Reviews

Two hippies on an acid trip in the woods? Oh, sorry, we're talking about Bridge to Terabithia. My girlfriend thought the movie would be filled with fantasy based on the preview. After she saw it, she told me how bad it was. I had to see for myself.

The "story": So basically, junior has a very bad life. His parents don't pay enough attention to him, he hasn't got any friends, and your typical, stupid, walking-talking-cliché bullies keep picking on him. One day, a new girl moves into town. A bubbly little blonde named Leslie. They become friends, and eventually head into the woods. Here is where the magic begins... or so you are led to believe. Instead of going into a magical world, they PRETEND that regular objects are magical! Basically, the story continues as such. They find an old rope, and swing across a shallow stream, which brings them into "Terabithia". Do we actually SEE Terabithia? No.

The story drags on and on, with NOTHING magical happening. Then, completely randomly, Leslie drowns in the shallow stream. Junior is extremely upset, and eventually ends up taking his little sister into "Terabithia" as a replacement, where we actually get to see Terabithia for the first time.... and then BOOM, the movie is over...

The critique: If you want to see the magical fantasy parts of this film, watch the trailer. They are ALL in there. This movie offers viewers absolutely nothing except depression and self-pity. The very idea that this kid goes to a school where every single person is a bully or just mean-spirited is ridiculous. The kid's parents don't care about him, and then Leslie dies, making this entire movie even more of a complete downer. Then, to top it all off, they serve up a nice steaming bowl of religious guilt. Leslie tells junior's little sister she doesn't believe in the Bible, after which the little girl says something along the lines of "if you don't believe it then god will damn you to hell!" And lo and behold, Leslie later dies, leading to junior and dad talking about whether she's going to hell or not. DISGUSTING.

In terms of acting, this movie was sub-par, especially on the part of the school kids. The only decent actors were AnnaSophia Robb, Josh Hutcherson, Robert Patrick, and Zooey Deschanel. So basically the main characters, who's good acting was severely offset by the dismal acting of everyone else. Character development was very poor too. We also get no explanation for "Terabithia". What is it? Where did it come from? Who lives there? Oh, that's right, ITS ALL IN THEIR HEAD.

The fact that all the fantasy is make-believe is upsetting. People see movies like these because they want to see "real" fantasy, such as Harry Potter or Narnia. If you want make-believe fantasy, you can have that for free simply by using your own imagination. Don't be fooled by the trailer!

Loose Change is a documentary created by three college students. The documentary looks to answer a very important question... what happened on 9/11? Their theories? Let's take a look:

1) The U.S. government planned and orchestrated the attacks on its own soil, causing the deaths of more than 3000 innocent people. To try to prove that the government is capable of such a thing, they make a reference to a fake terrorist attack, which was to be carried out in Cuba in the 1960s. The only catch is, nobody in that "attack" was supposed to be injured. I fail to see what this has to do with 9/11. Now, I'm not a big fan of the U.S. government. Matter of fact, I cannot stand it, along with Bush. But to actually suggest that they would be able to carry out such a horrible act, both morally and tactically, AND keep it a secret is ludicrous!

2) The Pentagon wasn't hit by flight 77... it was hit by a cruise missile. They try to prove this by saying that there is a lack of plane parts, and the parts that are there are not from a 757. Brilliant! I don't know how they missed the mountains of debris sitting on the lawn of the Pentagon. And anyone with half a brain could figure out that if a plane hit a building, it would leave a hole, not a cookie-cutter outline of an airplane like in a cartoon.

3) The WTC towers collapsed because they were rigged with explosives, and it was a planned implosion. Again, brilliant. They also say that the plane "barely hit" tower 2. That really got me angry. The plane flew into it at 500+ knots. If it was a planned implosion, how, oh wise college students, could they rig both of the ENTIRE buildings without anyone noticing?

4) Flight 93 didn't crash. It landed safe and sound in Cleveland, Ohio, and the passengers somehow magically disappeared. The phone calls from the planes were all faked. It is "impossible" to make cell phone calls from that altitude. All I can say is, how do these people sleep at night? How on earth do they have the audacity to make such an outrageous claim!

5) The attacks had nothing to do with Osama bin Laden because, get this, he said so! He said he had nothing to do with it. So the creators disregard the mountains of evidence that proves what really happened on 9/11 and they take Osama's word as it were sacred. Why don't you just spit on the victims' graves?

Loose Change is a documentary filled with half-truths, speculation, quotes taken out of context, poor research, logical fallacies, distorted facts, and testimonials from other conspiracy theorists. The research done by these guys was very poor. Not ONCE do they even attempt to actually contact a real expert, because that would disprove their theories right away. The so-called experts that they use are themselves conspiracy theorists. All of the news sources quoted in the film are from right after the attacks. As a matter of fact, I don't think there is a single news article quoted that was from after 2001. A lot of times, the creators are dishonest. And what really gets my blood boiling is that these guys take their opinions and theories and state them as fact! Unbelievable.

You should always question everything before believing it, and that includes garbage like this. Throughout the whole thing, I don't think they prove a single point. I don't think they even have one. Loose Change is misleading and dishonest at best, and downright offensive at worst.

Recommended reading: http://www.loosechangeguide.com/LooseChangeGuide.html

Arnold Schwarzenegger. Way before he was Governor of California. Way before he was the Terminator. Before Conan. And yes, even before Pumping Iron. As a matter of fact, this was even before Arnold won a single Mr. Olympia, and was still only Mr. Universe. Arnold, age 23, is Hercules. In fact, he isn't credited as Arnold Schwarzenegger, but as "Arnold Strong". This movie, intentional or not, is one of the funniest, if not THE funniest movie of all time. The movie is extremely low budget, has horrendous acting, mind-blowingly sub-par special effects (even by the standards of 1970), and an overly-redundant soundtrack. Let's take a closer look.

Hercules is bored with life on Mt. Olympus. The movie starts off with Hercules complaining to Zeus, and telling him that he wants to leave. After a few minutes of back and forth arguing, Zeus gets angry enough at Hercules to throw one of his lightning bolts (which look like they were welded together in a junk-yard) at him, and in a puff of smoke (cheap special effects) he disappears. Turns out he has fallen to earth, somewhere in the middle of the ocean. On his way down, he passes by an airplane, on which an extremely crazy lady with a funny voice and an even funnier hat sees him as she looks out the window, and has a fit.

Here, he is picked up by a freighter, and tells the captain that "no man is superior to Hercules". He spends the rest of the voyage picking fights with the crew for no apparent reason. It is during this scene that John Candy makes his first ever (uncredited) appearance in his movie career. When the ship reaches New York, Hercules goes ashore, and is attacked by a group of hobos, who he takes care of with a wooden plank. This is where he meets "Pretzi", played by Arnold Stang. They hitch a cab ride, only to find out that Hercules has no money, because "Hercules needs no money". The cabbie tries to beat up Herc, who yells the hilarious line of "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HERCULES!", throws him in the bushes, and flips over his taxi.

Herc and Pretzi run off, and somehow end up in a playing field with college students training in discus, javelin, and far jump. Herc says "Zoze men don't ssrow it faaar enuff" and proceeds to humiliate the college students in all events. One hilarious part is when he takes his shirt off and does a titty-dance before throwing the javelin.

After this, Herc and Pretzi are invited to a college professor's house and are sitting in the living room with his smoking-hot daughter (Deborah Loomis). At this point, her friend comes in, and after an exchange of words, he punches Herc in the gut, to which he replies "YOU have strucked Hercules!" and hoists the young man into the air.

Hercules and the hottie end up dating. It is during their first date that they encounter an "escaped bear from the zoo", which is actually (quite conspicuously) a man in a bear costume. Herc pounds the bear into submission, with his girlfriend screaming in the background. This scene has to be one of the funniest in cinematic history. During one of their outings, Herc sees a poster of a Hercules movie, and in his outrage rips off his shirt in the middle of the street, starts posing, and demands to know "who gave zees imperzonator permission to imitate Herkooles!" Before long, Herc becomes a wrestler. Long story short, Pretzi is threatened by the mob to sign Herc over to them, and he does as he is told. Eventually, Herc goes up against "Monstro the Magnificent" in a weightlifting match, which he loses because Juno took away his powers. He gets jumped by the mob, and then its Atlas and Samson (yes, the biblical Samson) to the rescue. In the end, Herc goes back to Mt. Olympus.

For one to fully appreciate this movie, it must be watched with Arnold's real voice, although the dubbed version is great for laughs too. This movie is an absolute jewel. It is so horrible that it's great. It has an innocent charm to it as well, and one can't help but love it. Arnold's acting is virtually nonexistent, and he exhibits less emotion than when he played the Terminator. This is balanced out by Arnold Stang's constant over-acting. Deborah Loomis is smoking-hot, but her acting skills are below average. Hell, everyone's acting in this movie is below-average. This movie contains literally dozens of hilarious one-liners by Arnold. The Mt. Olympus scenes are all filmed in Central Park, and traffic can be heard in the background. You know what? I'm just going to stop here. There are too many hilarious things to list. Go watch it!

The play this horrendous movie is based on and the man who wrote that play are great. However, correct me if I'm wrong, but was this movie nothing more than a 2 hour commercial or what? You've Got Mail, right there, is product placement for AOL. The title of the movie is product placement! Was this entire movie funded by AOL or something? Then there's Starbucks, Visa, Borders, and who knows what else. Not to mention that the whole movie was sappy and boring. I can't believe Tom Hanks agreed to take the leading role in this movie. Oh, and did anyone else notice that this is similar to Sleepless in Seattle? Of course you did. If you want to watch commercials, product placement, and a crappy movie all mixed into one, then go watch it. Have fun!

This is a very straightforward, in your face documentary about the effects that fast food (focused mainly on McDonald's) has on people. Independent filmmaker Morgan Spurlock uses himself as a guinea pig to test what effects eating nothing but McDonald's for a month would have on a person. He has to eat only what is sold at McDonald's, including water. If McDonald's doesn't sell it, he can't eat it. He has to eat three square meals a day. At first, he can't even hold the food down.

The results are rather appalling. He gains 25 lbs. in just one month. His liver functions start dwindling, he has no sex drive, he is always bloated, and he literally gets addicted to the stuff! But this is just part of the documentary. Throughout the whole movie there are interviews with people off the street for various things, interviews with important people in the food industry, a couple of schools are visited to see how much (or little) physical education children get, plus much more. The whole movie is filled with interesting facts from beginning to end. Even the question "where does consumer responsibility end and corporate responsibility begin" is discussed, along with the psychology involved in advertising fast food to children. Enough said about this movie, go see it for an educational and enlightening experience. And if you are overweight, hell, it might even be inspirational for you.

This movie was a whole lot of fun. Interesting characters, good character development, exciting action, decent special effects, good story line, and it kept me involved and entertained. What more do you need? Oh, it also had some humorous parts. The big orange guy was really cool. And so was the guy with the fire. And the invisible chick. Rubber-man too. All four of them were, well, fantastic.

I used to watch the cartoon when I was a little kid. The movie was at least as good. Marvel needs to make more movies like this one, and hopefully not crap like Spider Man 2. Well, I really have nothing else to say about this movie, but I need to write ten lines, and hopefully, by the time this sentence ends, I will have 10 lines.

I have never been a marine, in the army, the airforce, or any sort of military of any country. I am just going to rate this as a movie, and not a measure of realism like many other people on here. This movie absolutely SUCKS. It is the worst war movie I have ever seen. The movie starts off with training, highly reminiscent of Full Metal Jacket (although it can't touch it). I can't help but to think of it as an "updated" FMJ. Then, the marines go to Saudi Arabia. Here is where the action begins... or does it? It does, if you consider a bunch of naked little boys running around and humping each other "action". They sit around aimlessly, hump each other occasionally, and wander around doing nothing, complaining about faulty equipment and a lack of "action", which is exactly what I was complaining about.

This movie has ass. Male ass. Too much of it. I figured there HAS to be some kind of war. I waited until the end, and guess what? There wasn't ANYTHING. As a matter of fact, not one shot is fired out of anger in this movie. Not a single one! What kind of war movie has not one person killed in combat?? Jarhead. Thats what. The only time there are shots fired is during training when that moron gets killed, and at the end where they are shooting into the air. Thats it! No war, no fatalities, no action, and a whole lot of nothing. Great movie!

I actually thought this movie would be worse than it was. Its worth seeing once, but I must warn the viewer, it is intensely, extremely, and shockingly gay! And the scenes come with little to no warning. But I suppose thats the point, right? Basically two people herding sheep end up having a homosexual experience. They still claim "I ain't queer." But they end up becoming closer and closer to each other, and end up falling in love. Meanwhile, they both marry and have families, while seeing each other off and on. Since being gay is unacceptable in that time and place, they keep it a secret. Find out the rest for yourselves.

Aliens are once-again invading! This time they show up out of the blue with enormous spacecraft large enough to cover entire cities. People are welcoming towards them, up until they blow up a bunch of major cities in the world at the same time. How can these aliens be defeated? Watch the movie to find out.

It was a decent movie. I own it. A few funny moments. Good explosions. Good action. Its enjoyable. However, it is way too "America saves the world". Nobody makes a move until the Americans take the lead. How about this quote:

"Hey! The Americans are planning a counter attack!"

"Well, its about bloody time!"

Sickening! Like the entire world is sitting with a thumb up their ass waiting for the US to take the lead! Absolutely disgusting. You can tell it was made by Americans.

What we've got here is your typical 80s action movie. Predictable plot, lots of explosions, bad acting, bad one-liners, clichés galore, its all in there. It all follows a formula. Terrorists (Russians, Germans, Chinese, Middle Eastern, pick one) are planning an invasion of the USA/to hijack something/to kidnap someone important. They start their attack, everyone is clueless and helpless except for our hero, who single handedly takes them out and gets the girl.

This movie, except for the getting the girl part, follows the formula religiously. The invasion starts on the beaches of Florida, where the bad guys somehow already have trucks waiting for them. The terrorists, in this case, are Russians. What a surprise! Nobody in the USA seems to be aware of the imminent threat, except for our hero Chuck Norris. They go around blowing random things up. Now, if this movie had good action in it, like Die Hard or Rambo, it would be good. It is, after all, an action movie, right? However, the action is so bad, and the one-liners are so corny, this movie doesn't even satisfy the "brainless action movie" category. In fact, it makes you want to eat your own hand. Somehow Norris has a sixth sense, and he knows where the bad guys are going to strike next, even before anything bad happens. He randomly keeps appearing to save the day and kills the terrorists. In a surprising "twist", Norris doesn't "get the girl". But that is about the only surprise in this predictable movie. The characters are so shallow, so emotionless, that they are practically robots. The only reason this movie gets 3 stars out of 10, and not 1 star, is because at times it was so awful, it was funny.