Change Your Image
davittennis
Reviews
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Barely fit for human consumption
Strange storyline that I still can't lock down but at the end of the day day meh I don't care, self serving nonsense bordering on utterly rediculous.
Russel Crowe acted like Russel Crowe after too many rum and cokes which by the look of it is every night.
Utterly disappointed unfortunately. Be a challenge to watch anything from these too again after spiderhead was poorly cast, acted and completely rediculous in every department.
Boss Level (2020)
Like a 'graphic' computer game brought to life.
I absolutely loved this film, kaboom!
Most certainly Not for the faint of heart. This is bang bang, stabby stabby, ka boom, platt from start to finish!
Frank Grillo is an amazing specimen, trained in the deadly arts almost like no other but you always get the feeling he is actually a really nice bloke. Built and ripped so impressively from years of combat sports he's a pleasure to watch and with his skills it's as if he slows down some of his moves so you can see how he does it which any martial arts fan will instantly appreciate.
Not for kids, perhaps teens but it is violence from beginning to end but deliberately humorous computer game style violence with reduced gore but still very graphic.
Just awesome 80's style action flick with good guy vs supervillain bad guy to save his girl. Let the bullets and knives and rockets and grenades and cars fly!
Chosen (2022)
Faithful portrayal of small town drudgery
I really liked this but it takes patience. I can see others mention it is too drawn out but to me that is a pertinent part of the story.
If you have lived in a small post industrial town this portrayal of slow, paranoid, conservative driven directionless life of an intelligent teen drowning in pathetic normalcy is well portrayed.
I feel we are spoon fed shallow narratives and have all become accustomed to not having to work to hard to get a CGI payoff, but correct me if I am wrong aren't we supposed to invest in Simon order to feel for the characters and their journey?
The story revolves around an intelligent but disaffected teen girl that stumbles onto a secret at the very heart of her broken community revolving around the supposed crash landing of a meteor in her town that somewhat reinvigorated a financially destitute country town.
What is the secret? Who is in on it? Who are all these new faces appearing in town and what's this about an extraterrestrial signal from space???
Take a few deep breaths, suspend any preconceptions and press play. I would say best watched solo or with close friend as it may not appeal to a broad range of people and it's no fun when one person isn't getting invested.
The Batman (2022)
Please just stop
Like a mash up of Batman movies, absolutely nothing new. Same drab sets, overly complicated narrative that leaves you annoyed not surprised.
Seriously do something different, stop making Batman films before you kill him for the current generation like you did in the 90's then the 00's.
Blah blah blah yawn..... could not watch past 1.5 hours had to turn it off and write this review before I deleted the whole thing from my mind.
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012)
Great Swashbuckling Adventure for the whole family.
Great family movie for perhaps 6 and up. No swearing but multilayered jokes make it fun for the whole family. About a pirate captain searching for his place in the pirate underworld during a ruthless crackdown by the British navy at the behest of the queen of England who absolutely despises pirates.
Foundation (2021)
Offensive Yawn-Fest of the highest order.
Like a slice of every major sci-fi space opera pizza. With recycled sauce (uncommitted to any central flavour), spread sparingly on a back of the freezer gluten free pizza base that clogs in your throat and refuses to go down because your body realises it's no longer actual food.
Picture a poor man's GOT political struggle against an evil overlord with eyes on total domination. Insert a few slow Kubrick-esq space shots and montages that apparently point to it being set in space but.....
Without these very sparse sci-fi segues you would be thinking it's set in a world where they only live inside and the ancient royal family spent so much money from the space coffers perfecting space travel that they forgot to invent adequately lighting. Solution just let light in from the windows backlighting everyone on set and just bang out heaps close ups to break up the arty silhouette mood shots... baaahh!
Dull, interior set scenes with dialogue so slow, obvious and contrived you will want to punch yourself in the groin for knowing what they are going to say next.
Perhaps they should have considered a different actor to play the evil space overlord than an actor who is most famous for playing an evil space overlord...
If you love Sci-fi like me and you wait and wait for something special, we'll keep waiting.
With as much spirit of Karen as I can muster this show offended my sensibilities. Who thought this would work? Probably formulaic execs who assumed this clone would float.
It floats alright, to the top of the bowl... just sitting there stinking.
The series runs for what 10 hours or something? You could paint the house, build a Lego monstrosity, take your kid to the beach, do 10 hours of yoga and totally unlock your body or pretty much do anything in the real world. Even farting would be more valuable than wasting your time watching this unmitigated bollox for even a second.
Avanpost (2019)
Cool and weird
Total mashup of a movie. Horror, sci fi, zombie, alien invasion.
Not great overdub in English from Russian but there's enough going on to distract you like a body count that is ridiculous.
Typical end of the world/alien invasion but with twists you won't expect.
Strange audio that makes explosions and gunfire quiet?
Still worth a watch but little intellectual stimulation.
Waltzing Jimeoin (2021)
Scenic but boring with the volume down, utterly nauseating with sound like an irritating drunk person...
Like a hasty camping trip with old friends you suddenly realise you don't like. They can't be serious for one second and to make the whole weekend ahead seem like a slow death they actually think they're funny. Everyone else in earshot thinks they are a pointless human and probably wish they would pack up and f@"k off.
After 2 minutes I wanted to punch myself in the groin. You're only a comedian if you're actually funny and an actual human rather than a self deprecating cartoon.
The Suicide Squad (2021)
Oh god just stop
I greatly disliked absolutely everything about this moral dumpster dive of a film. Just bad. It doesn't matter how much CGI you coat a turd with it's still just a stinking turd.
Keeping Mum (2005)
A satisfying and very British black comedy
If you don't always have to have fast cars and explosions on your screen and you can allow yourself to engage in something a little lighter about family dysfunction with a decidedly dark twist then I think you will enjoy this funny tale that goes more than a little awry.
Great cast who all do a superb job conveying the story. It's not a Rowan Atkinson vehicle rather a balanced ensemble cast who all shine in their roles.
Great and simple cinematography that aids the narrative and great direction that keeps the acting and scenes at a good pace without any flat spots or irrelevant scenes. Just good classic cinema, made me laugh and I'm still smiling.
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
Very well crafted and tense from go to whoa.
I really loved this instalment. It shows the events of the first day the creatures arrived then jumps forward and picks up exactly where the first one finished. It was well acted and the quietness in which the characters must navigate their reality brings a slow burn that has you on the edge of your seat.
There is an unpredictability to the story which truely adds to the experience and helps the viewer immerse themselves in this terrifying world in which every step could set off a chain reaction leading to attracting the creatures.
Such a great concept and delivered perfectly by Mr Krazinski in the directors seat. Nothing super tricky Camera wise just great angles that sufficiently tell the story and enhance the drama.
I highly recommend this and the original for monster movie lovers who are ready to be surprised by something totally original. It brings a satisfying balance of tension, scares and genuine exploration of the characters and all this with minimal dialogue and everyone terrified to make a sound.
Can't wait for the next one!
Occupation: Rainfall (2020)
Pretty cool for an Aussie Sci Fi but not perfect
I am stoked about the scale of production of an Aussie film and I figure a few near misses are necessary in the growth of homegrown Australian action and sci fi films.
The film picks up the story laid out in the first film but ventures much further into CGI on a grand scale and I feel mostly succeeds. However there are times when there is just too much happening and the story gets a little lost or overly complicated amongst the chaos.
The acting is sufficient but definitely has moments where dialogue is over acted or under acted in relation to the scene or just too long. The action is mostly well done but the pacing is clunky and unbelievable in parts.
If you enjoy dissecting a film there is plenty of fodder here for the keen eye (ie stunts that serve no purpose, weapons being fired with objects completely obstructing them).
Over all if you are a sci fi fan it is worth a watch and I must say I am interested to see if the third instalment ups the anti again. Just great to see Australian films getting made even if they have lofty goals there is nothing wrong with that. I would be interested to know the budget compared to big American sci fi films.
Not bad guys, not bad. Thanks for your effort.
Black Widow (2021)
I did not like this at all
Yawn fest at best. Gave up caring after Uber distressing child exploitation at start of film. Awful characters who you don't care for particularly the child trafficking parents....
Such a dark and depressing back story should never have been glorified or turned into a long, slow, depressing movie.
Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
Fun enough to watch
Totally English, totally insane. If you like the comedy pairing of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost and the crazy storyline's their films have then you will get a laugh out of this. Predictably predictable and never taking itself seriously at all, it is worth a watch just for the ridiculousness.
No Hollywood CGI here just good old fashioned low budget sfx to keep the story moving along to a satisfying if not predictable conclusion.
Note this is not written by Pegg or Frost they provide a comedy element to a well worn tale of teen private school love and angst blended with old school monster horror.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Put a seat belt on your couch and strap yourself in!
Hands down one of the best Sci-Fi films I have ever seen.
Well acted, well scripted, top notch nay incredible special fx, terrifying creatures, insane scenario, awesome pacing, great casting, appropriate balance of humour/horror/tears and twists. Oh and lots and lots and lots stuff blowing up.
There wasn't any flat spots where I lost interest or got confused or even felt like I could pause to go get a drink or go to the loo and when I did tear myself away I seemed to be in a rush to get back to it.
Reading some of the low score reviews I realise some had higher expectations, some found the tropes too cliche etc. Me I just enjoy a film for what it is and appreciate all the hard work that goes in to them for our entertainment. So I chose not too get too caught up in the feasibility of the science etc and just went with the multilayered narrative.
If you love Sci-Fi (leaning heavily into horror to justify the reality of the story) you simply must see this and I hope it's a TEN for you too!
Warning this is not a family/kids film. These creatures are genuinely scary and there is a lot of believable death and destruction. Perhaps teens, check your local rating. But definitely not for kids.
Just awesome ppl.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Oh dear
What just happened? So many ludicrous plot points, poor dialogue and general confusion. Gal gets 3 stars, everything else zero.
There is so many questions I would like to ask the writers but the only one I can bother with is why did Steve return in another mans body when everyone else got exactly what they wished for?
Weird, big budget weird
21 Bridges (2019)
Violent, fast paced action thriller.
Stoney faced NYPD career detective follows in his late fathers legacy and is cleared by internal affairs for ending yet another cop killer. It appears to be no coincidence he is called in to catch and dispatch a pair of cop killers who just slayed 6 of New York's finest in a bungled heist.
Knowing the criminal mind he knows they'll run so the only answer at 2am is to close Manhattan Island in hope of trapping the ruthless fleeing heavy hitters.
It appears he's the only one wanting answers as the rest of the NYPD start taking aim at anyone even partially involved with extreme prejudice.
Bouts of realistic violence in a relentless chase through a grimy city at night with crisp direction and editing that tells this dark tale with more Hollywood and less serpico but still broody and punchy. Clear angles and shots that allow you to focus on the characters and the action without getting overwhelmed by the pacing.
Chadwick Boseman (everybody's favourite warrior king) kills it as the highly motivated and street smart detective renowned for despatching dangerous criminals like a modern gunslinger when few others would have the moxy.
A good enough supporting cast to carry the story through to the final bullet.
Probably predictable to some but definitely worth the investment of your time and money.
Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (2004)
If you like watching people being abused in kitchens then you'll love this
The man is a pig and the fact he has made a career out of standing over people and screaming says a lot about the general level of intelligence of your average human.
Total unmitigated crap.
An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn (2018)
Intentionally B-Grade absurdity with minimalist but evident Hollywood
What just happened? Seriously weird film that attracts and repulses in equal parts. An eclectic ensemble cast of internationally diverse and individually successful comedy performers and Emile Hirsch, whom is not known for his comedy chops but an accomplished dramatic actor no less.
The story is so whimsical and the characters so ludicrous that it is entirely too difficult to describe and may be interpreted differently by each of you. That may sound like a cop out but seriously if you manage to sit through the entire film then feel free to tell me what in the name of all things celluloid you think It is really about.
To match the strange story the drab sets and eighties bad fashion roll together and slowly smoke up into something hard to watch and hard to look away from. I watched it on a quiet day when I wasn't craving a blockbuster and I would suggest you do the same.
It has almost a Napoleon Dynamite, independent tilt that doesn't take itself too seriously and I feel that the cast and crew may have spent half the production laughing at the absurdity and the other half laughing at the considerable talent in the room.
Predestination (2014)
Astonishing
Truely a movie you must see and take the time to absorb.
At times it plays like a drama but do not be dissuaded, invest in the film and you will be rewarded with a head f*#k of the highest order.
Even on the second and third watch you will be engrossed in the absolute bizzare feeling that this madness is somehow plausible.
Just an awesome piece of cinema. Keep In mind the fact it was written as a short story 'All You Zombies' last century no less. Originally penned by science fiction writer Robert S. Heinlein then developed for the big screen by the Spierig brothers and filmed in Australia in 2013
The Angry Birds Movie 2 (2019)
Worth a watch if you liked the first one
This was the most loose concept for a film I had ever seen until I saw ugly dolls.
It is purely mindless entertainment for kids and a few laughs to be had for the parents too. It has moments of laugh out loud followed closely by yawn out loud but ultimately it was worth the price of admission purely for the sight gags and the smile on my sons face.
Has a message of forgiveness and long lost love rekindled.
UglyDolls (2019)
As if the story elements were plucked from a hat
It appears that the well of ideas for animated movies is running dry. I went and saw this with my 6yr old son and I am happy that he was entertained but as much as I tried to see it from his naive perspective I couldn't help being shocked by it's bizzare but somehow familiar regurgitated cutesy nonsense with a fairly shallow message to justify my $20 spent. It has elements of Toy Story (the original) and innumerable big hit kids movies thrown together so haphazardly that at times it defied its own storyline in an attempt to surprise and entertain.