schofy's Reviews

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

4/10

5 May 2023

Im being generous with 4 stars. If thete was an option of 3.5 it would get that.

Starts well but then descends into a predictable, poorly scripted, formulaic horror film that has no identity. I was hoping for more of the last version but got a watered down version of that with occasional out of place moments from army of darkness. Sadly disappointed and bored.

The moment the evil dead kicked in properly was relief as the dialogue and acting was terrible.

It also manages to rip off a stack of far better films. I quite liked the remake and thought it was bold edgy and well done. This i found simply generic.

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Crawl (I) (2019)

3/10

Come on make it snappy

10 July 2022

Warning: Spoilers

I've given this 3 stars. One for the effects as they are slightly better than the syfy channel yet the rest isnt. One for unintentional laughs and one for the dog.

I mean I like to suspend disbelief but come on. At one point after having already been slung around like a rag doll by her leg (which I'm pretty sure would have either been torn of or at the most pulled out of its joint) the lead out swims 4 alligators.

Best line of the film. The indestructible father after everything, has his arm ripped off screams to his daughter "swim" I fell off the setee pissing myself laughing.

An hour 10 mins tops this should have been.

Avoid.

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Friendsgiving (2020)

3/10

This is supposed to be funny right?

4 August 2021

As painful to watch as enduring a family meal in itself. Like a local amateur theatre group produced a farce with a stellar cast. Some you wonder why they are even there at all. I'm being kind with three stars.

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Cold Pursuit (2019)

7/10

A bit of a gem

29 July 2021

I didnt know what to expect from this film as I went in blind. No trailers. No reviews. It starts bleak and then proceeds in a way so left field it threw me. A very dark dark funny thriller. Well worth a venture.

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Invincible (2021– )

8/10

Like the boys meets justice league

28 March 2021

Bloody brilliant, Binge watched all the episodes available once launched. Definitely not for kids and what a stellar vocal cast.

I've avoided reading up on its source material just so I dont spoil anything.

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Hubie Halloween (2020)

6/10

No surprises. You get what you expect.

25 October 2020

A sort of hit and miss film. But its moments when it hits are very funny. Not sure why Sadler reverts to playing borderline special needs people in some of these films to get a comedy part over. I dont think it was needed for this movie. Hes a far better actor.

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The Equalizer 2 (2018)

7/10

More than a equal to its predecessor

16 October 2020

After the first film of robert McCall taking on a job at B & Q and getting into fixing people's problems we find hes upgraded to working for himself as an uber driver. With such flexible hours he finds himself able to offer safe advice and guidance to a young neighbour and beating the daylights out of people that cross his path. This sequel joking aside provides much more insight into his character and thought it stepped up and excelled the first film Only downside was you knew who the villain was within the 1st 20 minutes.

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War, Inc. (2008)

7/10

Like grosse point blanks darker cousin

28 September 2020

I think this film got a bad press. John Cusack is well on form here as hauser. A hitman struggling with his inner demons effected by his past. Mix this in with a satirical look at how america provides redemption to war torn area with Marisa tomei and hilary duff providing excellent support. Lest not forgetting cossacks sisters Joan mad as a bag of spanners co worker and a nice cameo from dan ackroyd. Oh and flashbacks of ben Kingsley thrown in. Enjoyed very much so.

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Enola Holmes (2020)

8/10

Quaint

24 September 2020

A nice film that plays merrily along. Millie brown is quite charming and the rest of the cast are all spot on. Henry cavill does very good earnest and sam Caflin is terrific and dark as the older holmes. This is a film you could sit down with a family and watch. It's not paddington but I think netflix have aimed and got close.

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Brews Brothers (2020)

7/10

Like beer itself it takes a while to fermentate

26 April 2020

I've seen the negative reviews which are fair enough. This series is a bit like the beer they make, you need a few down before you get the taste. I found once it got past the 1st couple of early episodes it past the time fairly well. Some jokes are hit and miss but overall by the end I found myself hoping they will get a second crack and carry straight on with another series.

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Coffee & Kareem (2020)

4/10

No no no

9 April 2020

Everything about this film that could have been good about this filmed is ruined by having a young kid swear like a trooper and the lead to have no idea what his character is. I can only hope this is a sign on for better Netflix movies.

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Hustlers (2019)

5/10

2 hours I will never get back

5 April 2020

As this film had been praised by critics and there had been a general consensus of opinion j-lo had been robbed of an oscar I thought I'd give this a shot when it came up on amazon prime. I found this film difficult to watch. Not that I found the subject matter disturbing, I was struggling to stay interested in the slow meandering pedestrian pace it played to. The only thing I found myself rooting for was the end. Any thoughts I had of the performances I found myself thinking "you know, I'm not being funny but this is almost one step from showgirls level acting" I'm afraid this wont be getting a second viewing ever. If Jenny's from the block well she should have taken this film round the corner of it and left it there.

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Only God Forgives (2013)

3/10

Be warned you will never get the 90 wasted minutes of your life back

12 October 2016

I have seen a lot of this directors work and when it comes to visuals he is hands down and as much as a lot of people didn't like drive I found it quite compelling. This on the other hand is so pretentious it's untrue....there are scenes when I thought the DVD had stuck.. Gosling just staring into nowhere....a lot. Might be only 90 minutes long, It felt like longer. Dreary, Odd and a lot of zero dialogue which I don't mind if it works but here I don't think it does. It gets 3 for the use of some interesting camera work and about half of kristin scott thomas performance. You want an interesting movie, Watch Bronson instead.

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Shark Night (2011)

1 hour and a half I will never get back

19 September 2011

What a lame film, This makes Jaws 4 look good. Scream in a river setting. The 3D was about the only thing good about this and for a film with the word Shark in the title I'm amazed how little of them appear in this movie. There are so many loose strings to this movie were supposed to not notice because the screen is full of over acting toned up hotties and the usual deliverenace style locals. In fact the dog is the only one that comes out of this movie and please don't get me started on the most arial acrobatic sharks since deep blue sea. You can see that they have tried to go down the hostel with a fish line but I'm afraid it fails and merely comes out a proper kipper.

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A Guy Thing (2003)

7/10

It Could happen to anyone

12 April 2011

The tale of your average joe having to endure the worst week of his life leading up to his wedding. Sleeping with someone on his stag do, Crabs, Cousins, Moonlighting cooks using dope as a spice, A stalker jealous cop, a brother who fancies the bride to be...Jason lee is superb as he crashes from one disaster to the next. I really enjoyed this movie and I might add as much as some IMDb have slagged off Sophia Myles I thought she was quite good. The complete opposite to the girl jason lee's character is going to marry might be one of those I know whats coming movies but it does enough with the humour and events to differ from the others enough. After a pants day at work with a curry and a bottle of wine it was bang on :)

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Frauds (1993)

8/10

Frauds....A winner to me

13 March 2011

I realise the first thing people who look at this movie will think 2 things. Australia and Phil Collins grumble, grumble, grumble...Well I watched this film in as best an objective observer as I could be. I like Phil Collins as a musician, I say like, I mean I really like, but however if I thought he was awful I would say so. Sure this film was not going to win an Oscar, But it's clever, Quirky and the humour is darkly rich. The 3 leads are excellent, All border line madness as their worlds collapse around them at various moments. I really enjoyed this film and also goes to show that not only do you not have to spent mega bucks on a good wacky thriller but keep your eyes peeled, The uk and USA don't have the rights anymore on making appealing movies. Rent it, Buy it, Watch it, It will make a good Saturday night :)

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Angel Eyes (2001)

5/10

dreary

19 October 2006

I may be in the minority here, but I found this movie no better than your basic TV movie of the week. Jennifer Lopez seems to be under the impression that to come across as a hard cop with personal problems, the answer is to swear a lot. Jim Caviezel seems to wander through 2 thirds of the film like a cross between forest gump and rain man. If you want a weary romantic thriller without the thrills then this is the film for you. It ticks all the required boxes for a movie of the week....troubled cop..check,romantic loner...check,family that wont talk to cop...check,plenty of pouting...check and an end that will make one member of your house reach for the tissue box and the other the sick bucket.....as you can guess wife loved it.

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Amanda & the Alien (1995 TV Movie)

1/10

bad, bad

24 May 2006

Warning: Spoilers

The one thing that occurred to me after watching this drivel, was i would never get the time I used to watch this, back again. If you want to see Stacey keach and Michael dorn try and earn what must have been then, the down payments on a holiday home then stay tuned. Wooden acting, poor special effects, the only comedic highlight was whilst our alien hero was in female form and this is over as soon as she has done her obligatory b-movie nude sex scene within 30 mins into the movie. The opportunity to have made what could have been a decent movie disappears the moment Nicole Eggbert clocks the alien in a bar within 30 seconds, whilst the Police, Military and Joe public don't cotton on that the woman drinking coffee, dosn't use the cup handle and wears four jumpers at once. She must obviously be from another planet. Just where I wish I was when this movie was on.

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schofy

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