Change Your Image
misteradi
Reviews
If Anything Happens I Love You (2020)
Extremely emotional must-watch
First off, plotwise, the story is about parents dealing with the loss of their daughter to a school shooting.
Now, I'm generally really not an emotional or even just an overly emphatic guy. Plus, I live in Germany, not the USA, so school shootings are exceedingly rare here and the situation is not all that relatable. I also don't have kids, either, though I do have a younger brother.
However, all that being said, I have watched this short film multiple times, and I have never gotten through without crying *hard*; on subsequent watches after the first not even far past the beginning.
Another review said something along the lines of "it gets harder if you rewatch it", and I wholeheartedly agree; although it still hit me like a truck the first time I watched it back in 2020 or so.
Now, if you don't count the opening and the end credits, it's barely 10 minutes, yet despite the short runtime (or perhaps because of it), it is a real masterpiece in my opinion. The storytelling, the music, and the animation all come together to convey the feelings of grief and sadness (or at least a shallow approximation of them) that we are left with after the passing of a loved one, especially untimely ones at that.
I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel like to go through something like this in reality, as opposed to just watching a 10-minute short film.
I can only recommend watching this to anyone, regardless of political affiliation or stance on gun laws. Regardless of your opinion on certain topics, we are all just humans, and (nearly) all of us feel the same range of feelings. If you can watch this without becoming at least somewhat emotional, you must be truly made of stone (and I don't mean that in a good way).
Yakitori: Soldiers of Misfortune (2023)
Good animation, but terrible, terrible dialogue
The series is pretty well animated, but unfortunately, all its visual beauty is stained by the absolutely, horrendously terrible dialogue, on top of making it really hard to actually like the protagonists.
SPOILERS FROM HERE ON!
You have been warned.
I cringed every time the characters had a conversation (if you can call it that, because even the fake scenarios I imagine while daydreaming or taking a shower are closer to real dialogue).
On top of the stupidity of the dialogue, the characters actions are not very clever either. Apparently, the protagonists only came up with the idea to nuke an enemy artillery base from orbit, when they were physically in the base? And subsequently, they are tried at a military tribunal because their bombardment hit civilians indiscriminately, but not whoever further up the chain actually authorized and executed the orbital strike?
Overall, the characters are not very likable either, and not just because "nuking civilians is not ok" is apparently something that they need to be taught. Their characters are very basic and lack any significant depth. On top of that, some of them are extremely unlikable, and behave like a complete a-hole until they suddenly change their behavior 180°? It makes no sense.
Besides, the enemies they're fighting (which are humanoid rats) are not really portrayed as living beings with any intrinsic worth, but it instead feels like I'm playing a zombie horde shooter (or more accurately, it reminds me of Warhammer: Vermintide 2, for whoever has played that game).
And that's all simultaneous to the rats fighting for their freedom because the Trade Federation basically has them under the threat of enslavement, much like humans in this world. Apparently, however, they are the bad guys, not the Trade Federation. In the last episode, the show tries to portray the protagonists as "just infantry" without any concept of good and bad, but that just feels like a weak excuse meant only to sweep aside the ethic dilemma, in order to make the story work.
TL;DR:
In summary, aside from the visual quality, it feels like the story was written by a very young teenager, and not one with talent for screenwriting.
Torden (2020)
Very athmospheric, but a rather unoriginal story
Note that this entire review will spoil the movie, although it's rather predicable anyway, so perhaps that's not a big deal.
The movie is about an American who gained powers while staying at the farm of his Norwegian relatives, killing them because he couldn't control them. This isn't shown, only explained over the course of the movie (= you don't start out with that knowledge)
Some time later (I think 5 years, but I'm not sure) he's living off the land, just at the beginning of the movie. He's approached by some teenagers looking to make fun of him, but his uncontrolled powers kill one of the teenagers. Subsequently, he gets caught and locked up by the police, all the while dealing with some shadowy US government lady. While in the police station, he first connects with a psychologist (I think) who helps him control his powers.
He ends up on the run, but continues to struggle with the police, while learning to use his powers, which seem to be mainly (though not exclusively) weather and lightning related. Ultimately, they (he, the woman and the police) decide to get him to the farm where he got his powers, where they discover a burial chamber revealing him to be a descendant or reincarnation (not made entirely clear) of Thor. The woman then mistakenly gets shot instead of him by the soldiers of the dumb cliché US military woman worried about religious tensions from Christians, Muslims etc. Finding out their belief is not correct.
He, of course, then goes berserk, stops another bullet fired at him mid-air, and then kills a whole bunch of gawkers with super-charged lightning, which is more or less where the movie ends.
Tl;dr: modern-day male discovers Thor-ish powers, his one true love or something that he knew for no more than 1-2 days dies, so he goes mental.
The execution of the story is very good, everything is pretty atmospheric, mostly well acted, and an overall more adequate representation of mythologic Thor compared to what Marvel has shown in the MCU.
That being said, the story is extremely predictable, especially if you're somewhat familiar with Norse mythology. And even if you're not, it's so slow paced that you have ample time to figure out what's going to happen next. I also think that, while not outright comical, the characters are very cliché (Thor falling in love with a woman he just met; or the US militiary representative) and one-dimensional. Or they make no sense, like the police chief who claims to be a religious Christian, then is suddenly an expert on Norse mythology from reading some book on it (mind you, everything mentioned is super basic Norse mythology like Thor, Yggdrasil (name is never mentioned), etc.), and doesn't seem to have any religious qualms.
To summarize: if you're looking for an atmospheric re-imagining of basic Norse Thor mythology, this is for you. If you know anything about the mythology, you'll probably be pretty bored by the story, but the atmosphere is still enjoyable. For me personally, it's an ok movie, but I'll probably not watch it again.
Thunder Force (2021)
Pretty bad, except for Melissa McCarthy
As mentioned in the title, I can't find anything watchworthy about this movie except for Melissa McCarthy, and even she is only mediocre here.
It's predicable, unfunny and cringy. Some scenes would be funny as a zero-budget YouTube sketch, while others are just plain stupid and annoying.
Watch it if you really like McCarthy, superheroes, and have some time to waste. Otherwise, go watch something else. It's not like there's a shortage of superhero movies or series, and every Marvel movie (even if you're not a Marvel fan) does comedy better than this.
Ice Age: Collision Course (2016)
The cringe is real. Why do they abuse the series like this?
The cringe is real. Why do they abuse the series like this?
Max Steel (2016)
Story and dialogue are really bad, graphics are fine
The story is boring and cliché, with your usual annoying protagonist making the dumbest choice in any situation. At least in the beginning, there is no "golden thread" whatsoever (though that gets a little better later); the storytelling is often extremely jumpy, while otherwise being 100% predictable.
The dialogues are often extremely staged, nobody would ever talk like that - animes with their mile-long attack announcements are more realistic.
Graphics and CGI are pretty good, I'll grant the movie that.
Sadly, you can't save the boring, weird story by wrapping it in decent graphics. I'd have stopped halfway through the movie if not for my OCD tendencies.