw) it'll really quench your sadistic thirsts for sh!tty-azz garbage.
Have fun.
Wabuu the Cheeky Raccoon
(1996 Video)
What a Movie This Was!
22 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
When it comes to bad movies I have a rather refined palette, and I have Animal Soccer world to thank for opening me up to the grand universe of Dingo Pictures.
So, naturally, I used to believe that they couldn't get any lower than animal soccer world and that nothing could ever be more abysmal than it.
Boy, was I naive.
Then, as fate would have it, I stumbled across this hot mess.
Holy smokes.
Dingo really outdid themselves for this one.
Now I know I sarcastically said that about animal soccer world too, but I'm starting to reconsider everything that I b**ched about before in my previous review. Come to think of it, I think I'll take back what I said about animal soccer world being the worst piece of sh!t Dingo has ever shat out. This sh!t right here.... Man.... I need a second. Alright. Strap yourselves in. It's time to review The Wabuu Movie.
So, upon taking one quick look at the animation a few seconds into it, I knew I had found something special. I also knew I was in for a treat the minute I figured out there were only two voice actors in this whole thing, likely consisting of a father & a young son who barely know any English whatsoever.
I mean, for Christ's sakes, just everything in this piece of sh!* was so goddamned pathetic that it's honestly not even funny anymore,I swear to god! Their usual sh!tt!ness, which actually used to be sort of charming in its own stupid way, has now definitely overstayed its welcome. I finally feel like this might have pushed me over the edge. I just got frickin tired of it. This, just all of it, was just so, so so bad! I had to turn off the tv for a second, in order to recover what little sanity I had left in me.
There is absolutely nothing redeemable about The Wabuu Movie. It's nearly unwatchable.
Maybe the only moment In it worth mentioning that actually made me grin a little bit was when the raccoon got sh!t on by some birds. Yeah, that happened. I kid you not! They even made the effort to draw the white bird sh!t dripping down Wabuu's face, probably making it the best scene in the whole film and perhaps my favorite one, not just because of the stellar animation on display but also because they actually show us some splendidly terrible sh!tting action onscreen , which is an act that I firmly believe best summarizes the entire story, as I think that feces should be symbolically synonymous with Dingo Pictures as a whole company in general. It's also nice that they don't shy away from showing the audience some good old fashioned fecal matter.
Speaking of sh!t, one of the characters actually says that word. Literally. He just mutters it right under his breath, and they really don't even try to attempt to censor it. Matter of fact the other characters just kinda roll with it. One of em even scolds him for it, saying "there's no need to curse."
Yeah. Ya got that right! You said it, buddy! There is no need to curse in a kid's film. So why the heck did you just do it then???!!
Whatever. I suppose I'll have to let that one go.
I mean, I should've expected no less from Dingo at this point. Anyway, it's not like I watch these things because they're GOOD! Of course not!! That'd make too much sense! I watch this kinda crud BECAUSE it's bad!
What ticks me off about these mockbusters, however, is that they've been developed solely to deceive people into buying their garbage by disguising themselves to look like other films usually produced by some big brand-name companies such as Disney or Dreamworks.
Sadly, it's usually the elderly folk who fall for this type of mockery, making them, once again, yet another age-targeted prey item for these scammers to be attracted to.
I don't how many of these crooks actually considered that there is, in fact, a small demographic of weird-a$$ people like me out there who legitimately enjoy crappy movies like these.... Is it masochistic? Probably. Do I care? No. Not at all. Am I stupid? I'd like to think not. I think I'm relatively sentient. Would I ever pay money for The Wabuu, or any mockbusters for that matter??!! Oh god no! Not a chance in he//!! That's what YouTube's for, so thank you, YouTube. You are a saint and I love you. (Also, as a side note to the poor person that's reading this, I'd like to let you know that you can, indeed, buy some of Dingo's masterpieces on Amazon, & I don't recommend doing this! It is way overpriced! I've seen some of their crap ranging from $13 to, & I I'm not joking here, $60!! $60!!! Not particularly a good investment, but who am I to judge??) Honestly, I find myself watching more sh!tty films than actuality decent ones, not only because they are free & I am broke, but partially because I find it more appealing to be able to complain about something rather than being able to praise it. To me, it's just more interesting to b!tch about a movie versus kissing a movie's a$$. It's sorta nice to take out your anger on something so inept while laughing yourself to tears. Also, if you suck at art, like I do, then Dingo Pictures will really make you feel so much better about your artistic abilities or about the fact that you aren't so shameless as to put them out on full display to the entire world in such a ghastly manner as these jackals do for a quick buck. These glorious abominations are probably just the movies for you, then! So, in conclusion, if you have the gall to watch The Wabuu or anything at all ever made by Dingo Pictures, then please bring an extra pair of pants & underwear, or perhaps several, since you'll be firing from both ends from laughing like you've never laughed before. Or you could wear adult diapers. That always works.
With love,
X Svend Sorensen
Now I know I sarcastically said that about animal soccer world too, but I'm starting to reconsider everything that I b**ched about before in my previous review. Come to think of it, I think I'll take back what I said about animal soccer world being the worst piece of sh!t Dingo has ever shat out. This sh!t right here.... Man.... I need a second. Alright. Strap yourselves in. It's time to review The Wabuu Movie.
So, upon taking one quick look at the animation a few seconds into it, I knew I had found something special. I also knew I was in for a treat the minute I figured out there were only two voice actors in this whole thing, likely consisting of a father & a young son who barely know any English whatsoever.
I mean, for Christ's sakes, just everything in this piece of sh!* was so goddamned pathetic that it's honestly not even funny anymore,I swear to god! Their usual sh!tt!ness, which actually used to be sort of charming in its own stupid way, has now definitely overstayed its welcome. I finally feel like this might have pushed me over the edge. I just got frickin tired of it. This, just all of it, was just so, so so bad! I had to turn off the tv for a second, in order to recover what little sanity I had left in me.
There is absolutely nothing redeemable about The Wabuu Movie. It's nearly unwatchable.
Maybe the only moment In it worth mentioning that actually made me grin a little bit was when the raccoon got sh!t on by some birds. Yeah, that happened. I kid you not! They even made the effort to draw the white bird sh!t dripping down Wabuu's face, probably making it the best scene in the whole film and perhaps my favorite one, not just because of the stellar animation on display but also because they actually show us some splendidly terrible sh!tting action onscreen , which is an act that I firmly believe best summarizes the entire story, as I think that feces should be symbolically synonymous with Dingo Pictures as a whole company in general. It's also nice that they don't shy away from showing the audience some good old fashioned fecal matter.
Speaking of sh!t, one of the characters actually says that word. Literally. He just mutters it right under his breath, and they really don't even try to attempt to censor it. Matter of fact the other characters just kinda roll with it. One of em even scolds him for it, saying "there's no need to curse."
Yeah. Ya got that right! You said it, buddy! There is no need to curse in a kid's film. So why the heck did you just do it then???!!
Whatever. I suppose I'll have to let that one go.
I mean, I should've expected no less from Dingo at this point. Anyway, it's not like I watch these things because they're GOOD! Of course not!! That'd make too much sense! I watch this kinda crud BECAUSE it's bad!
What ticks me off about these mockbusters, however, is that they've been developed solely to deceive people into buying their garbage by disguising themselves to look like other films usually produced by some big brand-name companies such as Disney or Dreamworks.
Sadly, it's usually the elderly folk who fall for this type of mockery, making them, once again, yet another age-targeted prey item for these scammers to be attracted to.
I don't how many of these crooks actually considered that there is, in fact, a small demographic of weird-a$$ people like me out there who legitimately enjoy crappy movies like these.... Is it masochistic? Probably. Do I care? No. Not at all. Am I stupid? I'd like to think not. I think I'm relatively sentient. Would I ever pay money for The Wabuu, or any mockbusters for that matter??!! Oh god no! Not a chance in he//!! That's what YouTube's for, so thank you, YouTube. You are a saint and I love you. (Also, as a side note to the poor person that's reading this, I'd like to let you know that you can, indeed, buy some of Dingo's masterpieces on Amazon, & I don't recommend doing this! It is way overpriced! I've seen some of their crap ranging from $13 to, & I I'm not joking here, $60!! $60!!! Not particularly a good investment, but who am I to judge??) Honestly, I find myself watching more sh!tty films than actuality decent ones, not only because they are free & I am broke, but partially because I find it more appealing to be able to complain about something rather than being able to praise it. To me, it's just more interesting to b!tch about a movie versus kissing a movie's a$$. It's sorta nice to take out your anger on something so inept while laughing yourself to tears. Also, if you suck at art, like I do, then Dingo Pictures will really make you feel so much better about your artistic abilities or about the fact that you aren't so shameless as to put them out on full display to the entire world in such a ghastly manner as these jackals do for a quick buck. These glorious abominations are probably just the movies for you, then! So, in conclusion, if you have the gall to watch The Wabuu or anything at all ever made by Dingo Pictures, then please bring an extra pair of pants & underwear, or perhaps several, since you'll be firing from both ends from laughing like you've never laughed before. Or you could wear adult diapers. That always works.
With love,
X Svend Sorensen
Lion and the King
(2006 Video Game)
Disney Doesn't Hold A Candle To Dingo
12 April 2017
Dingo Pictures continues to wow audiences all over the globe with their breathtaking spectacles, & Son of the Lion King is no exception, leaving me flabbergasted in the wake of its utter majesty. Somebody out there has a very talented toddler, since I've never seen such young children ever animate their own movies before. Of course, back on planet reality, I'm nearly 99% sure adults made this. What I am not so sure about is the state of their sanity. They obviously thought they could get away with the sheer plagiarism of their insanely shoddy Lion King knock off or else they wouldn't have stolen crappy pictures from their child's coloring books & attempted to "animate" their sloppy collage. And you know what? They did get away with it. At the very least, they're not in jail, as far as I care to know, so investing a singular quarter & a whole hour of their time really paid off. Honestly, I hope these guys used their profits to get themselves the rehab that they so desperately needed. To me, all of their "movies" are desperate cries for help, & likely speak of both hardcore drug addictions & severe mental illnesses.
Overall, it just makes me feel better thinking that they are in a better place today then they were yesterday as I laugh my a** off at this elegant piece of comedic gold.
Overall, it just makes me feel better thinking that they are in a better place today then they were yesterday as I laugh my a** off at this elegant piece of comedic gold.
Animal Soccer World
(2005 Video Game)
A Magnificent Spectacle
10 April 2017
I'm having problems wrapping my head around animal soccer world. I mean, you could just ask for drug money the old fashioned way via telephone or panhandling on the streets, but why not make desperate art out of it? It's a new one, I'll give em that, and it's actually a pretty creative way to heckle people, so that's well, something. I give the dingo pictures team props for convincing themselves that they're functioning addicts but their works will sure as damn hell prove otherwise. I at least hope they paid that poor Spanish immigrant who voiced all of their bastardized characters, or at least bought him dinner or something. He did not deserve any of this & I refuse to demonize him. Hes probably an OK person. I wouldn't know. I don't know him personally. What I do know is that he's a tremendously shitty actor, so if he thought dingo pictures was some sort of a gateway to a Hollywood breakthrough, then, boy, was he in for one hell of a surprise. As a matter of fact, I actually pity this fellow, largely because I have a sneaking suspicion that he may have been randomly kidnapped by the producers from a local Walmart & forced at gun point to provide the voices for the entire cast of sloppily traced animals. This poor fellow is the reason I gave this movie a measly one star, even though I shouldn't have given it anything, but I reckon he's in a state of unfathomable, eternal embarrassment.
As for the plot of the movie, it just makes no frigging sense. Poorly animated Animals play soccer. And that's what they do. Play soccer & talk about random, half butted nonsense. The only way this horse crap would even be considered remotely acceptable is if a toddler made it. However, seeing that two grown, fully developed adults are actually behind this instead of a small child, I can automatically deduce that they are either inept or crooked or both.
As for the plot of the movie, it just makes no frigging sense. Poorly animated Animals play soccer. And that's what they do. Play soccer & talk about random, half butted nonsense. The only way this horse crap would even be considered remotely acceptable is if a toddler made it. However, seeing that two grown, fully developed adults are actually behind this instead of a small child, I can automatically deduce that they are either inept or crooked or both.
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