Reviews

So the action is cinematically pleasing to the eye. They ensembled a great cast of characters, and yes even the ones you will hate. For me it's where it ends... This story is disturbing, abusive, uncomfortable. None of the people who deserve to die get their comeuppance. (Justice) Two hours of little girls getting abused by a sanitorium, but they can fight back in their minds... Such a frustrating film. Final conclusion the girls are attractive the story is sadly not.

So over all it's a winner for me, full of beautiful artistry, music, animatronics and good little actors. That's the good, but the actual story, or plot is so very convoluted. Too many ideas, it felt like 30 different people on an acid trip sat around a room and decided where the story should go next. I get it that the story is about you, and you two are supposed to share each other adventures. This movie should have had a better ending, involved the princess (never said how she got better from the sickness, or where the rest of the servants were.?) Atreyu this great warrior never fights, Bastian is still not brave. (should have had him stand up to the bullies himself not ride by on the silly luckdragon.) The quest was vague. The action was missing. I'm glad the Never Ending Story ended.

If you love the original 1980's Indiana Jones movies, you need not even see this one. I won't give ... Okay I will... Swinging with the monkeys? ... ALIENS? This is just silly. The action, dialogue, accents, CGI, the story and clues. It was missing everything that made the originals so good. I give it a one because I liked the wardrobe. It's "Indiana Jones and the Family reunion" sososo bad!

I thought I was going to be in for a real treat, but sadly It was so bad! Cinematography sure it looks cool (looks as if it's all filmed in one shot) but It could have been a better movie with cuts. The plot is absurd. That the only way to save all these men, is that two men go on ahead to said group and hand their leader a piece of paper?... They carry all these supplies hardly none that can help them (bayonets & shovels) never stopping to actually read the map, or a compass. No military dialogue. They point their gun barrels at each other whilst traveling. Not shocked over the dead bodies everywhere (rats crawling out of) but actually stop the take Jesus' name in vain when they see cherry trees chopped down. Not looking to see who squeezed the milk out of a random cow, but hap hazard fills the canteen (that later comes into play to feed a random baby) Where is the girl getting kerosene for her lamps, by the way? Single chopped down trees that block the road way, when a child could just drive around them... Or swimming through dozens of dead bodies when you could have swam another few feet and avoided all of that mess. A random guy singing in the woods whilst a whole platoon is entranced by his angelic voice... The "F" word through out this movie does not fit at all, and Christ name would have been said out loud in those times, but more because of prayer that they might be going to meet their maker. The more I think about it the more I disliked it. This was a complete mess, filled with inaccuracies. How in the heck is this movie rated so high?

It started with an adventure, the plot turned into a quest... then is railroaded by "Nobody cares about Africa" unlined story with weird story lines, about waste disposal, self destruct boat and building (James Bond type). Random cave paintings. A helicopter that chases them all over the desert passing them hundreds of times in pursuit...(it's a helicopter. Meaning it can hover, and not have to do fly byes.) The doctor played by Penelope acts in no way like a doctor would with an outbreak epidemic possibility in the works. But she does shoot AK-47 full auto. Throw dynamite from a moving car, driving through a bumpy desert with no roads. Far fetched I can live with, but why would a millionaire African warlord have to be the one in the co-pilot seat flying all over the Sahara to chase down these good guys? "we can't fight them they have tanks"... In less the bad guys climb out of their dozen tanks for no apparent reason. Ask yourself this one simply question movie goers.. If the wells and rivers are poisoned with this deadly highly infectious water. Then what in the world are the good guys drinking this whole time whilst traversing the SAHARA? Try walking down just a Florida beach for 10 minutes with out water in the heat... This movie was silly.

First off if you want to see Elizabeth Hurley looking beautiful, and strutting around in a ridiculous but sexy outfit most of the movie, you are in for a treat. If you think this is a comedy, or romance, or even action...You'll be disappointed. I think the plot had potential, but the dialogue is painful to hear, predictable to guess, and make next to zero sense. (I'll give you one example) Matthew Perry's character said he was a lawyer who just couldn't work defending lowlife characters for the money, so he quits to become a court process server... OMG you could go prosecution or another type of attorney (contracts, Constitutional Law, Criminal Law, procedural, evidence, and property.) your character passed the BAR exam! It's non-stop lying with unrealistic scenarios. Also you'll genuinely enjoy the movie better if you'd fast forward every scene that has Vincent Pastore or Cedric the Entertainer in it! These guys are the definition of annoying! I felt zero romance, and frequently felt let down by the back story and dialogue through-out the entire film. I give it a three because Elizabeth looks fantastic, and Matthew's character gets better as the movie goes. All in all let down for me.