Reviews

Pretentious noir high school project. Well shot and acted but even on full blast audio I cant tell the hell they are saying. Everything is mumbled and the final scene the background noise of the cars going past makes understand what is beings said near impossible without subtitles.

Maybe though this is deliberate to distract from the nonsensical clichéd dialogue. Also, it was way too long and had no memorable characters. There is a plot I am sure but the lack of intelligible dialogue makes it a 2 and half hr bore.

Disclosure: No, I am not a Feminist. Moving on..

This was just dull and I found myself looking away and checking my phone. There are no real characters in the film just a bunch of actresses there to move the story. They are nothing more than props in that regard.

The film is kinda like an essay. It tries to give context of the time it took place and that is good but the downside is there is no focus and lacks energy. On top of that it doesn't really go into much depth anyway and portrays men as just kinda like pricks, even though there were male supporters and the movement got more funded than the Labour party. So it fails in all ways. Its not entertaining and it isn't that factual, for instance not all men had the vote at that time.

Edge v Christian (Cage Match):

It's strange how a tag team has zero chemistry when fighting each other. It's slow to the point Christian even goes for a headlock although the ending is fairly innovative.

Scotty 2 Hotty v Hurricane

This is a much better match and crowd were more in to it.

DDP v Big Show

Its a Big Show match so you know what to expect. There have been far worse though. DDP is very likable. Also is it me or is there a Greece flag at every PPV?

Dudleys v APA v Hardys (WCW tag titles)

There's not much to say about this. There's work rate its just not a memorable match.

Regal v Tajiri

Regal gives a LOL promo suggesting the crowd have spent their "dole money" for tickets. I thought this was a fine 6 minute match and Tajiri is so stiff with his kicks.

Jericho v Angle (WCW title)

This is a really good pure wrestling match

The Rock does a backstage promo and I ain't gonna lie. Its cringeworthy.

Lita and Torie v Stacy Kiebler and Mighty Molly (Trish special guest)

Passable

Austin v Rock

A surprisingly A level main event for a British PPV. This is one of those matches that I call "walkie" matches. By that I mean there is a lot of walking around with both guys on the outside of the ring with punches, kicks, table spots and the occasional suplex here and there but its largely filler. I'm not a fan of these matches but if you are an Austin or Rock fan you probably want to see this match but its nothing you haven't seen before.

Overall:

Watch Rock v Austin if you are a fan of either. Watch Angle v Jericho if you are a fan of either or good wrestling. Its quite unusual to have so many clean finishes at this time in WWE history so its a nice change of pace. The downside is nothing significant of consequence happens.

Christian and Test v Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert:

The ending got a big pop with Scotty 2 Hotty and the Worm. Rather short and forgettable to rate highly.

Edge v Regal (IC title):

You could tell WWE really wanted to make Edge strong, here. Another forgettable match. The fans wanted blood. They got none.

Flair and Angle have a really good back stage segment.

Matt v Jeff (Lita special guest ref):

Really good package promo for this, summing up the rivalry.

You know what? I am with Matt's side on this one. As for the match? Just like how Edge v Christian was a surprising dud so was this.

For some reason neither Matt nor Jeff got a good pop to their entrance. The crowd was dead. Jeff definitely got more cheers than Matt and he got the baby face comeback routine, whereas Matt got the heel working on the limb routine. I point that out because both guys careers would go different directions with Jeff being far more popular. Not a great match at all but not as bad as people make it out. It was a solid wrestling match and with some good psychology, which the Hardys are often accused of being deficient, but the crowd just weren't into it. I guess the fans just didn't want to see them fight. It's better than the Edge v Christian matches but a bad start.

Dudleys v Kane and Big Show (Tag titles):

The audience sucks. They don't care for this one either although to be fair the Dudleys at this point were getting a bit tiring and the Big Show and Kane were rather aimless with little to do. Big Show spanking Stacy got the fans into this. This was a better match than a match with Kane and Bigshow should have been but nothing special so far.

Undertaker v RVD (hardcore title):

Just going to say it. Undertaker is the opposite of cool. He comes off like an old man trying to stay "hip" by riding a bike to the ring and wearing glasses, whilst calling himself a "bad ass". Not a good match. It goes into the crowd which is a trope common at this time but it sucks. It slows the match down and is boring. Not a good match at all and I blame Undertaker. RVD has had a really good year, especially on PPV. His matches against Jeff Hardy and Y2J were some of the best of the year. This was slow, boring and safe for the most part. DUD. Crowd enjoyed it though.

Jacqueline v Trish (womens title):

Botchfest but Jacqueline is really stiff which is nice to see. Really bad PPV so far. Its up to the main event to save the show.

Angle v Austin (WWF title):

Fans looked bored. This match was a lot like the Taker/Austin match at Judgement Day. Lots of stomps and lacking in energy and creativity. Match just kinda ends.

Rock v Jericho (WCW title):

Much like the last match, albeit maybe more energy. Jericho put Rock in a head lock for what felt like 5 minutes. Rock did well to give Jericho offense but the match gets lost on the outside of the ring, so the match never really gets much momentum, until the end where it gets over booked from this point.

Main event (WWF and WCW title):

Much like Austin v Angle but with much over booking.

Overall:

Bad PPV but with historic significance. My only explanation is that the guys were jaded but not a single memorable match on the card makes this the worst of the year, despite the significance. Crowd was dead for most of it. Poor effort.

The Invasion Angle sucked. Not only did they not get the WCW top stars but what we got was 4-5 months of 50-50 booking and WCW stars, like Booker T, get humiliated. The McMahons were also sickeningly over the product, making nearly every match end with an overbooked ending. The post WM 17 product became an annoying McMahon soap opera and the fans didn't like it one bit hence the sharp ratings decline at this point.

This PPV opens with a really really good opening hype video with the song "The End".

Christian v Al Snow (European title):

Not horrible but nobody cared about Al Snow. Slow paced. No energy. No intensity and screamed of filler. Skippable.

William Regal v Tajiri:

I'm fairly sure that this was the debut of Regal's darker/serious theme. Tajiri is just so fun to watch and hearing his kicks connect and the crowd awwing. Regal got a bloody nose very early on. Short match and probably not a classic but crowd into it and Regal looked good.

Test v Edge (IC and US title unification):

Edge and Christian haven't impressed me this year at all. Edge is obviously technically a very good wrestler and with work ethic but there is something about his matches which just put me to sleep and its the same with this match, too. I think Edge just lacks that bit of interplay transitions that guys like Daniel Bryan had/have. The crowd seemed a bit bored until the final 1/4th where it picks up. Best match so far.

Dudleys v Hardys cage match (WCW/WWF tag tile unification):

This has been a great year for the Hardys, especially Jeff who stole the show at Invasion and salvaged what would have been a dreadful PPV. The Dudleys have done well for a tag team but seemed typecast as one dimensional heels and would struggle as singles competitors.

Strangely despite being a no DQ match tags are still needed but then they seemed to completely forget about the rules and it becomes tornado tag rules. Go figure. The crowd were real into it as you'd expect. Both teams are really in tune with each other and we see some really good spots without the match feeling like a spot fest. Really good match and definitely worth a watch.

ECW v WWF Battle Royal:

Complete filler match. The announcer cant even be bothered announcing the names of the low carders. Complete dud.

Womens 6 woman title match:

Like the cage match I have no idea what the rules if any were for this but its actually a really good womens match. Probably the best of the year.

Alliance v the WWF

I doubt when WWF bought WCW they expected to see the WCW/ECW team led by Austin, Kurt Angle and a non wrestler Shane McMahon (eye roll). This match was a disappointment before it began. No prizes for guessing who the moles in the teams are. It begs the question if X and Y were moles why did they not just tag themselves out of the match? Why did Austin not tap out of the Rock's sharpshooter when he did in the cage match the RAW after Mania? Why did Austin try to his Rock with the belt when DQ's do matter? Why did Taker lose to a stunner but he has kicked out of it before in his feud with Austin? Why did the Alliance not break pinfall attempts like Shane did....speaking of which

Shane McMahon breaks up many pinfalls in this match (like five at least) and the referee of course does nothing because screw the rules Shane has money I guess. Good God was he annoying and not in the good way. He really inserted himself into many story lines and shouldn't have been on that team because HE IS NOT A WRESTLER. If Shane comes back I hope its not in a wrestling capacity.

Anyway the match itself was fine. Personally I am not a fan of these matches because guys get eliminated too quickly and in ways they wouldn't in any other match. That being said everybody got time to do something and it went on for a good amount of time as it should. The crowd were really into it and it told a good story and that is all that matters. The ending feels epic, as it should, like the ending to Rocky movies. It doesn't matter if it made no sense. Match of the night and maybe the year. Heyman's reaction was Godly.

Overall. A good way to end a really poor storyline. Best matches are the main event followed by the Hardy v Dudleys and the womens wrestling match.

Post WM17 PPV's were/are pretty bland so far minus SummerSlam and this is another one.

Hardys v Hurricane and Storm for tag titles:

Fast paced tag team match. Very good effort for all involved. A good start.

Test v Kane:

Surprisingly decent, considering Kane is a pretty mediocre wrestler at best but barely memorable. The match does beg the question of why Kane's mask doesn't seem to protect him from Test's big boot to the face. Crowd were really into it.

Torrie Wilson v Kiebler:

You know what to expect. Fast forward.

Edge v Christian (ladder match):

The last PPV match was a real dud and this PPV match has the same problems. It is slow and lacks psychology. We see some really good set pieces that look very painful, which I am sure they were, but its all exactly that- set pieces. There is very little momentum and everything is paused for breath in between those set pieces. The match was also really long and dragged out. Not good.

Dudleys v Big Show and Tajiri:

Definitely not as good as the Hardy match. Much slower and less interesting but not bad. The match doesn't end cleanly, which is something of a theme in this PPV and this era of wrestling quite frankly. Skippable for sure.

Undertaker v Booker T:

You can imagine how this match would go and end in your mind. Booker T isn't a good wrestler at all and neither was Taker at this point in time, quite frankly. Lots of "brawling" which is codename for stalling, punching and poor psychology. Lots of "near pinfalls" AKA pins after doing something simple like a clothesline. Man I really hate that in pro wrestling. Surprisingly Undertaker got booed as he did an Old School, which may have been a sign of sympathy for Booker T. Not a good showing by either. It's insane how protected Undertaker was and how bad a wrestler Booker T was. Definitely skip this one.

Jericho v The Rock (WCW title):

This was a really good performance from both men. Both had great work ethic. Very fast paced. Neither really had chemistry and it just felt a bit laboured and through the emotions. It seemed too orchestrated and a bit of everything, including a rockbottom through the table (EVEN THOUGH ITS A DQ COUNT MATCH!) which didn't get punished. I really hate that trope. The fans were pro Rock but you could hear boos for the Rock at points. There was a couple of funny botches. Jericho going over the top turnbuckle before being hit by the Rock and failing to kick the chair out of the ring. It's the best match of the night and was given a good length of time but the match doesn't end clean, which is infuriating for the wrong reasons. There was way too much 50-50 booking and non clean matches during this period and run ins from Steph, Vince and Shane. I like how Rock's punches sound like they connect and the match picks up at the end but it still felt laboured and through the emotions. If you are a Jericho fan then watch this. If not don't feel too bad if you don't.

Austin v RVD v Angle (for the WWF title):

Fast paced match with an overbooked end. Another high profile match that doesn't end cleanly. Not bad. Not memorable. Skippable.

Overall:

Just watch the Rock/Jericho match if you are a fan of either. The McMahons are simply unbearable at this point, revolving the show around them. There is far too many run ins and sort of represents everything wrong at this point of the Invasion angle.

This PPV had lots of work ethic but lacked a particularly memorable match.

The opening tag team was decent and rather high tempo but nothing really special and we have seen the Dudleys v Hardys many times by now.

Perry Saturn v Rave.

Saturn is actually a really good wrestler and has a really good repertoire. Its a decent match for the time allocated but neither really convince that Saturn's romantic interest, a mop, had been sent into a wood cutter by Raven. A decent match for 5 minutes.

Christian gives a very meh backstage promo before his match before Edge but debuts his new theme.

Edge v Christian.

You'd think this would be better being that they are former tag team partners but it dragged and stalled. It was a very meh match with few back and forth innovation and LOTS of unconvincing pinfall attempts, before finally ending with a non clean finish. Poor match.

Kane and Taker v Kronik

This match is rather infamous for the botches of Kronik. At one point taker screams the F word after a botched jaw breaker and there were a few other botches. It actually isn't a bad or boring match, however. By no means the worst in history.

Jericho v RVD

RVD was really over at this point. More over than Jericho himself. The match is really good. Lots of really good wrestling which before RVD showed up, the hardcore division was getting really lazy. It takes a while to get to the weapons and instead we get head scissors and ground wrestling looking for pinfall attempts. There is a lot of counters to each others moves, which make this surprisingly a better wrestling match than a hardcore. Sadly it doesn't end cleanly and could have been a classic if it had gone on longer.

I still rate RVD's matches against Jeff Hardy slightly higher but best match of the night for sure.

Rock v Booker T and Shane McMahon

Just going to say it. Booker T can't wrestle. His wrestling revolves around irish whips (so does the Rock) and its very evident that he is communicating because he slaps the back of his opponent very noticeably. He also comes across as lost and not sure what to do next. At one point he does a snapmare waits a second then does a pin attempt. This match is basically like the Edge v Christian match but with Shane doing 2-1 antics on the apron, so its slightly more interesting but the match itself is slow and gimmicky.

Tajiri v Rhyno

Its always fun watching Tajiri. His kicks actually sound like they hurt and he gets in a few really good ones.

Angle v Austin

This is not a good match. Certainly not as good as the match at Summer Slam. Lots of punches and stalling. This match should really have been the match at Summer Slam but as it is it comes off as slow. There was even one part where Angle throws Austin off the stage and instead of jumping down to continue his attack he walks down the ramp to get to Austin. Basically stalling for time. Again. Not a good match.

Overall it was an OK PPV. Certainly could have been better. Sadly Jericho v RVD didn't get more time and a clean finish but ends before it was just getting really good. Austin v Angle was sleep inducing which it really needed to be better for what was to happen.

5.5/10

The standard for torture porn isn't exactly high but it isn't so low that you can substitute being a passable well made film with torturing the viewer with boredom, which this final installment does.

The first two at least had some kind of passable narrative and were decently shot and edited. This on the other hand can't get the basics right. The acting is god awful. Its worse than just being flat because the main character, governor Hughes, yells out every damn line he has. Even after this it still somehow has the problem of NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR/UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING. The audio is pretty poor. The dialogue at times is muffled by the soundtrack, which is pretty pathetic. How long is the film? 2hrs and 20 minutes! If you are going to make a piece of crap then at least make it 1hr and 30 max.

So what about the "plot"? Governor Hughes is shown the first two films first thing in the film. You would think that the main character, Hughes, a over the top Texan loudmouth psychopath who abuses his prisoners, would get the idea that he has been shown the film because his accountant wants to do it for real. Nope. Instead we have a long drawn out tour of the prison. There is though a decent message to the film about the state of prison abuse and the contempt of the Americans to actually care. Sadly it beats you over the head with it in the final 20 minutes of the film.

As for the gore there are two decent scenes. There is a waterboarding with boiling water and a mutilation. I would not watch the film just to see those scenes simply because it is surrounded by 2 hrs of yelling and boredom.

Human Centipede is a sad, and surprisingly tame and boring, end to the series.

Tl;DR version= it was well produced from a cinematic POV but was underwhelming from a story telling POV.

The film was too long. The run time is I think 2 and a half hrs long when you add in the actual ET review

Some things needed to be cut that surprises me that were not cut. For example, there was a scene whereby they drive into the desert and Cooper says "nearly there". This footage was completely unnecessary because they already had a sort of montage of being in the van in the desert.

There was also 2 characters that were added in that were not in the show: cooper and Mandi. Cooper was added very abruptly and without a real introduction of why he is in the film. Neither really added anything and the film would have easily been better if they were not in the film. The fight scenes with Mandi for instance had no interest whatsoever.

The script is the biggest weakness, with a lot of jokes falling either flat or worse. The film loses focus around the 50/60 minute mark and a lot of this is due to the quick changing of locations. The film kind of throws in too much at the end and without pause for breath or explanation for what is going on. This is compounded with the music which likewise doesn't pause for breath but emphasises action, which is quite tiring toward the end.

There are a lot of film references and is quite obvious James real strength is with horror. The nightmare sequence was very well done. I also liked ET who was very likable.

Overall its not a bad film at all and James can be very pleased with the experience. I would like to see the film cut by 20-30 minutes but I am not sure if that much can be cut as the plot is quite thick if still simple.

I saw this film after hearing about how the director got 'trolled' on IMDb , with 1/10 ratings. Many of those ratings obviously duplicates. Nevertheless, the director insists that we actually watch the film before judging. That sounds reasonable so I did. The film is even on YouTube.

The film is about some guy who works for the IRS and is accused of racially profiling some (arab?) guy on a plane, for having a violin thinking it was a bomb. To be fair the guy was also watching a video of 9-11. Anyhow he is demoted to an assignment administrating a brothel in Nevada, where he finds out that he may have been right to be suspicious after all.

The YouTube version actually begins with a 5 minute director presentation flogging his herbal merchandise. If you can't be bothered to watch the whole film I implore you to watch this first 5 minutes for it's unintentional hilarity. The director is asked questions by an overly eager interviewer, and the director himself admits to being tired as he hadn't had much sleep. I guess it's hard to describe in words but it just oozed with awkwardness. It's like a Bruce Willis interview.

The first 30 minutes I was somewhat hooked from the obvious so bad it's good. The acting and writing is clumsy and robotic. There is the scene early on where this IRS protagonist is appealing to the tribuneral. The response from the female head of this tribunal, and i'm not sure if it's the acting, writing or both, is is bland and overly long. It's like a long sentence with no punctuation. Unfortunately the so bad it's good loses it's appeal after the first 50 or so minutes. The film is surprisingly long for what it is and would have been better if it was at least 20 minutes shorter than it is. The film is also not so subtle in it's libertarian messages.

Is it the worst film ever? No, not even close. The sound is good. I can hear what the actors are saying and that automatically puts it above many of the dreadful indie films you see on those obscure TV channels. Enjoy it for what it is.

Expectations were obviously very high for this following the Dark Knight so putting that aside I've tried to review this objectively as if I hadn't seen the excellent predecessor.

Well the performances were all good. Baines voice wasn't as incomprehensible as the backlash from the trailer had made it out to be. He was also a worthy villain for somebody who looks like a bad guy pro wrestler. Hathaway portrays a very credible cat woman and everything is well produced as you would expect from Chris Knolan.

So where does it fall down? Well put simply it's pretty forgettable. Seeing the Dark Knight just once I can still recollect many scenes particularly with the Joker. I can remember the body swinging off the window with a thud. I can remember the frightening home made video tape with the Joker and the pencil to the eye. All great stuff. This film I have the feeling that I wont remember anything. There's nothing wrong with it. The pacing is fine, the acting is fine and the story is fine. It's just not that remember-able. The acting scenes are a little bland and some of the dialogue a little pretentious.

Despite not reaching the top notes otherwise it's a well shot and entertaining film.

Synopsis:

The boys attempt to rejuvenate an internet meme that has become out of date whilst politicians see the meme culture as a problem.

You can tell it's a bad episode of South Park when it follows it's own clichés:

-The absurd Newsreport channel that is repeated at nausea.Check.

-politicians and officials who act incredibly stupid and yell a lot. Check.

-A satire on a form of pop culture. Check.

-Violence and gore for the sake of it with no build up. Check.

-Dialogue which doesn't make the boys sound like real people but instead like characters whose main focus is to get to the end of the plot. Check.

The episode was very much formulaic, dull and a let down. Of course it's nowhere near as bad as 'A Million Little Fibres' but it's not exactly saying much. The only decent moments are the return of "bad kitty"- Cartmans' cat.

This "film" has made 300.000% profit and shows us why we all need to be carefull of what critics say.When this "film" came out it gained huge support from the media for this incredibly low bugeted "film".Now don't get me wrong just because a film is low budgeted doesn't make it god awful but the blair witch project has 0 for thought and how on earth the media got away with the push for this "film" is shocking.

This "film" is meant to be a horror and I honestly couldn't tell from watching.I admit the idea of campers going into a forrest with a cam corder only to get lost and spooked may sound like the ingredients for an average film but what exactly am i suppost to be afraid of? very tame the most unimaginetive script ever.

Watching this "film" I felt like I had been cheated because the script could of been done better by an 8 year old.The script consists of teenagers getting into heated arguments with one another.It's like something you would get from your own family accept your paying to watch it.Sounds wonderful.

Finally onto the execution or the lack of it and i'm not going to go deep into it because if i continue to ramble on and on about it then i'll be here on all night but the film seems to pride itself on laziness almost as if it's deliberately laughing at itself and you for that.

This "film" may have fooled people a while back but now it should be revealed and shamed

Well don't get me wrong this is not a bad film but it's clear that fan support flatter the score.I'm a simpsons fan myself and watched the week it came out but despite some luaghs in the cinema it felt polite and out of respect.

The jokes are just down right pathetic and just too slapstick trash comedy.The trailer pretty much shows the better ones or the least worse ones anyway.Spider pig? what were they thinking???? and the plot in general was a disappointment reflecting the weaknesses that the show has had in the last seasons.An example of this neglect was Mr Burns easily the most popular non Simpson character and yet he is barely mentioned which is just bizare considering he's a natural villain.

On the positive side the animation is amazing and I cant remember the last time seeing a cartoon movie as most seem dominated and flooded by cgi.

Overall the film just played flat and a non simpsons fan may be bored as this film struggled to fill the 87 minuites and it shows.