Lets Stop and Talk About Our Feelings
Attack on Titan Season 1 Review
Let me start off by saying the first time I watched Attack on Titan Season 1 I was hooked right from the get go. The plot was interesting and original and the Titans were terrifying. I'm not kidding. They truly freaked me out. It's horrifying enough they're gigantic and they eat people but the cherry on the pants crapping terror cake is their otherworldly demeanor. Their Joker smiles. The way some of them run like it's a fun frolic through a flower field. And their inexplicable, insatiable appetite for human flesh. They really like eating people. And If I saw a Titan in real life I'd be like James Wood off of Scary Movie when he sees that girl rotate her head 360 degrees a la The Exorcism. "Funk that!" And run off.
Now that stuff was great and all but upon watching the first season again I gotta tell yea I was starting to lose my patience in a very big way. I cant tell you how many times during intense action scenes where they'd pause it so that the characters can express their thoughts and feelings. For example, the three main characters have to make a split second decision before a cannon blows them to kingdom come but they spend half the f-ing episode talking about the right thing to do! They did the same thing in a scene where an intelligent female Titan is chasing them through the giant tree forest. That Titan is right on their butts and they got time to stop and reflect not once, not twice but three MF-ing times! She's right behind them! There's no time to think stupids. I was getting so upset I'd yell at the screen, "Shut the F up and get on with it already! Jesus Christ!" Can you see how annoying that would get? It'd be like watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick where they'd stop right in the middle of every firefight, 15 minutes at a time, so we can hear every person's thoughts on what's happening. Good Lord! If you'd cut out all that damn exposition in an Attack on Titan episode it'd probably be 7 minutes long. Seriously, that's too much. Shakespeare said, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Obviously the guys who write for Attack on Titan didn't get that memo.
Another thing that annoyed me was how the characters dramatize everything it that over-the-top anime way. You know what I'm talking about. Everything is a big deal and every sentence has the force of a nuclear blast. Eren, the main character, is particularly bad about this. Always screaming and whining about something. Dude you gotta take a chill pill and stop yelling like that or you're going to blow out your hemorrhoids. I should know.
Now don't get me wrong, I still like Attack on Titan even though I just took a huge steaming poopy on it. It's just very frustrating, to me, that an awesome battle scene is constantly interrupted by, "Lets stop and talk about our feelings" bull crap. The first time it didn't bother me too much but the second time it drove me up the walls. If they come out with a second season I will watch it but for the love of God I hope they cut down on all that needless expositional garbage.
Let me start off by saying the first time I watched Attack on Titan Season 1 I was hooked right from the get go. The plot was interesting and original and the Titans were terrifying. I'm not kidding. They truly freaked me out. It's horrifying enough they're gigantic and they eat people but the cherry on the pants crapping terror cake is their otherworldly demeanor. Their Joker smiles. The way some of them run like it's a fun frolic through a flower field. And their inexplicable, insatiable appetite for human flesh. They really like eating people. And If I saw a Titan in real life I'd be like James Wood off of Scary Movie when he sees that girl rotate her head 360 degrees a la The Exorcism. "Funk that!" And run off.
Now that stuff was great and all but upon watching the first season again I gotta tell yea I was starting to lose my patience in a very big way. I cant tell you how many times during intense action scenes where they'd pause it so that the characters can express their thoughts and feelings. For example, the three main characters have to make a split second decision before a cannon blows them to kingdom come but they spend half the f-ing episode talking about the right thing to do! They did the same thing in a scene where an intelligent female Titan is chasing them through the giant tree forest. That Titan is right on their butts and they got time to stop and reflect not once, not twice but three MF-ing times! She's right behind them! There's no time to think stupids. I was getting so upset I'd yell at the screen, "Shut the F up and get on with it already! Jesus Christ!" Can you see how annoying that would get? It'd be like watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger action flick where they'd stop right in the middle of every firefight, 15 minutes at a time, so we can hear every person's thoughts on what's happening. Good Lord! If you'd cut out all that damn exposition in an Attack on Titan episode it'd probably be 7 minutes long. Seriously, that's too much. Shakespeare said, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Obviously the guys who write for Attack on Titan didn't get that memo.
Another thing that annoyed me was how the characters dramatize everything it that over-the-top anime way. You know what I'm talking about. Everything is a big deal and every sentence has the force of a nuclear blast. Eren, the main character, is particularly bad about this. Always screaming and whining about something. Dude you gotta take a chill pill and stop yelling like that or you're going to blow out your hemorrhoids. I should know.
Now don't get me wrong, I still like Attack on Titan even though I just took a huge steaming poopy on it. It's just very frustrating, to me, that an awesome battle scene is constantly interrupted by, "Lets stop and talk about our feelings" bull crap. The first time it didn't bother me too much but the second time it drove me up the walls. If they come out with a second season I will watch it but for the love of God I hope they cut down on all that needless expositional garbage.