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Reviews
The Whale (2022)
Poignant, truthful, and hard to watch, just as it should be
Fraser has turned into a brilliant actor since his "George of the Jungle" days, and this film is no exception. He portrays the ailing, food-addicted main character with sadness and truthfullness. There are no predictable moments in the story, which I found refreshing. Now... The best aspect of this film is the thing that seems to be a hot-button issue with some viewers and professional reviewers alike. Namely, that this film somehow "exploits" obese people, that it is portraying a sympathetic character, but underneath is just using it as a "train wreck" to get people to watch. I find that viewpoint ridiculous. Fraser wears an enormous "fat suit", and there are many scenes that show how the basics of everyday life are affected by being so obese - from his clothing to his struggles to sit or stand to the grotesque amounts of food he eats, and above all, to the way he uses the internet and delivery services to avoid having human contact with people because he is fearful of how they will see and treat him. None of this is gratuitous or included for "no reason". How about we admit that being this fat is painful and tragic, and we allow a filmmaker to show that in all its brutal honesty? It's a great film.
Saltburn (2023)
Gross, shock-value nonsense that put me to sleep
An awful lot of sweeping elaborate cinematography and elaborate scenery. The actual scenes consist of minimal dialog that is disconnected from scene to scene, with a plot that is only tenuous at best. It's more like a patchwork of improvs none of which is really very dramatic, nor funny, nor emotional. The few gross sex or murder scenes feel like they are tossed in because without them, nothing happens in this movie at all. This could quite possibly be the worst film I have ever wasted time watching. Even 1953's "Robot Monster" was more of a film than this thing. At least that had an actual story.
Old Dads (2023)
Funny because it's so true - runs out of gas near the end
The funniest humour is humour that tells it like it is. Jack's confrontations with his kids' school staff and other parents, and their outragous militant "faux sensitive" attacks, are painful to watch because we live with them in real life. Every one of them has a ridiculous shield of political correctness up around them, and they use it as a weapon, thus completely undermining how "sensitive" they claim to be. Jack calls them out on it, saying at one point, "All you care about is not getting in trouble". The obnoxious 20-something who takes over their company is exactly the tiresome, lazy arrogant twit we all dread as a new boss - has never gotten his hands dirty, never worked a day in his life, has been taught by his mommy that he's "special" so he can treat people like dirt. Unfortunately, about 2/3 of the way through, Jack's "epiphany" ruins the whole thing. His wife shuts him out because he has "anger" problems. No he doesn't. He doesn't hit people, wreck property, throw people out of their jobs, sit on his behind while others do all the work, or torture his schoolmates or coworkers with holier-than-though attitude. He calls people names somertimes, and he yells sometimes. That's about it. Otherwise, he's the most honest, hard-working, fair person in the whole story. It's sad that the movie goes south by having him "change" to become a gutted namby pamby shell of his real self. That is a HORRIBLE thing, but it is presented in the film as though he has reached some successful peak.
The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
Ultra stereotyped mechanical awfulness
The gray/black starkness, the bad guys in black cars, the Russian mob, the sparse 3-word-at-a-time emotionless dialogue. I kept expecting to see Mike Meyers appear and say, "Welcome to Sprockets. I am Dieter, your host" Every character, from the lead's father, to the mobsters, to the lead herself, are cardboard cutouts with no emotion. The lead character is on a crusade to avenge innocent wronged people. We expect she does this because her father abused her and her sister when they were girls. Her hair is cut like a boy, her clothes are boyish, she lives in a stark steel and glass industrial warehouse looking apartment (of course!). Even when she eats or drinks, she picks up a fork or puts down a cup with machine-like ambivalence - every motion, every spoken word, every gesture contrived to say, "I feel nothing". It would be comedy if it weren't so over-the-top. She is a lesbian, but not just ANY lesbian. She and her girlfriend have a mechanized emotionless relationship, even when they talk to each other. In one scene, she tells her partner to leave because she has the work. Her partner says, "If you have another girl coming over, you can tell me"... OF COURSE. The whole thing is utterly laughable and stupid, because every character is plastic, two-dimensional, and seemingly lifted from a high school version of "James Bond".
I only made it about halfway through. The acting and dialog are so terrible that no plot or other aspects of the film can save it.
The 100 (2014)
Couldn't sustain a good story - too many seasons
Season one underwhelmed me with the acting quality and script writing. (If they say, "You got this" one more time... )
But the story LINE was so full of interesting twists that didn't come off as utterly ridiculous (given that it's a scifi story, after all), that it kept us interested. By season 2, the kiddie actors got their legs under them and the show quality hit its peak. By season 3, I was getting a whiff that they were reaching around for ideas to be able to keep making shows. By season 5, crash and burn. The plot lines became ever-more confusing and disconnected, designed to leave lots of untied loose ends for the obvious purpose of creating escape hatches the could write into the plot later in order to keep producing more shows. Instead of inspiring curiosity to see "what will happen next", it inspires irritation and confusion. It became more and more like watching a soap opera, where as little as possible happens in each episode to stretch things out.
The Son (2022)
Implausible behaviors from son, doctors, and school
During the time the "son" is being treated by a professional analyst, he never sees any red flags that this kid could be suicidal? When the kid doesn't show up for school for a whole month, at two different schools, the schools do nothing but send some emails to find out what's happened to him?
Jackman, as the self-absorbed high-profile lawyer who has never really bonded with his son since he became a young teen, is quite good in his role. But even here, the screenplay lets him down. In a critical scene when he and his son are dancing to "It's Not Unusual" with dad's new wife and laughing it up, dad and wife somehow do not notice when junior quits dancing, mentally checks out, and stands aloof off to the side? Nobody, no matter how "self absorbed" they are, would not notice this and at least say something.
The whole sad story culminates in the predictable tragic ending, and relies on too many unrealistic failures to get there.
A Man Called Otto (2022)
Read the book, loved this film
After reading a good book, I find that it is often hard for a film version to live up to it, owing to the necessities of limited run time and cost. This film, however, will not disappoint. The story line sticks truthfully to the book, only varying a few minor details to "Americanize" it. For example, Otto recounts his feuding with best-friend-turned-nemesis Reuben over whether Ford or Chevy makes a better car, where as in the original, it was Saab vs Volvo. But the storyline and main events are all lovingly preserved. The character development of Otto by Hanks is brilliant. Despite his cantankerous, sour, and sometimes downright insulting and unfriendly demeanor, the sincere people with a heart (especially children) all fall in love with him because they see who he is. And Hanks makes us, the viewers, see him that way too. Otto Anderson
Mariana Treviño (Marisol) absolutely lights up the screen as his new neighbor. She plays a sincere, loving, yet brave woman who is never afraid to tell the truth or let he feelings show. And as such, it is completely believable that Hanks (Otto) would truly like and admire her, despite himself. The scene where he is teaching her to drive, then defends her against an angry impatient driver behind them, and then explains to her how strong and talented she is, so therefore, "she can surely learn to drive a car", may well be the most beautiful moment in the film.
There are several cultural messages snuck into the story. It's hard to know who was behind them. But they are played well. In a scene where a man falls onto the tracks while a train is fast approaching finds everyone on the platform taking out cellphones to get video and selfies of the event, instead of trying to save the man while the train bears down on him. Sadly, this happens in real life, and Otto represents the people we should all be, instead of the cellphone flapping onlookers. In moments like that, the story teller makes their point that Otto isn't just stubborn or old fashioned. He is human and he is angry that everyone around him is becoming less so.
All in all, this was top notch acting and story telling, the things we expect from movies with Tom Hanks in them. I'd see it again. It was that good.
Red Dawn (1984)
Good premise and story, awful acting
We have to allow that this is a loosely fact-based work of fantasy, so don't get too hung up saying "The Russians would never do this". Could a limited number of teenagers actually organize and fight back against a military invasion of their country? Most wouldn't. But yes, I am sure some are mature and tough enough to do it. And the movie does make it clear that his group of fighters is unusual. They don't paint a ridiculous picture of a "movement" spreading across the country of teenagers fighting back and "routing the bad guys". And after some early victories, the kids make some really bad mistakes and get people killed, which also makes it more credible.
The story contains good dramatic moments, and heros sometimes die, which makes the story engaging. But the acting. Oh boy. 1980s worst-of-the-worst "Breakfast Club", "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" level. Makes it hard to sit through this.
Bye Bye Birdie (1963)
Terrible songs, terrible acting kill what could have been a cute idea
For the life of me, I cannot understand why this musical was so popular, both as a film and a stage play. The whole thing is a tongue-in-cheek parody of the squealing teenage girl idolization of a rock n roll singer (who is obviously modeled after Elvis Presley. It could have been funny and really entertaining, but...
1. The songs are positively terrible.
There are a few "broadway" style songs like Telephone Hour that sound like typical Broadway show tunes. But the attempts to do songs for Conrad are pathetic. "One Last Kiss"? If that came on the radio, teens far and wide, even in 1963, would have turned it off in 30 seconds. The songwriting just ain't there. "Honestly Sincere"? Wow. Even the title of the song is terrible. The songs sound like they were written by the high schoolers in the movie.
2. The acting is painful to sit through
Jesse Pearson's thick, clumsy delivery doesn't help one bit. He doesn't come off wry, tongue-in-cheek, super-cool guy (like Elvis) who girls would flock to. He comes off as an idiot, as do most of the parents - portrayed as dull-witted, out-of-touch, overly-strict dimwits. Sure, there's some comedy in that, but it's not comedy with legs. You can do a few minutes of spectacular "Grownups are dumb" jokes, but not 90 minutes.
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I give Ann-Margret high marks for giving her all. She sings and dances with all the energy, sex appeal, and charm anyone could muster, but even she can't save this.
Faraway Eyes (2020)
"Made For TV" quality
I can accept that it's a fantasy story about what happens to you when you die, and even the underlying completely made-up premise that souls can only pass on to the "afterlife" in pairs. But there are two fundamental failings.
One, the absurd, forced inconsistencies. A stalker, who keeps coming around tormenting a woman WOULD be reported to the police, even if they cannot yet arrest him. Each unwanted visitation would trigger another police report, eventually a no-stalking order, and an arrest. And people wandering through the an interim state after death seeking their soulmate wouldn't just be telling each other to buzz off. People seek company and something to do, even with people who aren't their "soulmates".
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And two: Can we all just give up and admit that Christina Ricci is a lousy actress? She dead-panned her way to stardom with films like The Addams Family and Sleepy Hollow, but she only gets away with it because she can be dull, dark, and unemotional. Unfortunately, she is no different when she NEEDS to have some sort of personality, which makes her portrayal as some sort of inter-life guide in this film a plastic flop.
Yesterday (2019)
Swing and a miss - unfortunately - could have been so much better
The premise was brilliant, and delightfully funny to me. A songwriter wakes up and discovers that nobody in the world has heard of The Beatles except him. "Imagine the comedy", I thought, as he tries to figure out how this happened, as he plays all these brilliant songs and cannot convince anyone that he did not write them. Imagine what happens as he gets carried away by his success, passing the work off as his own...
And then? ... and then? Does he get found out? Do the real Beatles appear to rat him out?
That, I told myself, I would leave to the filmmakers, to come up with some satisfying explanations and conclusion. But they never did.
Not only that, we have the appearance of a few other people who mysteriously remember the Beatles, with no explanation as to why they, of all people, do. We have a band like Oasis, disappear from existence, HILARIOUSLY, because they so notoriously copied the Beatles. But then, with no sense at all, things like Coke, cigarettes, and Harry Potter also disappear. And then he confesses that he stole the songs, but there is no follow-on, no logical conclusion. What happens now? Does he get to play them?
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Aside from a some brilliant shining moments where he is humorously struggling to remember the song lyrics, because of course, there is nowhere he can look them up, or his dramatic, very beautiful and poignant meeting with an old John Lennon who did not die (because, of course, he was never a Beatle), the film just doesn't explore and explain all the dramatic and comedic twists and turns it could have, and instead, it just ends up being a light hearted romantic comedy. It could have been SO MUCH MORE.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Just plain stupid, badly acted, and badly sung
Saw the "real deal" stage version in Greenwich Village when I was 17... thought the plot just dragged and dragged, the singing was terrible and the songs were mediocre at best. The audience participation... meh. It's their thing. Cool. But that couldn't save the show. Watched the movie version, and had friends who had the soundtrack album lying around so I was subjected to that a number of times.
Every aspect of this movie is badly acted, badly sung, badly performed and goes on too LONG. Honestly, the "great" songs like Time Warp are not good songs at all. They are over-hyped Broadway "show tunes", only not that good. The backing band for all the songs sounds like a high school level garage band.
The "freak" was never very freaky. The sex was never very sexy. The plot was just tedious and dumb.
I think this turkey made it big because a cult following became enamored with it, and it became uncool not to like it. It's managed to ride that train for 50 years, but it's still a real piece of crap.
Big Little Lies (2017)
Well acted and produced, but can't stand it
A conflicted title, to be sure. After watching a whole season of this, I find I simply cannot stand a show about self-absorbed, rotten, selfish, dishonest people. The portrayal of the characters is excellent, and the suspense-building of jumping back and forth in time to fill in pieces of the story is very effective. I can't fault a single one of the actors. Their work is excellent.
But the actual characters themselves and the story lines??? Please. We are supposed to somhow connect or empathize with these people? Every one of them floats through the day without doing a lick of work while complaining about how difficult and complicated their lives are. They are all such caricatures of typical spoiled rich people that it becomes hard to stomach. The helicopter moms, the nasty rich guy who beats up his wife, the snotty precocious children who talk back to their parents like they are drinking in a pool hall, the "beta male/sensitive guy who cooks, cleans, parents and gets trodden on by his wife".
And it's impossible to experience any angst for the problems that befall these people, because every one of them is the sort of person you wish would just get run over by a car or take a bath with an electric toaster.
The clear exception is Ziggy's mom, and viewers will continually wonder how she can stand being around this circle of nasty, back-biting, shallow jerks as her "friends".
Finally, the way so many character swoon about how beautiful Nicole Kidman is in her role is gag-worthy. They should have picked somebody who is naturally beautiful if they wanted to make an issue of her looks. Kidman does a great job acting her role. They should just lose the whole "most beautiful woman in town" shtick.
I gave it 6 stars because the acting, sets, and the "product" of the show is actually quite good. But the story itself and the characters are just... blech.
Dumbo (2019)
Lifeless, phony, plastic junk
Wow, how far we have fallen. The original was touching and poignant. It had offbeat, slightly edgy characters like a mouse who has too much to drink and a quartet of crows (singing "When I See an Elephant Fly"). Masterpieces of song and illusion. Remember the hallucinagenic "Pink Elephants on Parade"? It had scenes like the one where Dumbo visits his mother in prison and has to unwrap trunks from her and go back to his cage, that make even the hardest-nosed movie goer weep.
With this new version, ugh.
Okay, the practical. The actors, every single one of them except DeVito, are clumsy, plastic, and about as good as a high school musical.
The plot? Suddenly we have to have an "evil" guy, ranting, flailing diabolically at a futuristic electronic control panel? What the heck is this doing in the story of Dumbo?
Oh, and Arcade Fire's recording of "Baby Mine" is simply awful. They took such a gentle touching message between mother and daughter and turned it into a prom night 1950s greaser anthem.
Not worth even the time it took me to write this.
Village of the Damned (1995)
Abysmal clumsy acting and camera work
Admittedly, I am a big fan of the original 1960 version of this film. But I am not averse to a remake if it at least does a good job with basic film making. This film does not.
To wit.
1. The characters
An array of ridiculous stereotyped characters like the "pious innocent-faced young priest", the stumbling drunk school maintenance man who sneaks nips from a bottle in a paper bag, the chirpy school teachers, the "Cruella DeVille" style know-it-all in-your-face "angry female doctor who knows better" (Kirstie Alley). Nearly every character in this thing is written as an over-the-top caricature of a real person.
2. Acting
Ugh. Even the leads (Alley and Christopher Reeve) turn in unbearable overdone performances.
3. Camerawork
I am not sure how to describe this, but many scenes are shot with clumsy close-ups from distracting angles or viewpoints - often below "level" looking just slightly up at the actors. It was bad enough that I started being distracted by it.
The whole thing really comes off as more a high school film project than you would expect from the likes of John Carpenter. Christopher Reeve and Kirstie Alley are not notoriously "brilliant" actors. I mean, Reeve made it big playing an on-screen cartoon character (superman) after all, and Alley is the perennially bossy/frustrated "Rebecca Howe" from Cheers. But I would have expected at least passable performances.
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The story line is largely the same as the 1960 version, albeit with additional gore and explicit display of things that are only hinted at in the earlier film, and a side plot involving the evil intervention of "the government". That adds more tension and psychological disturbance to the viewer, which is not a bad thing. But it does nothing for the story.
Runaway! (1973)
Fun for killing 73 min, but one too many flaws
I don't mind the technical errors that would make the train this type of runaway impossible. I don't think people should get too hung up about that. A runaway train is always an emotional, drama-building subject for a film so I'm fine with it if they stretch reality.
But after coming down the mountain, the last stretch of the train's out-of-control journey is 20 minutes of careening down level track. Nothing just "keeps going" on level ground. It would have to lose a lot of speed, even if absolutely nothing were done to try to stop it. They should have at least made some attempt to explain this.
With few exceptions, the cast is dominated by pretty low-skilled B-grade actors and the over-acting and over-emoting get hard to take after a while. The engineer rides through the whole film like a kindly old grandpa sipping lemonade on the porch, while 200 people behind him in his train are about to die, which is just plain ridiculous.
It's only a little over an hour, and if you don't mind mixing a few laughs at the silliness of it with the fun of a train and some "railroady" scenery, you'll have fun watching this.
But don't expect much drama or character development. It's not there.
Murder in the First: Tropic of Cancer (2016)
Weak episode - avalanche of ridiculous coincidences
THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!
I am a big fan of this series, but this episode really dropped the ball.
In the previous episode, we are introduced to the tragedy of Hildy being diagnosed with cancer and preparing to probably die, while agonizing over what will happen to her daughter. In this episode, she is greeted with the news that her test results were accidentally switched with someone else's, and now that the correct results have reached her doctor, it turns out she doesn't have cancer at all.
Seriously? They nix the whole cancer plot with a "mix-up at the lab"? What's next? Have her wake up and we learn that her break-up with her husband years ago was all a dream?
We also have two separate incidents in this same episode involving mistaken gun crimes. A store clerk shoots a guy trying to rob him at the counter because the guy shows a gun. Because the thief never actually pulled OUT the gun or pointed it at the clerk, the police are questioning the clerk's shooting. Later in the same episode, Terry pursues a suspect out of an apartment and shoots him dead becuase he thinks he is going for a gun in his waistband, but he turns out later to not have any gun at all.
So we have the police questioning a private citizen's use of a gun, and then we have a cop himself being questioned for the same reason. Could the comparison and "social issue" connection be any more painfully obvious?
I've come to expect better from this series in terms of unexpected plot twists and multiple parallel plot threads that cleverly intertwine. This installment was just amateurish and sloppy by comparison.